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CommentsHey Conner!! I hope you are having a good day. Tell mama and daddy that I am thinking about them today and that I hope your grandmamma Connie is resting well today. Please tell them to call me when they need another meal. I think about ya'll all of the time. Bye for now! Amanda Cartee
CommentsHey Conner!! I hope you are having a good day. Tell mama and daddy that I am thinking about them today and that I hope your grandmamma Connie is resting well today. Please tell them to call me when they need another meal. I think about ya'll all of the time. Bye for now! Amanda Cartee
CommentsBetsey, Please, please, please know Mandi, Mark and I are praying for you, John, and Conner. Please kiss Connie, my dear friend, for me. I wish so I lived closer so I could help in some way. All my energy is given to prayer for no pain and peace of mind. We love you so very much. Please give hugs to Sonny, Jim, John, and Daniel. Miss Lucie
CommentsBetsey- Hey! This past week has been crazy. I'm so sorry I haven't been by to see Conner. I wonder if he likes to get mail??? Anyway ... I'm going to come by real soon.(I know you wish I'd stop saying it and do it.) I'm so sorry to hear of Mrs. Connie and the state that she is in. I know the feelings of wanting her pain free and yet wanting her here. I know it is so hard to watch someone so strong yet so weak. I can remember the girls' mother, it was just a year ago when we were in the same postion. Hospice is a WONDERFUL program. I'd love to bring a meal by next week... is there a certain day or should I call? Let me know if you have a hankerin' for something specific. <>< Meredith
CommentsThanks Meredith, Amanda, Miss Lucie, Maria and all of our other loving and caring friends out there who have been thinking of us. I must tell you that getting good food is wonderful. I think though we never know when we are going to use "let's go get something to eat" as a way to take a break from the tension of the hospital or the whole situation. It seems when Conner was in the hospital, our days began to revolve around when and where we would eat. But that is usually during the day, not supper. We appreciate all the food people have brought. Now we just need to know how to get all the dishes back to the correct people! I am getting fat with all this good food, by the way. The desserts that have been sent are getting me super fat. Well, Connie's day yesterday was not too good and she spent most of the day unresponsive until the medication was lightened up. Today she spoke and even made sense in a lot ways and joked a bit. Later we took Conner up to the hospital (I was a little nervous about that with the icky germs and all) but I am glad we did because Connie talked to Conner and she touched him and stared at him. We were all there at the same time today-John, me, Conner, Baby Jim, Jim and Julie, Sonny, Daniel, MaMa-and Jane O'Donnell, of course, who has been with us this whole time. Jane took a picture of us with John's camera. He told Connie we'd use it as the Christmas picture next year as a joke since she used to always MAKE us go somewhere we didn't want to go and take too much time and effort to take a thousand pictures and she'd say "that'll be our Christmas picture." I think she got the joke. I see pieces of her but really its not her. The Real Connie didn't have puffy fingers or pale skin. She always has a nice tan on her arms and hands-her eyes always are sparkly blue and she is the one who is doing the comforting. I haven't seen her since last Tuesday. I caught a glimpse of her today but I don't know if I will tomorrow.
CommentsConner's doing fine. Connie is kind of the same. I will report more later. No change.
CommentsBetsey, The respite is available immediately. I'll bring the forms when it is convenient. Love, Deborah
CommentsThanks Deborah. I think I got some extra weekend help for that respite assistance. I hope. Connie's hanging in there but of course we know she is progressively getting worse. I am so tired of this life (this kind of life). I know things will get better one day but I am so tired of so much sadness and misery-I don't know what else to do. I try to find fun things to do with Conner but I am mentally exhausted and so unmotivated. I have to force myself to be "fun" and happy for him. My mouth hurts; my stomach hurts-I am stressed out! So, I am glad my mommy is here because she knows just what to do to destress me. She mommy's me good so I can mommy Conner good. Okay, now that I have complained, I have to be thankful. I am so glad Conner is doing well (relatively) right now. I am glad I have supportive friends and family. I am glad that I have an entire lifetime ahead of me to make great things happen to make up for the hard times. I am glad that I will survive whatever comes up (with a lotta help from earth and the angels and the heavens above!) Thanks for listening-
CommentsBetsy, I am sure the days seem long and exhausting. I am glad that your mom is here with you. Just remember if you need anything at all, I will do anything that I can to help. I have not gone to the hospital because I am sure it continues to be swamped, but just remember that we are thinking about you and your whole family and praying for you. I am glad that you can somehow manage to have a vision of your future. Just hang in there and remember we are here if you need us. I will call you Sunday night and plan on bringing some food over next week. Amanda
CommentsI'm sending special prayers and happy thoughts your way right now. There is NOTHING more exhausting than sitting in a hospital (it is physically, mentally and emotionally draining) when you go home, I know it must be tough to get yourself "UP" for Connor again. Try and hang in there. For what it's worth, there are so many people out here who love all of you and are praying for your family every day. I'm glad your mom is with you -- there's nothing better than a mommy in a time of need! (That's why Conner loves you so much) CALL ME IF I CAN DO ANTHING!!!! AT ALL!
CommentsBetsy, this is a little long but it touched me. I found it on the PDHeart website that Ashley June belongs to. There are many critically ill children on that site too and it asks the question "How can God do this?" "Tomorrow morning," the surgeon began, "I'll open your heart..." "You'll find Jesus there," the boy interrupted. The surgeon looked up, annoyed. "I'll cut your heart open," he continued, "to see how much damage has been done..." "But when you open up my heart, you'll find Jesus in there." The surgeon looked to the parents who sat quietly. "When I see how much damage has been done, I'll sew your heart and chest back up and I'll plan what to do next." "But you'll find Jesus in my heart. The Bible says he lives there. The hymns all say He lives there. You'll find Him in my heart." The surgeon had had enough. "I'll tell you what I'll find in your heart. I'll find damaged muscle, low blood supply, and weakened vessels. And I'll find out if I can make you well." "You'll find Jesus there too. He lives there." The surgeon left. The surgeon sat in his office, recording his notes from the surgery, "...damaged aorta, damaged pulmonary vein, widespread muscle degeneration. No hope for transplant, no hope for cure. Therapy: pain killers and bed rest. Prognosis: here he paused, "death within one year." He stopped the recorder, but there was more to be said. "Why?" he asked aloud. "Why did you do this? You've put him here; You've put him in this pain; and You've cursed him to an early death. Why?" The Lord answered and said, "The boy, My lamb, was not meant for your flock for long, for he is a part of My flock, and will forever be. Here, in My flock, he will feel no pain, and he will be comforted as you cannot imagine. His parents will one day join him here, and they will know peace, and My flock will continue to grow." The surgeon's tears were hot, but his anger was hotter. "You created that boy, and You created that heart. He'll be dead in months. Why? The Lord answered, "The boy, My lamb, shall return to My flock, for he has done his duty: I did not put My lamb with your flock to lose him, but to retrieve another lost lamb." The surgeon wept. Then he went to sit across from the boy and next to the boy's parents. The boy awoke and whispered, "Did you cut open my heart?" "Yes," said the surgeon. "What did you find?" asked the boy. "I found Jesus there," said the surgeon. -Author unknown
CommentsThanks Laura. Connie seemed a little more aware today of things. She still sees my face and thinks I am there to tell her Conner is gone. So I start with telling her Conner is fine and he is doing great at home. He actually has had a good day. Except that he passed out when Belinda came to do therapy. So, he'll get it tomorrow. I appreciate her flexibility. He is so silly. Report later.
CommentsJust wanted to say thanks to all for being so caring and thoughtful.
CommentsBetsey, Your strength absolutely amazes me. I can't imagine what your family is going through and what you're personally experiencing. I feel so helpless here and wish there was some way to help. I do pray for your family - individually - everyday. Conner and Connie have long since been on the prayer journal at my church and they continuously pray for those on there until they get an update from the people who added them to the journal. Even then, I imagine, they keep on praying for them. I will tell you this, and maybe I shouldn't, but it gave me a little comfort from the thought. Early yesterday morning I was saying my prayers and as I thought of Ms.Connie I got an overwhelming since of peace. I thought about Mr. Wilbur who will most certainly be there to greet her and I know how much she loved him. Then I just imagined this long line of people there, arms outstretched waiting to greet her into this paradise. Kevin Conner, Mr. Sonny's mom - huh-huh and his dad and all those who have gone on before her. I just know she is going to such a better place. Although it pains us all miserably to loose her from this earth, I have to believe, I do believe that we will see her again and it will be GLORIOUS!! Just remember the Petty family loves you all dearly. We are all thinking about you daily. There are people here whom you've never met who call me just to see how John, Betsey, Conner and Ms. Connie are doing. I don't know how much that helps but I at-least wanted you to know that there are people everywhere who are praying for you and keeping up with you and wishing, hoping and praying for miracles, mercy and peace. Take care and know that I am only a plane flight away and can be there for what ever you may need me to do. I will be happy to sit with Conner, baby Jim, make food, call people with updates whatever you need me to do - here or there - I am happy to do it. Love all of you - please give John and Conner and yourself a hug and a kiss from all of us here! Robyn
CommentsRobyn-thanks so much. I feel too that Connie has so many loved ones just waiting for her to come to them. They need her obviously more than we do. She has done this dying thing with as much dignity as one could. Jane O'Donnell (First Baptist Church Nurse) has assisted with that. Today was a hard day. Conner went unconcious again today. It just seems forever to get him back and all I could think was that Connie wants to go first. I thought, no!, this isn't supposed to happen. Please, just give Connie her dying wish and let her go BEFORE Conner. We're so close. I couldn't have gone back to that hospital if we had lost Conner today. She is so scared he will die before her and today I thought he might. Now It will take me a few days to get back to my normal stressed out self. Anyway, Conner is fine now but oh how we love him. We are getting through the days. I mean what choice do we have? Just keep on going along. It helps that we have so much love and support. I just can't imagine those who don't have all the support we do. We do appreciate it. I expect that Connie can't keep going in her condition for much longer. It was hard seeing her today. Very hard. I love her so and she loves her family. What will they do? Miss her.
CommentsMy Dear Sweet Betsey, Your strength will continue. We pray for peaceful transition. We pray for calmness. We pray for all of you at this time. We love each of you so. Thank you for letting us share a small part of this time with you and your family. Much love to my dear friend Connie whose smile I will always see. Love, Miss Lucie
CommentsConner had a great day. He went swimming in his mini pool (jacuzzi). He swung, he rode in his wagon. I am about to take him back to his room and give him his treatment and put him to bed. Conner is listening to a CD that John had made for Connie a while back. It has some fifties through eighties on it. But it also has some of the songs on it from some of Conner's favorite movies. We took a CD player and this cd to the hospital when Connie was still a little aware of things. My mom played it and Connie sung to first song-the one from Toy Story. Connie mouthed the whole song. Oh, Conner is ready to go to the back. He is singing with the cd but if I don't get him back he is going to fall asleep right there on the futon. No change with Connie. Hope's baby is supposed to be born in the middle of night. He may take one as He gives us one. Talk later. Love to all.
CommentsDear Betsey, We are all praying for the entire Riggs family here in N.J. Pastor Alec of our church has been praying for little Conner and Connie since we returned from Baby Jim's birthday party. We feel so helpless up here but we know that prayer is the only sure thing! Keep your chin up kid, you are surely an angel on earth. You earned your wings long ago. Much love, Roz
CommentsDear Betsey, We are all praying for the entire Riggs family here in N.J. Pastor Alec of our church has been praying for little Conner and Connie since we returned from Baby Jim's birthday party. We feel so helpless up here but we know that prayer is the only sure thing! Keep your chin up kid, you are surely an angel on earth. You earned your wings long ago. Much love, Roz
CommentsDear Betsey, We are all praying for the entire Riggs family here in N.J. Pastor Alec of our church has been praying for little Conner and Connie since we returned from Baby Jim's birthday party. We feel so helpless up here but we know that prayer is the only sure thing! Keep your chin up kid, you are surely an angel on earth. You earned your wings long ago. Much love, Roz
CommentsDear Betsey, We are all praying for the entire Riggs family here in N.J. Pastor Alec of our church has been praying for little Conner and Connie since we returned from Baby Jim's birthday party. We feel so helpless up here but we know that prayer is the only sure thing! Keep your chin up kid, you are surely an angel on earth. You earned your wings long ago. Much love, Roz
CommentsBetsey, I am so glad Conner had a better day today. Bless your heart and all you are going through. I hope it is of some comfort to know how much you are thought of and loved. I admire your strength, your compassion, and your honesty. I can almost (no one will ever know) but I can almost imagine how you are feeling by reading your journal. It amazes me how you always bounce back with such a positive attitude. You really are something else. I am sure you know how Ms. Connie feels about you. She has told me on numerous occasions how blessed she feels to have you in her family. You truly are the daughter she never had. She loves you so much too. Keep your head up and know you are always with us. We love Conner too, give him a big hug and a kiss. He is so special to so many people. Love to all of you. Robyn
CommentsBetsy, John, and Conner, What fantastic pictures you guys put on the site! They were so nice to look at. I know you guys are all going through an extremely difficult time right now. I just want you to know that you are all in my prayers every single day. Please give a hug to everyone for me. Love, Susan
CommentsSusan and Roz-thanks. I couldn't figure out who Susan Pollock was for a minute there. But I KNOW! Your sister was here for a while with Baby Jim tonight. I enjoyed their visit. Jim looks so much like a Riggs but nothing like Conner! We celebrated MaMa's birthday here today. No big deal but just big enough to let her know how important she is to us-no matter what! Ms. Amie Smith brought food (good food!), Amanda and Mrs. Emily Nevil had brought delicious chicken salad that we are still eating, and later Ms. Linda Sammons brought us food. We ate it for a Birthday lunch, sent some with Jim and Julie Riggs, and made plates for Sonny and MaMa for supper. We have enough left for lunch tomorrow and hopefully will have all the famiy that is here to eat it. Mrs. Tankersly is bringing food tomorrow night, so we are set! I can't tell you how nice it is to have all the food we need. When I can't get out very easy it is nice to have it all here and have the family stop by to eat. I visited with Connie today. I have to tell you that if you are considering going to see her, please don't feel that if you decide not to go that the family or Connie will feel that you don't care. Connie really is not in a state to benefit from having visitors. At this point, it is for the family to know you are there if you go. It is hard because we know the boys have a hard time with their mother being seen in a state that we all know Connie would never have wanted anyone to see her in. It is difficult because so many people love Connie, but this isn't the Connie that you knew and she doesn't know who is visiting her. I visit one day and she doesn't know I was there when I go back. She amazed us today with her humor and apparent clarity only to realize moments later that, no-she isn't making sense. Just brief moments and then they are gone and she doesn't remember. Her coughs are weaker and you can hear the lack of space and effort in her lungs. Well, after my visit with Connie I walked to the Women's Pavilion to see Hope's new baby. Hope's baby-Alaina (I think that spelling is right) was tiny-5 lbs 14 oz-I THINK! I was so happy to hold this precious bundle in my arms. She is an absolute angel and HEALTHY! I had to have a talk with Conner this morning when he was giving the new nurse a hard time. He kept crying when nothing was wrong. I asked him if he missed Hope and he said, Uh-HUH. I told him she'd be back but he'd have to be nice to Miss Irene. She was being nice to him and he needed to be sweet and HE STOPPED CRYING%
CommentsSusan and Roz-thanks. I couldn't figure out who Susan Pollock was for a minute there. But I KNOW! Your sister was here for a while with Baby Jim tonight. I enjoyed their visit. Jim looks so much like a Riggs but nothing like Conner! We celebrated MaMa's birthday here today. No big deal but just big enough to let her know how important she is to us-no matter what! Ms. Amie Smith brought food (good food!), Amanda and Mrs. Emily Nevil had brought delicious chicken salad that we are still eating, and later Ms. Linda Sammons brought us food. We ate it for a Birthday lunch, sent some with Jim and Julie Riggs, and made plates for Sonny and MaMa for supper. We have enough left for lunch tomorrow and hopefully will have all the famiy that is here to eat it. Mrs. Tankersly is bringing food tomorrow night, so we are set! I can't tell you how nice it is to have all the food we need. When I can't get out very easy it is nice to have it all here and have the family stop by to eat. I visited with Connie today. I have to tell you that if you are considering going to see her, please don't feel that if you decide not to go that the family or Connie will feel that you don't care. Connie really is not in a state to benefit from having visitors. At this point, it is for the family to know you are there if you go. It is hard because we know the boys have a hard time with their mother being seen in a state that we all know Connie would never have wanted anyone to see her in. It is difficult because so many people love Connie, but this isn't the Connie that you knew and she doesn't know who is visiting her. I visit one day and she doesn't know I was there when I go back. She amazed us today with her humor and apparent clarity only to realize moments later that, no-she isn't making sense. Just brief moments and then they are gone and she doesn't remember. Her coughs are weaker and you can hear the lack of space and effort in her lungs. Well, after my visit with Connie I walked to the Women's Pavilion to see Hope's new baby. Hope's baby-Alaina (I think that spelling is right) was tiny-5 lbs 14 oz-I THINK! I was so happy to hold this precious bundle in my arms. She is an absolute angel and HEALTHY! I had to have a talk with Conner this morning when he was giving the new nurse a hard time. He kept crying when nothing was wrong. I asked him if he missed Hope and he said, Uh-HUH. I told him she'd be back but he'd have to be nice to Miss Irene. She was being nice to him and he needed to be sweet and HE STOPPED CRYING!!! It was so funny. He missed Hope and was pouting! But he had a good day. So sweet! Conner woke up at about 5:30 am and only napped for 45 min. and is still awake (10:22 pm) I don't know what his deal is! He has been tired all day but he knows his routine is off. He got a warm bath tonight right before bed so hopefully he will have a great night and not wake up so early. Good night! Thanks for your encouragement. We appreciate how wonderful our friends and family have been.
CommentsRoz- you aren't the only one who sends her messages more than once!!!
CommentsHey Betsey, John and Conner! Just wanted you to know I was here and thinking about you guys. I hope John's cold is getting better and he is not getting sick. I am sure that all of you are completely worn out. Try to take care of yourselves. Betsey, I think that is so sweet of you to think of how Ms. Connie would want everyone to remember her. It is hard for me to imagine the state she is in or picture her any other way. I keep picturing the energetic, fun-loving, happy person that I'll always remember her as being. I sure am going to miss her. Thanks for keeping us updated on your site. Just remember you are thought of constantly and loved by so, so many! Robyn
CommentsI can't wait to tell you what a day Conner has had. This morning Miss Irene did his treatment and got him dressed. He was doing so well that I decided to take him with me to a Parent-to-Parent Mother's Day Luncheon at The First Baptist Church. I knew there would be other kids there who had disabilities but I wasn't sure if Conner would benefit from going. Well, while I was getting ready, he just seemed to do well. So we packed him up and took him. We strolled him in the church with his wagon. John helped Irene and me get Conner upstairs (in the elevator) to the nursery. As Conner rounded the corner into the room he caught sight of a BIG SCREEN TV!!!! Yipppppeeeeee. And sitting on top of that BIG SCREEN TV was THE JUNGLE BOOK and VeggieTales!!!! So, needless to say, he had a good time. I put his bipap and pulse ox monitor on to avoid any emergencies and off I went like a normal Mommy-me at a luncheon and my son in the nursery. It was lovely. And he didn't even cry. In fact when I went to check on him, he wouldn't even look at me. Whatever! As we were pulling into the neighborhood on our way home, Conner fell asleep. He looked so precious we couldn't remove him from the car. He fell asleep without his machine hooked up and we don't often get to see him like that. So, we opened both doors to the van and John and I just laid out there with Conner until he woke up 45 minutes later. Since he had had a nap and I gave some food while he was asleep, we then took him for a drive around the neighborhood with the van door open and then to the hospital(door closed)-its right across the street. Connie wasn't too aware. I guess I really don't know her level of awareness. She may know more but not be able to articulate what she is aware of. Anyway, regardless, she held Conner's hand and said, "Hey love..." like she used to. That was nice. Connie really wanted to rest while we were there. She would fall asleep off and on. So we didn't stay long. There isn't too much to say about it but it just isn't good. Not good to see. Marsha, thanks for your visit with Conner last night and getting him to sleep! Also, you did a great job at the luncheon today speaking about Kailyn (correct spelling?). Every time you do that you must feel her near you. But maybe you do everyday? Thanks for your encouragment. Tara, be careful-Marsha is closing in on your man! I will remain neutral and stay out of Conner's "business." Talk soon, thanks Robyn! Thanks for everyone's support. Today was a great day for Conner and it is nice to share good news for a change.
CommentsHi Ya'll I miss you since I got home and back to work...boring job. Conner, you're much more fun than a nasty old job. Hope Mommy is counting your piggies and kissing your neck where all the good sugar is. I can see your smile when I close my eyes. You are surely my little angel. I'm praying for Connie's comfort and for the family's peace of mind. I miss MaMa and our little chats. Tell her I still have her birthday card...forgot to give it to her. Love, Grammy
CommentsBetsey, I was so glad to see you and Conner at the meeting yesterday. You looked beautiful and your smile was bigger than ever. You are so great with Conner and sharing him with others. Everyone was tickled that you came and that Conner was able to come as well. Your group worked together well as a team. John and Mrs. Irene were both sweet. Conner was very excited to see that big screen tv and did mention he might like one of those, ha ha. I am so thankful to know each of you. And yes, it does make me feel closer to Kalyn when I am able to brag about her to others, so thanks for allowing me to indulge. I imagine God allowed the clouds to roll back yesterday so that she might peek in to see her Mommy and smile at what a big girl she was during her time here with us. Now that she is in charge of all the pretty sunsets she is pretty busy each afternoon. :o) We continue to miss her but my how sweet it is to walk down that path of her memory again and love her a little closer. Conner enables me to do that by giving me all the sugar I need and then still has lots more of his own. He is the sweetest and smartest little boy I have seen in a long long time. I love him very much and I am very proud of his Mommy and Daddy for all they do. Love you, Marsha :o)
CommentsDear Betsey, John, and Conner: I am so glad that you were able to attend the parent luncheon. I am sure Conner enjoyed being in the nursery around the other children. I was told that the switch for Conner's TV was ordered and should be in any day now. I think of you all often and the struggles that you are dealing with each day. I admire your strength and compassion for each other so much. Love, Belinda
CommentsBetsey, I got in too late to call you last night, but whoever you want for respite it fine. There is no limit because of the circumstances right now. Please use it freely and I will bring the forms. We will reimburse at the end of the month. If you have any other questions you can call me anytime.It was great to see yall at the luncheon. Let me know what I can do. Love Bunches, Deborah
CommentsBetsey, I was just reading some of the older journal entries and I saw where "Baby Mugs" got broken in the mail. I am sorry, I did not see that before. I will look around DFW and see if I can find him another one. Steele loved it and I imagine if Conner likes "Baby Animals on Uncle Larry's Farm", he would like "Baby Mugs" as well. Are there any others you are looking for and having trouble finding. There are lots of places here and I would be happy to send Conner a new video! He is so sweet. I read about the luncheon you attended. You sounded so happy, I wished I could give you a big hug and tell you how happy I was for you when I read it. You really are so special Betsey. I hope Connie is resting well and not in as much pain. We are still praying for all of you guys daily. We are planning a trip to Georgia soon, I would love to come over and visit. Maybe I could bring Steele if Conner likes being around other kids. They are about the same age. It seems like the past couple of times I have come to see you, either Steele or Madison was sick and I was always afraid of spreading germs. Hugs and kisses to each of you! We love you lots! The Petty's
CommentsHappy Mother's Day Betsey!!!!!!!!!!!
Commentsthanks, Happy Mother's Day to all you other Mother's out there and Connie. I am tired. I am going to sleep. No nurses this weekend. Things are just the same around here. Conner had a fine day. His Daddy took care of him this morning and I slept. He watched videos and sat out on the swing with me and Bessie. Aunt Nancy and cousin Matt came to visit later and Conner was his usual rude self when they got in the way of his tv. He's been a sweetie today as usual. I am so lucky to have him. He makes me a good momma.
CommentsHi Conner's Mommy, it's me, Casey! Just wanted to say that I hope you have a wonderful day today on Mother's Day!My mom reads to me all about Conner and your family. I know how much you love Conner because I know how much my mom loves me! I know it is hard sometimes to take care of Conner and how much you must worry about him. But take it, from me, a boy who knows, Conner and I are so lucky to have the special Moms that we do! Say "Hi" to Conner for me. Tell him that I have a tent just like his that I love to play in, too.
Comments
CommentsBetsey
CommentsBetsey, sorry it's been awhile since I've written you a note, but believe me, you, Conner, John and all of the Riggs family have been in my thoughts and prayers. Such wonderful people who have perservered so much! I know things are pretty bleak right now, but I know you're always looking for that Rainbow Betsey and other's will draw from your strength. You are such an anchor that firmly holds on with Faith. I know it is late this Sunday night, but I couldn't let this day by without telling you, of all the deserving mothers in this world, HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY BETSEY!!!!!!! There are no words, or may there are words, and I just can't put them in the sequence they need to be placed to describe my admiration of you and you as a mother.
CommentsBetsey, sorry it's been awhile since I've written you a note, but believe me, you, Conner, John and all of the Riggs family have been in my thoughts and prayers. Such wonderful people who have perservered so much! I know things are pretty bleak right now, but I know you're always looking for that Rainbow Betsey and other's will draw from your strength. You are such an anchor that firmly holds on with Faith. I know it is late this Sunday night, but I couldn't let this day by without telling you, of all the deserving mothers in this world, HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY BETSEY!!!!!!! There are no words, or may there are words, and I just can't put them in the sequence they need to be placed to describe my admiration of you and you as a mother.
CommentsBetsey, sorry it's been awhile since I've written you a note, but believe me, you, Conner, John and all of the Riggs family have been in my thoughts and prayers. Such wonderful people who have perservered so much! I know things are pretty bleak right now, but I know you're always looking for that Rainbow Betsey and other's will draw from your strength. You are such an anchor that firmly holds on with Faith. I know it is late this Sunday night, but I couldn't let this day by without telling you, of all the deserving mothers in this world, HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY BETSEY!!!!!!! There are no words, or maybe there are words, and I just can't put them in the sequence they need to be placed to describe my admiration of you and you as a mother. You are such a wonderful person and such a wonderful mother and caretaker of your precious little angel, Conner. I guess I better go for now, it is late, but I truly hope you had a Great Mother's Day and if there were ever a more fitting example of true "motherhood" than you, I'd like to have the pleasure of meeting her also. I know everyone says this and everyone means this, if there is anything I can do for you, don't hesitate to call me. Let me know the latest with all the agency stuff and if I can help with any of the paper work or red tape or anything, I try my best to get it done for you. Give Mr. Conner a big ole' kiss from his secret admirer in Metter, Ga. Take care and Love you much. Terri Bland.
CommentsYou're so sweet Terri... You give good pep talks! Hey, I feel like a good MOM! I sure ain't the best but I love my youngin' I've been in the deep, far south almost ten years now-its about time I pick up the lingo. Anyway, speaking of loving mothers, Connie is still in the hospital. To say there is no change would be misleading. Actually, there is no situation to change to when you are next to death-except death. Of course she is worse. Each minute, each hour is that much more time for tumors to grow or lungs to fill or kidneys to fail. Death ain't pretty folks. Never has been, never will be. Can you tell I am deliriously tired? I can. I get very sarcastic. I have a nurse so I better get some sleep. Conner and I enjoyed our day. I got Rugrats in Paris for him on Pay-per-view. That was his treat. My treat was to lay outside on the other side of the back door from him in the sun. He was so close I put his pulse ox outside with me while it was still attached to his foot. I also had his monitor. He liked the movie, thank goodness. It was still a little hard laying out though because he needed food, turning, switching out face cloths, and lots of kisses! Conner is so wonderful. He gave me big smiles today and lots of kisses. He turned blue a little while ago which is unusual at night but he is fine now. I can't think too much about it or it will make me nauseated, especially since I am tired. I am off to sleep. I need a good escape romance or mystery novel to get my mind off the bad stuff before I go to bed. I have stuff around here. I'll go find one. Tomorrow is another day. Lets hope its at least a pretty one. Marsha knows how I hate those rainy days. Oh, Belinda, we got the switch and Conner played with it turning the tv and his ball of light on and off. He "got it" but kept turning the tv off and I would have to push play to start the video back. Over and over. And Bonnie, we got the proofs in the mail and I am still trying to figure out which pictures I like best. I will hopefully email and tell you the ones I pick in the next day. Talk soon.
CommentsHey Betsy! I am glad that you and Conner were able to get out and go a few places last week. I just wanted to let you know that I continously keep you and your entire families in my thoughts and prayers!! I hope you know how much everyone admires you for your strength and dedication to your family. I hope you will call me if there is anything at all that I can do. I will check with you about food. Let me know if the family needs anything at all. Take care of yourself and know that we are thinking about you and your family! Love, Amanda
CommentsHi Betsey- I hope you had a wonderful Mother's Day. You deserve it more than anyone. I hope that one day when I'm a mother that I will be half the Mother that you are to Conner. Your strength, love, and care for Conner reach far above the heavens. I am so proud to call you my "Friend". Conner is very lucky to have such a special mommy. I hope that Mrs. Connie is resting well. I pray everyday that she will be spared from pain. Give my best to everyone. Please give Conner big kisses and hugs. I miss you and think about you and your family everyday!!!! Lots of Love, M
CommentsIt's kind of hard to think of the great mother's day I had yesterday with my family at Billy's house...I didn't have you and Jeff there in body but I had you in spirit and I know there will be lots more good times and then I think of the Riggs - those sweet boys and Sonny and all the pain they have endured watching Connie grow weaker and slip further from her strong presence in their lives. And oh God how I know the pain they still have ahead and it just hurts not to be able to absorb some of that for them. But unfortunately some things we have to experience for ourselves and no one, not the most well meaning and loving people in the world can shield us from it or lessen it's effects. But I hope they will know that the Carlisle family loves them more than we can say and we always will be here when they need us.
CommentsMaria, I guess you've guessed I won't be coming down for the SMA fundraiser. I am sorry, I should've told you more directly. Grammy, I told even know if we told you Happy Mother's Day. I think we did but I hope you had a good one. Happy Birthday to my brother Billy! Needless to say, you are OLD Billy! Uh, I am sick. I got sick as the day went on yesterday and I went to bed about 7. I was going to cook a really good supper but I had to stop in the middle and get in bed. My muscles ache and I feel naseated. Beautiful. Conner is doing fine today but I really hope he doesn't get whatever I have. Actually, I have to go. I have an appt. Connie's not lookin' well nor does she sound very good. That is to be expected. Thanks. OH!!!Robyn and Laura, I got my package and I love my stuff!!!!! What a perfect Mother's Day gift for me. I love lotions and face and hand stuff. I put that other lotion you gave me, Robyn, on Conner when he gets out of the bath and he smells great. Of course I use it too. Thanks so much!
Commentsuh, I can't even write. Just read the note above as if I made no writing mistakes or misspellings.
CommentsBetsey, Are you having nursing problems again. Let me know. I hope you are feeling better. Love Deborah
CommentsI regret having to tell any of Connie's close friends who are reading this, especially Miss Lucie, but some may not know if I don't post it here. Connie passed last night about 11:15. The funeral will almost definately be on Friday. I'll tell more when I know.
CommentsVisitation Thursday 5-9 and Funeral, Friday at 4:00 p.m. Funeral Home is Joiner-Anderson and church is First Baptist. Conner is doing fine. He talked up a storm today and started right out singing one of Grandmommy's favorite Veggietales' songs this morning. I think she was singing in his ear. As far as everyone else, I honestly can't know how each is feeling or doing. Its such a personal kind of thing. Everyone says "I'm fine" which means "I'm still functioning." Thanks.
CommentsBetsey, Thanks for taking the time to keep us posted, even in the midst of your grief. I am praying for all of you. Lots of Love, Shelley
CommentsBetsy - The funeral was so lovely and touching yesterday. It broke my heart to see Mr. Sonny, the three boys and you and Julie in so much obvious pain. Miss Connie was truly one of the most wonderful people I've ever known and we will all miss her so much. I hope you can all take some measure of comfort in knowing that we all love you and that Miss Connie is smiling down from heaven watching all of you. I am glad her suffering has ended but so sorry for the void that you all must be feeling right now. As always, you are in my prayers and I know that God will continue to give you the strength that we all so admire. Much love, Laura
CommentsLosing Connie has been so very hard for all of us in a very personal and individual way. But we don't for a moment think we can feel what Sonny, Jim, John, and Daniel are feeling right now, and dear MaMa. I just watched the video that I took in the hospital the day that Conner was born and remembered the monumental happiness we felt that day. We shed tears then, also, but they were tears of joy. I'm so glad that we had no idea that day that so much saddness was ahead for us. We were able to be just plain happy...with our hopes and dreams and expectations for a happy future. And though thinks look pretty bleak right now, we have to know that is still happiness ahead and we have to enjoy it wherever we can find and for as long as we can have it. There have been many times in my life when I thought that I would cry forever, but I didn't, I actually laughed again and it felt right to be happy. Of course, right now it feels right to be sad and I am so sad. I'll always remember Connie for the special person she was and when I talk to Bill in heaven, I'll be telling him to go find Connie cause he sure will like her, and she can tell him all about his grandson, Conner, and how special he is. I miss you little guy - make mommy do your "piggies" so you can think of grammy and smile.
CommentsMy Dear Betsey, Such a blessing you are for all of us. Wouldn't Connie have been so impressed with the out-pouring of such love for her and her family? All the people she had touched. I bet she could've called each person by name. Mandi and I recalled all the many memories of the Riggs family on our long drive home. We didn't run out of anything to talk about. I felt so reconnected as I was back in the church where our children were dedicated. Sonny was Mandi and Mark's Decon and stood with me during the dedication. Oh such memories. Another wonderful moment in my return was getting to see the "Fabulous Conner". To touch him and talk to him. And I did remember not to get between he and the "Veggie Tales" video. Connie sang the songs from the video to us on the beach last summer. She could always remember words. What fun they are having now! Betsey, you were so very gracious to invite us to your home. I am very grateful to you and John. Connie is still bringing joy into our lives with the wonderful memories and those wonderful smiles. Our school is over now, but we will still keep everyone in our prayers and our hearts. Keep your smile and those bright eyes glowing. We always knew how beautiful you were because Connie told us so much. And of course, she was right, as always. WE love you. Miss Lucie
CommentsWell, John, Sonny and my friend, Lorie, went to church this morning. I wanted to try to take Conner but I was so tired. I didn't feel like it. But I hope we can do that regular enough that Conner would expect it. That would be neat for him if he could make the trip. Honestly, John and I always talked about when we had children they would go to church regularly because we wanted them to learn about the Bible and appreciate the security that going each Sunday offered. I wanted my child to learn early what I barely know now. Conner probably knows more about the message of the Bible through watching VeggieTales than I have picked up in a lifetime. Why should we amend our plan? Conner does anticipate activities now so why not do what we had planned to do and take him. Well, we thought we couldn't but maybe, maybe, maybe we can. If we can expect it and plan it well, maybe we can get him there. I just don't know. We'll see. ANYWAY! I was so satisfied to see you, Miss Lucie, and Mandi. You are both very special people (and talk about beautiful!). But we are lucky that Connie (and Sonny and the boys) have made such wonderful friends because the support has been like beautiful flowers lining the sides of a seemingly endless, painful road. We see flowers as far as the eye can see on both sides of the road. We also see lots of beautiful flowers and plants at Sonny's and our house. I think Conner is allergic to some of these flowers and I need to get them outside (on our new sanctuary we've created on the patio with plants and flowers). He's had a hard time with s-n-o-t since I brought some flowers home from the hospital the night Connie died. I had taken them to his room so he could see how pretty they were. Poor baby! He is doing pretty well today. We have a good nurse with a respiratory background so she's handling him pretty well today. I got to rest this morning which felt great. Conner is so sweet. He did enjoy getting to visit with so many people that loved his grandmommy. I know Connie is watching over him. That seems so hard to say. It is so hard to think that I can't go over to her house and see her or call her and ask her valued opinion. I always would ask her about what was "appropriate" (and then do the opposite-just kidding!) Not only did she have excellent judgment but could convey her message without damaging your feelings. She had to be that way with the degree of sensitivity of those boys. They would really appreciate me saying that, huh? Well, like I said before-when asked how Sonny, John-Jim-Daniel are doing it is so hard for me to know. I can say that there is a somber atmosphere here but I can guarantee that the moment things get too somber or serious, Sonny will say something so funny that we all can't help but laugh. He and John do that all the time. Thanks. Thanks to my friends who dropped what they were doing and drove or flew here or just thought about us from wherever they remain. Thanks to those who stopped to see Conner and those who sent flowers, those who sent money-to the memorials or to us, thanks to those who called or sent cards or plants. Of course we want to thank you individually but for now know we do appreciate all the love that Connie generated. I can't say anymore. I now have to go cheer up by kissing my sweet yet spoiled 22 month old angel baby on the lips. He kisses me, you know! I say, kiss mommy!, and he puckers the best he can. He's the best! Big, innocent smiles like all is right with the world as long as he is okay and at home... I will go back and kiss his soft cheeks and tell him to tell his guardian angel I said, hello.
CommentsWe're spending the night with Sonny tonight. I told him he'd probably prefer to be alone after he gets a night of us. We all ate at Sonny's tonight. Conner was super cute earlier when he wanted to go for a ride and he said, "ri-ri-ri." I would have never known what he was saying except John had asked me-in front of Conner-if I wanted to take him on a ride in the van. He has said, "ra-ra-ra" before and didn't know what he was saying. But now I do. Gotta go!
CommentsAt Sonny's again tonight. Conner's doing well. We talked today. He is so cute. I said, "i-i-i-i-i" and he said, "i-i-i-i" and I said, "aaaabbbeeee" and he said, "abba." I guess that consitutes a conversation. hmmmm. We read, too, but he wouldn't let me change books, uh-uh...uh-uh (no) over and over until I read, Rolie Polie Olie again and again. We are all sticking fairly close to one another so that helps but there are gaps in the day that are filled with lots sadness for those closest to Connie.
CommentsHey Betsey, I'm worried about the meeting. I hope it goes well. Please let me know if you want me to come. Let me know what happens.
CommentsThanks Deborah. Its funny. You're worried. I don't think I should be worried about anything. You are welcome to come over in the morning. You must be doing your job if I am not thinking about it. No, I think that's the problem with John and me. We think any service we get is better than nothing but I know from your point of view, we should have more done than "just anything." I don't care about anything except Conner getting what he NEEDS and what is best for him whether that is the best equipment, the best care from me or anyone. I have the "I'll just do everything myself" mentality but that isn't always what's best. I have definately learned how to accept help. I have learned that I can't do everything. I get overwhelmed and depressed because taking care of Conner is too much for one person (two people). It is really a business. And I don't feel like a CEO right now. I feel more like the emotionally wounded, psycho mailboy (uh, I'm not really psycho though). Accepting your help Deborah has been great and I appreciate your asserting Conner's needs when I am too overwhelmed or ignorant to know when to do so. Speaking of the king of our house and his granddaddy's, Conner had a regular kind of day. He woke up, had treatment, got bathed, got dressed, watched videos, fell asleep to music and ball of light, woke up, moved to den, visited with baby Jim,Daddy,Mommy, Granddaddy, Uncle Jim, Aunt Julie and Uncle Daniel and Miss Jane (Yawn) while watching videos and singing and talking, talked to Grammy twice on the phone, had treatment, watched the rest of Babe while Mommy rubbed baby, listened to music and watched light and fell asleep. Exciting day, huh? That is a regular day with suctioning and inexsufflating in between and intertwined in all the activities. This is quite typical. Not too bad when the baby doesn't turn blue. I hated today. I am glad it is over. I laughed and I relaxed a little bit but not really. Some days I just get tired of EVERYTHING! Today was one of those days. I just felt like I couldn't think about doing one more thing but of course what choice do I have? If I can look forward to something, anything, it makes the day easier. I may go to my brother's Sat in Loganville. That would be something to look forward to but I don't like to say good-bye to Conner. It makes me nervous. John is the only one who can make me feel better about going and I don't know if he can do that. We'll see. I wish I could take Conner with me but he just has such a hard time. It just invites blue episodes. Anyway, enough about problems. UHHH! I hate problems. I wish I were normal with no problems. I don't invite problems, I don't think. I try to live without them if possible. I just want a simple life without all the involvement in complicated issues and feelings. I simplify and simplify only to have uncontrollable things mess up my life. At least I have my sweet, precious baby to remind me to just live and smile because each day is precious. So!, I will smile for you now and go on to sleep. Sweet dreams. Oh, I found a good easy read, escape book. It is the writer who names her books by the alphabet. Nigh-nigh, as Conner says.
CommentsGot this in my email today: Dear Friends and Supporters of Families of Spinal Muscular Atrophy - There is more good news in research into SMA. Scientists at the University of Pennsylvania have found evidence in cell cultures that 2 vitamins may lessen some of effects of SMA. These 2 vitamins are B12 and Folic Acid. These tests were done in the lab in cell lines and have not been tested yet in humans. Researchers emphasize that this is not a cure for SMA, but it may help. Further investigations will proceed very soon. The entire press release and a discussion of the implications of these findings (as well as other research news) can be found on our web site: http://www.fsma.org Thank you for your support! Together, we will find a cure! Audrey Lewis Executive Director, FSMA mailto:audrey@fsma.org I thought that was important to share, especially for anyone who has made any donations to the SMA charity in Richmond Hill or fsma. They really are making advances that can help Conner. Maria, thank you and Debbie, Payton's mom, for being such SMA advocates there in South Florida. You have raised a lot of money already and I know your event will be a success. I can't tell you how important all your worrying about this thing is to us. The more money-the more research. And you all have raised a significant amount already. If anyone out there prays for a miracle it will come in the form of a research breakthrough. And that comes from $$$$ donated to the sma charities. I am not a salesperson, just desperate. Too bad I am already resigned to the fact that Conner will probably not live to see a cure when a cure is so close. I just don't know. I don't know what to think about it. Sometimes I think that if I do a really great job and keep Conner alive until he is about 6 or 7, he may see a cure. So much can happen in just a few years. However, the thought of how much could happen with Conner to keep him alive that long makes me want to throw up. The thought of him being intubated in the hospital begging the nurse to please give him morphine before I have to leave for the changing of the shifts makes me want to vomit. Seeing a desperate, pleading look on his face to take him home while he has tubes and wires crossing his skin and bones makes me want to vomit. I just don't believe that putting Conner through what it would take to keep him "alive" is worth the suffering he has to do to keep him alive. Its a tough question. Would you suffer tremedously for two days to live possibly a week or five years longer? I can't answer that. I do believe in God and I do believe that those difficult questions will be answered for me when the time comes. However, there are decisions that WE make that guide Conner's future regarding suffering. I am willing to let him go early so he never has to suffer again rather than have him here for me longer. The reason I got off on this tangent is because of watching Connie suffer. I don't want Conner to die a drawn out death, weak and hardly there-ravaged by the effects of this disease. I'd rather he die with as little suffering under his belt as possible. Please, I hope no one misunderstands me and thinks that I am making any judgments about decisions others make regarding their children. Each child and situation is so different. If anyone could come live with us and go through with CONNER and his degree of weakness I really think the consensus would be the same. Each child and family and decision about that child's future is so very different and I understand that. This is just our decision based on our pasts and feelings and Conner's past and his current condition. Thanks, talk later! OH!!!!! Conner's day! He had a good day. He slept late, had Tara and her grandmother came to visit and cousins Dorothy, Will and Hannah. That was great. Thanks for reading to Conner-Tara, Dorothy and Hannah. We enjoyed all our visits today! Conner is now watching Babe and talking. Talk soon, Betsey
CommentsHi Conner Grammy is thinking of you and loving you today as always. I can't call you because it's only 7:30AM and Mommy doesn't allow Grammy to call this early. I bet Irene is there, but you're all sleeping, and resting up for the long day ahead. I think you might have a day trip planned today. A "little birdy" told me that it's Uncle Daniel's birthday celebration day. I know that celebrating is hard right now, but we must all remember what a great "celebrator" Connie was. She loved life and her family and wanted to do special things for them and keep them together in love and happiness. So you guys pay her a great tribute and go and celebrate and laugh alot, because it's what she would want and she'll be watching! Happy birthday, Daniel...we love you
CommentsHey Betsey Conner is in the clinic on the 13th. I didn't want to call again. If there is anything else let me know! Love bunches, Deborah
CommentsWe had a great birthday with Daniel and family (Connie there in spirit) at Ruby Tuesday. We did presents and cake there and took pictures. Conner stayed home with a babysitter (a super specialized nurse babysitter-Hope and her precious newborn baby girl, Alaina). Julie had to leave with baby Jim before the present opening but we know how that goes. I couldn't help but laugh when Jim would yell out because it was so normal and I think normal is just beautiful and wonderful. I would love to take Conner to a restaurant and have him yell so loud that he disturbed others and had to take him home. That would be GREAT! Anyway, I really don't sit around and compare as often I mention it here. Just a fleeting thought for now. I am about to get dressed and go to my brother's. I will lay out in the sun by his pool, visit with friends, eat good food (Billy likes to cook) and have a beer! Sounds like a really fun time. We have Irene-Conner's nurse, Conner's doing fine (talking in his sleep this morning!) and John is nicely sleeping. So, I shall go!
CommentsHey Betsy, John, and Conner, I have been thinking about all of you and of course, all of the Riggs family, but I figured yall would be so overwhelmed with visitors, guest, etc.. but now I am here to check on you guys and see if you need anything at all!!! Betsy, I hope you got to enjoy you day at your brothers. You deserve a break!! Call me if I can do anything for you and your family. Amanda
CommentsDear Sweet Betsey, You are such a good Mother. Don't ever doubt yourself. I send throught you, a great big hug and kiss to the "Prince of the Manor", Prince Conner. He's so cute. And how he has grown!!! Those long legs are almost over the end of the wagon. I hope you are well and did get some rest at your brothers. Remember you need to be pampered sometimes also.. Take care. Much love to all. Miss Lucie
CommentsConner how are you feeling today? How are we doing. I want to go back to my house. I know how to write my homework. Now that's unusual. I went to Disney World. I saw Pochahontas, I saw Ariel, Sebastian and the fish and beauty and th beast and um I want to say I saw the Jungle Book. I saw Aunt Betsey yesterday. Goodbye. I love you, Conner.
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CommentsI think Abby did a better job than I did. The dictation was taken by grammy, but delivered by Abby. As you can tell, she gets a little distracted as she talks. Conner, grammy loves you and misses you very much, but I have to go be a "power puff" girl right now, so we'll chat later. Hope you like your little Babe pig that mommy brought to you.
CommentsI love you Abby! Conner loves you. We practice saying Abby all the time. We also say little prayers for our friends and family that need little prayers. We aren't the only ones going through tough times. I enjoyed taking a nap with my quiet, introspective nephew Drew Sunday afternoon. And rubbing my feisty, "not going down without a fight" niece Abby's head and hair. And hugging my artistic, sensitive niece, Lauren. I missed my mommy loving Conner, though. We are going to get his x-ray today on his shoulder. I hope its okay. We'll see. We just never know with Conner. Oh, how we love him. I had a great time at Billy's! Fun, fun. And now I am home trying to take care of business. So, I am off to take care of business.
CommentsWell, I wish I could yell that I hate SMA but it would be like yelling that I hate the color of Conner's hair or something. Its such a part of him that I feel obligated to love this wretched disease as much as his golden brown hair. But I don't. I hate SMA!!!!!!! I hate that Conner's genes are flawed. I hate that I passed on a flawed gene to my son. I hate that Conner has to suffer just to take a bath. I hate that I have to watch him suffer and suffocate and flop around just to do the most simple tasks. I hate it and it makes me so angry that my son, MY SON!!!!! has to suffer and there is not one thing that I can do about it but watch it happen. I have to watch him suffocate and just hope that all the machines in our house will save him for just a little while longer. Or just call an ambulance and have them shove a tube down his throat. I don't think so. I hate that I can't pick him up and soothe him. I hate SMA. I hate it, hate it, hate it!!!!!!!!! One thing about it though is that it isn't the result of evil. What I mean is that with my dad's death, being gunned down in the Bahamas-that was evil. A genetic disease just IS. It just happened. Nobody did it. There is no one to blame. It just IS. But the result of this invisible, genetic mess up is huge. It is so bad for his little body. I also hate the terrible, uncontrollable things that are going to happen to others who I know.
Okay, enough negativity but I can't help but get very angry sometimes. Anyone who has to watch her child suffer gets angry from time to time. There is no cure for the anger except!!! smiles from Conner. I love to get his precious smiles. I love to see him smile and say, "uh-huh," when I ask him if he wants a sticker for being good. I love to watch and hear him laugh when I kiss his round, tiny belly. I love to watch his eyes light up when his daddy walks in and hear him call, "DADA," when John leaves. I love to snuggle up to Conner and kiss his soft cheeks. I love, love, love him!!! He is so precious. I love to hear him sing when music is playing. I love it when he tells me, "no," like a typical two year old. I love to plan fun things for Conner and watch him enjoy them. Okay, I have vented. Now I must go. Conner is going to the doctor today to get checked in his ears, throat, lungs, etc. I need to go get ready and take him. It is quite an ordeal but hopefully he will do okay. We got stuck in the bath tub last night. John had run to the store and I was going to "just bathe him real quickly." He got a clog and I had to bag him until John got back and was able to get me the inexsufflator and that still didn't get it. We finally got a break and managed to get him to his room where we got him calm and clear. BUT he never turned blue because I managed to keep getting O2 to him the whole time. That incident was what made me so angry last night. No baby should have to go through that. But he got his bath today and he did great and he got a sticker and he smiled. Great!
CommentsConner went to see Dr. Deal today and everything is just fine. Lungs, shoulder, throat, ears-all is fine. I need to do something more with his diet though. I am just so paranoid about giving him too much food because he does weird things when I do. But I have changed his eating schedule so maybe we can fit a little more in until the Dr. helps me figure out a more suitable diet. We are switching his formula to Vivonex soon and we'll see how that does. He's done fine on it before-but only when I diluted it. Anyway, that's just another whole source of worry that we'll get worked out. Another source is stupid bills and letters from the hospitals or collection agency. We have insurance and medicaid which is supposed to cover most everything and East Ga. keeps billing our old insurance. And then I found out today that a check from the insurance company was lost by the hospital or somebody and the account was turned over to a collection agency! And Memorial sent a threatening letter but everytime I call our account is balanced out at 0. When I called today I found out the old insurance company had just paid the bill this month for something over a year ago. Why didn't this show up all the other times I have called?!!! This kind of stuff happens all the time. There is always some mix up that causes so much stress until it can get worked out. In the meantime, what does that bill sent to the collection agency do to our credit? Our credit is probably messed up anyway because of all the other mistakes that have been made. Do I sound like a complainer or what? Who likes a complainer? Not me. So, I will not complain anymore-TODAY. We have a nurse, thank goodness, and Conner is going fast to sleep. He did very well tonight and is such a sweetie. Sorry he was so tired for you today Belinda. Next time, we will try to make sure he gets his nap before you come instead of him trying to nap while you are here. We appreciate you so much. He looked cute with all his "good job" stickers today. After speech therapy, he had one sticker for doing good this morning and not whining during transitional things, one big sticker covering his entire hand for being a big boy at the doctor's office and a sticker on his shirt for doing a good job in therapy. I had to soak his hands in warm soapy water to get them off. Update more later. I hope Miss Lucie and Mandi are enjoying their vacation!
CommentsHi Betsey, John and Conner! I hope you are all doing well. I was so thrilled to see Conner had a good check-up. I checked in tonight just to see if you told us about his doctor visit and you did. I really enjoy checking in and seeing how you are. Betsey you really are very good at journaling, it is such a nice way to stay in touch. I can understand your frustration with insurance, collection, hospitals, etc. I wish there was a way someone else could handle all that for you and you did not have to mess with it. I can imagine it feels like such a waste of precious time to argue with someone about who is paying what to whom and where and when etc. It seems like people who work in those jobs really do not care about any other circumstances. Sounds like Daniel had a good birthday. I am glad. When I read about you wishing Conner could go to a restaurant and yell until he disturbed everybody, I almost cried. I felt like such a creep because I get so frustrated with Steele in similar situations and I should not. Thank you for putting things into perspective for me. I also wanted to tell you that when you talk about the situation you and John are faced with Conner and you try to explain your feelings about not wanting him to suffer or experience pain, I think that is so admirable. I think you think people are thinking you should do something different but I don't think they do. People admire your courage and strength. You have taught people truly valuable lessons this past year and a half. I wish so much that you did not have to go through this and I wish Conner did not either. Who knows maybe you will help save many lives down the road and change the fate of SMA. For what it is worth I hate SMA too! Conner is so precious and so special to so many of us. He has touched so many people in numerous ways. He truly is a blessing Betsey and he is so fortunate to have you as a Mom. We are coming home in June and going to the beach June 16-23. I would love for you to take a day or even a half a day and come visit and relax. I don't know if you could arrange for anyone to take care of Conner or if you would feel comfortable leaving him, but if you could and do I would love for you just to come and let me wait on you hand and foot. I would be honored to do it! Anyway, I'll call you about it but if you feel like getting away for a little relaxation during that week, we would love to have you! I better go for now. It was great to see you and Conner, Madison has talked about Conner so much. I wondered how she would react to him, and if she would understand the situation. She kept telling me and Jeff on the way to the airport how adorable he was. She said "Mom, I know you said he was sick, but he was just the cutest thing I had ever seen." She said, "I just wanted to kiss him all over his face." She thought it was really cool that he tried to smile at her and that he was watching Babe. She has told lots of her friends about him and told me she wanted to visit him again the next time we went home. He really made a big impression on her. Give him a big hug and kiss and tell him his friends in Texas think he is the best. Love you all - and keeping you in our thoughts and prayers! The Petty's
CommentsThanks Robyn. I don't know what to say but, Thanks Robyn. I don't feel worthy! I suppose we all have some admirable qualities. I feel embarrassed when I think of my not-so-admirable "qualities." We all have those, too, huh? Robyn, you've made a tempting offer. I'll just have to see about that! Madison is so sweet. What a sensitive child she is. I hope she tells all her friends that Conner has SMA so their parents will be aware of the disease. More awareness means more funding. More awareness also means that babies get diagnosed before they die for reasons the parents may never end up knowing. I can't imagine a child with sma dying before being diagnosed and the parent taking that responsibility for the child choking or suffocating to death. Who knows how many SIDS cases could have been sma babies, undiagnosed who get stuck in the night and smother? Anyway, Madison is doing good! She is taking after her Mommy (and Daddy). Conner has had a really great day. He enjoyed his morning with Irene. During his treatment we received a pleasant, unexpected visitor, Mrs. Terri Wynn. She was doing some business and happened upon us. Of course, I invited her in to see Conner since she knew the family. Very nice. I wish Conner wasn't in the process of getting inexsufflated so he could have smiled at her. But he cried! We next had Jennifer (occupational therapist) and later Tara and Jenna. Tara, Jenna and I took Conner down to the pond in the neighborhood. We put him in the van and took some of his equipment and drove down the street with the van opened. We then put him on a blanket on the grass and threw crackers and potato chips and the ducks came running, waddling as fast as they could. They were swarming all around Conner (and Tara and Jenna). They scared you Tara and you know it. So, you can imagine that Conner was probably terrified but he wasn't going anywhere nor was he crying. He just looked stunned. He wouldn't smile or cry-just a blank look. I am thinking he was wanting to fight or flight but could do neither...so he froze. I think that should be added-flight, fight, or freeze. I did that one time when someone tried to break into my apt. in the middle of the night. I heard the door and I was so scared I absolutely froze for what seemed like an eternity. I hoped I would have either fought or ran, but I froze! Anyway, Granddaddy came to visit later along with Uncle Daniel. So, he had a bunch of visitors and lots of excitement. It was a good day. I knew one would come soon. They always do.
CommentsConner had an okay day. He stayed red cheeked and on the bipap a little more. I think his tummy hurt which made everything harder to handle. He got a really good massage (and medicines) from Mommy and later from his night nurse so I know that helped everything. He's fine though. Conner is so sad though that cousin Mattie had an accident and she isn't feeling well. We love you Mattie and hope you feel better very soon. Conner knows how hard it is to be in the hospital and we do, too. love, love, love We are hoping to get to go to a party tomorrow night-John and me at the same time!!! I just have to line up nurses/babysitters. Sonny does a pretty good job. He's an excellent Granddaddy and a pretty good babysitter, he just needs a little nurse support. Sonny spoils Conner rotten. "Betsey, put him another video on! He doesn't need to go to sleep. Put that little boy another show on!" Actually, he calls him "lutu boy." We are going to spend the weekend over at Sonny's. I want to lay out in the pool! Conner usually takes a pretty good nap from about 2-4 usually. That's seems like a great time to lounge in the pool. And cook out!!!! I better go to sleep if I want to do all this stuff tomorrow. We are thinking of all of you tonight who need us, too. I'll have to post up the prayer that Conner says. Its in a book back in his room. You didn't know that Conner says a prayer back to all of you, did you?
CommentsI hate SMA, too! And I totally understand how it is to hate the "things" and circumstances that hurt your children and grandchildren. That's why I also hate drugs and alcohol...and I know it's sometimes irrational, especially with alcohol. A glass of wine should be o.k. but it's hard to enjoy something that has almost destroyed your child. And I also LOVE Conner. Poor little guy being swarmed by ducks and worst the old geese. Maybe he just thought they were the ducks from Babe and was delighted. Betsey, you never told me about the person trying to break into your apartment...you know I would have insisted you come straight home...not really. You have been independent for so long, but make no mistake you are still my little baby. I hear you trying to be angry, yet so afraid of being offensive, always wanting and needing approval. You have gained confidence in yourself since you have lived away from home and even more so since you had Conner, but, deep inside that little girl doesn't want to be disapproved of. Honey, you can't do wrong where Conner is concerned. I wish I could make everything perfect for you...and Conner and all those others we love, but sometimes all we can do is accept. It's very hard not to be able to control our destiny in every aspect. But in the things that you can control, you do a great job. I can't tell you too often how proud I am of you. Give my love to Sonny, the boys, and MaMa. I miss them and will go down soon to see you guys.
CommentsConner has had another rough morning. He just has so much stuff to clear. Last night wasn't that great either. Its just episode after episode. We did enjoy our day yesterday laying out by the pool and cooking out last night here at Sonny's. John decided not to go the party, so Daniel and I went but not until really late. By the time we got Conner situated and ready, the night was gone. BUT I was determined to get out! So, that's the way it goes. Conner is napping nicely now. If he can stay clear this afternoon, maybe we can get him out by the pool for a little bit. Hopefully! Oh, and by the way-Conner is very precious.
CommentsMy Dear Betsey, Yes, we are back. I wish there was some way we could have transported all of you'all to the beach with us. How about a magic carpet? Yes, that would work. It seems from what I have just read, you have had a rough few days. I'm so very sorry. Conner is so sweet and I also hate the condition he is dealing with. But--don't you just love all that great sugar he gives you. Those smiles-those snuggles, and those no's. Such a wonderful young man. Keep your head up. You're doing a great job. And remember, WE love you ever so much.. Miss Lucie
CommentsI can't help but laugh about the attempted break in. I vividly remember that night. I remember you busting into my room screaming about how you were frozen. I know it's really not funny. However, since nothing bad happened, I can look back and laugh about your panic. What good times we had in that little apartment!!!
CommentsHere's wishing Conner, Mommy and all the Riggs a good, peaceful, sunshiny day. I'm off to knock on doors and try to sell some "air"...what a concept. Hope my little buddy is happy today and does lots of smiling. Alison, shame on you for not telling me about the "almost intrusion". You know, I think that happened to me when I first moved to Atlanta, but it turned out to be the Emory student accross the hall coming in drunk and forgetting where he lived. Oh for the simpler times! Love to my baby and her baby.
CommentsBetsey- Hey! I haven't called in a while. Actually- I have moved to Jekell Island (I can't spell)for the summer. I still read the journal two or three times a week. I'm home normally once or twice a week and so I hope to come by and visit. I'd like to send Conner a little package, what size shirt does he wear?? ANyway- I am amazed daily by ya'lls strength and love. Conner has a very special place in my heart and be sure you tell him that for me, please. LET me know if you or/and John could ever arrange a day to visit the island for the day I can get ya'll free passes to Summer Waves.(just a thought) I wish you lots of silly moments with Conner!
CommentsFirst, Mandi and Miss Lucie-thanks for my wonderful and supportive emails. I am glad you had a nice trip. I wish I could have been with you with my mommy. The four of us would be trouble. Conner's day today was a bit better than yesterday. His ear is draining again and he ran a little fever today. Since I know the problem we can now take care of it. He has had rough mornings for a while but now he is just gagging on spit in his throat as opposed to plugs in the lungs. Neither is good. If he's uncomfortable, we just do his treatment with his bipap on (until inexsuffl.) then put the bipap back on. He's worn it pretty much all day yesterday and today. We were able to keep him off of it last night long enough to get a good bath and have him smelling like a sweet flower with the Mary Kay lotion you gave us Robyn. He got such a good massage last night after the bath and after his nap this afternoon. As long as he is on the bipap, he doesn't suffer, so on it goes. Meredith, I love Summer Waves. I went there with a group of foster kids one summer when I did a camp in St. Simon. We stayed at Epworth and I didn't like to drink the water or HiC because of the salty taste. You can imagine what happened when we went to Summer Waves and I sweated and sweated then climbed the "Pirate's Passage" with a sweet blonde haired foster child named Kelly. Kelly was so excited to ride and I had volunteered to make the strenuous climb with her. We got half way up and I passed out on this guy behind me and his girlfriend got mad at me. He got me help while she stood there with her arms crossed. HOW EMBARASSING!!!! I had dehydrated. Kelly asked if I was okay and I insisted she go on down the slide. Actually she didn't miss a beat-"I'm going on, okay Miss Betsey?" Sure Kelly. Anyway, the worst part was that I was in the most unflattering bathing suit. Kelly had made sure to tell me on the way up the long climb up that she preferred the suit I had worn the day before. But I do enjoy the place and I would love to go back, Meredith.
CommentsAlison, remember when Eric and Jimmy would come over and steal Toonces by opening the door with the chain lock still on and squeezing him through the small amount of space? That'd get me everytime. "Have you seen Toonces? Where could he be?" Remember when we dressed up in rocknroll eighties clothes and big hair went to the store? Or was that just me? Anyway, I like a good laugh. Remember when I ate dirt when I flew off the bar on the playground trying to impress the 7th?8th? grade boyfriends? Of course you do. I know. Okay, its over. No more remembers whens....for now. Conner finally went to sleep. I got to visit with cousin Mattie. But she was sleeping which is the best way to be when you are in the hospital. I know she is uncomfortable but if she can just hang on 'til she gets home. She broke her little leg, poor thing...But since she will be immobile, Jennifer and I have decided to get Conner and Mattie together for videos and books and fun. She and Conner can vent about their immobility. Conner was funny today. He wouldn't let me put anything on but Elmo. Irene tried to put on Babe, but he cried. I asked if he wanted to go out, "uh-uh (no)." Later? NO. Elmo, "uh-huh (yes)." Over and over. He has his preferences which he makes known. I'm tired. Good night.
CommentsOh... I could go on and on for hours about our remember whens... What I remember most about Toonces is how freaked out he got when anyone even spelled the word "bath". That big hair at the store thing wasn't just you. I was right there with you. Was that the same time we were laying out on the patio with fans on us listening to 80's music and Chris walked in and caught us doing dance routines in our bikinis...or was that a separate incident? Ha Ha... laughing out loud, you KNOW I remember when you bounced on your face and ate dirt. That is one of my favorites... courtesy of skin tight Gloria Vanderbilts.
CommentsHey Betsey, Is the nursing situation still ok? Let me know if there is a problem. Love, Deborah
CommentsHey there, I haven't talked with you in a while and wanted to send out a hug and a great big hello. You are in my thoughts and prayers and will stay there. Marlee is finally out of school and we are going to be gone for a couple of days. Hope to see you when we get back. Give Conner some sugar for me. Love, Marsha :o)
CommentsWell Betsey, as usual, when I try to write you on this goofy gadget tehy call a computer, I usually mess up and I did. I E-mailed you about a 20 minute babbling letter and instead of hitting submit, Ihit enter about 3 times and then I saw the "submit Comments" Too late, it was gone. You're probably bless that it was lost, I was getting all strung out. So, quickly and shortly, about the bills collectors from the hospitals or where ever that are hassling you, please let me take care of that for you. Mark's Uncle passed away today, so I'm going to be out of pocket until probably Friday, but call me orfax me copies of letters or bills orwhatever that I can help get cleared up for you. PLEASE let me releive some of your stress and let me work on stressing them. HAHAHA. Seriously, I can do that and I want to do that for you. Don't you make me call you, now, you better call me. Also, I will be out of the office next Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday and back in Candler office on Thursday, so I still am employed, I'b just going to be out a few days. Also on a lighter note, I read your entry about Summer Waves. Yes I remember that day. Tell me again why you were dehydrated????? That was the same day that little 12 year old black boy "cussed me out" so well. I have never been cussed out any better by anyone, before or since then. Wonder where they all are now, and what kind of lives the world has dealt them now that they are adults. I remember all the boys just loved Ms. Betsey cause she was so cute and you looked about their same age. That was two fun years. I have some pictures of you andthose kids that I ran across a while back, so if Inever gave you copies, let me know and I'll give you these. Seems like yesterday. I remember I cried when I left home that Sunday to be there for a week and away from my family for a week, andthen I cried when all those kids got on the bus that day to go back to their homes. I begged Mark for us to adopt that on little boy. I hope life is better for them all now. May be so. Well, I won't get as long winded as before and hopefully you are reading this now and it;s not lost like the other out in cyberspace somewhere, wherever that is........outside of Hopulikit, GA I think. Tired and silly, so give all you guys a big hug and a kiss and tell Conner that his "Secret Admirer from Metter" checked in again today. I;ll be waiting for you to call me or just fax me those "problem bills" you are having. Take care of all of you all. You know I love ya girl, always have, ever since the day of DFACS and the FatMan!!!!! Hahahaha!!! See Ya.
CommentsTerri Bland, you are so silly!!!! what would I have done without your company those days? You made it fun! Conner definately has an ear infection and is getting his proper medication. He was a bit of work today, but with help its manageable. We got to go outside by the pool for a little bit and we threw water. We made water designs in the air. We had a nice visit from Marsha, Marlee and Jake. Conner enjoyed your visit, Marsha. Wanna know how I know? There was a little girl on this video of Conner's who looks like Marlee. When she appeared on the screen Conner smiled real big. He smiled so big, it made me laugh. I looked at the tv and saw a pretty little girl with long blonde hair smiling at the camera. Is he a flirt or what? He gets cuter every day. I don't want to curse it but I think we are going to get to see a horse and a baby horse. Kelly, Conner's old (as in "previous") nurse, has a horse and a baby horse. So....we have made tentative plans. Neato. Terri-sorry to hear about Mark's uncle. I got the bill thing straight. Do you think you could handle People magazine and their insistence on sending me books that I don't have the time to send back then billing me for them? Just kidding-I got that handled, too. Anyway, I'm tired. Some days are just...more....hard...tiring than others. That's something we can all empathize with. We are thinking of our friends and family who need us to-Mr. Brooks, Mattie (Jack&Jennifer), uncles, aunts, brothers, granddaddies and grandmommies.
CommentsBetsey, you take advantage of these great friends you have who can help you with bills, nursing, etc. I know they are all sincere in their offers and you just can't do it all. Sadly, there is only limited time in a day and not much of it is left for you to rest and play, and those things are important, too. Memories are wonderful and you are building them now, believe it or not. There's not much to laugh about now, however, so thinking about the silly times helps. But, Sweetie,eventhough your situation is pretty somber right now, you're still the same silly, fun person you've always been and that's what makes Conner's life fun. Just remember, it's o.k. to be happy and it's o.k. to be funny. God knows you get business taken care of. I hope you and my little buddy have a good "fun" and healthy day...a day at a time. Mommy loves you.
CommentsBetsy - I'm sorry about Conner's ear infection and hope that he feels better soon. Those are NEVER fun and with his complications I'm sure it's much worse. Poor baby! We'll reschedule our official girls lunch out but I'll bring by lunch at noon just to visit. I'm also still willing to write nasty letters to insurance companies and help with bills if you need me. Additionally, we have 6 horses and a very mean (but cute) little pony that Conner can come see anytime. Please let me know - the horses are in our backyard so anytime is convenient. A few are very gentle and we could probably arrange it so Conner could be boosted up to get to pet and touch one. Unfortunately we have no colts at the moment!!! (that would be all I need) My bible study group prays for all of y'all every week and we said special prayers yesterday. I hope this week gets better and there are some rainbows! Much Love, Laura
CommentsSpeaking of remember-whens- what about PECKING!!!! That has to be in the top-10 list of Betsey's funniest moments. I know it still makes me laugh to tears. WE RAISED OVER $40,000.00 FOR FAMILIES OF SMA AT THE EVENT ON SATURDAY!!!!! I was so excited when I had the final total. I hope that this will help to find a cure. We are already talking about the 2nd Annual "Say G'day to fight SMA" event for next year. I met so many wonderful people who are involved with FSMA. There is a new chapter in Tampa and the president (a wonderful, very helpful), Leo Diaz and his wife drove all the way down for the event. We also had volunteers who had family members with SMA who helped out tremendously, not to mention Debbie and her entire family. I was very proud to point out Conner in the video to all my friends and family who attended. Everyone said he was "beautiful"- but we all already know that. Unfortunately, Doug forgot the camera so I don't have pictures. But it was worth all the work and I look forward to the opportunity again next year. Please give Conner a big sloppy kiss from Auntie Reea. I can't wait to give him one myself next month at a very big boy's birthday ;o)!!! Love to all, Maria
CommentsDearest Betsey! My very first time writing to you through your journal. I read it every day and keep up with everything but I've never written so today I decided for some reason that I would. I miss you all so much and I'm so sorry to hear about Conner's bad days. He's the most precious little boy and he deserves a simpler life. You all do. And for you to get upset and yell and say that you hate SMA. Why shouldn't you hate it? Of course you should. We love all of you and we miss you a lot. Give Conner a big kiss from his cousin. Kevin and Kasey send their love to Conner. You're an inspiration to all mothers Betsey. Don't ever forget that.
CommentsHi John, Betsy, and Conner! I have been thinking about you guys and thought it would be nice to let yall know it!! I am sorry I have not emailed or called lately. I am adjusting to summer and trying to come up with a schedule to keep Jarrett and Malory busy this summer. They are not used to me being home!!I hope Conner's ear gets better soon. Those ear infections are not fun. How about some food? My family would love to fix you and Mr.Sonnie some supper one night. My dad has a lot of vegetables ready in the garden, so let me know when yall have a free night and we will bring you some food. Betsy, hang in there and never doubt your strength and courage. You have proven to have more than I feel like I could in a life time. You are a great mama and John is very lucky to have you and Conner!!! Hang in there and let me know if I can do anything. I am always in Walmart and would be glad to shop for you!! Love, Amanda
CommentsThanks Laura for bringing me lunch-well lunching with me too-and doing a grocery store run. I am always trying to get a hold of Daniel during the day for those tasks. That's probably why he said he would have done it when he found out you went. But he needs a break, too! We have no nurse tonight. All sick. I do understand and hope they get well. Deborah, the answer to the question that you are asking either out loud or in your head is, yes. I did. Not available either. What do you do? They called three nurses and they were all sick. And one of our favorites quit. So....I'm up for the night. But you know, from my perspective that's the dues I pay for having a sick child. Boy, that doesn't make sense but I feel it. Maybe I feel like I owe Conner my attention since he's sick even if it makes me really tired. I know a lot of sma parents who are out there in much worse conditions than us. And maybe I feel guilty for that. Who knows why I think what I think or feel? Anyway, Kim Lamb and her kids came over and swam in the pool today. Jacob(6) and I had a great time playing on the floats. They are really cute. We cooked a frozen casserole for supper that someone had brought during the time of the funeral and I made a blackberry cobbler with some blackberries Ms. Beverly Proctor brought over. I made Irene one, too. I hope she likes it! Conner did okay but he was really tired tonight and did me a favor by going to bed before ten. Yay Conner. He talked to his Grammy on the phone today for a long time. When I say talked-I mean he told her all kinds of things. Over and over. His ear is still draining but he sounds pretty good right now as he is sleeping so hopefully it'll be an uneventful night. We're doing fine here though. We're surviving. I am, I know.
CommentsI didn't see all those messages before I wrote for some reason. I just got a blank thing. Anyway, Maria I am so proud of all the work you did. That is a large amount of money and is significant to finding a cure. Very significant. I really take this personally. I am proud of your work and involvement. What a friend to me and Debbie and Payton. What a shame that you know two families with sma1 kids. (but a blessing,too) Amanda, we like food! We'll let you know. It really does help. I made tacos last night and over here at Sonny's, it is tough. It's tough to do food and take care of Conner. The phone rings twice as much because we forwarded our calls and because Conner's been sick. But, food is good. I'll let you know. We'll probably get through the rest of this week and weekend fine but next week or so would be good. I can't tell you how helpful that is. Karen, we enjoyed visiting with you, Mark and the boys. I always like to see other kids around Conner and vice versa. I never had a family member that had any disabilities (very weird to think Conner is disabled). I never knew anyone who couldn't walk or talk or move. There was a girl named Vicki who was in school with me when I was in the first through the third grades-mom, you may remember. She drooled and her mouth and hands were deformed. The kids acted like she was a monster. "The girl who ate crayons." She was biracial as well which didn't help the amount of teasing back then. With all that, Vicki had a sense of humor. When I saw her saying, "boo!" to some kids one day, I remember thinking, "She's kinda funny!" She knew what the kids thought but she talked a lot to all the kids and I ended up liking her and being very nice to her, of course. Well, Conner's not like Vicki to me but he may be to other kids who see him for the first time. He may scare them by all the machines or the drooling. I don't know. You know that really doesn't ever enter my mind until kids walk in the room and feel hesistant to go up to Conner. But as they get more comfortable and end up stroking his hair or asking intelligent questions (like your boys Karen) then I feel so proud that they had such a beautiful, little angel to teach them the lesson of being kind to the "different" kids. Conner is great in that capacity. And I am proud of him for that!!!! But I always knew that any child of MINE would be GREAT!!!!! Far beyond my wildest dreams. Absolutely Superb.
CommentsBetsey - after all these years you still continue to amaze me. Your ability to see the good in everything is such a blessing. You help the rest of us really put things into perspective in our own lives. Love ya, Alison PS - Pecking is definitely top 10! I still demonstrate that one quite often. Do you still get as excited about "Panama (Phoenix) City" as you used to?
CommentsHello Betsey, Conner and John! You are so right about my kids learning from Conner. Kasey wants to go on the sight all the time just to look at Conner's pictures and to see if you have posted any new ones. He was very excited when he saw one of Aunt Connie. I know when the boys first saw Conner they were a little nervous and had lots of questions but now-they just want to see him. I try to teach them that not all kids are as fortunate as they are to be able to go outside and play-to be able to have friends come over and play video games or even the simplest things in life that we take for granted like sitting down and having dinner with their family or reading a book or taking breath after breath every day without help from a machine. We all take these things for granted-not meaning to but we do. Conner has taught us all a lesson in this family and he's brought such a joy to my life in such a short time. I'm so far away and I don't get to see any of you very often but after I leave from there-I always drive away crying-sad and happy tears. Sad-because I'm so afraid every time I leave it will be the last time I get to see Conner and happy because I got to spend time with him. I hope he has a great day today and the boys asked me to please tell you to show Conner their pictures today. He has become very important to them. They talk about Aunt Connie a lot and tell me they miss her and ask if she's watching over them. I say-of course she is-she loves us all. She watches over all of us. That's a good feeling! We miss you all and hopefully we'll be up there at the end of the month and then of course to celebrate Conner's big day next month. They know when his b-day is and they can't wait to bring him a present.
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