Jordan's 2nd Birthday - August 9, 1999


It's hard to believe Jordan's been gone for 9 months. I wish I had some words of wisdom, something to share that has helped me survive these past 9 months without him. I don't. You just learn to live with the pain, it becomes part of you. I try not to think of how things "should" have been, what he "should" be doing now, because that would mean God's plan for Jordan's life wasn't perfect. I try to think of him in Heaven, doing all the things he couldn't do here. Yes, I miss him incredibly, I feel like part of me is missing. But I know he's better off where he is now, and it would be selfish of me to want him back here, where he suffered. Today we will celebrate his birth and what we learned from him during his short stay here.

Happy Birthday, Jordan

It's your birthday, and I miss you so.
From my heart, tears still flow.

When I see little toddlers playing,
It's for you that my soul is aching.

I'm sure a birthday in heaven is quite an event,
For it is on that day, we thank God you were sent.

I'm so thankful for the memories of your smile.
You gave us so much, in such a short while.

It's for one birthday that I can not wait,
To be with you, inside heaven's gate.

So happy birthday, my little buddy,
Till we meet again, your earthbound daddy.