Read Letters to Morgan

Our Letters to Morgan...

Date:: January 20, 2009

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you are having a great day, sweetie! I know that you are probably watching over Lisa right now, but I wanted to thank you for doing it. I know that today is going to be hard for her, and I know that if anything or anyone can help her ~ it's YOU! Thank you so much baby girl! I love you and miss you so very much!! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: January 09, 2009

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope you are having a good day, sweetie pie! You have been in my thoughts constantly for the past few weeks, baby girl. And thank you for visiting me in my dreams. I miss you so very much... Well, you know Daddy is starting a new job on Monday, right? I think that he will like it, and really (right now) we should just be happy that he has a job. Zeke fell down the steps at school on Wednesday and had a concussion, but he is better now. Clayton is... well, Clayton. Last night I asked him a question and he told me he couldn't remember. Well, he remembers EVERYTHING (including things that happened before he was born), so I knew he just wasn't trying. So, I offered him a dollar to tell me, and he said, "No, thank you, but I might remember for a million dollars." Hmmm ~ what was I to do? So, I said, "Okay. I'll give you a check for a million dollars." And he said, "That's check fraud!" Only Clayton!! And Jackson is doing well, too. Morgan, I know that you picked him out just for us. We have you to thank for him ~ for everything about him. He is reaching and grabbing for things now, and he is so strong. I hope that it is the medication he's taking, and he wouldn't even be on it if it weren't for you, baby. Thank you so much. I love you, Morgan from the bottom of my heart and I always will ~ you're my BEST girl! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: December 24, 2008

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! Merry Christmas, Baby Girl! I know it's not yet Christmas ~ but I was thinking about you and how you should be here with your brothers ~ hyped up on sugar, with no intentions of going to sleep tonight... I love you so much, sweetie ~ and I miss you each and every day. Please stay close to Lisa this Christmas, and thank you for sending her a rainbow today. I love you so much! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: December 04, 2008

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! Today is my least favorite day of the year, baby girl... I miss you so very much. You know, I still have over 50 unopened e-mails from December 3, 2005 ~ regarding "Urgent prayers for Morgan." I can't read them... yet, and I can't delete them. So they are waiting for me... one day I may be able to. I just can't believe that you are gone, especailly when I still feel so close to you... I am planning on setting up and decorating the hot pink Christmas tree I bought for you today ~ I am hoping that it will remind me of all the wonderful times we had when you were here ~ I just don’t want to think about that awful day three years ago. This morning when Clayton was getting into the car to go to school, I told him to get in on “Morgan’s side.” You are always going to be with us. I keep thinking, “How can it be three years already?” It seems like you were here with us much longer than that ~ which is great!! I think it is because you filled our lives with so much happiness and joy ~ we really had an action packed three years with you!! Morgan, you made such an impact in such a short amount of time ~ with me, our family, and everyone else who knew you. This morning, Lisa sent me a photograph of a silk painting she made in honor of you (for me). It’s a beautiful angel, with all your favorite colors ~ I know that you would love it! And Mr. Bill S. (the wonderful wood carving artist) engraves all of his pieces with the words, “on the wings of a butterfly” for you! You are so special, sweetie bird! Please stay close to Zekie today ~ he misses you so much, and he doesn’t like to talk to me about it. He’s afraid that if he talks to me about you it will make me sad. I love you, baby girl! We all love you SO MUCH, and miss you more than words can say! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: November 27, 2008

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! Happy Thanksgiving baby girl! I hope that you are having a great holiday with Grandpa, Papa, Uncle Hugh, Adam, and Gabe. Yesterday morning I was thinking that I have so much to be thankful for ~ my wonderful family, supportive friends, the kindness of strangers (which Jackson and I saw on our trip), and advances in research. But do you know what? All I could think about yesterday was what I don’t have ~ YOU! I miss your eyes ~ how they dance when you are happy, how they studied people when you were a baby, how they smiled when you were being funny, and how they cried when you were sad. I remembered that when we were in the hospital that March, and you said, “Mommy, I’m crying.” because you were so dehydrated that there were no tears. Yesterday, I said to you, “Morgan, I’m crying.” because I miss you so very much ~ and I’m saying it again today... I know that I should be grateful that you were here with us, but I just ache for you. I miss you more than I ever thought possible, sweetie! I love you so much, Morgan, and please know that you dance through my mind every minute of every day! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: October 29, 2008

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! Happy Birthday (again) baby girl! I hope that you are having a wonderful day, sweetie bird. This morning I was thinking that I can’t believe it has been six years since I first laid eyes on you... since I first heard you cry... since I first held you in my arms. It seems like it was just yesterday, and it seems like it was a lifetime ago. I wonder all the time about what you would be like now if you were here. Oh, I know that you would keep Clayton on his toes ~ and I know that you and Zekie would still be best buddies ~ and I know that you would just love your baby brother. I would just love to see all the other things that you would be interested in now. I would love to see your smile ~ those beautiful dimples ~ that happy, happy little girl! Thank you for being my little girl! I love you so very much, Mo-mo! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: October 29, 2008

Today

Good Morning Morgan~Morgan ~ and happy birthday! I hope you have a wonderful day, baby girl! I love you! XOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: October 18, 2008

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you are doing well, baby girl! Well, you know the big news here is that your baby brother, Jackson Christopher Saville was born October 14, 2008 at 1:50pm. Jackson weighed 8 lbs. 8 oz., and was almost 21 inches long! He looks a lot like you and Clayton and Zekie! He has your fingers, lips, chin and dimples! His head is shaped a lot like Claytons ~ including the Saville nose ~ that you all have! And he is very alert with a lot of expressions like Zekie! Thank you for watching over us, Mo-mo! And please watch over our friend Lisa's baby girl over the next few months ~ she could really use some angel magic! We love you and miss you so very much! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: October 11, 2008

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you are doing well!! I know that you are staying close to us because you are everywhere ~ and I love it!! The other day a gentleman from the company that has been repairing our house called to ask if I would be home at a certain time, and I said yes. Then we were about to hang up, and he said, “Mrs. Saville, could I ask you a question?” and of course, I said, “Sure.” Then he said, “Do you work for this Company (the company where Sissy, and Uncle Billy use to work, and Aunt Betty Anne, and Uncle Chris still do)? And I said, “No. I don’t, but I have family that does.” He said, “Oh, because I use to clean in there at night, and I saw news articles, and pictures of Morgan all over the building.” It was so nice to hear about ~ it made my whole day ~ maybe even my whole week!! I miss you so much, baby girl! I wish that you were here. I know that you would be so excited about having a little brother ~ In fact, I know you are excited ~ I just wish that you were here with us! I love you, sweetie bird! And I miss you so much!!! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: August 29, 2008

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a great day, sweetie! Today is Clayton's 7th birthday ~ but I know you already know that! Thank you for making sure it was a wonderful day for him ~ and for helping me find the perfect surprise yesterday! He was very happy. I miss you, baby girl ~ and I love you so much! XOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: August 19, 2008

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have a wonderful Tuesday today, baby girl! Zekie is in the final few days of summer ~ he only has two days left before he goes back to school. I wish that it had been a better summer for him (and Clayton, too). But hopefully, very soon we will have everything back in order, and they will both have a great school year. I can’t believe that Zekie is in 10th grade! He is so grown up. You would be so proud of him. Mo-mo. I love you, sweetie ~ and I miss you so... XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: August 17, 2008

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you are having a great day, baby girl! Yesterday Daddy and I were working on unpacking some of the boxes we have in the FROG. Well, apparently Daddy did not like my “constructive criticism.” I was only trying to be helpful by telling him that he was not unpacking the way that I would... So, anyway, he asked/suggested that I find something else to do ~ like go to the bank, go shopping, anything! Well, I did need to go to the bank, and as I was leaving all I could think about was something you said, “Daddy’s mad aut me.” No that wasn’t a typo ~ that was the way you would say “at,” when you used your poor, poor pitiful me voice! You are so smart ~ I love that you knew how to use different voices to relay different emotions. Anyway, I smiled yesterday thinking about you ~ and hearing your sweet voice in my head... I love you, Mo-mo ~ and I miss you so much! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: August 16, 2008

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you are having a wonderful day, sweetie!! Well, we have had another week of unpacking. It is pretty slow going because we still have a lot of people in and out of the house doing repairs. You have been on my mind constantly throughout the unpacking process, because everything in our house reminds me of you! I have to tell you something funny that happened yesterday. The dining room has been packed with stuff since the night of the fire ~ they used the dining room (which was not affected by the fire) to store our things from other rooms. Well, yesterday I finally made it through to the tablecloth, and found one of your little purple hair scrunchies! I have left your scrunchies all over the house so that when I run into them ~ I think of you. I love having these little reminders... Anyway, when I saw this one, I knew exactly where it came from, and I put it back there. I was so happy that your scrunchie wasn’t lost or thrown out. It is definitely one of the most important things to me! I miss you so much, Morgan. Please stay close to us, baby girl ~ I love it when you visit me in my dreams. I love you so very much! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: August 09, 2008

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope you are doing well, sweetie bird!! We are slowly getting through the boxes in our house. We actually have two rooms that are completely unpacked, and clean ~ the kitchen and the den! It’s a start... I know that you already know this, but I wanted to actually “tell” you about something special... You are going to have a new baby brother in October, and he may ~ probably will ~ have SMA. While I may not have selected “SMA” as a trait for any of our children, it is okay. Everyone in our family already loves this little boy, and we will take the best care of him that we possibly can ~ PLUS, he has the most amazing big sister watching over him all the time! Wow, Mo-mo! I just realized that you are going to be a big sister! That’s pretty neat, don’t you think? I wish you were here, though ~ more and more each day. I want to share everything important in our lives with you. I imagine that you would just giggle when you felt him kicking my tummy, and I know that YOU would be far more helpful with picking out a name than Clayton is (he currently likes the name Bartholemew ~ but when he says it, it sounds like Barfolemew). Please help us out with that one, baby girl! I love you and miss very much, sweetie! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: August 06, 2008

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you are doing wonderful, my sweet baby girl!! We are okay ~ but we are still sorting through boxes. It is a bit overwhelming, but I am trying to stay positive ~ like you would! This morning I was looking at some pictures of you ~ and it hit me just how much I miss my baby girl. Thank you, though for staying so close to us. Please watch over GrandDaddy for the next few days. And today is Uncle Baby (Billy’s) birthday ~ please send him a sign so he will know you are near, sweetie! I love you baby girl, and I miss you so much!! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: July 25, 2008

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you are doing well, baby girl! What an adventure the past six weeks have been! Thank you so much for watching over all of us, sweetie! I just wish that you were here with us instead. We are in Nags Head right now ~ but hopefully we will be going back to our house VERY soon!! Your room ~ your sweet little pink and flowery room ~ was damaged from the fire and water, so it had to be replastered and repainted. Daddy and I have been talking about how we are going to decorate your room now ~ we are thinking that we’ll paint some little pink flowers once again. It will always be “Morgan’s room.” Zekie, Clayton and I were on the beach the night before last, and we wrote a message to you in the sand ~ did you see it? I hope so! I love you, baby girl ~ and miss you so!

Date:: July 12, 2008

Today

From July 09, 2008 ~ Sorry, Morgan! Mommy posted this note to your Journal! Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you are doing well, sweetie bird! I woke up around three this morning, and all I could think about was you! I have been having these wonderful dreams this week where I wake up and I just know that I have just been with you. It's hard though to wake up and realize that you aren't there. But I love it! Every second I have with you ~ even in my dreams ~ I treasure! I love you so much, baby girl ~ and I miss you always!

Date:: June 19, 2008

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you are doing well. Clayton and Zeke are both out of school now (in fact, Clayton just finished up on Friday). I want to thank you for watching out for us on Monday night during the terrible lightning storm we had. Daddy was supposed to go to Florida Monday night. Zekie, Clayton and I had dropped him off at the airport at 4:30 Monday afternoon. Then his flight was delayed, and delayed and finally cancelled. So, we went back to pick him up around 7:30, as they could not get a flight for him on any airline that night. So, he was going to leave at 5:00 Tuesday morning, instead. But then we had a storm ~ an awful storm. The lightning woke me up around 12:30 in the morning. It sounded like it was just outside our bedroom window. Then we heard one, that I was certain hit our house. I told Daddy that I smelled smoke, and the power went out on the wall beside our bed, so he went downstairs (and I followed him) to check the breakers. One was tripped, so he flipped that back over. Then Daddy went outside to check to see if the house had been hit. He came back and said it looked like it had been ~ right next to your bedroom. We went back upstairs ~ where we found the smoke to be much worse! Daddy screamed "Call 911!" and we woke the Zekie and Clayton and rushed them out of the house to the big van. The fire dept. was there in about 5 minutes, but it seemed like forever ~ they sent 5 or 6 of the BIG firetrucks to help stop the fires. I couldn't believe they could get that many firetrucks in our cul-de sac! It was really something ~ very scary ~ but we were all extremely grateful. Zekie and Clayton and I all said, "Thank you, Morgan." because we knew you were the one watching over us ~ and the one who made sure that Daddy was home with us that night. Tuesday I was just so thankful for everything that we were all okay. But on Wednesday I found myself just feeling so sad about it all. They have pulled down most of the ceiling and part of the walls in your room. It is just so sad. I wanted to keep your room exactly like it was ~ your room. "My Morgan's room." So, we had a fire above your bedroom, and above Mommy and Daddys room, and then there was another fire on the other side of the house ~ in the FROG (Finisihed Room Over the Garage). The one in the FROG seems like it was worse, but I think that is because it had more time to accelerate. But who would have thought that another fire would start on the other side of the house? The Virginia Beach Fire Department did a wonderful job of putting out the fires, and causing as little damage as possible. They are just awesome ~ and I am very thankful that they were there. Please help your mommy remember to be grateful, sweetie bird. I love you so much, baby girl and I miss you more each day! XOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: May 02, 2008

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you are having a wonderful day, sweetie! Well, Clayton’s leg is still hurting ~ I can tell because he hasn’t moved off of the sofa since he woke up this morning. And he is always moving! I was hoping that he would be able to go to school today, but he is just not feeling that great still! I wanted to tell you, even though I’m sure you already know that Skylar Saranchuk became an angel on Monday. I remember we met her and her mommy in Greenville, South Carolina in August of 2004. She’s an amazing little girl, with a wonderful mommy! I hope that you can spend some time with her. Thank you again, Morgan for watching over your brothers, and Mommy and Daddy ~ and Sissy and GrandDaddy, Uncle Billy, Aunt Debbie ~ and all of us that you watch over all the time, sweetness! I love you, baby girl ~ so much! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: May 01, 2008

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you are having a great day, sweetie bird! Well, I took Clayton to the orthopedic surgeon yesterday for his leg. He has something called transient (or toxic) synovitis. It sounds awful, but it is not that bad. They think that it is from a virus he had a few weeks ago, and the virus settled in his hip. He will completely recover from it, but the only real treatment for it is bed rest ~ and you know Clayton! He has actually done very well resting though, which tells me how much pain he must be in. Thank you for watching out for him! And please continue to keep an eye on your brothers this week! Thank you, baby girl! I love you and miss you so much! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: April 28, 2008

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you are doing well! We have had a really busy couple of weeks around here. Let me try to remember all the things that we have been up to... First, Aunt Jamie, Uncle Rusty, Zoey and Toby came for a visit a few weeks ago ~ it was so nice to see them ~ I wish that we lived closer. We had a great time. We went to the Virginia Aquarium. I had not been there since the time I went with you in August of 2005. When we walked in, I looked at the lobby and I could “see” you sitting in your stroller next to Skyler and Kim McAdams. And two weeks ago, Zekie got his braces off! He looks so grown up, and a lot like Uncle Billy! And Zekie turned 15 on April 11th! He is so tall, and so nice. I am really proud of him. Clayton has been doing well, too. Well, he was up until Friday. He has injured his left leg somehow. He had to get three x-rays on Friday, and then another two today. His knee is really swollen, and he can barely walk. In fact, today he has had me carry him everywhere! Please watch over your little big brother, and send him some angel hugs ~ he loves them! I’m doing okay ~ just miss you so much! The spring is so hard, because I always think about spending my days with you out on the deck, and in the backyard. I am always looking for signs ~ and thank you for sending so many! Just like last week Sissy and I went to look at a gently used stove and microwave for our rental house. Well, we went to look at this nice couples appliances, and guess what was on their workbench in the garage??? A Polly Pockets House of Style! Just like the one that Sissy bought you on your third birthday! It was amazing! Then, the husband asked me what my license plate stands for ~ it says FGHT SMA. And I started to tell him when his wife said, "It's Spinal Muscular Atrophy." And then she asked me how I knew about it. I pulled out a picture of you, and said, "My daughter, Morgan..." She said, "I read about Morgan, I am so sorry." Then she asked me how my two boys were. SO, she not only read about you ~ she even remembered about Zeke and Clayton. Zoey’s birthday was on Saturday, I hope you and Grandpa sent her some signs to help her enjoy her day. And today is Daddy’s birthday. He is out of town right now, so we won’t celebrate his birthday until he gets back ~ although your brothers thought that we should get an ice cream cake for him anyway (they are funny, aren’t they??). Please send Daddy a sign today ~ remember it has to be OBVIOUS or he won’t pick up on it! Don’t forget to watch over your brothers, sweetie! I love you, baby girl so much! And I miss you more each day! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: March 24, 2008

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope you have had a wonderful day, baby! Today Zekie and Clayton had the day off. It was a nice day. We went to see the movie "Horton Hears a Who." Tomorrow Zekie has to go back to school, but Clayton will be off all week! I'm not sure what we will do right now, but he told me this evening he wants to sleep until noon tomorrow! I think that he has been talking to your BIG big brother too much!! We had a very nice Easter yesterday. We went to Sissy and GrandDaddy's ~ of course, Uncle Billy and Debbie were there, and Tory, Bill and Emilie. We missed Nana (Aunt Betty Anne), but it was very nice. Zekie hid Easter eggs for Clayton and Clayton his eggs for Emilie, and then Sissy told Zekie she had hidden one orange egg for him! Sissy made a wonderful meal ~ that you would have loved ~ scalloped potatoes, a chicken and stuffing casserole, green beans, bread! It was great! Only one thing could have made Easter better, sweetie... YOU! I love you, Mo-mo, and I miss you so much!!

Date:: March 22, 2008

Today

Happy Easter, Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have a wonderful day and celebration in Heaven, sweetie! I miss you so very much, and I love you forever! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: March 16, 2008

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you are having a great day, sweetie! I bet that you and Grandpa are having a little celebration for your new little cousin! I know that you'll both be watching over him. I love you, baby girl! And I miss you so much!!!!! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: March 15, 2008

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a great day, sweetie! Today Zekie and I took Trixy to her puppy class. She is so good with Zekie. He really works with her a lot. One day (last week when we were at the beach) it was windy and Trixy was almost walking backwards to keep her face out of the wind. Zekie said, “Trixy is so much like Morgan! She just hates being cold and can’t stand the wind!” Then we sat down on a bench, and right on there on the boardwalk (almost in between my shoes), there was a ladybug! A lady bug in Virginia Beach in March! I couldn’t believe it! Did you know that we were talking about you?!? I bet you did! You are so smart, Morgan! Thank you. I love you, baby girl, and I miss you so much!!

Date:: March 14, 2008

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you are doing well ~ I know that you know I have been thinking about you so SO much over the past week! I find myself talking about you a lot more when I don’t write to you. But you are always on my mind... Well, we have had a busy few weeks. Last week was Zeke’s spring break and we had a condo at the beach for the week ~ we had to come home a lot for Clayton to come to school, but still it was nice to see the sunrise every morning. It was nice though. This week has been really busy too ~ Clayton has been sick, and Trixy was spayed yesterday. I love you so much Morgan ~ please stay close to us ~ we miss you so much! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: February 27, 2008

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! You funny girl! I hope that you had a great day today. Today Sissy, Uncle Billy and I went to lunch together, but you already knew that didn’t you? On our way to the restaurant, we saw a license plate that said all the letters of Uncle Billy’s nickname from when he was a little boy! I noticed it first, and we all agreed that you had something to do with that license plate being in front of us. I love it when you let us know you are near, sweetie! I love you so much ~ and miss you always!

Date:: February 26, 2008

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a wonderful day, sweetie! This morning Clayton woke up and said, “Mommy, I had a dream last night that Morgan was here with us.” It was hard for him, because it seemed so real ~ and then he woke up, and you were gone. I know exactly how he felt. It's the best and worst feeling in the world ~ I am always so happy when I wake up from a dream like that, but as soon as it hits me that it was only a dream, it's like losing you all over again. I know you are still here with us, really. I just loved being able to hold you, and hug you, and talk to you! I loved the things that you said, and the way that you said them ~ your little sayings just echo in my ears, and I hope they always do. I love you, baby girl! And I miss you so much!

Date:: February 26, 2008

Today

Date:: February 26, 2008

Today

Date:: February 25, 2008

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! We've had a busy day here, but I wanted you to know how much I love you, baby girl! Thank you so much for being a part of our lives everyday! I love you so much!

Date:: February 24, 2008

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a great day, sweetie! Today Sissy and I went to a “Container Garden Seminar” at the garden center. It was very good, and I learned a lot about making container gardens. I can’t wait to make yours this spring. I am not sure what I will put in it right now, but I think that you will show me, won’t you? I miss you so much, Morgan... you are in all my thoughts. I love you so, baby! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: February 21, 2008

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a great day, sweetie! Did you see the eclipse last night? We couldn’t see it from our house because it was too cloudy, but I bet you and Grandpa had a spectacular view ~ and on his birthday, too! Aunt Jamie said it was awesome in Michigan. She also told me that the transmission on their van went out last week, too ~ just like ours! If you and Grandpa are thinking that these are funny coincidences, maybe you could send us some lottery numbers! I love you, Morgan ~ and I think about you all the time ~ I just miss you so much!

Date:: February 20, 2008

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a wonderful day, baby girl! So, today was Grandpa’s birthday! Did you have a little party? I bet you made something special for him today ~ I hope so! Daddy had another kidney stone today ~ he is fine now, but he was really feeling bad earlier. Thank you so much for watching out for all of us ~ I know you always do, sweetie! I love you and miss you so very much!

Date:: February 19, 2008

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a great day today, baby girl! Wow! I was just reading about you visiting one of your cousins! I am so glad that you let them know you are near! You must have thought that was pretty funny, didn’t you? You are funny ~ so funny! I love you, Mo-mo, and I miss you so much!

Date:: February 18, 2008

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a wonderful day today, sweetie! Daddy, Zekie, Clayton, and I spent most of the weekend trying to clean up for our home appraisal today. There was a lot of stuff that Daddy and I had not gone through in a long time ~ mostly because it is just so hard for us. We miss you terribly, and seeing the paintings you made, the toys you played with is just soooo hard. Of course, we have some of your art work on the walls, and some of your toys in our family room, but when we run across something that we haven’t seen in a while ~ we remember the day we made it, or something you said when you were playing with it. It is kind of like seeing different pictures of you ~ not all the framed pictures we have around the house ~ “new” old pictures. Oh Morgan ~ I love you so very much, baby girl, and I miss you more than ever.

Date:: February 14, 2008

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! Happy Valentine’s Day, sweetie! I hope that you have had a wonderful day ~ filled with pink and red hearts! Valentine’s Day is just not the same without you here. I imagine that we would have painted your toe nails ~ pink with the little white heart nail decals. You probably would have wanted me to paint them red, but (always trying to be practical) I would have talked (or tried to talk) you into pink. Red nail polish is so hard to get off. Today I glanced in your basket and I noticed that right on top was a pair a pink socks with white hearts on them. I don’t know why they were right on top, but it made me smile. You probably would have been wearing those today. I love you, Morgan ~ today and always! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: February 12, 2008

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you are having a good day, baby girl. Tonight, Aunt Debbie and Uncle Billy's doggie, Missy went to Heaven. Please take care of her and watch out for her, sweetie. I know that Uncle Billy and Aunt Debbie would like that. I love you, baby and I miss you so very much!

Date:: February 09, 2008

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a wonderful day, baby girl! Yesterday after I took Clayton to school, guess what happened?? My car broke down! I couldn’t believe it! It was running perfectly fine, and all of a sudden ~ it completely stopped! It sounded like the transmission fell out and I couldn’t push it out of the middle of the road. I was blocking traffic in both directions, and there were about 20 school buses trying to get past me! It was awful ~ and oddly enough it happened right in front of our church ~ you know, where your garden is... One by one people stopped to help me, and once we had 6 people and me ready to push, we tried again ~ one of the men that stopped said, "With as many people as we have here, we can pick it up and move it if we can't push it." You know, I was thinking about how terrible it was that I broke down, but just now while I was writing about it, I realized that I completely overlooked something ~ SIX people stopped to help me! That is a lot of people who were ready to help a stranger! I think that someone may have sent a lot of good samaritans my way yesterday ~ Thank you, sweetie! I love you, Mo-mo and I miss you so much!

Date:: February 07, 2008

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a great day, baby girl! I like to write you letters at night, but your brothers have been doing a lot of work on the computer at night, so sometimes I don't get a chance to write to you. Clayton and I wanted you to know that. I love you! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: February 05, 2008

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a wonderful day, sweetie! Today Clayton and I were siting in the front yard with Trixy waiting for Zekie to come home and guess what we saw??? A Butterfly! A perfect little cream colored butterfly that fluttered around our yard (tormenting Trixy) for about 5 minutes! Can you believe that!?! A butterfly in February! I think you *probably* had something to do with it, didn't you? Oh, Morgan! I love you so much, baby girl, and miss you more all the time! I really do, sweetness...

Date:: February 03, 2008

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a great day, baby! Zekie went to his Homecoming Dance last night ~ I wish you had been here to see him. He was so handsome, and he would have loved to hear YOU tell him how handsome he looked. I love you so much, Morgan! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

Date:: February 02, 2008

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! Happy Groundhog's Day! I hope that you have had a great day! Groundhog's Day was never very important to me until about 3 years ago ~ when you, Clayton, and I made those Groundhog puppets. I miss you so much, Morgan ~ I miss all the things that we use to do together. I love you, baby ~ we all do, and miss you so much! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: January 30, 2008

Today

Hi Sweetie~Bird! I hope that you have had a great day, baby! Well, you really know when I need ou around, don't you?? Tonight we were about to sit down for dinner, and your Little People town started to sing. It was really nice, because we were all home to hear it. Daddy had just come in, and Zekie, Clayton, Trixy, and I were all trying to tell him about our days ~ so there was all this noise, and suddenly we were all quiet (even Clayton and Trixy) listening to the Little People toy. The house was silent for a moment after the song stopped, and I said, "Morgan!" and we all laughed. Thank you, Morgan! I love you, sweetie and I miss you so much! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: January 29, 2008

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a FABULOUS day, sweet girl! Well, well, well... you certainly have been busy, haven’t you? Thank you so much for all the signs that you have been sending us over the past 24 hours, Morgan. Let’s see... I’ll start with last night. Clayton was reading one of his AR books called, “D.W. Flips” to me. Well, we always read the dedication page, and on this book it was, “For Eliza Morgan Brown!” We couldn’t believe it! You have to admit, that is pretty close to your name: Elizabeth Morgan! So, he started reading, and the main characters were; D.W. (of course) and Miss Morgan! How neat is that?? Clayton and I were both pretty excited about it! Then, this morning as Daddy was driving toward Oceana he said he saw the biggest rainbow he has ever seen right over Oceana ~ and he knew that his special little girl was painting the sky this morning! And you have been on my mind non-stop today. I must have had quite a few dream visits from you last night. Well, I had to go out to the bank, and I was just thinking about things that you said, and the way that you said them when all of a sudden I saw this older Dodge Caravan in front of me, and I could have sworn it said, “Morgan.” Well, then I thought, “No. I’m just thinking about Morgan so much, I’m seeing things.” Well, at the stop light I pulled up closer to the van, and guess what??? It did say, “Morgan!” It said, “Morgan Dodge.” Amazing! You are something else, little girl! Thank you so very much, Mo-mo. You help me so much ~ and you always have. I love you so much, baby girl! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: January 28, 2008

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a wonderful day, baby girl! Today Clayton had the day off. It was nice spending the day together. He is really being trying to be responsible for Trixy. Today he wanted to take her outside to go potty all by himself, so I let him. And he did wonderful with her. Today it was “Pajama Day” at Zekie’s school, so he went into school in his jammies! He was pretty cute ~ he wore his Aerosmith lounge pants, and his AC/DC tee shirt! Yesterday when I asked him if he was going to wear his jammies he told me he’d look pretty funny in a tee shirt and underwear! He is such a funny boy! I love you, Morgan ~ and we all miss you so much!

Date:: January 27, 2008

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a great day, sweetie! This evening we watched “Flushed Away,” and afterwards we watched some of the bonus features. They had all kinds of songs ~ like the ones from Shrek ~ and then I was walking out of the den, and the Madagascar song came on... “I like to move it, move it. He likes to move it, move it. I like to MOVE IT!” And all I could think of was you singing that song. I remember that it struck me as so ironic that you loved to sing and dance (in your chair) ~ and that you just loved that song. You were always so happy and positive ~ it always made it so easy for me to be positive around you. I miss you so much, Morgan ~ I just want to scream! It doesn’t get easier for me, and I don’t know what to do... I love you, sweetie and I’ll try harder to be positive just like my little hero, you!

Date:: January 25, 2008

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a wonderful day, sweetie! Today I was here alone while Daddy was at work, and Zekie and Clayton were at school. Now that I am working again, I am hardly ever home alone, but today I was, and guess what happened?? Well, I was in the laundry room folding clothes, and all the way across the house I heard the Little People Merry-Go-Round singing. And then it stopped in the middle of a song, and started a new one, like somebody had tapped it to change the song... but no one was here... It played the first song a few more times, and even once after I picked Clayton up from school, but it has not done it again tonight. I have not heard it play all by itself like it did today in a very long time. And I just knew that you were here playing with your toys. Clayton must have felt your presence too (that sounds kind of funny doesn’t it, but I just didn’t know how else to say it!). This evening he drew a picture of you and him, and he wrote, “Me and Morgan love each other.” That was so sweet ~ he misses you so much, Morgan. I love you, baby girl! And we all miss you so much!

Date:: January 24, 2008

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a great day, baby girl! Yesterday afternoon when I was picking Clayton up from school, I saw him standing in the doorway to cafeteria (where I pick him up) talking to someone... for a while. I thought that he was just talking to one of his friends, because he just kept talking and talking (you know how he can be). Well, guess what?!? He wasn’t talking to a friend. He was talking to the guidance counselor from school. He saw her in the hallway as he was walking to met me, and decided that he should tell her all about... SMA! He told her about how bad SMA is and what it is. I am pretty proud of him, because he told her that SMA meant that Some Muscles were not working. He also told her that his baby sister had SMA her whole life. He asks a lot of questions about SMA, and he thinks about you all the time. So does Zekie, but he understands SMA, because he was older when you were diagnosed. We all miss you and love you so much, Miss Morgan.

Date:: January 23, 2008

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you had a wonderful day, baby! Well, we have a new keyboard, and I have to tell you that it is really hard to adjust to a new one. Oh, yesterday I was at 7-11, and guess what I saw right by the check-out?? Latte candy! Can you believe it? I couldn’t! And all I could think about was you... and your “latte.” Oh, Morgan, baby girl, I love you so much, and miss you more than I ever thought possible!

Date:: January 21, 2008

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a great day, sweetie! Happy Martin Luther King Day! I was thinking about MLK Day three years ago... do you remember what we did? We made tie dyed t-shirts! I remember Judy came over (and I had forgotten that she was coming) so the house was a mess, and we were in the middle of making our tie dye shirts! I thought then that we should make a tradition of doing of “family craft” like that every year on Martin Luther King Day! Now, I always think of that Martin Luther King Day... I think it is one of my favorite memories. I love you, Morgan so very much!

Date:: January 20, 2008

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a great day, baby girl! Well, we were expecting snow, but we did not get much! Yesterday afternoon, we were talking about the time when it did snow here (a little bit), and I put you and Clayton on a sled, and pulled you down the driveway. Clayton was only about 2 ½, and you were about 15 months old, so I put you in between his legs. I was thinking (well, hoping) that he would help you stay upright. Well, about half way down the driveway, you tipped over, and out of the sled! I always suspected that Clayton had actually “helped” you out, and yesterday he confirmed that he did! He said that he wanted to sit in the front and that is why he tipped you over. You weren’t hurt, in fact I think that you were laughing because it was the first time you had felt snow. I am amazed at what a good memory he has, but I guess he has a lot of wonderful things to remember... especially about his baby sister. I love you, Morgan ~ and I miss you so much! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: January 18, 2008

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a great day (well, a great couple of days), sweetie! Daddy was trying to download some files (big files) one night, and last night we could not get the internet working right. Daddy ran some programs, though, and now it seems to be running much better. This morning, we somehow managed to get Clayton’s hand caught in the van door. I felt really bad, and then worse when Clayton told Daddy it was mostly his own fault. Poor little guy! Naturally, he did not even cry. He just sounded a little bit panicked when he said, “Open the door, Mommy! Please!” On the way to the doctors office, do you know what he saw? As we passed a McDonalds, he said “Did you read that sign, Mommy? The first word on it was angel. It reminds me of Morgan.” That was awfully nice of you to show Clayton that you were staying close to us. Thank you, Mo-mo! I love you, baby girl! SO SO MUCH!

Date:: January 14, 2008

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a great day, sweetness! This morning I was putting the scissors away in our junk drawer, and I heard them fall out. The drawer is probably a little over crowded (as usual) and I think that they just were not tucked in very well. So, I had to pull out the drawer and find them. Well, they weren’t on the bottom of the shelf, so I looked inside, and they were stuck on the rail where the drawer fits. But guess what else I found there? One of your Valentine hair ribbons! It is red with white hearts woven into the ribbon. It is definitely a treasure, Morgan! I love to find your things... I just wish that there were so many more. I love you, Mo-mo, and I miss you so much! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: January 13, 2008

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a great day, baby girl! Today we started “Puppy Class” with Trixy. We are learning all about “click and treat” training. Trixy seems to like it a lot, because she gets to EAT! After the class, Clayton and I went to a Benjamin Franklin program at the Lynnhaven House. It was crowded, but very good! I think that you would have liked it a lot, because the man who played Ben Franklin was really good, and funny! The children sat on the floor, and I could almost see you sitting there listening ~ just like Clayton. Although, if I am honest, there is probably NO WAY I would have taken you to such a crowded place in the middle of January! I would have been too nervous that you would have caught some germs! You know how I have always been with you, right? I miss you so much, Morgan. I think about you all the time ~ during the day, in my dreams ~ you are always on my mind. I love you, baby girl!

Date:: January 10, 2008

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a great day, baby girl! This morning I took Zekie into the dentists office for his monthly orthodontic appointment. I always think about you when we are there, because you were there...once ~ to get your teeth cleaned. Well, there was a baby girl in the office that was just getting very impatient about being locked in her carrier, so she was fussing, and all I could think about was you. Not because you fussed, but mostly because you didn’t you were always so easy going and happy. I just miss you so much, Morgan. I was so happy when you were here. I love you, sweetie!

Date:: January 09, 2008

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a great day, baby! Last night Clayton asked me why you were always in the newspapers, and I told him it was because you had SMA. Then he asked me what SMA was. Well, I told him that it is a degenerative muscular disease, and that your muscles were very weak, and that eventually the muscles that help you breath even start to get to weaker. I also explained that that is why so many children with SMA pass away. He was very sad, and said, “SMA needs to be cured for all the little babies.” It does. He is exactly right. Then he started talking about you and how much he misses you ~ in fact, Morgan, he was just in tears. He loves you so much, but I told him that you are always in his heart, and always watching over him. I know you are too, sweetie! I love you, Mo-mo ~ and I miss you so much!

Date:: January 08, 2008

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a great day, sweetie! Guess what happened this morning? Trixy (our new puppy) sat on your step almost all morning. It was so funny ~ she just sat there ~ happy as can be ~ doing nothing at all. I was even able to take five pictures of her sitting there, because she was just not going to move. I’m glad she did sit there, though ~ it reminded me of you sitting there ~ as happy as can be, and it made me smile thinking about you. I love you so much, Morgan, and I miss you more than words can say.

Date:: January 07, 2008

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a wonderful day, baby girl! Today I received an e-mail from a lady in Michigan whose granddaughter has SMA. She is plays in the Rochester Symphony Orchestra where Grandpa was president. She decided to handout flyers about SMA and a fundraiser they were having for her granddaughter at a performance of the Nutcracker. She needed some help handing out the flyers, and instantly spotted a young lady who looked responsible enough to help her. Well... guess who that young lady was?? Your cousin Rachel! Isn’t that just amazing? Rachel was wonderful and handed flyers out to each person that came through the door ~ I know she was probably thinking of you as she did it. I thought that was so sweet! We all miss you and love you so SO much! I love you, baby. XOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: January 06, 2008

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a great weekend, sweetie! Last night my cousin, Shane and his sons came over ~ of course, Uncle Billy, Aunt Debbie, Sissy, and GrandDaddy were here too. We had a very nice visit with them ~ it is too bad they live so far away. I always remember how once when Shane came over he brought little helicopters for you all to play with, and he sat there right in front of you showing you how to put them together. It was so nice. Then you sat out on the deck watching the helicopters, and the boys run around. Oh, Morgan baby ~ I love you and miss you so very much!

Date:: January 03, 2008

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you had a great day, sweetie! Well, last night after I wrote to you Zekie fell and hurt his back/tailbone. I took him to urgent care, and they took a lot of x-rays. We are hoping that it is not cracked, but either way he is in a lot of pain! He is so funny, though. The doctor wrote a prescription for Zekie to get a “donut” to sit on, and then told me that I might be able to find it at Med Emporium. Zekie looked at me and said, “What’s wrong with Krispy Kreme?” I am so happy that he is still has his sense of humor. I think that you are a lot like Zekie ~ so funny! Oh Morgan, I love you, and miss you so much!

Date:: January 02, 2008

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you had a great second day of the new year today! Well, Zekie, Clayton and I all went to the doctor today, and we all have bronchitis. We are starting to feel much better, now though. Do you want to hear something funny? Today, Trixy ran up the steps to the FROG and I called her, “Clayton!” then I called her, “Morgan!” then I finally called her “Trixy!” I had to laugh, because I called her Morgan! I mean, I am sure that Clayton has run up those steps, and I had to get him to come back down, but I never had to call to you to come down. I think that I was just thinking about you because she was running up your steps... I love you Mo-mo, and I miss you so much!

Date:: January 01, 2008

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! And Happy New Year! I hope that you and Grandpa have had a wonderful day today, sweetie! We had a great trip to Michigan. You would have had so much fun with all your cousins, and our new puppy. Trixy was very good on the trip, but she was so cold in Michigan, that I HAD to buy her a little jacket. It’s very cute, and I think that you would love it on her. On Sunday we all went over to Aunt Beth’s and made gingerbread houses! You would have had a blast! I know that your cousins all miss you like we do, maybe you can send them a sign just to let them know you’re watching over them, okay? Thank you, baby girl! I love you, Mo-mo! And I miss you so much!

Date:: December 31, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a wonderful couple of days, baby girl! We are home from Michigan, and we had a great trip. I will tell you all about it tomorrow. Tonight, I just want to wish you a Happy New Year! This afternoon, I was thinking about our New Years Eve party three year ago ~ Zekie and I decorated the kitchen while you and Clayton were taking your naps, so when you two woke up, you were so surprised! I think that was the BEST New Years I have ever had ~ just being with my wonderful family. I love you, Mo-mo, and I miss you so much! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: December 27, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you are having a great day, baby! Well, Clayton lost one of his front teeth yesterday, and now he looks like the rest of the first graders... like little hockey players! Poor Clayton told me yesterday that now he was going to have to wait until NEXT Christmas to ask Santa for his two front teeth! I told him that I thought he would have his grown up teeth in by next Christmas. He looks so different than he did in September ~ now he has glasses, and that huge gap in his teeth! I wonder if your bottom teeth would be getting loose by now. I love you, Morgan! And I miss you so very very much!

Date:: December 26, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a wonderful day, sweet girl! Well, we renamed our puppy today. Zekie and Clayton decided that “Peaches” sounded too much like “Beaches.” So now she is... “Trixy.” Clayton thinks that we will have to teach her a lot of tricks with that kind of name. I like it because you called one of your Polly Pockets “Trixy,” of course, you also had “Polly,” and “Girl.” I just loved it when you would say, “Hi Girl” with that sweet voice of yours. I was just thinking about the day that you were playing with your Polly Pockets, and the lady came from the school system to evaluate you at home. You were playing with your Polly Pockets, and I had also given you some Cheerios on your table. And then you said, “Help! Help me!” I jumped right up and asked you what was wrong, and you said that you were just playing with your girls, and one girl needed a life preserver, so you had given her a Cheerio. Wow! That was so smart! I am still amazed at how creative you have always been, baby girl! Oh, I love you so much, Mo-mo! And I miss you so very much!

Date:: December 25, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a Merry Christmas, sweetie! We have had just a wonderful Christmas. Well, Zekie was the early bird this year ~ he woke up at 5:00, and then tried to wake up Clayton until 5:30. They are so much like I was when I was little ~ they just are so excited to see what is under the Christmas tree! And guess what Santa brought?? He brought a PUPPY! She is so cute! She is a “puggle” ~ which is a cross between a pug and a beagle. And they named her “Peaches.” She is very calm, Morgan ~ and I think that if you were here, she would sit next to you all the time ~ and you would love it! After they went through their stockings, Uncle Billy, Aunt Debbie, Sissy and GrandDaddy came over. We opened presents and ate some breakfast, but mostly we just really enjoyed being together. Then this evening, Sissy made a beautiful Christmas dinner for everyone. It was just lovely, and all the food was delicious ~ I know that you would have just loved the stuffing, and mashed potatoes. It was a wonderful day ~ the only thing that could have made it better is if you were here... I love you, baby girl! XOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: December 25, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I just wanted to wish you a Merry Christmas! I love you, baby girl! XOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: December 24, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you had a wonderful Christmas Eve in Heaven today, sweetie! I bet it is really quite spectacular up there, baby girl! I love you so much, Morgan ~ and Christmas is just not the same without you here. Today we saw a dear friend of ours that I have not seen in a while. When she hugged Clayton she was just in tears ~ and I knew exactly why... she could see you in Clayton. You two always looked so much alike ~ like twins really (and ~ don’t tell Clayton but ~ I think that you were the same size if not taller than him). I love you sweetie, and you will be with us ~ all of us ~ tomorrow... in our hearts, as always. XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: December 23, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a wonderful day, baby! This morning I was out looking for a Christmas tee shirt for Clayton ~ they just don’t seem to have a lot for boys sizes 4 to 7! But I saw a lot of Christmas tee shirts and stretch pants for little girls. It’s not everything, but there are just some things that really make me think, “Oh that would be perfect for Morgan!” I wonder what you would ask Santa for... I know what I would ask for... I would ask for the same thing that I asked for every Christmas after my baby brother was born... a perfect little girl, my Morgan. I was so happy with you here, Morgan, and I am so thankful for everyday that you were with us. I love you! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: December 22, 2007

Today

HI Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have a had a great day, sweetie bird! Tonight we went out to dinner at Ruth’s Chris Steak House with Sissy and GrandDaddy to celebrate my birthday (and yes, I did see the signs you sent me this morning ~ thank you!). It was wonderful ~ actually, the BEST steak I have ever had, I think that you would have liked it, and it was tender enough that I probably would have let you eat it, Mo-mo. And it was such a nice evening with Sissy and GrandDaddy. Daddy and I really had a great time. Before we went out, Aunt Debbie and Uncle Billy (aka Uncle Baby) gave me a locket with a picture of you and me inside! I love it. I really like that when I wear it, you will always be close to my heart ~ literally. This morning Daddy, Zekie, and Clayton gave me some of our favorite soaps (Cotton Blossom), and some great birthday cards. It was a beautiful day ~ but, I miss you, I miss you, and I always will. I love you, Morgan!

Date:: December 20, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you had a wonderful day today, sweetness! Today I had an echocardiogram (on my heart), and I was asking the technicians all the same questions I asked when you had yours. They told me I did not ask the typical “patient questions,” and they asked me how I knew so much about it. So, I told them about my daughter... I love you so much, Morgan ~ and I miss you more each day. XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX P.S. The echo was fine ~ just so you know. I love you!

Date:: December 19, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you had a wonderful day, baby girl! Today we made gingerbread houses at Clayton’s school! I couldn’t believe all the candy and decorations they had out ~ you would have loved it, and I know that you would have created a masterpiece! Some of the children in his class are definitely future architects and decorators! They were amazing! And Clayton’s turned out really awesome, too ~ even if he did end up with frosting in his hair, and all over his shirt, and my shirt... There are so many things that I wish I had done with you, sweetie ~ and a gingerbread house is one of those things. But, on the other hand, we did do a lot of “crafty” things together ~ like my favorite Christmas tree you made with pipe cleaners, and beads. Mental Note to Mommy: I need to focus on the positives. Oh, guess what!?! Zekie had to make a family tree for Spanish. He included all of his immediate family ~ Daddy, Clayton, YOU, and me. Then he added Sissy and GrandDaddy and guess how he labeled Sissy??? I think he labeled her, “Mi Abuela.” The reason I say, I think, is because he wouldn’t let me look at it after he added Sissy! The translation for “mi abuela” is... well, I can’t even say it, but you can translate it here: http://babelfish.altavista.com/ I love you so much, Morgan ~ I wish you were here and we were laughing about Zekie’s family tree together, sweetie! I miss you so much! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: December 18, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a great past few days, sweetie! We have been very busy this week getting ready for Christmas and our trip to Michigan, and I have not been feeling too great for the past few days. Even when I don’t write ~ I am always thinking about you, though! I love you so much! Last night Clayton was reading a book he checked out from the library. It was called, “The Surprise Party,” and it was “For Morgan.” Clayton and I both smiled when he read that ~ what a wonderful little surprise for us! I am just amazed with all the things that we have found lately that are “Morgan-related.” Like the Morgan-Morgan perfume (that Lisa from England told me about), which is still my favorite perfume! And guess what Sissy found??? A jewel called, “Morganite!” Can you believe that?? You are everywhere ~ I know that. I just wish that you were just right here... with me. I love you, baby girl! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: December 15, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a great day, sweetie! I did some shopping today, and I saw some Polly Pockets at Toys R Us. I wonder what other things you would be interested in right now. Claytons new favorite thing is... Mad Libs! And I bet that you would love them too! Zeke and Clayton give me random verbs, adjectives, and nouns, and we read them in a story ~ some of them are so funny! You would love it! I love you, baby girl! And I miss you so much! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: December 14, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a great day, sweetie! Yesterday I brought in the mail, and guess what?? I had an “Explanation of Benefits” for you. It was quite a surprise to receive a letter for you. But it was not as much of a surprise as what I read was! It said we “may” owe providers $2,444.89! I thought I would have a heart attack ~ Daddy probably would have (you know, “Mr. Krabbs” and how he loves $$$)! I guess that Mommy will have to put her accounting hat back on, and try to figure out what is going on with this ~ the truth is that I don’t mind it, and I truly wouldn’t mind paying that... if only you were here... I would give anything. I love you so much, Morgan! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: December 13, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a great day, sweetie! Your brothers both seem to be feeling much better, and have been back in school for two days now! Hopefully, they will both be caught up on their work by this weekend. So, I wanted to ask you about the bows that I keep finding on the stairs... I think it is very strange that they are coming undone (they are the twisty tie bows) at night ~ so, I’m pretty sure it’s not Clayton. Hmmm... I wonder who it might be? I love you, Morgan ~ so very, VERY much! XOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: December 12, 2007

Today

Hi Mo-mo! I hope you have had a great day, sweetie! Zekie has been working on the computer most of the night tonight (trying to catch up on his schoolwork from being out sick earlier this week). I will write more tomorrow... but I wanted to ask you about the bows that keep coming off our banister... do you know anything about them?? I hope so! I love you, baby girl! And I miss you so much!!!

Date:: December 11, 2007

Today

Hi Mo-mo! I hope you have had a great day, baby! I was just looking at some of your pictures, and I needed to remove the red eye (that you and Clayton ALWAYS seem to have) from your eyes ~ and I rolled my mouse over your eyes ~ and I just missed you ~ I miss touching you, rubbing you face, holding you. You are my sweet baby ~ and I love you always! XOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: December 10, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I love you, sweetie and I hope you have had a wonderful day! XOXOXOXOX

Date:: December 09, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a good day, baby. Well, now both of your brothers are sick ~ I hope they are feeling better in the morning, though. Zeke is doing so well in school, and it is so HARD to catch up when you are in high school! Clayton (I think) is at the tail end of it, though ~ so I am REALLY hopeful that he will be able to go to school tomorrow. I love you, Morgan! BIG HUGS, baby girl!

Date:: December 08, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a wonderful day, baby girl! You know there are just some days that my eyes just drift toward the sky. It isn’t everyday, but some days I am just captivated. Today was one of those days. This morning I looked up in the sky and the clouds looked just like the kind of ripples that you might see on the water ~ with one exception. On the top of each of those rippling clouds were these tiny little rainbows ~ it was gorgeous ~ and gone within a few moments. Then this afternoon, Zekie and I were in the car, and we noticed the sky was lit up with pinkish/orange (maybe mango) lines. There must have been at least 30 of these vapor trails all over the horizon. It reminded me of the way someone (a little girl I know, named Morgan) liked to color! I hope so, Morgan ~ I hope that you have a clear blue sky everyday for you to create whatever masterpiece you are inspired to create. And the days that I don’t notice some amazing creation in the sky are just the days you wake up, and don’t feeling like coloring. I love you so much, Morgan ~ and I miss you so much. XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: December 07, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a great day, sweetie! I woke up thinking about you this morning again ~ I had had another dream about you ~ and you were five years old. I like that I get to “see” you grow up in my dreams, Morgan. Tonight Zekie is at the Holly Ball dance ~ I hope that he is having a great time. He has been doing so well in school, too ~ I know that you would be so proud of both your big brothers! I love you, Morgan ~ we all do, and we miss you so much! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: December 06, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a fantastic day, sweetie! I hope that you get a little kick out off it when we “recognize” the little signs you send to us ~ you sweet girl! Okay, so I guess that you already know that Clayton has been working on his “dollar bill” project. He had to chose someone ~ besides George Washington to put on his dollar bill, and he chose, Daddy! I told him that he should probably think of a famous person, but he was insistent that he wanted to use Daddy! I think that he really just thought it was so funny to have “Bill on the bill!” or “The Bill bill.” He kept saying silly things like that Tuesday afternoon when he found out about the assignment. So, he has been working on it this week, and this afternoon he noticed that one side of his dollar really needed something... But what? We looked at the 5, the 10 and the 20 dollar bills and Clayton noticed that they all had eagles on them. So, we googled “dollar eagle” in images and one of the eagles that came up was this one ~ http://www.coincommunity.info/coin/0100/1896-s-morgan-dollar-sm.jpg ~ and that was the one that Clayton wanted to put on his dollar bill. So I opened the image, and guess what we found out ~ it is called the Morgan silver dollar! Amazing! You are truly amazing! I love you so much, Mo-mo!

Date:: December 05, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a great day, sweetie! I forgot to tell you yesterday that I wanted to give your “angel day” a little bit of positive meaning. It is such a hard day for us ~ so I wanted ~ no, needed ~ something to keep me busy, and keep me from replaying that day in my head. So, I decided that I would mail out our Christmas cards yesterday. I did not get them all done, buy I did send out quite a few ~ and they should be postmarked with your day. I think that I am going to try to do that every year ~ that way I can celebrate you, and I want everything about you to be positive in our lives ~ like it always was. I sure did use the word “positive” a lot in this letter ~ it reminds me of the day that the first newspaper article came out about you (you were just 14 months old), and you said, (clear as a bell) “POS-I-TIVE!” You and your three syllable vocabulary! I love you, baby girl and I miss you so much!

Date:: December 04, 2007

Today

Hi Mo-mo! I hope you had a good day today and at school I made new friends. I love you, and miss you! Love, Clayton

Date:: December 04, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan! I love you. Love, Zeke

Date:: December 04, 2007

Today

Oh Morgan! In my earlier message, I forgot to tell you that Rob brought a teddy bear for you ~ it is so cute ~ he has a little Santa hat, and little red scarf! I am going to put him in “your basket” in our living room. I love you, baby girl!

Date:: December 04, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a wonderful day, sweetness. I can not believe that today it has been two years... I hope you know how much joy and happiness you brought us. This evening Zekie, Clayton and I went to your “garden.” Clayton and Zekie brought a bloom (one of the last blooms) from the hot pink geranium I planted for you this summer. We met Rob and his wonderful family up there. Rob was one of the EMT’s that came to our house on December 3rd, 2005 ~ in fact, he was the first one through the door. Oh Morgan, it was so nice to talk to about you to him, and his family. I told them about you and your PIZZA! And I told them about how when Daddy was done reading at bedtime, and take his glasses off, you would cry, “Put your glasses back on, Daddy!” You knew that if Daddy started to breathe heavy, the next thing that was going to happen is that you were going to fall asleep, too! And you never wanted to sleep! You know, Morgan ~ you are truly an amazingly little girl. You touched so many lives in your three short years ~ you are just so sweet, and happy, and smart, and beautiful ~ just PERFECT! I love you so much, my baby doll, and I miss you more than I could have ever thought possible. XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: December 03, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that today has been a good day for you, sugar pie. I woke up this morning having a dream about you. I dreamed that we had lost you... again. It was terrible, but wonderful, because you were five years old, not three, so we had you here with us for two more years. And I just felt so close to you ~ like you had been right there with me ~ just minutes before I woke up. I love you so much baby girl ~ I can not believe that tomorrow it will be two years since I last held you. It seems like it was just yesterday ~ and it seems like it has been forever. I love you, Mo-mo, and I miss you so very much! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: December 02, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a great day, sweetie! It has been a difficult weekend here on Earth ~ I just miss you so much, baby girl! I love you! XOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: December 01, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a wonderful day, sweetie pie! Well, Daddy is home! He was in California for a few days, but he is back now, thankfully! Why do I say thankfully? (I mean aside from the fact that we all missed him terribly) Well, this afternoon Clayton and I were on our way to go shopping, and I noticed that the engine light for the van came on. Well, I thought it will be okay, I’ll just wait and tell Daddy when we get back. It was a good plan, BUT suddenly I started to smell a strange odor, but it was familiar... I remembered that smell from a time when something was wrong with the radiator in my parents car when I was a little girl. Anyway, I pulled over right away and called Daddy. So, anyway, now my car is in the shop... But, I am very grateful that Daddy was home when all this happened! I think that there might be a sweet little angel who was watching out for her mommy and brother today! Thank you, sweetie! I love you, Mo-mo, and I miss you SO much! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: November 30, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a great day today, sweetness! This morning I was brushing Clayton’s hair before school, and he kept saying, “Ow! Ouch! That hurts! You’re pulling out all my tangles and knots.” And I said, “Morgan!” because he sounded just like you! I think that we forgot to brush his hair after his shower last night, and that is why he had so many tangles today! It made me smile, because it did sound just like YOU! I remember that Daddy always wanted to brush your hair, because you never complained when he did it. Do you remember that? He would ask you all kinds of “hair dresser” questions, like “Do you have a new boyfriend?” “What’s he like?” “Does your Dad like him?” Oh, Daddy was just so funny, and so gentle brushing your hair! I love you, Morgan ~ and I miss you so much!

Date:: November 29, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a great day, sweetie! I received an e-mail yesterday from Martha at FightSMA. It is about the video they played at the last FightSMA meeting in D.C. It's now on youtube, and the video that shows many of the children from the SMA community, with Joe Cocker's "You Are So Beautiful." The video link is: http://www.fightsma.org/blog/spinal-muscular-atrophy-videos/spinal-muscular-atrophy-kids-video-on-youtube.html And Martha says that by viewing it, it increases the chances that the video will maintain a prominent position, which is great for increasing SMA awareness. The video includes, William, Erinne & Latte, Malorie, Samuel, and...YOU! You are in the video right next to Madison Reed with Miracle for Madison. It’s nice, baby doll ~ very nice. I love you sweetie, and I miss you so much!

Date:: November 28, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a great day today, sweetness! Today I was picking Clayton up from school, and I was talking to one of the other moms about... YOU! She has a daughter that wears Benik gloves (like you did). We started talking and she asked me if you did Physical Therapy with Diane Epplein, and I told her that you did, and your therapist (the best PT in the world) was Judy! She said that she remembered seeing pictures of you in their office, and that they were quite fond of you ~ they were, especially Judy! It was nice to talk about you ~ to talk about what you did. I love you, sweetie ~ and I miss you so! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: November 27, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you are having a great day, baby! Today is Sissy’s birthday ~ I think that she is 39 (again). I hope that you get a chance to drop her a sign ~ I know that would be one of the best gifts she could receive! We (Sissy and I) were talking yesterday about the dream I had about you the other day ~ she has had some like that, too. I just know that you are visiting us in our dreams, because when I wake up ~ I know. I just know, that I was with you. I love you so much, Morgan ~ you are ALWAYS on my mind, and in my heart.

Date:: November 25, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you are having a wonderful day, sweetie! I am ~ I woke up this morning happier than I have been in years ~ I felt like I’d been with you all night. I really did, and I still do. I had a dream that we were all ~ everyone in our family ~ was in Kansas City for my cousin Elsa’s wedding. We were there for a week, though. It was so great to be with you ~ you were older, though ~ probably about five years old, and you could stand, but you still had SMA. Daddy and I were watching you, Zekie, and Clayton play with Moon Sand (it’s something new, like play dough), and Sissy came over and said, “Isn’t she just beautiful?” And I said, “Yes, Mom, but I have noticed that she has gained some weight since we have been here.” And Sissy just smiled ~ she had been ordered Stuffed Crust pepperoni pizza from Pizza Hut all week for you and your brothers! Oh Morgan ~ you were just talking non-stop, and so funny. I wish that dream could have gone on forever ~ I miss you so very much ~ and I love you forever!

Date:: November 24, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a wonderful day, baby girl! Well, we started decorating for Christmas today. It’s hard to do, because I have so many of your things ~ from that awful day ~ you sure did do a lot of work that Saturday morning. I have found that I have a lot of “Morgan” ornaments ~ you know, little ornaments that have your name on them. I think that we have so many of them because out of the three of you ~ Zekie, Clayton, and you ~ your name is the only name we can ever find! So, today I bought a little tree (and your silly goose brother, Clayton thought it was going to be our real tree) and put your ornaments on it. It’s nice, we have our little Morgan tree, and I think that you would have liked it. I love you, Morgan~Morgan! And I miss you so much!

Date:: November 22, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan! I hope that you have had a great Thanksgiving, baby girl! This morning I had to run out to the store for a few things that I forgot, and do you know what I saw on my way back home? A rainbow! It was bright and beautiful, and it looked like it just stretched across the whole sky. It made me feel like everything was okay up in Heaven ~ with you and with Grandpa ~ I was hoping that you would have a great Thanksgiving Day with him. I love you, Mo-mo! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: November 21, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a wonderful day, sweetness! Well, I was really missing you today! I starting getting food ready for Thanksgiving, and my little helper wasn’t here. I just loved cooking with you, baby girl! I even made your favorite ~ SWEET POTATOES! I was thinking about that time about two and a half years ago when Sissy asked me if I thought that something was wrong with your skin. She had noticed that your face (well, really just your upper lip) seemed to have an orange tint to it. She told me that she had even washed your face, and it was still somewhat discolored ~ and that’s when I started laughing, and said, “Oh Mom, Morgan is eating sweet potatoes all the time, and they stain her face!” It was so funny! I love you so much, Morgan! And I miss you always!

Date:: November 20, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope you have had a great day, sweetie! Do you remember that day that we ~ Uncle Billy, Aunt Debbie, Daddy, Zekie, Clayton, YOU and I ~ went to the park together? Aunt Debbie wanted to see you drive your “bicycle.” Zekie and Uncle Billy took their bikes, too and rode around the park. Then you, Aunt Debbie and I started throwing acorns and pine cones behind Zekie, and he thought that the squirrels were trying to attack him. (I still have not told Zekie that it was us that day!) Well, this past summer the squirrels in our yard have really been driving him crazy! When he laid out in his hammock, they would drop things on him ~ although Zeke was pretty sure they were aiming at him. And almost every morning last summer his hammock would be filled with the black walnuts from our back yard. Then last week Zekie and I were walking Clayton into school one day, and there was definitely a squirrel throwing acorns at him! I was just shocked! I told Daddy about it, and he laughed and said, “Well, wasn’t that a game that you, Morgan, and Debbie made up?” Then he said, “I bet those squirrels had a little help deciding where ~ or who ~ their target should be.” I think so, too Mo-mo! Thank you! I hope that you had a good laugh ~ and don’t stop! I love it! And I love you so much, baby girl! You are so funny!

Date:: November 18, 2007

Today

HI Morgan~Morgan! I hope you have had a wonderful couple of days, sweetie! I hope that you know I think about you all the time ~ it’s just that this time of year is very hard for me. I keep thinking back to two years ago ~ and how we were getting ready for Thanksgiving with you. I love you so much, and it is so painful to revisit those days. Okay ~ enough of that ~ let me update you on things here... Well, Friday night I went out and bought pizza for dinner ~ you know, we always have pizza on Friday night. When I came home, I put the pizza on the island and Clayton pulled up a chair (like he always does) to "pick out" his piece. Well, the chair slipped out from under him, and his toe was smashed between the wood chair, and the ceramic floor. Believe it or not, he actually cried a little bit. I put ice on it, but within 15 minutes it was very swollen. I called the doctors office and they had me to take him in to the urgent care for x-rays. I carried Clayton in (because it hurt him to walk on it, and if it was broken, I did not want him to make it worse), then a nurse came out and put him in a wheelchair. Within seconds, he had the wheelchair all figured out ~ he could adjust the leg height, move him self all around the room, and put on the brakes. He was making me crazy wheeling all around! So, I said to him, “Clayton, I am so glad that you are not in a wheelchair.” And he kind of snickered, and then he looked at me and said, “Mommy, I AM in a wheelchair!” Ugh! What a silly boy! Thankfully, it is not broken. He must have had an angel (or maybe two) watching over him. Thank you, Morgan! I love you, baby girl and I miss you so very much! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: November 15, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a wonderful day, baby girl! This afternoon while I was working with Clayton (well, trying to get him to do his homework) I was thinking about you. Clayton can do all his homework without too much difficulty, but he HAS to have “breaks” in between each homework sheet. The reason that I was thinking about you is... (well, aside from the fact that I am always thinking of) that I know that if you were here, you would just love doing homework! Just like you always loved doing your work. And I bet that Clayton would be far more motivated to do his homework if you were sitting here working away on yours. I remember that every morning, you loved going to “work” in our little classroom, and Clayton rarely wanted to. But after a few minutes, he would come on in, ready to go. I think that he just wanted to be with his best buddy ~ YOU! I love you so much, Morgan! And I miss you always!

Date:: November 14, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope you have had a wonderful day, sweetie! This evening I was a swimming lessons with Zeke and Clayton, and I was talking to our neighbor about you... You and his son have the exact same birthday! Isn't that neat? I think it is. There must be a reason, right? I love you, Mo-mo ~ and I miss you so! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: November 13, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a great day today with your Grandpa, sweetness! Are you telling him, “It’s a beautiful day!” every morning? I hope so ~ and I imagine that he is smiling at you that the way that he smiled at all his grandchildren here on Earth ~ with a little twinkle in his eyes. I love you, Morgan and miss you so much!

Date:: November 12, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a great day, baby girl! This morning I was cleaning the den ~ and I was grumbling about how your brothers are always leaving their clothes, and things all around. Then I looked up at the mantel and I saw a picture of you ~ a Christmas picture of you when you were about 14 months old ~ and I smiled. I thought to myself, “Now, my sweet little precious girl would NEVER leave her toys and clothes all over the place.” And I smiled again. You really couldn’t, could you? You never had a chance to. I really wish that you had, though. Then I thought, “Maybe I should be thankful that Zekie and Clayton are leaving their things all over.” Thank you Morgan, thank you for changing my perception today ~ and I’d like to thank you on behalf of your brothers, too ~ they didn’t get in any trouble for leaving their things out ~ all because of YOU! I love you, baby girl and I miss you so much!

Date:: November 11, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a wonderful day, sweetie! I love you so much, baby girl! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: November 10, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a wonderful day, sweetie! This morning I woke up early, and made a pecan coffee cake for Aunt Debbie and Uncle Billy. I haven’t had a chance to tell you yet, but Aunt Debbie had surgery on Monday to have her hip replaced! I know that you have been keeping a close watch on her though, because she is doing so great! Today she showed me how she could move her leg forward and back ~ kind of like swinging her leg. I remember being very proud of somebody else that could do that, too! Do you? I remember sitting you up on the island in our kitchen, and you would kick those little legs back and forth! I would always say, “Morgan! Are you kicking your Mommy?” And you would just laugh, and kick some more! Those are some of the best memories in my life, Morgan. I was just so proud of you, baby girl! I love you, sweetie and I miss you so much!

Date:: November 09, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a great day, sweetness! Today I was thinking about Grandpa’s funeral. Aunt Jamie spoke, and talked about all the things that Grandpa had taught his children. One of my favorite things that she said, was “You will always have to tell people how to pronounce your last name. It’s Saville. Rhymes with gravel.” I think that all of us with the last name Saville (and everyone that ever had Saville for a last name) can truly appreciate that. I remember when we would ask you your name, you would always say, “Morgan~Morgan Saville!” Perfectly! Oh, I love you and miss you so much, Morgan. XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: November 08, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a wonderful day, sweetie bird! I wanted to thank you for sending us a sign while we were in the church for Grandpa’s funeral. It was really amazing. About a week after you flew to Heaven, Sissy found this little statue with Jesus and "the children of the world." And right in the center of the children is a little girl with blond hair and braids. Sissy bought it because she just knew that the little girl in the center was... YOU! I have always felt that it was a sign from you that you were in Heaven with Jesus. So, we were all in the church on Monday for Grandpa’s funeral, and I looked at the statues on the wall of the church in front of us. And guess what it was, Morgan? It was a life size statue of the Virgin Mary and the same “children of the world." And right in the center was the little girl with the braids! I was just overcome. Thank you, Mo-mo. You are truly amazing, and I am truly amazed by you, sweetness! I love you so much, baby girl ~ and I miss you always!

Date:: November 07, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a good past few days, sweetie bird! Thank you so much for all the signs you have shown me this week. We went to Michigan for Grandpa’s funeral. It was very nice, and the Priest that performed his Funeral Mass was just wonderful. One of the things that he said was that this (Earth) is not our permanent home. Our permanent home is in Heaven with God. Here (on Earth) we only experience little pieces of Heaven ~ like our time here with you. It was a piece of Heaven. I hope that everything in Heaven is wonderful for you. I love you so very much, Morgan and I miss you more than I thought possible, but the most important thing is that I hope you are happy. I love you! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: November 07, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a good past few days, sweetie bird! Thank you so much for all the signs you have shown me this week. We went to Michigan for Grandpa’s funeral. It was very nice, and the priest that performed his funeral mass was just wonderful. One of the things that he said was that this (Earth) is not our permanent home. Our permanent home is in Heaven with God. Here (on Earth) we only experience little pieces of Heaven ~ like our time here with you. It was a piece of Heaven. I hope that everything in Heaven is wonderful for you. I love you so very much, Morgan and I miss you more than I thought possible, but the most important thing is that I hope you are happy. I love you! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: November 01, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a great day with your Grandpa, sweetie. I love you, baby girl! Big Hugs!

Date:: October 31, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan! I had a good Halloween, but I missed you. Did you have a good Halloween? I hope so! Love, Clayton

Date:: October 31, 2007

Today

Oh Morgan~Morgan... I know that you already are, but please take care of Grandpa in Heaven. I can imagine the way that his bright blue eyes will light up when he sees you, sweetie. Please give him a hug for us, and let him know how much we will miss him here. I love you, baby girl, and miss you so much.

Date:: October 31, 2007

Today

Date:: October 30, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you had a great day after your birthday, sweetie! Today Clayton was sick. I really hope he is feeling better tomorrow ~ I would hate for him to be sick on Halloween. This morning I was looking for my earrings on my dresser, and guess what I found??? I found a little butterfly sticker that was once on your big toe! I knew it was there ~ I found it once before and I left it there so that I would find it again, and it would make me feel happy. It worked! I smiled when I saw it, and I put it in a special little jewelry box, so that I won’t lose it! I love you, sweet girl and I miss you so much!

Date:: October 30, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I wanted to let you know that yesterday I received a beautiful card from Lisa in England for your birthday. She made the card herself, and it is just perfect ~ I know that you will love it. Here is a picture of the card and some photos from your birthday two years ago! I love you, baby girl! http://www2.snapfish.com/thumbnailshare/AlbumID=184816398/a=24561328_24561328/t_=24561328

Date:: October 30, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you had a wonderful birthday, baby girl! Yesterday was just... well, hard for me. I tried to be positive, and “celebrate” your birthday (your birthday is still and always will be a day to celebrate). I made a cake and took it up to the Fire Station. Somewhere along the way, though I realized that I really just wanted to sing “Happy Birthday to YOU,” buy you some cool new (and probably soon to be recalled) Polly Pocket, watch YOU open presents, eat cake and ice cream. I hope that you did all those things even if I didn’t get to see you or be a part of it. I know you know that you are always in my heart. I miss you so much, Morgan. And I love you always! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: October 29, 2007

Today

Here are some pictues of you in your little bumble bee costume! I love you! http://www2.snapfish.com/thumbnailshare/AlbumID=184816397/a=24561328_24561328/t_=24561328

Date:: October 29, 2007

Today

Happy Birthday, sweetie bird! We all love you so much! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: October 28, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a wonderful day, silly girl! You are too funny! This morning I was baking a cake, and I was thinking about you ~ and Halloween. I started thinking about the fact that you were a bumble bee for Halloween two years ago. I was remembering that morning when you woke up, you started singing, “I’m bringing home a baby bumble bee! Won’t my momma be so proud of me?” AND then... guess what happened? Zeke and I went up to Blockbuster and not ONE, but TWO bumble bees landed on my windshield! I couldn’t believe it! I can’t ever remember seeing bumble bees this late in the year ~ but sure enough they were there today! And they hung onto the windshield quite a while before they flew away! Thank you, Morgan ~ thank you for sending them. I love you so much, and I miss you terribly! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: October 27, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a great day, sweetie! It has been rainy and yucky here today. Clayton did some Halloween crafts today, and I am working on a “Poet Tree.” Our friend, Lisa (in England) told me about them. I am now trying to think of words to include on my Poet Tree ~ I already have a few like ~ Mo-mo, TicTac, and Marsupial. I love you, Mo-mo! And I miss you so much!

Date:: October 26, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a wonderful day, sweetie! You sure have been busy haven’t you? I know that Sissy really misses you when she is away ~ I’m glad to know that you are staying close to her ~ showing her signs (literally)! You are so smart! I love you baby girl, and I miss you so much!

Date:: October 25, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a great day, baby girl! Yesterday I “talked” to Aunt Jamie online, and she reminded me that your birthday is also Zoey’s half birthday! Isn’t that neat? And your birthday ~ and Zoey’s half birthday are coming up in just a few days! This morning Clayton had a Pumpkin Lab for science at school, and it was so fun! They had all these different activities to do ~ and a tasting station where they could taste “pumpkin” food. I made a pumpkin cake, and pumpkin soup ~ but Clayton did not try either of the things that I made! I was thinking about you and how much you would have loved it all ~ all the pumpkins, all the activities, and especially trying all the food! You are so smart, Mo-mo, I just know that you would have had a great time! I love you, sweetie, and I miss you so much!

Date:: October 24, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a wonderful day, my sweet baby girl! This morning I was sitting at my dressing table putting on my make-up and guess what?? The light above the table started flickering! I finally said, “Okay, Morgan I’ve got it,” and the light stopped flickering! Then, I started thinking to myself, “Maybe it wasn’t Morgan at all. Maybe it was just that the light was acting funny.” And as soon as I thought that ~ the light flickered again! And then I thought, “I really hope it is you, Morgan.” And the light started flickering very fast! And then it stopped. The light did not burn out and it has been fine all day long! Thank you, Morgan! Thank you for staying close ~ I love you so very VERY much, sweet girl! And I miss you always!

Date:: October 23, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a good day, sweetie! Yesterday was really difficult for me (I know, you know), but everything is fine now! I was worried that Clayton may have come into contact with the MRSA staph infection, but he is fine! Thank you for watching out for him. I was talking to Zekie the night before last, and we were talking about YOU! He was laughing about the way that you loved to drop your french fries on the floor for him to pick up ~ and every time he did, you would drop another one! You are such a funny girl! He would go crazy, and you would just giggle! Oh ~ I love you, Morgan ~ we all do and we miss you so much!

Date:: October 21, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a good day, baby girl! Well, I woke around 1:30 this morning ~ and I must have had a dream about you ~ because I was just missing you so much. I feel like it was all a dream ~ the time we were together. It was perfect, and now it’s gone! I just want to scream! I can’t believe it! I miss you, Morgan! I need you. Why! Why? Why did this happen? I’m sorry, Morgan. It is just too hard for me sometimes (most of the time, really). I love you, baby girl, and I miss you so much!

Date:: October 21, 2007

Today

10/20/07 Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you had a great day, baby! Today both Zekie and Clayton had their school carnivals. SO, we were very busy today! At Zekie’s carnival, Clayton ran the “Rat Race,” (it’s a race course that you run against another person) ~ and Clayton told Daddy when he was done that he ran against YOU! Thank you for being there with him ~ he really misses you, his little buddy! I love you, Morgan ~ and I miss you so much!

Date:: October 19, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a wonderful day, sweetie! Today your brothers were sick, so I had to take them to Patient First (because they didn’t even have any appointments at TCA). In spite of them not feeling well, something funny did happen. While I was in the little glass cubicle filling out insurance forms, etc. I looked out in the waiting room, and guess what??? You brothers were reading / looking at magazines. But that wasn’t the funny part! The funny part was that Zekie was reading Highlights Magazine for children, and Clayton was reading Popular Science! I couldn’t believe it! I laughed out loud! They are so funny, aren’t they? I love you, Morgan ~ and as always I miss you so much!

Date:: October 18, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a great day, baby girl! Today is Aunt Debbie’s birthday. I hope you get a chance to send her a little sign, so that she knows you’re thinking about her (because I know you are). This afternoon Zekie told me that you helped him in school today... again! He was supposed to have digital pictures for his desktop publishing class, but he forgot to bring them in on his thumb drive. So, he went to your website and picked up pictures from there! Then he cropped, edited, and “photoshopped” them. Anyway, he says, “Thank you, Mo-mo!” You are our sweetest little angel, and we all love you so much, Morgan!

Date:: October 17, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a wonderful day, sweetie pie! Today I went to a seminar for “Student Success.” I wanted to get some ideas about how to help Zeke and Clayton with school. They are both doing great, but it never hurts to learn, right? Anyway, I overheard one of the moms ask another mom, “How’s Morgan doing?” Of course, I thought about my Morgan. Then when we introduced ourselves she said that she had a third grader, and a three year old daughter named Morgan. Three years old... just like you... the last time I saw you, baby girl. I miss you so much, Morgan. And I love you forever!

Date:: October 16, 2007

Today

Hello Miss Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a great day, baby! Clayton has been on me to get some Halloween decorations up for a while now (can you believe that? I mean Halloween isn’t for another two weeks!). So yesterday I put a few decorations up. One of the things that I put up was a cardboard skeleton on our front door. It is so funny, because EVERY time I open the front door now ~ I scream! This afternoon when I did it, I went into the den, and Clayton was just giggling (because he knew why I screamed) ~ but it reminded me of YOU! And how when Daddy always would come into the kitchen after work, and I would scream! You, Zekie and Clayton thought it was so funny! I know that if you had been here today, you would have been sitting in the den giggling right along with your big brother! I love you, Mo-mo ~ and I miss you so much!

Date:: October 15, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a wonderful day, sweetie! Today Clayton and I were in the car, and I had on the High School Musical 2 CD playing. The song, “I Don’t Dance,” came on, and Clayton started “dancing” in his car seat. I looked in the rearview mirror and I saw him just bouncing, dancing, and smiling away in his seat, and do you know what it reminded me of? (I know that your Sissy knows!) It reminded me of ...YOU! I love the way that you would sit in your little yoga chair, wiggle your hips, and say, “Mommy! I’m dancing! I’m dancing!” Oh Morgan ~ if you could have seen your eyes. They were dancing! They were dancing more than I have ever seen eyes dance. I love you so much, my dancing girl! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: October 14, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a wonderful day, sweetie! I've been thinking that five years ago, I was almost nine months pregnant with you. Five years! It seems like it was so long ago ~ and it seems like it was just yesterday... So much has happened in five short years ~ some of the best things that have happened my whole life, and the worst. I love you so much, Morgan! And I miss you so very, very much! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: October 13, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a good day, sweetness! Last night Daddy, Zekie, Clayton, and I sat down in the den to watch a movie, and eat pizza ~ just like we did every Friday night when you were here! Anyway, the second the movie started one of your toys started making sounds ~ it was actually a phone ringing sound, and I said, “Hi Morgan!” I know you were there with us, weren’t you? Oh Morgan! I just miss you, I miss talking to you, I miss hugging you, I miss holding you ~ just... everything! I love you so much, baby girl! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: October 11, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a wonderful day, sweetie! Tonight Clayton has a spelling and a vocab test to study for ~ and Zeke has two essays to write, but I wanted to tell you how much I love you and miss you so much! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX I love you, baby girl!

Date:: October 10, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope you have had a wonderful day, sweetie! I love you, Morgan ~ and I miss you so much! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: October 09, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a great day, sweetie! Today I sent a letter to one of our Senators telling him about you ~ and asking him to cosponsor the HR 3334 - The SMA Treatment Acceleration Act. It would be great if he would cosponsor that bill ~ I know it doesn’t help us (our family) now, but maybe one day another family will not have to go through what we have been through. We all miss you so much ~ each and every day, Morgan. I love you, baby girl! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: October 08, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had another wonderful day, baby girl! Yesterday Clayton and I were working on his timeline project. We ordered the pictures that he wanted to use on Saturday, and he couldn’t decide if he wanted to use the Christmas one of you, Zekie, and himself or the Halloween one of the three of you, so eventually I decided that he would use the Christmas one ~ I could just tell that he would have thought about it ALL day yesterday. And then he was quite a bit upset that we had ordered the Halloween picture but did not use it. So, we decided that we would make a project out of it ~ and that’s what we did ~ all three of us ~ Clayton, Zekie and I decorated the picture and framed it ~ It looks great! And it is one of my favorite pictures of you! You are just so happy in it! It makes me smile, and it makes me cry ~ I just miss you so very much, sweetie! I love you, Morgan! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: October 07, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a wonderful day today, sweetie! Tonight Zekie, Clayton and I were playing basketball outside, and we saw so many "shooting stars" (or vapor trails as Daddy calls them). We were all thinking about you, baby!! We love you and miss you so much, Morgan! HKHKHKHKHKHKHKHKHKH (hugs and kisses)

Date:: October 06, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a great day, baby girl! Clayton has a special project for Social Studies ~ he is working on a time line from his birth to present day. We picked out the four pictures that he wanted to include, and then today I went to the craft store to get some stickers and other supplies for his project. When I was there walking around, I saw Halloween ribbon. I thought about how we made bracelets out of the Halloween ribbon ~ in fact, I still have yours in my drawer in the bathroom. Oh Morgan, I think about you all the time ~ it just isn’t right that you aren’t with us, and it doesn’t get easier as the days go by, sweetie. I love you, Mo-mo, and I miss you so much.

Date:: October 05, 2007

Today

From 10/04/07 (I don't know why this did not post yesterday ~ sorry, baby girl!) Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a wonderful day, sweetness! This morning I was putting Zekies contacs in his eyes, (I usually put the right one in first, and then the left) and he seemed to be having trouble with the right one. So, I asked him if he wanted to take it out, and try again. He did, so I replaced that one, and then I asked him, “How’s leftie?” I immediately smiled and thought about how you always called your left hand, “Leftie!” Thank you, Morgan ~ thank you so much for always being so close to us. We all love you and miss you so VERY much! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: October 05, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a wonderful day, sweetie! Today Clayton asked me if you go to Heaven School. I told him that you probably are teaching at the Heaven School if there is one. Clayton has a new way to send hugs and kisses to you ~ here it is (Clayton wrote it himself): HKHKHKHKHKHHKHKKHKKHKHKKKHHHKHKKHKHKHKHKHKHHKHHKHKHKHKHHKHKKKHKHKHKKKHKKHHKKHKKHKHHKKHHKKHKHKKHKKHKHKHHKHKHKHKKHH The H’s are hugs, and the K’s are kisses! We love you, Morgan! And we miss you so much!

Date:: October 05, 2007

Today

Date:: October 03, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a great day, sweetie bird! You are so funny, little girl! You know your Daddy so well! I can hardly believe it! I’m sure that you know my cousin, Elsa works for the Federal Reserve. Well, she gave us a gift bag (which was so sweet), and in the gift bag was a bag of money from the Federal Reserve. The money was shredded money that was no longer in circulation, and when Daddy saw it, he felt physically ill! Just like Mr. Krabbs (from Sponge Bob) would have! And you always made Daddy “play” Mr. Krabbs! You know your Daddy, don’t you?? I love you, Morgan and I miss you so much! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: October 02, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a wonderful few days! Zeke and I went to cousin Elsa’s wedding in Kansas City, and it was just beautiful! It was a gorgeous day, and Elsa looked beautiful! I met her husband, John, and he is very nice. After the wedding I talked to him, and he told me how sorry he was that we lost you ~ here on Earth. He also told me that he and Elsa had the donation gifts made at the church going to FSMA Kansas City. And, if all that wasn’t enough, they had a beautiful memorial page in the wedding program that included... you, Adam and Gabe (her brothers). Isn’t that nice? I thought so, too. I love you so much, Morgan! And I miss you always! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: September 27, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a great day, sweetie! I meant to tell you that Clayton lost his second baby tooth yesterday! So, last night he was getting ready to put it into his little “Clayton” pocket, and he told us that if the tooth fairy brought him a golden dollar he was going to “donate it to FightSMA.” It was so sweet of him to say that, but then when he woke up and found a silver dollar, he immediately brought it downstairs and gave it to me to put into the FightSMA bank account! What a sweet boy ~ but he has a really wonderful little sister that he thinks about all the time! We all love you, Morgan and miss you so much!

Date:: September 26, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a wonderful day, baby girl! Today I was setting the table for dinner and I was thinking about when you were here... I was thinking about how Zeke always wanted to know when Clayton was going to start setting the table ~ and we made a plan that Clayton would do it when he was in Kindergarten, and then you would do it the next year. I wish that you were here to set the table, sweetie! I love you, Morgan and I miss you so much!

Date:: September 25, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a great day, sweetie bird! Thank you for watching over Zekie! He is back home from his “Freshman Retreat,” and in one piece! I was worried about him, but he did great! Today I was stopped at the light by our church ~ looking at your garden ~ on my way to Sissy’s and guess what song came on the radio?? Fire and Rain! The same song that someone left on your guest book ~ and as I listened to it, I realized that I still believe that I will see you one more time again. I love you, sweetie and I miss you so much!

Date:: September 24, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a wonderful day, baby girl! I have been meaning to tell you that I had a new cell phone! Not that I get all that excited about having a new cell phone, but I am excited about this. It is hot pink ~ and my screen saver is a picture of you! I love it! Every time I look at the phone I get a glimpse of that gorgeous smile of yours! I love you, Morgan and I miss you so much!

Date:: September 23, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a super day! Yesterday afternoon Clayton looked up in the sky and saw a cloud and said, "That cloud looks like Morgan's face and it looks like she's wearing a crown!" I hope you are, sweetie! I love you and miss you so much! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: September 22, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a great day, sweetness! We went to Sissy and GrandDaddy's this afternoon to go swimming in the pool! It was to cold for me (and it would have been too cold for you, too!) but Daddy, Zekie and Clayton jumped in! I love you, Morgan! And I miss you so much! XOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: September 21, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a beautiful day, baby! This afternoon Clayton was doing some school work, and one of the things he had to do was write a sentence with the word, “it” in it. Guess what he wrote!?! “It is a beautiful day!” Just like you always said. Thank you, Morgan ~ for so many beautiful days! I love you and miss you so much!

Date:: September 20, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you had a great day, sweetie bird! Today was much better for Clayton ~ thank you for watching him. Yesterday my Grandma came over with Sissy. You know she has problems with her memory, but she remembered you. Sissy showed her your portrait in our hallway, and she said how sad it was to lose you ~ and then she said, “How old was Morgan? Three or four ~ I can’t remember.” I think she did pretty well remembering that! You really make an impression, don’t you? I love you, baby girl and I miss you so much!

Date:: September 19, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you are having a great day, baby girl! Today was much better! Yeah! Clayton did not even mention that he wasn’t feeling good this morning! I hope that he is feeling more confident now. Today is picture day at Zekies school ~ Zekie looked so nice and handsome this morning. It was pretty funny when he put on the tie that he likes (and Mommy likes him) to wear with his sports coat. It was TOO SHORT! He looked so silly! The tie only came to his chest ~ he looked like he was wearing a little boy tie! I guess he was ~ he is just so tall and big now! Thank you for watching over your big brothers, Morgan! We all love you so very much! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: September 18, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you are having a wonderful day! Please keep an eye on Clayton today. He is having such a hard time adjusting to first grade. Every morning he feels sick. Yesterday morning he was just in tears ~ he was crying so hard that his top lip was sticking out. I wish there was something I could do to make it easier for him. And Zekie is so funny ~ he is always trying to help encourage Clayton to go to school ~ and Zekie was even worse in first grade! I remember his teacher calling me one day (after about 6 weeks in school) and he said, “What are we going to do about Zeke?” He would get so upset that he threw up just about every morning when he got to school. I’m just thankful that Clayton isn’t doing that! I love you so much, Morgan ~ and I miss you more everyday. XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: September 17, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you are having a great day, sweetie! We had quite a busy weekend here. Saturday we went to Sissy’s house for a pool party! She and GrandDaddy have a new swimming pool! It’s perfect for children ~ the deepest part is only five feet. It also has a seating area at one end of the pool ~ I imagine that you would be sitting there on Sissy’s lap. I know that you would have loved it. Please keep watching over Grandpa. I love you, baby girl and I miss you so much!

Date:: September 16, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a wonderful day, baby! Please keep watching over Grandpa, sweetie! I love you, and I miss you so much! XOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: September 15, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you are having a good day, sweetness. Please keep a close eye on Grandpa, sweetie! We are all very worried about him. I love you so much, baby girl! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: September 14, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope you have had a great day, sweetie! I love you, baby girl! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: September 13, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a wonderful day, baby girl! Thank you, thank you for looking after Clayton, Mo-mo. Today we took him to see the neurologist ~ your neurologist. Last week, in school he started “wiggling” his hand so badly that he could not even write. I took him to see Dr. Karp, and she referred us to the neurologist. I was so worried ~ she thought that they may want to CT scan, or other testing ~ maybe even SMA testing. It turns out that the doctor said he was PERFECT! He does not have SMA, and there is nothing else that appears to be wrong with him. He thinks that Clayton was “shaky” just because he was nervous. So, again, Mo-mo ~ thank you, thank you for watching over him ~ you are the BEST little angel! I love you and I miss you so much!

Date:: September 12, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a great day, sweetie! This morning, Clayton had a really hard time going to school. He started telling me that he was sick the minute we got into the car. I said, “Well, let’s just give it a try.” And he said, “No, Mom, I’m not going to give it the old college try!” Sometimes he says the funniest things. It was rough, though. He was just so upset ~ like I have never seen him before ~ maybe tomorrow you can stay with him ~ I know that he would love it, and he would probably feel better, too! I love you, baby girl and I miss you so much!

Date:: September 11, 2007

Today

Hello Morgan~Morgan, my sweet baby girl! I hope that your day has been better than ours (and it’s only 9:00 in the morning here)! Somebody (I think it was Sissy) told me that boys are easier than girls! Ha! She probably just thought that because Uncle Billy was so much easier than your mommy! This morning both your brothers woke up feeling bad. Clayton stayed home from school yesterday with a tummy virus, and Zekie came home early. I know that they feel bad, but I really don’t want either one of them to get too far behind this early in the school year. So I asked (well, made) both of them give school a try today. Zekie was okay ~ except for the fact that he was very tired and quiet this morning. And I thought that Clayton would be okay, but then (in the car) he told me that his tummy was hurting ~ he sat there in his car seat with his bottom lip sticking out all the way to school. He looked like he was going to burst into tears at any moment. When I took Clayton into his class, he sat down, and just rubbed the tears from his eyes. He was just trying so hard to be strong, but now I feel terrible! Please keep an eye on him, and Zekie today ~ they could both use an angel nearby. I love you, Morgan ~ and I miss you so much! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: September 10, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope you have had a wonderful day, sweetie bird! Last night, Clayton crawled into Mommy and Daddy’s bed. And this morning when I went to wake him up for school, he was still fast asleep in our bed. So, I started to make the bed the way I used to make it with you! Do you remember? I used to lay you down with your head on the pillows, and then I would pull the sheets over your head. You would squeal, “Mommy! I’m hiding! I’m hiding!” Clayton giggled the way the you always did, too! Unfortunately, it was short lived. His tummy started hurting just after he went down stairs. And even Zekie called from school today to tell me that he wasn’t feeling good either. I think that they are both on the mend, though. I love you, Morgan and I miss you so much!

Date:: September 10, 2007

Today

Date:: September 09, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope you have had a great day, baby girl! I have been meaning to tell you about something that Zekie, Clayton, and I saw a few weeks ago at Target ~ well, in the Target parking lot, anyway. It was a license plate that said, “UHI4GOT.” When Zekie and I saw it, we both immediately remembered how you would always say, “Uhhh, I forgot....KEYS!” And you would yell “KEYS!” I never knew why you would say that. Then, last week I said as we were walking out to the van, “Uh, I forgot my keys!” And I laughed, because now I know why you said that! I probably say it a lot more than I realized! And then, Clayton and I were on the interstate, and guess what?? We saw that license plate again! Can you believe it? Now Clayton has started to say, “Uhhh, I forgot....KEYS!” Thank you, Morgan for giving us so many things to remember you by! I love you and I miss you so much!

Date:: September 07, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope you are having a wonderful day, sweetness! Last night, Zekie was telling me about a paper he wrote for history. He was very happy about it because he received a “90" on it, and it was one of the highest grades in the class. He then told me that it was because of you that he got a 90! He has said things like that before ~ he always credits you and your “angel magic” with helping him. So, I told him that it was probably because he worked hard on the paper that he got the 90. Then he told me again that it was because of you, because the paper that he wrote was about...YOU! One of the books he read over the summer (his required reading) was an autobiography called “Night,” and the author had also lost his sister. So, Zekie wrote about how he could relate to the author and his feelings. I bet it was hard for him to do, though. I know that you probably already know this, but I’m very worried about Clayton. I know that you’ll be watching over him, though. I love you so much, Miss Morgan! And I miss you as always! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: September 06, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope you have had a great day, baby! Last night we met Clayton’s teachers. They seem just wonderful! I am really excited about first grade for him. Yesterday he did have to go to the nurses office for the first time (but probably not the last). He is okay ~ he just spilled his juice all over his shirt, and (from what he said) his pants, and the table, and the seat, and the floor! He probably was talking, and missed his mouth, knowing Clayton! I love you, sweet baby, and I miss you so very, very much!

Date:: September 05, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope you are having another great day, sweetie bird! Clayton had a good day yesterday! Thank you for watching over him ~ I know you were watching over quite a few people yesterday, weren’t you? He told me that he made a few new friends, and when I asked him what their names were, he said, “I have no idea!” He is just like Daddy! I talked to Sissy yesterday afternoon, and I told her that I was wondering if they would have put you in kindergarten this year, and Sissy said, “No, they wouldn’t have.” And I said, “Really, you don’t think so?” And Sissy said, “Nope ~ I think they would have put her in first grade!” You are so smart! She’s probably right! I love you, Morgan and I miss you so much!

Date:: September 04, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope you are having a wonderful day, baby girl! Today was Clayton’s first day of first grade! I was pretty nervous, but he did great! I just wish that he had waited until the van slowed down to about 5 mph before he jumped out! I’m just kidding, but seriously he hopped right out, and I when I asked him if he wanted (or would let) me walk him to his classroom, he said, “Nope! I’m fine, Mommy. Bye!” Very different from Zekie. I hope that he has a good day, and likes first grade. I was thinking about you, too ~ I wonder if they would have put you into kindergarten this year ~ probably, you are just so smart! I miss you, Morgan and I love you so very much! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: September 03, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope you have had a great day, sweetness! Today they showed your picture on the MDA telethon here, but I missed it! I was on my way home from visiting Grandma on her birthday! Daddy, Clayton, Sissy and GrandDaddy saw it, though! Tomorrow is a big day, baby girl! I know that you’ll be watching over, though. I love you, Mo-mo ~ and I miss you so much! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: September 02, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope you have had a wonderful day, baby! This morning we went to the Oceanfront, and saw all the people running in the Rock n Roll Half Marathon! It was amazing! There were miles and miles of people ~ running the Marathon! Then amazingly enough, Sissy and Zekie ran into Beverly’s husband and daughter! We think that you must have had something to do with that ~ because I knew exactly where Zekie and Sissy were, and it still took me fifteen minutes to find them! Beverly did awesome ~ she finished the race in under two and a half hours! I love you, Morgan ~ I miss you so much!

Date:: September 01, 2007

Today

9/1/07Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope you have had a great day, sweetie! Well, tomorrow is the big day! Beverly is going to run for FightSMA! We are going out to the Marathon to cheer her on! I am so thankful! And I know that you would have liked Beverly, because she is just so nice! I’d really like to get a team together for next year, and that way we could become an official charity of the Rock n Roll Half Marathon. So, that is another thing we will try to do tomorrow! I love you Morgan ~ and thank you for visiting me in my dreams so much lately! They have all been just wonderful! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: August 30, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a wonderful day, baby girl! Well, as predicted, Clayton loved it when they sang “Happy Birthday” to him! In fact, I thought he might ask them to do it again! Well, we have a big weekend planned! On Sunday morning, Beverly Coose (one of Morgan’s Buddies) is going to run in the Rock n Roll Marathon (http://www.fightsma.org/index.php?fam_morgan_tidewater to help us raise money for SMA research! She has already raised over $4,500.00. I am so grateful that so many people are so generous. And then on Monday, YOU are going to be on TV ~ well, it will just be a picture of you, but it’s very nice. It is going to be on Channel 10 WAVY at 2:15pm during the MDA telethon. Do you remember that you were on tv this weekend two years ago? Channel 10 (Stephanie Harris) did a story about you just before the MDA telethon. I remember that on Labor Day, we were on our way to Sissy’s for a cookout, and Clayton said, “Morgan was just on tv because her feet don’t work!” I think he was just tired of seeing you on tv. And you looked over at him indignantly and said, “My feet DO TO WORK!” And you wiggled your little feet. You were right! Your feet did too work! I love you so much, Morgan! And I miss you so much! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: August 29, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a wonderful day, sweetie! Today is Clayton’s 6th birthday! We went to Busch Gardens this morning, and tonight he wants to go to Applebee’s for dinner! I took Zekie to dinner at Applebee’s for his 6th birthday, and they sang, “Happy Birthday” to him! He was so embarrassed! Of course, Clayton wants to go there just because they sing! Those boys are so different! I think that you would be like Zeke ~ but maybe not ~ you always knew just how to surprise me! I love you so much, Morgan ~ and I miss you more each day!

Date:: August 27, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope you have had a great day, baby girl! This morning while I was taking Zekie to school, Clayton started talking about you ~ he told me that you and he were twins! Then he wanted to know how big he was, and how big you were, and how big Zekie was when each of you were born. He was the smallest (6 lbs. 4.5 oz), and you were next (7 lbs. 12oz.), and Zekie was the biggest (8lbs 6oz.). I was thinking about the days that each of you were born ~ you were all so different, but all just perfect! I love you, Morgan and I miss you so much!

Date:: August 26, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a great day, sweetness! This morning Sissy sent me some pictures of Clayton's birthday party. Daddy was looking at them, and I glanced over, and I thought I was looking at a picture of you! It was Clayton, but his eyes and his expression just looked like you, baby girl. I dreamed about you all night last night, too ~ I miss you so much. I love you, Morgan! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: August 25, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you are having a wonderful day, baby! Today we are having a birthday party for Clayton with his friends! This morning, we made his birthday cake ~ he is just so excited about having a BIG birthday party! Of course we made the dinosaur cake ~ the same one we have been making for the past four years for him. Do you remember it? I remember you sitting in your high chair right here in the kitchen with me ~ you always wanted to help crack the eggs, and pour (anything that I needed to pour) ~ and of course your favorite thing was to “test” the cake batter and the frosting! I’ll never forget how your eyes would light up, and you would smile when I let you try the frosting, Morgan ~ my sweet, sweet girl! This morning Clayton was testing the frosting, and guess what happened? His very loose tooth (his first loose tooth) fell out! (I think we were both in shock) So, tonight we are going to put his tooth in the little tooth pouch we made a few months ago. And we are hoping that the tooth fairy will come tonight, and leave him a quarter. I love you Morgan! I wish you were here with us to celebrate Clayton’s birthday ~ and I wish that you were here to lose your baby teeth, too. We all love you so much, baby!

Date:: August 24, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you had a great day, sweetie bird! Today I went out to check the mail, and when I walked back inside Clayton was standing at the door. Do you know what he said to me? He said, “Mommy, did you know that Morgan was walking outside with you, and right now she is hugging you?” I said, “No. I didn’t know that.” But it made me smile to think that you were ~ I hope you were, Morgan~Morgan! I love you, baby girl and I miss you so much!

Date:: August 23, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you had a wonderful day, baby girl! Zekie went back to school today. He had a great first day! I know that you are always watching over him, and I want you to know how much I appreciate that. I was thinking about you today... like always. Do you know how much I think about you, Mo-mo? I hope you do. And I hope you know how much I love you and miss you sweet girl! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: August 22, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you had a great day, baby girl! Tomorrow Zekie is going back to school! He’s going to be in the ninth grade! High School! I can’t believe it! Today we went to see a movie, and then Zeke had to get his hair cut. He really wanted to keep it long, but it looks so much better short ~ I know that you would like it! I love you, Morgan ~ my sweet baby girl ~ and I miss you so much!

Date:: August 21, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you had a wonderful day, sweetie! Guess what!?! Today our friend, Lisa (in England) e-mailed me to tell me that she saw a perfume today while she was shopping. It is made by the designer Morgan, and the bottle is...hot pink with a beautiful butterfly on it (http://nowsmellthis.blogharbor.com/blog/_archives/2006/2/20/1773744.html I was just amazed when I saw it! It made me smile, Morgan. It reminded me so much of you and so many of the things that you like all wrapped up in one little bottle! I love you, baby girl ~ and I miss you so very much!

Date:: August 20, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you had a great day, baby girl! Well, next week Clayton is going to turn six years old, so we are having a birthday party for him on Saturday. Today one of the moms called to tell me that her son would be coming to Clayton’s party. We started talking about first grade, and how you and Clayton did with Zeke going back to school every year. It was so nice to talk about you. I told her about how you never took naps ~ even as a baby, and I told her about how in the morning you would just lay in your crib and look out the window when you woke up. Zeke and Clayton both started calling for me the minute they woke up and realized they were alone. You were different ~ just content to la there (for a few minutes, anyway). I talked to her for about 15 minutes, and I just felt good after talking to her. I love you, Morgan~Morgan Saville, and I miss you so much!

Date:: August 20, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you had a wonderful day, baby girl! Yesterday morning I woke up around 5:00am, just after I had a dream about you! It was kind of strange ~ we were camping! But mostly, I just remember holding you. It was great ~ just holding you, and talking to you. Anyway, I woke up, and I was thinking about you and guess what!?!?! The toilet in our bathroom started running! And I knew no one else was awake, so it had to be you! Then last night, I was reading (Harry Potter) to Clayton and the toilet just started running again! This time Clayton said, “Morgan!” And it happened again! But, this time it was Zeke who said, “Morgan!” Oh, Morgan! We all think about you so much ~ we just miss you, sweetie bird! I love you Morgan!

Date:: August 18, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a wonderful day, sweetie! I forgot to tell you that we had two of the most beautiful caterpillars I have ever seen on our parsley plant. Clayton, Zeke and I just loved looking at them ~ but Clayton was absolutely insistent that they are called “Calerpiters,” and he corrects me every time I say caterpillar! Zekie just laughs and says, “Yeah, Mom! Don’t you know how to pronounce that by now?” He is just so funny! I think that you would have liked the caterpillars, too Morgan ~ or maybe you would just be fascinated to see them crawl around on your hands. I love you, baby girl ~ and I miss you so much!

Date:: August 16, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a wonderful day, baby girl! Today Zekie had the rest of his braces put on ~ he looks like he has a mouth full of metal! When he was done, we met Sissy and Grandma for lunch at the Chinese Buffet at the mall. I remembered the last time that we went to a buffet, and how much you and Clayton loved the cornbread! I even tried to make it at home, but it was not the same ~ at all! Today, Grandma had chocolate pudding, and I thought about how much you, Zekie, and Clayton love chocolate pudding! I have the funniest picture of you with chocolate pudding all over your face! You are so adorable, Miss Morgan! I miss you so much, and I love you always!

Date:: August 15, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a great day, sweetie! Do you want to hear something funny? I “met” a lady online about a year ago. She found your website and sent some messages to you ~ and us on your guestbook. Anyway, today she sent me an invitation to be on her friends list on Facebook.com. So, I signed in and looked at her page... and at the top of the page it gives you the option to send her an e-mail, or to “Poke her!” I saw that and I just laughed! It reminded me so much of you! You loved to poke Clayton! And he still talks about it! Sometimes out of the blue he will say, “Morgan! Stop poking me!” or “Mom! Morgan just poked me!” I even remember the night that Daddy put you in time out because you kept poking Clayton while Daddy was reading to you two! I love you so much, baby girl! Thank you for giving me a smile today!

Date:: August 14, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a wonderful day, baby! Today Sissy and I folded the FightSMA newsletters to send out. One of your buddies (a "Morgan’s Buddies") ~ Beverly is running in the Rock & Roll Half Marathon this year to raise research funding for Morgan’s Buddies/FightSMA. We have more information about the run on the FightSMA website (http://www.fightsma.org/index.php?fam_morgan_tidewater Oh Morgan ~ I'm just amazing how many people you have touched. You are such a special little girl ~ and I miss you so very much! I love you, Morgan.

Date:: August 13, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a great few days, sweetie! We went to Michigan over the weekend to visit Grandma, Grandpa, your aunts, and uncles, and cousins! I realized Saturday that it was the Annual SMA Candlelighting. It worked out perfectly because we were up in Michigan with so many of your cousins! We lit the candle and I took pictures of Zoey, Sheila, Rachel, Clayton, and Zeke. They were more then happy to light a candle in honor of you! They are all so sweet! I wish that you could have spent more time with them ~ with all of us, really! I love you, Morgan, and I miss you so much!

Date:: August 09, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a wonderful day, sweetie! Yesterday, I was cleaning in the kitchen, and I saw the little silver heart shaped jewelry box that one of my high school teachers (and one of Zeke’s) gave me last year. I opened the box, and looked at your silver bracelet and your Morgan bracelet. They are so small ~ too small for you to be in Heaven. Oh Morgan ~ I love you so very much and I always will! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: August 08, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a great day, sweetie! I did not get a chance to get on the computer last night, because Daddy was working on the computer. It has been so hot here ~ Zekie has not even gone outside to play basketball for a few days! I hope that wherever you are, you are comfortable, and happy. I love you so much, baby girl! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: August 06, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a wonderful day, sweetie! Well, tonight at dinner Clayton was back in “Clayton & Morgan” mode. We usually just eat now, it usually isn’t a comedy routine like it was when you were with us here. Naturally, he couldn’t stop talking, and since he was talking, he spilled his milk on his tummy! I told him that he could use his napkin, because it wasn’t going to hurt him ~ He just giggled that giggle that you and he both have ~ and put his napkin to his tummy, and said, “OUCH! OUCH! It’s hurting me! OUCH!” It was just the kind of diversion that you loved, so that you could put too much food in your mouth! Oh, Morgan I love you baby girl, and I miss you so much!

Date:: August 05, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan! I hope that you have had a great day, sweetness! We went out to dinner tonight ~ to celebrate Uncle Billy's birthday tomorrow! It was very nice, but I always feel like something is missing... Of course, it's you. I feel like that all the time, baby girl. I love you, Morgan, and I miss you so much! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: August 04, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a good day, sweetie! It has not been such a great day here ~ first, it has been 20 months today ~ since you went to Heaven. It’s hard to believe that you have been gone that long especially when it feels like it was just yesterday that you were here with us. Then, I was given a speeding ticket. It was strange, though... I have had two other speeding tickets in my life, and both times I was just a nervous wreck! This time, I wasn’t. It wasn’t the worst thing that could happen to me ~ and I thought (as I sat waiting for him to write the ticket) about you. It really isn’t that big a deal, anymore. I have had the worst thing in the world happen, and nothing else compares to that. I love you, Morgan and I miss you so much!

Date:: August 03, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you had a great day, sweetness! Tonight we ordered pizza ~ of course we usually do have pizza on Friday nights, but I have been making it lately. So tonight I was ordering our pizza, and they asked if we wanted thin, hand tossed, or pan crust. I immediately thought thin ~ thin crust that is what you liked the best ~ and I liked you eating because I knew that you wouldn’t choke on the thin crust! I remember you ate so much pizza! You loved your pizza! I even remember a few times that you ate more than Zeke ~ and you always ate more than Clayton! Oh Morgan! I wish I could watch you eat some pizza, baby girl! I love you sweetie and I miss you so much!

Date:: August 02, 2007

Today

Hello Miss Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a wonderful day, baby girl! Today Zekie, Clayton and I played in the pool! It was a very hot ~ but beautiful ~ day here. While I was sitting beside the pool, a dragonfly landed on my big toe, and Clayton noticed it. I must have moved and scared it away before I saw it there. But then after we had lunch, and your brothers were back in the pool ~ I saw one land on my other toe! It flew away, and came back a few minutes later and landed there again! It was so strange! I have NEVER had a dragonfly do that ~ and earlier this summer do you remember the butterfly that kept landing on my toe? This morning before we went out, I had painted my toenails that hot pink color, that I know you would have loved. Did you send that dragonfly to check out my toenail polish? I like thinking that maybe ~ just maybe you did! I love you, Morgan and I miss you so VERY much! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: August 01, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a great day, baby girl! Today Zekie, Clayton and I went to Busch Gardens. We saw a show called Pet Shenanigans ~ I think that you would have loved it! It was so funny ~ and they had all kinds of animals ~ dogs, cats, birds ~ even PIGS! When we were leaving I saw a little girl (well, not that little, she was probably about 7 years old) in a Maclaren Stroller ~ like yours. I thought about you, and how I wish that I could have seen you at 7 years old. I love you and miss you so much, Morgan!

Date:: July 31, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a wonderful day, sweetie! Clayton has started reading ~ a lot! He reads at least one book a day, and it’s just amazing to hear him actually reading (not just reciting the books like you did). This evening while I was making dinner, I started thinking about you. And it occurred to me that if you were here, you’d be reading too! I even started giggling thinking about you listening to Clayton read... and then I thought that knowing you, there is no way you would stand for not reading while Clayton was! You and Clayton were so competitive ~ in a good way! It was always so much fun to listen to the two of you do your flash card together! You would both just shout out the answers! I love you Morgan, and I miss you so much! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: July 30, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a great day, baby girl! I know that you know that Grandpa is doing better ~ thank you for watching over him, sweet girl! We are going to try to go see him and Grandma (and all your aunts, uncles, and cousins) before Zekie goes back to school. Did I tell you that I put up pictures in the stairway in the front hall? Well, I did and today I was walking down the steps and I saw your picture smiling back at me. Oh, Morgan, I feel like you were just here ~ it doesn’t seem like you have been gone that long ~ but you have. I miss you so much ~ I still just feel like I am going to lose my mind when I think about you not being here. I love you so much, Morgan Morgan Saville! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: July 29, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a wonderful day, sweetie! Yesterday afternoon we had some awful thunderstorms! We were going to go swimming at Uncle Billy and Aunt Debbie’s, but the rain was awful! I was a little bit worried about the little baby birds in the nest in our front yard, but I talked to the “bird lady,” and she told me to just watch this morning to see that the parent was still feeding them. She (or he) is, and that bird just yelled at me this morning when I went out to check on them. Tomorrow we may put the other bird back in the bush, so that he(or she) can join his siblings. I love you so much, Morgan. I wish you were here to do all this with us! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: July 27, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a great day, baby girl! I have been looking for the parents of that baby bird for the past few days, and unfortunately, I think that one of them may have run into a cat. The other one does seem pretty attentive to the nest, though. I have been talking to that wonderful lady who has the little bird at her house, and we are planning to put the baby back in the bush once the others start fledgling (which is when a young bird gains its flight feathers). She thinks that will be in three or four days. I am so glad that she has been able to feed the little bird and take care of it. She did tell me that she made him a little nest, and he is constantly getting up on the edge ~ now I see why he fell out! Any way, Zekie, Clayton and I have enjoyed this little adventure with the bird ~ and I know you would have loved it too! I love you Morgan, and I miss you so much!

Date:: July 25, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a great day, sweetie bird! Well, we had a pretty eventful morning today. This morning I found a baby bird that had fallen out of his nest. I did look up baby birds online, and I read that putting them back in the nest was the best thing for baby birds. Apparently, the story that I heard about if you touch a baby bird it’s parents will not come back is an “old wives tale.” Unfortunately, the nest was very high, and I could not reach the nest. So, Zekie, Clayton and I took the little bird to a wildlife rehabilitating expert here in Virginia Beach. She looked at the little bird and fed it, and told us that she thought it was a robin. She was just wonderful to the little bird. She was showing me how dark his skin was when I heard ~ what I thought was Zekie sneezing. As I turned around to say, “Bless you” to Zeke I saw that he had not sneezed at all. He was throwing up! It was awful ~ he threw up all over her kitchen! And, of course he felt terrible about it, and the fact that he did not feel well. I think that he has that summer flu that I had last week! But ~ what an exciting day! I love you, Morgan and miss you so much!

Date:: July 24, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a great day, sweetie! Daddy and I were talking about you last night... you know, you are his star. We love you so much, sweet girl ~ and we miss you more than I ever thought possible. I hope that you are happy, and having fun. Clayton told me the other night that you were crying, because you miss us. I hope not. I know you visit us often, and we will all be together again... one day. We love you and miss you so much! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: July 23, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a wonderful day, sweetie! I read what Lisa wrote aot the play dough today, and I was thinking about how Judy would have you try to find little things in the play dough ~ like a penny. I was also thinking about how Judy showed you how to stand your Polly Pockets dolls up in the play dough, and pull them out. We were always working you ~ weren't we? And I know you loved it! You always had so much fun! I know that sometimes you complained about having to work, but I think everybody does that! I love you, Morgan ~ and I wish more than anything that I could see you pull that little Polly Pocket doll out of some pink play dough leaving nothing but her little footprints in the dough! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: July 22, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a great day, sweetie! Today I went over to Uncle Billy and Aunt Debbie's to look over the things that we have for the SMA yard sale we are having next weekend. Aunt Debbie was telling me that the brother in law of the man who gave us all of the medical supplies for you (and two power wheelchairs) lives on a road called Morgan Road! Can you believe that? She said she was amazed that she had never noticed it before ~ thank you! We love those little surprises! I love you Morgan, and I miss you so much! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: July 21, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a great day, sweet girl! We did not do much today ~ I still seem to have that bug! Hopefully, tomorrow I will be back to old self! I love you and miss you so much, Mo-mo! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: July 20, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a great day, sweetie bird! Yesterday morning I woke up around 3:00 am with a fever ~ of almost 102! I can’t remember the last time I had a fever over 100. I went to the doctor, and he said I had the summer flu! It was awful, but I feel much better today. Speaking of today... tonight (well, really tomorrow) at 12:01am the last Harry Potter book goes on sale. Of course, Daddy and Zekie will be at Barnes & Noble to get the new book. Today I was thinking about the day that you were diagnosed with SMA. It was June 20, 2003, and Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix went on sale on June 21, 2003 at 12:01am. I remember telling Daddy not to worry about going ~ it had been such a terrible day for us. But he said he wanted to go and take Zekie. When Daddy did that, it told me that we were going to be okay with SMA in our life. And we were. We were okay with SMA in our lives, and we had you. It was the best time of my life living with you, Zekie, Clayton, and Daddy. Thank you so much for being our little girl! We love you and miss you so much, Morgan! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: July 18, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a great day, sweetness! A few weeks ago I went over to Sissy’s house to get some of her “volunteer” impatiens. I planted some of them in the side yard, and they are every color imaginable ~white, off white, pink, hot pink, red, orange, purple, lavender, salmon ~ you name it! It is very pretty, so I thought I would transplant a few more in the other side yard next to the pool. Well, the flowers have just blossomed on a few of the impatiens and guess what color they are? HOT PINK! All of them! I am so glad that they are ~ I think that you would have liked the hot pink one right by your swimming pool! I love you, Morgan and I miss you so much! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: July 17, 2007

Today

Hello Funny Girl! I hope that you have had a fantastic day! This morning I was getting dressed in my dressing area next to our bathroom, and guess what?? The toilet started running! It scared me so much I jumped! I have NEVER heard that toilet run like that, and I thought it was pretty funny that it would happen while I was right next to the bathroom! I hope that it was a little sign from you! I really miss you right now ~ the summer (and fall, and winter, and spring) is just a hard time of year. I love you Mo-mo and I miss you so much!

Date:: July 16, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a great day, sweetie bird! Today I went to register Clayton for the first grade! He is going to be going to the same school that you were enrolled in ~ even if you did not go there. When I was there one of the secretaries said that she remembered you. It was very nice. I just loved your teacher Miss Ellen! I wish that you had been able to spend more time with her ~ I know that you would have loved her. I hope that Clayton’s teacher is just as wonderful as Miss Ellen was. I love you, Morgan and I miss you so much!

Date:: July 15, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a wonderful day, sweetie! Tomorrow Clayton starts Vacation Bible School, and tonight we went to the "kick-off" party for it. It was nice ~ they had cotton candy (which Clayton loved ~ and YOU would have loved), snowcones, a dunking booth, and an air jumper thing! It was all out in the front of the church ~ right next to your garden. It was nice that we were so close to you ~ but I really do miss you ~ more and more all the time! I love you so much, Mo-mo! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: July 14, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a great day, sweetie! This afternoon Zekie and I were playing a game on the kitchen table, right in front of the bay window, and a huge black and blue butterfly flew by. It looked so much like the one we saw at Natural Bridge on Thursday (in fact, the buterfly we saw there was so beautiful I actually took a picture of it). Then this buttefly just flitted from the deck back to the window ~ to the deck, to the window. It flew ight around there for about five minutes ~ which seems like a long time for a butterfly to hang around ne place. It made us think of you... I love you so much Morgan ~ and we all miss you so very much!

Date:: July 13, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope you have had a great day sweetie! Well, we are back from picking Zekie up from basketball camp at Virgina Tech! He worked so hard there! He played basketball for over 10 hours everyday! I was very nervous about him being gone, but he did fine. He was just very HOT, and tired!Yesterday they had the final tournament. Clayton and I were thrilled to be able to see it. Zekie did so great! I was so proud of him! His team won by one point and they were each given a medal for winning! I know that if you were here, you would have been cheering the loudest for Zekie! I love you, Morgan, and I miss you so much!

Date:: July 11, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have a wonderful day today and tomorrow. Clayton and I are going to pick up Zekie. Well, we don't actually get him until tomorrow, but we are heading out to Blacksburg today. Zekie is having a good time, and he has made a lot of friends. We should be home late tomorrow night. I love you so much baby girl! And I miss you! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: July 11, 2007

Today

7/10/07 Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you had a wonderful day today. Clayton had his six year old well check appointment today with Dr. Mink. He had to get one booster shot, and a they did a little blood draw. He is fine ~ in fact, he is in the 75th percentile for height, and 50th for weight. I always thought he was smaller ~ well, compared to you and Zeke, I guess he is. You and Zeke were always in the 105th, or 110th for height! Clayton told Dr. Mink that he was a little bit worried about whether or not he had an uvula! It's that thing that hangs down in the back of your throat, and (as Dr. Mink said) looks like a punching bag. Dr. Mink showed Clayton his, and now he can rest easier knowing that he has one, and it is fine. Clayton took your little pink beanie baby kittie cat with us ~ I'm not sure why, but I think he just wants to feel closer to you. He has also been playing with your Polly Pockets ~ of course, they are always in some sort of peril, and the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle have to rescue them! I like your toys to be played with, I just wish that you were here to play with them, or say "Clayton! No!" I love you, Morgan, and I miss you so much!

Date:: July 09, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a great day, sweetie! Last night we did not get back until very late from taking Zekie to camp, so I did not get a chance to write to you, but I know you know I was thinking about you. This morning I woke up just after dreaming about you ~ it was one of those dreams that you forget as soon as you wake up, but I just knew that I had been with you. I love that time with you! Well, you sure did do a good job of watching over people today. Grandpa had a better day today, and Zekie had a great day! Thank you so much for watching over them! You are such a good angel! I love you so much, Morgan! And I miss you so much! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: July 07, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a great day, sweetie! Today I have been packing up Zekie to go to basketball camp! I am really going to miss him! Please watch over him and make sure that he is safe this week. I know you will, baby girl! I love you so much and I miss you!

Date:: July 06, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a great day, sweetie! I meant to tell you that the other day I was looking at the Lamb’s Ear plant in the backyard. The blossoms are gone now, but when I looked at it I thought, “Oh, the flowers are gone, but they sure were beautiful while they were here.” Then I started to think about you. You aren’t here, but you were just brilliant while you were here. It felt like it was the first time that I have been able to really feel thankful for the time that we had with you. Oh, I say how grateful I am, but I usually feel cheated out of more time with you, too. But that was the first time, I did not feel anything but grateful. Were you trying to send that message to me? I hope that was it. I love you, Mo-mo and I miss you so much!

Date:: July 05, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you had a FANTASTIC Fourth of July, baby girl! I hope that you had a wonderful view of all the fireworks! We did not go to see the fireworks here in Virginia Beach. Zeke has never liked them, and Clayton does not like loud noises (isn’t that ironic?) ~ maybe I should have said Clayton does not like “other” loud noises! We had a nice day, though. Today I am going to try to organize Zekie’s clothes for camp. He will be leaving this weekend ~ I am really going to miss him! But I know that you will always be near, my sweet girl. I love you, Morgan and I miss you so much!

Date:: July 02, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you had a wonderful day, sweetie! Today I was thinking about the time that you, Zekie and I went to Glazen Go Nuts in Nags Head! I was thinking about the plate that you and I made... So, I had to pull out all the plates you all made. I remember that I wanted to have the kitchen covered with plates that you and your brothers made, but after you went to Heaven, I just have not kept up with it. Maybe I will, though. I found two plates that you made. The first one was when you were only about 18 months old! It is so cute! It has your hand print on it where you tried to touch the butterfly design. The next year (in 2005) you helped me write your name with your finger, and you made a little starfish with your finger, too! I’m so glad I have these, Morgan! I love you and I miss you so much! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: July 01, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you had a great day, baby girl! Today we had butterflies all over the back yard! It was amazing ~ monarchs, white ones! They were everywhere! And Lisa e-mailed me today and told me that when her little girl Mackenzie sees your picture, she says, “That Morgan - friend.” Isn’t that sweet? I love that you have friends here on Earth, sweetie! You are such a special little girl! I love you, Morgan and I miss you so much! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: June 30, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope you have had a wonderful day, sweetie! I just wanted to tell you how much I love you and miss you! I love you, baby girl! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: June 29, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you had a great day, baby girl! I forgot to tell you yesterday that I was over at Sissy and GrandDaddy’s and they played a tape that had you (and the rest of us) Easter of 2003. You were just a baby! You were about 5 months old ~ and it was before we found out that you had SMA. I was on the video holding you, and telling Aunt Debbie and Kim that I played with you by putting your hands on your hips and saying, “Daddy, take me to the mall!” And how Daddy would say, “Stacy! Don’t start teaching her that!” Not that you needed my help! You loved to go shopping ~ especially for shoes! I love you, Mo-mo, and I miss you so much!

Date:: June 28, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you had a great day, baby! Well, guess what?!? I had another dream about you last night! I dreamed that we were at a “fun house.” I don’t know what else to call it. It was like a child care center, but it only had four different activities. One was really weird ~ I think it was swimming with alligators with no teeth. When they bit the children they just laughed, and squealed. Strange, hum? Naturally, I decided that wasn’t a good activity for you and Clayton, so we went to the swings. I was pushing you on the swings, and you were just laughing and giggling. Clayton wasn't laughing because he was concentrating on “pumping” to swing himself. Then a little boy came over with a chocolate ice cream cone. It was chocolate ice cream, dipped in chocolate (like at Dairy Queen) with pink and white sprinkles on the top. He came over to you and offered you a bite, and (this is so NOT me) I let you eat a bite, and even more! That's when I woke up, shaking my head thinking I would NEVER do that! It was funny though, and nice, because I feel like I was able to spend some time with you ~ while you were laughing and happy! I love you Morgan so much! And I miss you more each day!

Date:: June 27, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you had a wonderful day, sweetie bird! Yesterday Zeke was on the computer (he found a way to check out library audio books online) so I did not get a chance to get on the computer, but I was thinking about you ~ like always! I hung pictures up in the stairway of you and Clayton and Zekie. I have eight of them, and it looks wonderful! I love seeing all of your smiling faces as I walk down the stairs! I love you, Mo-mo! And I miss you, baby girl ~ SO MUCH!

Date:: June 25, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you had a great day, baby! I forgot to tell you yesterday that I was printing out a picture of you. (I am putting some pictures of you, Zekie and Clayton on the wall up the stairs.) Anyway, I was printing out your picture, and Clayton walked by and started laughing and said, “Hey! Who put my face on Morgan’s body?” He thought that Zekie (or I) had been playing with the pictures! But it was your face! You and Clayton just look so much alike, he thought it was him. When I printed out the picture I was looking at it, and guess what I noticed? There I go again with the “guess what!” I noticed that the little orange Halloween ribbon was on your wrist in that picture. It was such a nice surprise, because I just “found” that ribbon again last week! Oh, Morgan! I love you, my baby girl ~ and I miss you so much!

Date:: June 24, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you had a wonderful day, sweetie! Well, today I was out on the deck reading, and guess what!?! (All these “guess whats” ~ I think I’ve been hanging around Clayton too much ~ that is his favorite saying!) Anyway, a beautiful butterfly landed on my book! It was black with orange triangles on the bottom half of it. After it sat on my book for a few minutes, it flew over to my toes, and then it hopped from one toe to the next ~ like it was looking at my hot pink toenail polish! A few minutes later I came inside and I had an e-mail from Terri (Samuel’s mom). She sent me a picture of her with a ladybug on her shoulder! You sure have been busy! Haven’t you? I love you Morgan and I miss you so much!

Date:: June 23, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you had a wonderful day, baby girl! I just wanted to tell you how much I love you and miss you, sweet girl! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: June 22, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you had a great day, sweetie! Well, yesterday we went to Busch Gardens, and guess what?!? Every time we saw a place that had funnel cakes, Sissy and I talked about how much you loved that funnel cake we bought you at the carnival we went to! This week your cousin is going to camp. I hope that you will watch over her this week, and make sure she has a lot of fun. I love you, Mo-mo and I miss you so much!

Date:: June 21, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you are having a wonderful day, baby girl! Today we are going to Busch Gardens with Sissy, so I thought I would write to you now. The other day Clayton and I put together his photo album ~ we have a few for you, and a few for Zeke, but we did not have one for Clayton (the poor middle child). Some of the pictures were of you, Zeke, Clayton, and me on that roller coaster we went on two years ago. Wow! Did you have a big smile on your face! I’m so glad we went on that roller coaster, Mo-mo! It was so much fun! I’ll be thinking about you today, sweetie! I love you and miss you so much!

Date:: June 20, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you had a great day, baby girl! It has been rainy here, so your brothers and I have just been inside most of the day today. I was going through one of our cabinets in the kitchen today, and I found the squishy round pencil holders that you used to write with. I love coming across your things, sweetie bird! I just wish that you were still here with us to use them... I love you, Morgan and I miss you so much!

Date:: June 19, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you had a great day, sweetie! Okay, I know that you were up to something today! When I was at the doctors office this morning... guess what!?! The light flickered! Just once, but I know that it was you. The last time I was there and a light flickered ~ it was a different lamp! The one closest to me both times! You are such a sweet little girl! And thank you so much for staying close to me! I love you and miss you so much!

Date:: June 18, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a wonderful day, baby girl! I woke up last night (well, this morning) at 2:36, and I was looking for you in my room. I had had a dream about you ~ and you were here. I was changing your clothes because we were going somewhere. And when I woke up, I knew that you were there ~ in my room. It was very strange, but nice. I love feeling close to you, Mo-mo! I love you sweet girl, and I miss yu so much! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: June 16, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan! I hope that you have had a great Saturday, baby girl! Tomorrow is Father's Day. Today I was looking at the plaster hand print you made for Daddy a few years ago for Father's Day. How I wish we could have made some this year. I love you, Morgan and we miss you so much! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: June 15, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you had a great day, baby girl! You know how I have always liked to give you all (you, Zeke and Clayton) “fun sheets” or worksheets to do in the morning? Well, today Clayton told me that he did not want to do them anymore. (Of course, he can’t play on the computer, watch TV, or go swimming unless he does them.) He told me that none of his friends mommys made them do worksheets during the summer. That’s okay I told him, because I am not their mommy. Then he said I was treating him like a baby, and he was just going to have to move out if I didn’t stop. I offered to help him pack a bag, but apparently he did not have a destination so he decided to do the worksheets. I know he really does like doing them, although not as much as you did. You always loved going to do your work! I had so much fun with you and Clayton doing your work. You always amazed me! He did (and still does) too. Thank you for being my little girl, Morgan! I love you and I miss you so much!

Date:: June 14, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you had a wonderful day, sweetie! Last night the computer wasn’t working right, and I was a little depressed. I found your Halloween “bracelet” in my bathroom drawer last night. It was that piece of orange ribbon with the black pumpkins that I tied around your wrist, and your said, “It’s my bracelet!” I just miss you so much, Morgan. I love you, sweetie bird!

Date:: June 12, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope you have had a great day today, sweetie! We went swimming in the pool this afternoon, and Clayton was doing the back float. He looked so much like you. I wish you were here walking around the pool, and doing the back float, sweetie! I love you, and miss you so much!

Date:: June 11, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you had a wonderful day, baby girl! Last night after I read to Clayton, we started talking about you. He was so sad ~ of course, I am too ~ but he told me he misses you infinity infinity (that wasn’t a typo, he said it twice)! It was just heartbreaking to watch him fight back tears as he told me how much he loves you. We all miss you so much, Mo-mo. Thank you for staying close to us. I love you and miss you so much!

Date:: June 10, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you had a great day, sweetie! Today we bought Zekie’s summer reading books! He sure is in for a lot of reading this summer! We ran into his 1st grade teacher at Barnes & Noble, and he couldn’t believe that Zekie is taller than me ~ neither do I, so I keep telling him he’s shorter than me! I love you, Mo-mo and I miss you so much!

Date:: June 09, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you had a wonderful day, sweetie! Tonight Zekie is having a pool party with his friends from school to celebrate graduating from 8th grade. Aunt Debbie bought a ton of balloons and decorations for the party. She even found some very cool tropical graduation plates and napkins. She also bought a special T-Rex balloon for Clayton. It reminded me of the time that she brought you that birthday balloon with 5 or 6 smaller balloons attached to the biggest one. You had so much fun playing with it, and it was so big! I love you and miss you so much!

Date:: June 08, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you had a wonderful day, baby girl! My baby girl! I am really missing you today, sweetie. Maybe it’s because you haven’t been playing with your kitchen set today. And maybe it’s just because I just miss you. I love you, Mo-mo ~ so very much!

Date:: June 07, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you had a great day, sweetie! I wanted to tell you about our trip to Motor World. Yesterday, while Zekie was at his friends party, I took Clayton to ride on some rides too. Clayton was on the Jr. Stock track, while Zekie was on the Outlaw track, so I could see both of them driving at the same time! And I have to tell you, one of your brothers is a very cautious driver, and the other one is NEVER going to get a license! One of them was driving like my Papa did, while the other one was spinning out on the track! And you’ll never guess who was the cautious one, and who was the crazy one! Zekie was the CRAZY driver! And Clayton was the cautious one! I was completely surprised! Zekie was having just a blast with his friends, and Clayton (the only driver on the Jr. Track) was holding onto the steering wheel with both hands, looking to the left and right, and did not hit anything! In fact, he did his own little “safety check” before he got into the car, and asked the attendant why he did not have a brake petal. He was so funny, he said, “Excuse me, my car does not have a brake.” And then he pointed to where the petals should be, “It has a green petal, but not a red.” The man told him that all you have to do is let your foot off the gas to brake, but Clayton looked a little skeptical, and the first thing he did when he start up was to test whether or not that actually worked! Meanwhile, I don’t think that Zekie even noticed whether or not he even had a brake! It was fun to watch them, Mo-mo and I KNOW that you would have loved it! I love you, Morgan and I miss you so much! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: June 07, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you had a wonderful day, baby girl! Well, you have been on my mind all day! Today I was driving behind an ambulance, and I really didn’t notice anything about it except that it was an ambulance. We stopped at a light, and that is when I saw that it was KD1. One of the Childrens Hospital of the Kings Daughters ambulances! And it is THE one that you and I rode in to Norfolk from Elizabeth City in March 2005. Then I was taking Zekie to a party at Motor World, and we drove by Mt. Trashmore, and I saw the carnival. The same carnival that you, Zekie, Clayton, Sissy and I went to two years ago! I remember the way you just loved the roller coaster, and the funnel cake that Sissy bought you! Then at Motor World, Clayton went on the Motor World Express roller coaster, and it was just like the one that we had gone on that day at Mt. Trashmore. Thank you for all the memories I have of you, Morgan! I love you and miss you so much! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: June 05, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you had a super day, sweetie bird! Today was the first day of summer break for both Zekie and Clayton. The only thing missing was YOU! But I know that you are staying close to us right now. I heard your kitchen set make some cooking noises very early this morning, but I have not heard it all afternoon. I love you, Morgan and I miss you so much!

Date:: June 04, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you had a great day, sweet girl! Last night I woke up about an hour after I fell asleep ~ I had had another dream about... YOU! We were playing in the swimming pool ~ you were walking around the sides, and we were playing the “bunny hop” game! It was just wonderful, and then I woke up. I have had a lot of dreams about you ~ that I remember ~ lately. I am so thankful for them. Clayton told me today that you were playing in the den with your cooking toys. It’s pretty funny, because this morning (around 5:30) I came down to the kitchen, and I heard the toy phone ring on your little kitchen set. I hope that you have been playing with your toys Mo-mo! I love you and miss you so much!

Date:: June 03, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you had a wonderful day, sweetie! Today has been yucky and rainy here, so we went out to see a movie ~ it was nice, but I am always afraid that Clayton is going to disappear on me! He moves so much! Tomorrow Zekie is going to graduate from 8th grade, and the middle school. That means next year he will be in High School! I can’t believe it! It seems like he was just starting first grade. I love you, Mo-mo and I miss you so much!

Date:: June 02, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you had a great day, sweetie! Today Clayton had his tee ball party at the beach! Unfortunately, his tummy started to hurt, so we had to leave. He did get a very nice trophy though, and he loves it! He always did really well the first inning, but I think after that he just started getting bored. He was much better at soccer ~ but then he did have the worlds greatest little cheerleader cheering him on! (Of course, that would be... YOU!) After the party, I went to the hospital, and took little Janay (the little girl with SMA) some rice socks. They worked really well keeping her legs straight. Clayton was very upset this morning that I was making rice socks for someone else. He said that I can only love and care about one little girl with SMA, and that was his sister! Of course, you will ALWAYS be my girl with SMA, but I do care about other people with SMA, too! I love you, Morgan and I miss you so much!

Date:: June 01, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you had a wonderful day, sweetie bird! Well, today is Clayton’s first day of summer break, and he has already just about talked my ears off! Yesterday he had his kindergarten graduation ceremony. It was so nice. After getting their certificates, the children sang two songs for us. The second one was (to the tune of New York, New York) “Start spreading the news, We’re leaving today. We’re going to be a part of it. First Grade! First Grade!” It was so sweet ~ I think that you would have just loved it! Afterward we all had a picnic in the church yard. It was such a nice day. But, as with every special occasion, I missed you. I thought about how my baby girl was not going to walk or roll across the stage. It’s just not fair, Morgan. I miss you so much. I love you, baby girl!

Date:: May 31, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you had a great day, baby girl! Well, this morning I woke up at 5:00. I had had a dream about you. I don’t remember all of it, but I do remember that it was one of the those dreams where we lost you, again. It was just awful, but not as bad as really losing you. When I woke up, I was hoping that the last 18 months had just been a bad dream... but, no. Maybe I had that dream because last night Clayton walked into his bedroom (while I was trying to get him dressed after his bath) holding your little butterfly beanie baby. I have had it on my dresser ever since you were sick in October 2005. He said, “I miss Morgan” with tears in his eyes. I told him that I know he does. Then he said, “We all miss Morgan so much. Even Morgan’s Buddies!” Yes. We do. We all miss you so much. He asked Zekie, “Do you miss Morgan as much as we do?” and Zekie said, “Yes!” So then he asked Zekie why he doesn’t talk about how much he misses you. Zekie just said, “I do.” I think that Zekie just doesn’t like to talk about how he feels, and he is always trying to protect me, and make me feel better. After that, Clayton walked back into our room, and suddenly he started playing with my jewelry that was on the dresser. He has NEVER done that before! He saw an ankle bracelet with little pink and yellow flowers (that I think you would have loved) and he wanted to put it on. I think that the things that remind me of you, remind him of you, too. I love you so much, Morgan and I miss you! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: May 30, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you had a wonderful day, sweetie! Last night I went to go visit Grandma, so I didn’t get a chance to write, but I know you know I was thinking about you. Yesterday was Clayton’s last tee ball game, and I noticed that hanging up right behind his tee ball uniform in the laundry room, was your pink bathing suit, or as you like to say your “zucchini!” I really miss you ~ I miss not swimming in the pool with you and bouncing around playing “the bunny hop.” Tomorrow Clayton is graduating from Kindergarten! I know you would be ~ and probably are really proud of him. You are such a good sister! I love you, Mo-mo and I miss you so much! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: May 27, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you had a wonderful day, baby!! Well, last night while Zeke was at his party, I went to CHKD to visit Janay ~ another little girl with SMA here. She will be two years old next month. I was very worried about how I would react... what memories I would have come back to me, but it was fine. Janay is a lot like you, but also very much her own person. She is so smart ~ just like you! She was looking at one of the SMA shirts that I brought her mom, and she started telling me all the colors ~ and pointing them out! Yellow, Red, Purple! And she was trached less than two weeks ago! She is doing really well! One thing that really REALLY reminded me of you was when she was holding my hand, and she turned it over to look at my diamond ring, and she said, “Wow!” You just loved my wedding ring. I wish I could put it on your finger again, baby girl! I love you and I miss you so much! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: May 27, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you had a great day, sweetie! Well, it has been PARTY DAY here, today! Clayton went to your cousin, Hayden’s party today. Sissy took him to the party, and he had the best time! Then, this evening Zeke went to a birthday party for one of his friends. It was a “murder/mystery” party, and all of the guests were assigned characters to dress up as. Zekie was a DJ, and it was suggested that he dress a little “outlandish.” It’s kind of funny, because the only DJ we know is always dressed very nicely! I love you, Morgan, and I miss you so very much! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: May 25, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you had a wonderful day, baby girl! Today Zekie, Clayton, and I had some shopping to do and you will never believe what I found! A baseball hat that says “Lake Morgan!” Of course, I had to have it! Thank you for all the little signs. I hope you know how much I love you and miss you! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: May 24, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you had a beautiful day, baby girl! Clayton told me that he had been practicing for graduation, and then Zekie said he had been practicing for graduation, too! Clayton is "graduating" from Kindergarten next week, and the following week Zeke is "graduating" from the Middle School to the Upper School. So, we have two graduations in the next two weeks. And then they will be out for the summer, which will be nice! Daddy called me today and said that I should go outside in the sun and read a book! At first, I thought I have so many things to do around the house... and then he said, “It’s a beautiful day!” So, I did it, and it was a beautiful day. I love you and miss you so much! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: May 23, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you had a wonderful day, sweetie! Well, the lights flickered last night when I was reading to Clayton, also! Thank you so much! I miss reading to you! You always wanted “just one more story!” You always amazed me the way that you could memorize an entire book! You are such a smart little girl! Tonight I was talking to a mom of a little girl that was just diagnosed with SMA here. She is in the hospital at CHKD, also. I was telling her about how when you were in the hospital, you were dehydrated, and when you cried, you didn’t have any tears, so you told me, “Mommy, I’m crying.” I wish I could hear you call me Mommy again... I love you and miss you so much, Morgan! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: May 22, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you had a great day, sweet girl! Today I was in the waiting room (at my doctors office) and guess what? The lamp right beside me flickered. It was kind of strange, because I have NEVER seen lights flicker in a doctors office. I smiled, and thought, “Four year olds love to play with the lights!” I love you, Mo-mo and I miss you so much! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: May 22, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you had a wonderful day yesterday, baby girl! Well, guess who was on the computer all night last night? Daddy! That’s okay, because he had a lot of work to do! Yesterday I was cleaning the kitchen floor, and I found a purple sequin! I have no idea where it came from, but all I could think of was YOU! I love little treasures like that. Clayton’s school pictures came back yesterday, also. They are so sweet. He just looks like a doll! They took them at our church in one of the gardens. Behind Clayton in the picture there are azaleas! Guess what color?!? Hot Pink! It reminds me of you, sweetie! I love you and miss you so much! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: May 20, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you had a great day, sweetie bird! This morning Daddy and I changed our room around ~ really we just moved the bed to where the dresser was, and the dresser to where the bed was. Anyway, I was cleaning off the dresser, and guess what I found... a little glittery butterfly sticker that came off your toe! It still had the nail polish on it. It was wonderful, and after I finished cleaning the dresser all off, I put it back on the dresser ~ just where I found it. Then this afternoon, Sissy, Aunt Debbie, Nana (Aunt Betty Anne) and I all went on the Tour de Cuisine, and in one of the homes, we saw that they had a sink that had hand painted butterflies in the sink basin. It was so nice, and nice to know that you were with us on our “Girls Day Out!” It wouldn’t have been the same without you. Thank you so much for sending the butterflies today, sweet girl! I love you and I miss you so much! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: May 19, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you had a wonderful day, baby girl! Last night I went to visit Grandma, and I did not get a chance to write to you, but I know you know I was thinking about you! My computer time has been somewhat limited for the past few days, because I bought your brothers a new computer game called, “Sea World Tycoon.” They are both such little CAPITALISTS! But, I know that if you were here, you’d be right in there with them! Today Daddy had to go into work, and Zekie went to the movies, so it was just Clayton and me here. I tried to get him outside on the deck to read to him ~ like I used to do with you, but he wanted no part of it! He just wants to play when he is outside ~ which is fine, but I do miss reading to you, sweetie bird. I love you, Mo-mo, and I miss you so much! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: May 17, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you had a wonderful day, sweetie! Today I had conferences with Clayton teacher, so Clayton did not have school. So, I took him to MacArthur Mall to get shoes. I have needed to get him shoes for about a week now, but I just kept putting it off. Anyway, I thought that since he had the day off we would go. We went to the Vans Store where I normally get his shoes, and nothing fit him! He tried on 8 pairs of shoes, but his feet are just too wide! So, we went to the Stride Rite store, and the first pair the salesperson suggested were a perfect fit! We sat down in front of the toddler shoes, and right in front of me were little girl shoes. And guess what they had decorative butterflies on them. The funny thing is that I have never seen shoes like that until yesterday when Lisa emailed me a picture of the shoes she bought for Mackenzie ~ that had butterflies on them! Isn’t that a funny coincidence? You are so smart, Morgan! I love you and miss you very much! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: May 16, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you had a great day, sweetie! You are never going to believe this! Last night when I was posting my letter to you, Clayton was sitting on my lap, and he started reading the letter! He read almost every word by himself! I could not believe it! He’s been reading his “Beginning Readers” books, but I was still taken by surprise when he just started reading. I told Daddy about it tonight, and he said, “Are you writing to Morgan on a Kindergarten reading level?” Then he said that maybe I should start using “sentence enhancers” (insert a dolphin squeak here) ~ like Sponge Bob! I love you so much, sweet girl... and I miss you more everyday! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: May 15, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you had a wonderful day, sweetie! This morning Clayton woke up and came downstairs. He gave me a big hug (like he always does) and then he said he had to draw a picture. He went over to his drawer and pulled out his pad of paper and drew a picture with a head, two eyes, a mouth, and two bows on her head. Then he drew her arms, body and legs. Then he drew a box around this girl. It was actually a cradle, and the little girl was you! He asked me to draw some Z’s around the top of the cradle, and told me it was a picture of you sleeping in your cradle! Then he said, “I miss Morgan.” And I said, “I do, too. We all do.” We do, Mo-mo. We all miss you so much! I love you, baby girl! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: May 14, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you had a great day, sweetie! Have you been playing with ceiling fans again? Tonight Aunt Debbie told me that she had a dream last night where she heard a clicking sound ~ like the sound of a ceiling fan going on and off ~ and (in the dream) when she walked into the room, the room was empty except for the ceiling fan. It reminded me of the night that Jennifer and Matt’s ceiling fan ~ and light went on in the middle of the night! You sure are busy, aren’t you? I think that you just want us all to know that you are near. I love you, Morgan! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: May 13, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you had a wonderful day, baby girl! Today we had brunch at our house with Sissy, GrandDaddy, Nana (Aunt Betty Anne), Uncle Billy, Aunt Debbie, Tory, Bill and Emily. Aunt Debbie gave me a Mother’s Day card with... LADYBUGS all over it! She said it just popped out at her. I think that you have been very busy letting us know you are near. So close, yet so far... I took Zekie and Clayton to see a movie this afternoon. It was nice, and I had a wonderful time with them, but as always... I just miss you so much. Every happy occasion always has a little sadness with it, because I just ache to hold you again. I love you so much, my sweet baby girl! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: May 12, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a wonderful day, sweetie! I forgot to tell you last night about yesterday. Clayton had a Mother’s Day Tea at school. We (all the moms) waited outside the classroom, and each child came out to the hallway to escort us to our seats (very tiny seats ~ I was actually seated in Clayton’s chair). He came out and gave me a hug and then a rosebud made with two Hershey Kisses. Then he took my hand and walked me to my seat, and he pulled the seat out for me to sit down. It was so sweet! Then he asked me what I would like to eat and drink, and he brought it over to me. All the children sang a song and the chorus part was “Saying I love you.” Every time he sang it I was in tears ~ but most of the other moms were, too! At the end of the Tea, they gave us each a beautiful piece of artwork with their hand prints on it. Clayton decorated his with butterflies and ladybugs, and Jacob’s mom said, “Do you think he did that for Morgan?” (I told her all about you and ladybugs!) I told her that he probably had. Later when I asked him about it, he said he had been thinking about you when he put the ladybugs and butterflies on it. After the Tea, I ran out to the store, and GUESS WHAT!?!? The van that was parked in front of me had “LAEEBUG” on the license plate, and the license plate holder was covered with ladybugs! As soon as I saw it, I thought “That Morgan!” Thank you for your special messages, Morgan! I love you and miss you so much! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: May 11, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a great day, sweetie! Thank you for watching over Erinne today! Her surgery went well, and she grew 17 cm! Amazing! Isn't it? You are such a wonderful little angel, sweet girl! I know that you already know this, but our fish "Fishsteak" has gone to Heaven. I think he has missed you for a long time, and he just wanted to be with you. I know that you will take good care of him for Daddy! I love you and miss you so much, Morgan! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: May 10, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope you have had a great day, sweetie! Tonight Clayton has his spring show at school and I am not sure how late we will be. I hope that you can catch some of it, but I know that you are busy this week! I just found out that Charlie had his spinal surgery this week, too! Ad from what I have read he is doing great. But I'm sure that you have been keeping an eye on him. I know that you remember Lily (Charlie's sister) that you and Alyssa played with at the SMA Support Gathering here. Please keep a watch on Erinne tomorrow, and keep on watching after Malorie and Charlie. I love you, Morgan, and I miss you so much! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: May 09, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a wonderful day, sweetie! Today I went to CHKD for the first time since you were there last... A little girl with SMA is in the PICU there, and I went to visit with her and her family. I hope that she will recover quickly. Thank you for staying close to me today ~ I know you were. Maybe you could watch over her for the next few days, as well as Malorie Fox. Malorie had her spinal surgery (I think it was over four hours long) yesterday, but she was extubed today, and doing great! I love you and miss you so much! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: May 08, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a great day, sweetie! Guess what? This afternoon I was shredding my old checks ~ from 1996, and the check on top was dated May 8th, 1996! I thought that was very strange that I had a stack of over 200 checks and the one on top had was the same date, just a different year. That is quite a coincidence, don’t you think? Also, today I received a package from my good friend, Andrea in South Carolina. She was vacationing on the Outer Banks (because she loved it there so much when she took the trip she won at SMArgaritaville) and she saw a little angel ornament at a restaurant. She found out where they sold them, and she bought one for me that says, “Morgan.” It is just beautiful ~ it has purple and blue angel wings. I know that you would love it! It was so nice of her to think about you, and to send it to us. I hung it up on one of our front windows so that we can see it everyday! I love you and miss you so much! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: May 07, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a wonderful day, sweetie! Do you want to hear something funny? This morning Zekie and I were waiting for Sissy (she had just called and said that she was almost to our house) and out of the blue, I started singing, “She’ll be coming round the corner when she comes!” (Of course, I was singing to the tune of, “She’ll be coming ‘round the mountain.”) Do you remember how you, Clayton and I would sing that and make Zekie roll his eyes at us? It was so funny! We just laughed and laughed ~ and of course, Zekie thought that we were just weird! “She’ll be coming round the corner when she comes! She’ll be coming round the corner when she comes! She’ll be coming round the corner, she’ll be coming round the corner, she’ll be coming round the corner when she comes! She’ll be driving a silver Buick when she comes!...” I don’t know where that came from today, and I haven’t thought about it in a year and five months and three days... but I thought about it today, and the first thing I thought of when I started singing it was you! I love you Morgan and I miss you so much! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: May 06, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope you had a great day, baby girl! We went over to Sissy and GrandDaddy's tonight to see Aunt Jean and Uncle Sam. It was so nice to see them. I love you so much, Mo-mo! And I miss you so much! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: May 05, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a great day today, sweetie. Clayton had a teeball game this morning. This evening, I was going to try to go see Janay, a little girl here with SMA. She has pneumonia and she is in the hospital at CHKD. I hope that you will watch over her for the next few days... and then, Erinne! She is going in for surgery on Friday. Her second spinal surgery! I'm really keeping you busy, lately, aren't I? I love you so much, Mo-mo! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: May 04, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a wonderful day, sweetie! I just wanted to say hi, and tell you I love you and miss you so much! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: May 03, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a great day, baby girl! Today Aunt Betty Anne (Nana) sent me an e-mail about our cousin, Nonna Faye’s granddaughter, Krista. She has spina bifida. She has just had an operation, and is in a lot of pain. I was hoping that you could watch over her, and maybe just spend some time with her to help comfort her. You are such a wonderful angel, sweetie bird! I just wish you were still here on Earth. I love you Mo-mo, and I miss you so much! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: May 02, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you had a wonderful day, sweetie! Well, today Zekie turned in his roller coaster project! He worked so hard on it, and I am so happy that he is finally done! I love you and miss you so much! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: May 01, 2007

Today

Hello Morgan! I hope that you had a great day, baby girl! Aunt Debbie told me today that she had some little ladybug friends helping her in the garden over the weekend. We thought that you may have been visiting her. Then today, I was in the yard and this beautiful butterfly kept flying over to me. It finally sat down, and then came a little bit closer. It was very sweet, and I hope that you had something to do with it! I love you Morgan, and I miss you so very much! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: May 01, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you had a great day yesterday! I'm sorry I didn't get a chance to write last night. Zeke hurt his hand in P.E. yesterday, so we spent most of last night at Patient First getting his hand x-rayed. Thankfully it doesn't seem to be broken, but it looks terrible, and it hurts! Yesterday, Clayton woke up and told us he had another dream about you! He dreamed that you were sleeping, sleeping, sleeping ~ like a little baby, and the alarm went off! And you said, "Aaaahhhhhhh!" But the face he nmade for you was so funny! I love you, Morgan and I miss you so much! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: April 29, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you had a super day, sweetie! Today Zekie finally finished his roller coaster project for school! He really put a lot of work into it! I hope he does well. This morning I put together a planter for our deck, and when I was picking out what to put in it, I was thinking about what you would like! I picked out pink geraniums, purple petunias, and variegated ivy. I hope you like it! I love you, Morgan and I miss you so much! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: April 28, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you had a great day, baby girl! Today was Daddy’s birthday, and we made (well, mostly Daddy made) a chocolate cake! It was very good ~ even Clayton ate the cake (not just the frosting). Then tonight we all watched Charlotte’s Web. Do you remember when I read it to you on the deck about two years ago? I don’t like Charlotte’s Web, anymore ~ it just reminds me of how much I miss reading to you. After the movie, Clayton said, “I think that Morgan is fine in Heaven.” So Daddy and Zekie and I asked him how he knew that, and he told us he had a note from... YOU! He said that on one side it said, “Love” and on the other side it said, “Dear Mommy, Daddy, Zekie, and Clayton, I love you very much, and I always will! Love, Morgan” I told Clayton that was very sweet, and he said, “Well, she’s making me CRAZY, because she always puts me last!” I thought, well, that is what Morgan liked to do ~ make Clayton crazy! You are a funny girl! I love you, and miss you so very much! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: April 27, 2007

Today

Hi Mo-mo! It's me again! I meant to post the website address. It's http://oursmaangels.blogspot.com/ I love you!

Date:: April 27, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a great day, baby girl! Today Laura sent me an e-mail about a website she created for SMA angels. It is so nice. My favorite part is at the top of the page. It says, "When a child leaves this earth, the whole world should stop for just a moment, in respect, and take notice. These are the names, faces, and dates of children who have lived with and died from Spinal Muscular Atrophy. My heroes, this is in honor of you..." It is just beautiful. I love you, Morgan, and I miss you s very much! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: April 26, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you had a wonderful day, sweetie! This evening Clayton pulled out the Sponge Bob pad that I made for you to lean on when you were in your high chair. It made me realize just how much I miss you at dinner. I miss telling you to “Chew like a pirana!” I miss the way that Clayton would distract Daddy and me, and then you would shove food in your mouth! I miss you dropping food on the floor for Zekie to pick up. He would go crazy when you would throw your food down ~ and you would just laugh, and do it again! We are all still so sad, and miss you so very much, sweetie! I love you! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: April 25, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you had a great day, baby girl! Today I was outside, and I saw a butterfly fly right up onto our deck. It reminded me of you. Then I started thinking about a day about three years ago. It was early spring, and I found a lady bug on the front porch, I brought it inside for you to look at, and you let it walk all over your hands and arms. I took some pictures of you with that ladybug. You were just so cute! Later, Zekie was playing with PhotoSuite, and he cut the lady bug of your arm, and moved it to your mouth! Do you remember that? Zekie’s so funny! I love you and miss you so much, Mo-mo! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: April 24, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a great day, sweetie! There’s another angel in Heaven today ~ Kalair Myrick. We met her, her mommy, and her grandma in Greenville, too. Kalair is 7 years old, but she likes a lot of the same things that you like ~ like having her nails painted! I miss you so much, Morgan. I love you, sweet baby girl! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: April 23, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope you have had a great day, sweetie! Last night, I was calling yor brothers to dinner and I said, "Zekie, Clayton, and Morgan!" just automatically. You are still here ~ you are lways with me, and in my thoughts. I love you so much! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: April 22, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a great day, sweet girl! Zekie is working on a big project for school, but I wanted to let you know how much I love you and miss you. XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: April 21, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a great day, sweetie! Last night I read your guestbook, and I saw that Rob posted a message. He was one of the EMS people that came out to our house on December 3, 2005. That is so nice of him to check your website. I wish that he had been able to meet you before that day. I know he would have liked you, and I know you would have liked him! Today we went and saw Uncle Billy playing with his band at a marathon for the teachers, students (and parents) at Luxford school. It was nice. They had dressed up characters ~ like a monkey, and an ice cream cone. The monkey was from My Gym, and on the back of his shirt it said, “MYMO,” and the first thing that I thought of was My Mo-mo ~ YOU! And I did get a picture of Sissy with the giant, dancing ice cream cone! I love you, and miss you so much, Mo-mo! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: April 20, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you had a wonderful day, sweetie bird! Today I worked in the yard. I planted flowers ~ pink and white! I thought about you when I was picking them out. I was really looking for some purple ones, but they just did not look purpley enough! When Clayton came home from school, he came out in the backyard with me. Then he heard the mom that lives behind us call her little girl... Morgan. Last year she (little Morgan) wasn’t even old enough to respond when her mom called her, but this year, she is talking back to her. It made me wonder about all the things that you would be talking about and doing now. I know that we will be together again ~ but I just miss my little girl, now. I love you so much, Morgan! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: April 19, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a great day, baby girl! I had a difficult morning this morning. When I came home from taking Clayton to school the phone was ringing, so I answered it (of course). Anyway, it was a lady from Equidata ~ apparently, they are a collection company. She asked me if I had received a bill from Bayside Hospital for Radiology. Well, not that I could recall. She said that they had sent the bill to our old address (from where we lived four years ago). So, I gave her our new address ~ I was really confused because I know that we have had bills from Bayside in the past four years that have come to this address. She said that she would mail the bill here, but before we disconnected, I asked her what the date of service was. (I was actually thinking that if they had already turned the bill for Daddy’s kidney stone over to a collection agency, they really had not given me much time to pay the bill.) She said the date of service was... December 3, 2005 for Elizabeth Morgan Saville. I felt like I would faint. I couldn’t believe that after so much time, (and I know that I already paid those bills) that something like that would just appear out of the blue. The truth is that it wouldn't have bothered me (as much) if it had been for you if there it was for another date ~ it’s just that date... that date is the worst day of my life. I asked her if I could just pay it with my credit card over the phone (which I never do), and I told her I did not want a bill, and I did not want a receipt. I just wanted to get it behind us. I don’t want a receipt for something as awful as that day was, and I most certainly do not want to see a bill for that day. I know you know what a terrible day that was for us. I do love to remember you, but I just prefer to remember everyday before December 3, 2005. I love you, Morgan-Morgan Saville and I miss you so much! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: April 18, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a wonderful day, sweetie! Today Zekie only had a half day of school, so Sissy offered to help me pick up your brothers from school. They both had to be picked up at the same time, and their schools are about a half an hour away from each other! So, she said she would pick up Zeke ~ who was the farthest away. So I said, “So, you’re picking the EASY one, again!” And she laughed! She knew exactly what I was talking about... the day that she and I took you and Clayton to the dentist. Clayton was running and jumping all over the waiting room at Dr. Scott’s office, and you were sitting up in the chair as nice as you could be ~ talking, and excited about being at the dentist. So I said to Sissy, “I guess that one of us can go with Morgan, and one of us can go with Clayton.” And Sissy immediately (before I even finished my sentence) said, “I’ll go with Morgan!” I said, “Oh, you are just picking her, because she’s the easy one!” Then we all went back to see the dentist, get your teeth cleaned. They asked me to step away while they x-rayed Clayton’s teeth, and that was the last I saw of Clayton until they were done ~ because you were just crying about not wanting to get your teeth cleaned! Sissy and I both were trying to calm you down the whole time they were looking at your teeth! Then, you silly goose, once we were in the car, you said that you had a great time! I love remembering you. I miss you so much, and I wish that I had more memories. I love you, Mo-mo! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: April 17, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a great day, baby! I’ve been thinking about you all day, sweet girl. I just miss you so much. I love you! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: April 16, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a wonderful day, baby girl! Today there was a terrible shooting at Virginia Tech. It is so sad, Morgan. I feel so bad for the parents that lost their children today. I know the emptiness they must be feeling now, and always will. I love you and miss you so much! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: April 15, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a good day, sweetie! Today has been rainy and YUCKY here! But that’s okay ~ I’m still sad thinking about you and Christian, and so many other children that have flown to Heaven because of SMA! It’s just terrible! I love you Morgan! And I miss you so very much! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: April 14, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan. There is a new angel in Heaven tonight... Christian Ward. He’s about a year older than you are, Morgan. His aunt (Shannon) made a gorgeous quilt for our first SMAsquerade. It was called “Tea Time” for SMA. GrandDaddy saw it, and he had to bid on (and win) it for you! That beautiful quilt made in honor of Christian is what Sissy and GrandDaddy gave you for Christmas that year. I don’t know if you remember this, but you met Christian in Greenville ~ at the first SMA Support Gathering. I remember watching him zipping around in his wheelchair, and being so excited that you were going to have your own wheelchair soon! Clayton chased after him without even noticing that Christian was in a wheelchair. To Clayton, Christian was just another three year old boy to play with. It made me so happy ~ happy and excited for you, and happy that Clayton did not see any difference between himself and a little boy in a wheelchair. Please show Christian around, Mo-mo. Show him how to send signs to his parents, family, and friends. Thank you, sweetie. I love you and miss you so very much, and I am so sad tonight remembering the day that you went to Heaven. XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: April 13, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a great day today, sweetie bird! Today I took Clayton to the zoo! I haven’t really had a chance to take him this week, because it was so cold earlier in the week, and yesterday he was sick. As we stood in lin, I realized that we had not been to the Zoo since you were here. Then the first thing that Clayton wanted to see was the eagle exhibit. I instantly thought about the last time we were there, and a lady offered to take my picture with all three of you ~ I was usually behind the camera. I’m glad we have that picture. The rip to the zoo was nice, but I missed you. I always do, Mo-mo... I love you and miss you so much! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: April 12, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a wonderful day today, sweetie! You are really something else ~ you know that? Last night Daddy called home (he drove up to Maryland yesterday afternoon for a meeting today), and he said, “I think Morgan sent me a sign.” As soon as he said that, I knew it had to be good ~ because Daddy’s such a skeptic! He said that he was driving through fields, trees, and more fields, and he started thinking about you... and how much he misses you. He was getting really sad, and he looked at a road sign (the only one he had seen in miles) and it said, “Morgan Drive!” Of course, Daddy immediately started laughing! You are so smart, and so funny! You know that for Daddy to think of something as a “sign” it would have to be an actual sign! And there it was in the middle of nowhere ~ a sign ~ Morgan Drive! Just for your Daddy, at just the right moment! I love you, Morgan! And I miss you so much! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: April 11, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope you had a great day today, baby girl! Today was Zekie’s 14th birthday! His big birthday present was a week of basketball camp at Virginia Tech this summer. I don’t know why we did that ~ I’m just going to worry about him the whole time he’s gone! Clayton and I made Zeke a chocolate fudge birthday cake this morning. Of course, the second I turned on the mixer, I thought about you... and the “crazy mixer.” We also made homemade ice cream tonight with Zekie’s new ice cream maker! Double chocolate chip! It was so good! I know that you would have loved it! Daddy says that if your last name is Saville, you have to love CHOCOLATE! I love you, Morgan and miss you more everyday! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: April 10, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope you had a wonderful day today, sweetie! Today was a difficult day for me. I am usually very good about getting our taxes done as soon as Daddy gets his forms from work, but not this year... This year I just kept putting it off and putting it off! And I had no idea why ~ until today. I was a little bit irritated when I started doing our taxes (which is strange for me, because I am usually thrilled to be doing them). So I transferred the data from our last year return, and started with... dependents. That’s when I realized why I had put it off. Because this year I had to take you off our forms. I didn’t want the deduction, though ~ I just didn’t want to take you off our forms. I miss you so much, sweet girl! Tomorrow is Zekie’s birthday, if you get a chance to send him a sign, I know he’d appreciate it! I love you and miss you so much! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: April 09, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! Happy day after Easter, baby! Today both Zekie and Clayton were out of school so we went to see Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles or TMNT! Boys! It was nice to do something with both of them, though ~ and amazingly enough they BOTH wanted to see it. Tomorrow Zekie goes back to school (he already had his Spring Break in March), so Clayton and I are going to have a “Mommy and Clayton Day” although, we would both prefer to have a “Mommy, Clayton, and Morgan Day!” This morning he woke up telling me that he had the best dream. It was that you were back here, and he was hugging you and hugging you! When he said he had had the best dream, it reminded me of you, and how you always woke up saying that you had had all the good dreams ~ even if it was always about the princess throwing you into the trash can! Silly girl! I love you, Mo-mo! And I miss you so VERY, VERY much! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: April 08, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! Happy Easter, sweetie! Clayton just told me to tell you he has a “special invisible card for you.” It says, “Happy Easter for a special poking girl! I love you and miss you! Love, Clayton” I love you and miss you too, baby girl! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: April 07, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you’ve had a great day, sweetie! I meant to tell you yesterday that I was picking Clayton up to put him into the cart at the store, and I thought, “Pick him up, paw paw. Put him in your pocket. Pick him up paw paw. Put him in your pocket....” just like Judy taught you... I almost cried ~ right there in the parking lot ~ thinking about how much I miss hearing your voice singing that song. Oh Morgan! I just miss you so much, baby. I love you! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: April 06, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a great day, baby girl! I really miss you right now ~ today I was thinking about what I would get you for Easter, if you were here. Holidays are just not the same without you, sweetie! I love you Morgan, and I miss you so very much! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: April 05, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a wonderful day, baby! Well, I was going to ask you to watch over Erinne tomorrow for her surgery, but they found out late this afternoon that it has been postponed until April 20th (hopefully). Poor Erinne! It’s just so upsetting to be going into surgery, and then to have it postponed has to be so difficult for her ~ and Suzanne! Zekie and Clayton are out of school for the next four days ~ Yeah! So, I’m hoping that we can do some fun things (after Zekie finishes his schoolwork). I love you, Morgan! And I miss you so much! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: April 04, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a great day, sweetie! I hope that you and my cousin Adam were together, and did something FUN! I just wanted to say Hi and let you know how much I love you, and miss you! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: April 03, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a wonderful day, baby! It is another pretty day today, and I finally decided to plant a few flowers. I found a little planter I bought last year ~ that reminded me of you ~ it’s “a little tea pot” with butterflies painted on it. I planted a purple impatien in it, and I am going to keep it on the table on the deck... for you. I love you Morgan, and I miss you so much! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: April 02, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a great day, sweetie! Today was a beautiful day ~ the kind of day where I would have cleaned up the deck, and pulled out your baby swimming pool if you were here. I miss you so much. Tonight was Clayton’s first tee ball game, and Clayton did great! You would have loved it (Zeke bought french fries)! I love you, baby girl! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: April 02, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan! I hope that you had a great day yesterday. My letter did not post last night, but I wanted to let you know I love you, sweetie! Have a great day! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: March 31, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a super day, sweetie bird (or should I say Lady Bug)! Well, this morning we went out to Opening Day and Clayton’s exhibition game for tee ball! It was great! They had all the teams out on the field, and they had the Color Guard, and the National Anthem. It was just wonderful to see all those boys (and some girls) out there on the field. Then the teams went to their fields to play the exhibition games. Clayton was sitting in line waiting to go up to bat, and he found a lady bug. He held that lady bug the whole time he sat in the line, and when he was about to go to bat, he tried to give it to Zekie to hold, but it flew back onto his hand, and he had to let it go. You know how people in the SMA community think of SMA angels as lady bugs and butterflies, right? Well, I instantly knew, it was you. It seems awfully early in the year to see a lady bug, but there was one, and it was right there with your brother ~ just like I know you would have been, saying, “Yeah! Clayton!” I love you, Morgan ~ SO MUCH! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: March 30, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a great day, baby! This morning Clayton woke up (in our bed) telling Daddy and me that he had had the BEST dream ever! He saw an ice cream truck coming to our house and on the side it said, “Morgan I love you Clayton.” Then the man that was driving the truck stopped and gave him the BIGGEST dinosaur ice cream in the whole wide world! It was the best flavor, too! When he was telling us about the dream I was laying there listening to him with my eyes closed, and then he said, “Mommy aren’t you feeling okay?” and I said, “Yes. I’m just tired.” Then he said, “I have a song that will make you happy.” Then he started singing, “Morgan, we love you. Morgan you love us. Morgan you make us so happy” It was such a sweet song ~ it did really make me happy! You are really spending a lot of time with him lately, I’m glad. He needs you ,and loves you so much ~ and I know that you love him so much, too! Zekie could probably use some of your help right now, too. I love you Mo-mo! And I miss you so much! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: March 29, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a wonderful day, sweetie! Well, Daddy woke up again this morning hurting! He is feeling better now, but he needs to get rid of that stone! Saturday is opening day for Clayton’s tee ball season. I wish you were going to be here... I miss you so much. I love you! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: March 28, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a great day, sweetie! Well, tonight I have time to tell you what happened yesterday. Daddy woke up around 6:00 am, and he said that his side and back were hurting. He NEVER complains, so I knew it must be bad. Anyway, he quickly figured out that he had a kidney stone, and I took him to the Emergency Room at Bayside Hospital. At first I thought that we could just go to Patient First, but he was in so much pain, I knew he needed to go to the hospital. On the way there, I thought back to the last time I was there... with you, and I asked Daddy if he wanted to go to Bayside or to another hospital. I just wasn’t ready to go there yet, but I also knew that I had to. So, that’s where we went. In the waiting room, I met a very sweet lady whose husband had been rushed to the ER by ambulance. Oddly enough, she only lives a few blocks away from us, and I actually had heard the ambulance that morning (I always hear ambulances now). We started talking and I told her all about you. I even showed her your picture. She said you were the most beautiful child ~ of course, you already knew that, right? When they were ready for me to go back, I was hoping that they had Daddy in a room far away from where you had been on December 3, 2005 ~ but guess what?? He was right across from the room you were in. I thought it would just make me crazy, but the truth is that I felt so much better for having talked about you in the waiting room. I know that you were with me, and I know that you helped me. Thank you so much, Mo-mo. I love you, and I miss you so much! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: March 27, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan! I hope that you have had a great day, sweetie! Well, we were really busy here. I'll tell you all about it tomorrow ~ but I know that you were close to us today. I love you and miss you so much! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: March 26, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a great day, baby girl! Well, Clayton stayed home sick today, but I am hoping that he will feel better tomorrow. Today he asked me if I knew what you were doing in Heaven right at that moment, and I said, “No, do you?” He said, “Well, she’s petting a dog right now.” And I said, “What dog?” He said, “Aunt Debbie and Uncle Billy’s dog, Daisy! Don’t you remember Daisy?” I do, and I hope that you were petting her, and having fun with her. I love you, Morgan, and I miss you so much! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: March 25, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a wonderful day, sweetie bird! Last night, Clayton crawled into bed with us. (He wasn’t feeling very good.) Anyway, he started singing, “I’m a little teapot tip me out!” Then he said, “I forgot the words, Mommy. Will you sing it?” And I sang, “I’m a little teapot short and stout, here is my handle, here is my spout, when I get all steamed up, I will shout! Tip me over and pour me out!” When I was done, he said, “Yes! That’s it! I love that song! It remembers me of Morgan.” It remembers me of you, too... I love you Mo-mo, and I miss you so much! * Hugs and Kisses *

Date:: March 24, 2007

Today

Morgan, I learned this morning that another angel, Logan flew to Heaven. Please show him around, sweetie! I love you! **Hugs and Kisses**

Date:: March 24, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope you have had a great day, sweetie! We stayed pretty busy today. First, Clayton had his first tee ball scrimage game this morning. It was pretty chilly out ~ and then it started raining! Clayton did great though. He and his friend Jacob made runs! Then we went to Zeke's show! It was even better than last night! I hope you saw it! I love you so much, Morgan and I miss you more every day! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: March 23, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a wonderful day, baby girl! Tonight we (Sissy, GrandDaddy, Uncle Billy, Aunt Debbie, Clayton and I) all went to see the school musical that Zekie was in. They did High School Musical, and it was awesome! They did such a good job ~ even Clayton sat through most of it ~ perfectly! I thought about you, and how much you would have loved it! You would have ~ I hope you have been able to watch some of it. I love you Morgan, and I miss you so much! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: March 22, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a wonderful day, today, baby girl! Today I was talking to a mom whose daughter has SMA. Her daughter also has been in the PICU at CHKD ~ just like you were. We talked about how her daughter was intubed, and could not talk when she was admitted. Then I told her about how you were dehydrated when you were admitted, and about how you told me, "Mommy, I'm crying." because no tears were coming out of your eyes. You are just so smart ~ to tell me. I wish that you were still here so that I could comfort you, and hold you. I miss you so much... I love you, Mo-mo. XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: March 21, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope you have had a wonderful day today! This evening I said something to Clayton about "Uncle Baby" ~ really Uncle Billy ~ and he said, "Whose that?" I said, "Clayton, don't you remember how you and Morgan would call Uncle Billy "Uncle Baby" to make him crazy?!? And clayton said, "Oh yeah! I remember those were good times! Good Times!" He was so funny! And I know he meant it! Those really were good times! I love you and miss you so much! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: March 20, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a wonderful day! Over the weekend, a 12 year old boy scout somehow became separated from his group and has been lost in the mountains since Saturday. Zekie, Clayton, and I have been praying for him, and today he was found ~ alive and well! It’s so nice to know that miracles do happen! This boy is somewhat like Zeke ~ he likes basketball, reading, and Weird Al music ~ although I can’t see Zeke “camping out.” Sometimes I need to remember just how lucky I am. It’s just hard, because I miss you so much ~ it overshadows everything else. I love you, Mo-mo! And I miss you so very much! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: March 19, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a great day today, sweetie bird! Today I was cleaning up, and I came across a bag from Ron Jon's Surf Shop. We went there last year when we were in Florida. I opened the bag, and there was something that I bought for you... a little purple backpack with butterflies on it. It was the only one like it in the store, and I knew it would have been perfect for you. I miss you so much! I love you! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: March 18, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope you have had a great day, baby girl! Today Clayton and I went to the craft store looking for something, and guess what we saw! These foam block like letters. Naturally, he wanted the blue "C" and the soccer stickers to put on it, and then he wanted me to get the green "Z" for Zekie ~ with the basketball stickers. Of course, I looked at the "M's." And all of the "M's" were hot pink! Then Clayton said, "Let's get the pink M for Morgan or Mommy." That sounded good... for you, Morgan. It's too hard not to. SO we looked around and I found some princess stickers ~ that you would LOVE! A magic wand, a crown, a heart, some high heels ~ it was PERFECT for you! I love you so much, Morgan! *Hugs AND Kisses* XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: March 17, 2007

Today

Oh... one other thing. Happy St. Patrick's Day! I was thinking about St. Patrick's Day two years ago... you were in the hospital, and we were about to have you transferred to NJ. I was so worried. I talked to Brian ~ Dr. Bach's Respiratory Therapist for over an hour, and he told me exactly what we needed to do to take care of you. That was the beginning of you getting better. It was a wonderful day...

Date:: March 17, 2007

Today

Hello Miss Morgan! I hope that you have had a great day, sweetie! We did not do much today ~ it was cold and rainy (actually a little bit snowy), and both Clayton's tee ball practice AND Zekie's play practice were cancelled. This afternoon Zekie and I went to Costco and bought this Island Way Sorbet ~ YOU would have loved it ~ especially the pineapple one! I miss being able to share things with you that I know you would love! I love you and miss you so much! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: March 16, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a great day, baby doll! Well, you made Daddy smile this morning ~ thank you! Sometimes he needs a little direction! Oh, Morgan! I love you so much! Sometimes, I am just overwhelmed by how much I love you and miss you! Today was one of those days... the days that my throat swells from the ache, the tears just won't stop, and I can't even breathe because it hurts so much. I would do anything to have you back, Mo-mo ~ I just miss you so much... XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: March 15, 2007

Today

Hello Silly Girl! I hope you had fun today! Were you teasing me??? This morning, I heard the downstairs toilet run. It hasn't done that in about a year. The first time, I thought that maybe I missed someone coming out, but the second time I knew it was you, and I just smiled! The third (and last) time it happened, I was in the bathroom and it made me jump! You are so funny! I hope you enjoyed it! I love you, Mo-mo! And I miss you so much! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: March 14, 2007

Today

HI Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a great day! Well, I forgot to tell you that Zekie is sick ~ in fact, he slept over 16 hours last night. I hope that he will be feeling better tomorrow. He has really missed a lot of school in the past few weeks. Today I took Clayton for a haircut, and when we were getting out of the car, he asked me if I remembered how you use to sit beside him and drive him CRAZY! Yes! I remember that. Sissy does, too! She always laughs when she thinks about the time that you were singing, and Clayton asked you to be quiet. And you would stop singing ~ for about two seconds, and then you would start right back up again! I love you so much, Mo-mo! And I miss you! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: March 13, 2007

Today

I love you! From, Clayton XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

Date:: March 13, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope you have had a great day today, sweetie! Today when I went to pick up Clayton from school I saw three little purple flowers under an evergreen tree. They were so perfect, I thought they might be fake. But they were just perfect little purple flowers that made me think of you and smile. I love you and miss you so much, Mo-mo!

Date:: March 12, 2007

Today

Dear Morgan! Hi! I hope you have had a great day! We love you so much! Last night I was thinking about how we use to call you More~Cake! I think that we started calling you that right after your first birthday! Clayton says, "Hi!" and "here's a story for you that Clayton made up. Okay, now Morgan we love you and you love us. We will love you forever!" I love you, too, Mo-mo! We all do! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: March 11, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope you have had a great day, sweetie! Today I wrote an e-mail to Lisa in England. I was telling her about the RSV injections that you had every month in the winter. We had a nurse come to the house once a month to give you the injections, and the nurse was from England, so naturally she had a british accent. Do you remember her? I know you do. She came every month for almost two years, and I will never forget that one day (I think it was over the summer) we had the television on and a woman with a british accent was talking, and you said, "No! Not Nurse Julie! No! No!" You knew those british accents, and you knew it was not good! And I will never forget the last time you received the injection... Sissy was here, and you had her take you (away from Nurse Julie) into the dining room. Then you told Sissy to let the nurse give the shot to Tayton! You are such a smart ~ and funny ~ girl! I love you and miss you so very much! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: March 10, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope you have had a great day, sweetness! Today Clayton had his first teeball practice and he loved it! While we were there, I noticed all the little brothers and sisters playing together, and I thought about you... I loved taking you to Claytons soccer practice. I remember you, Zekie, and Sissy would sit on the blanket and watch the practice. Zekie made sure that you all had enough drinks and snacks. I miss that... Thank you for watching over Elijah, baby! I know that his mommy (Lisa) really appreciates it! I love you and miss you so much! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: March 09, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope you have had a great day, baby girl! I meant to tell you yesterday that you have a new cousin! My cousin Chris, and his wife Kelly (Hayden's mommy and daddy) had a little girl and her name is Kennedy. I know that you will watch over her. I love you, Mo-mo, and I miss you so much! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: March 08, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan! I hope that you have had a wonderful day today, sweetie bird! I just wanted to let you know how much I love you, baby girl! Stay near ~ I love you and miss you so! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: March 07, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a wonderful day, baby girl! I just wanted to say I love you and I miss you so very, very much! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: March 06, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a wonderful day today, my sweet little girl! Guess what?!? Yesterday, Zekie and I were remembering you and your Cheetos/Cheese Doodles, and today Jennifer told me that yesterday was National Cheese Doodle Day! I had no idea they even had a National Cheese Doodle Day! Tonight Clayton and I were working on his homework ~ he’s working with time now ~ and I couldn’t help but think that if you were here, we’d be working on time, too. I know that you would be amazing me ~ just like Clayton is right now. I love you, Mo-mo! And I miss you so much! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: March 05, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope you have had a great day, my baby! Zekie is out of school this week, and we went to a movie tonight. On the way there, we were talking about... YOU! Specifically, we were talking about when you were in the hospital ~ almost two years ago... We were remembering how the doctor had said that you could start eating again, and you told Zekie that you wanted “snacks!” So, he went right down to the machines and bought you a bag of Cheetos. When he came back, you ate about two or three, and then told him that you really wanted “french fries.” So, poor old Zekie ran back downstairs, and came back with a big plate of french fries. You were so happy! You ate a few of them, and then you told him you wanted “CANDY!” That’s when I knew you were just working him, but he was more than happy to do it. He loves you so much, Mo-mo! We all do! I hope you know just how much we love and miss you! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: March 04, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a great day, baby girl! I woke up this morning thinking about you. That’s not really a surprise ~ I usually wake up thinking about at least once a night. Anyway, do you know what I was thinking about? I was thinking about the way you used to say, “I forgot...KEYS!” I was wondering why you said that! Then, it hit me... I think that when you would say, “I forgot.” I would say, “What did you forget, Morgan?” and that’s when you would say, “KEYS!” I think you were just answering before I asked the question. You always were so smart! I love you and miss you so much! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: March 03, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a great day, sweetie! It was a beautiful day here on Earth today ~ I think Sissy and GrandDaddy brought some of that gorgeous Cayman Island weather back with them. This afternoon, Zekie, Clayton and I went to the park, and as we were walking up the sidewalk, I was thinking about...you! I was thinking that I never took you to the park. I should have. You would have loved it ~ sliding down the slide, riding the "whale." I'm sorry I didn't take you ~ I would if I had a second chance. I love you and miss you so much! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: March 02, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope you have had a great day, sweetie! Today Clayton was STILL sick, so I took him to see the doctor again. He saw Dr. Mink, but apparently, he just has a virus. Hopefully, he will feel better tomorrow. He was sweet tonight. We started drinking this Lipton Green Tea a few months ago, and tonight Clayton said, "I bet Morgan has a hundred and sixty thousand of these up there, and she loves them!" Daddy and I both agreed that you would love that green tea. I love you, sweetie, and I miss you so much!! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: March 01, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a wonderful day, sweetie! Well, Sissy and GrandDaddy are coming home today from their wonderful vacation in the Caymans. I know that had to have a great time! We had such a great time when we all went. Zeke and I were talking about the night that Miss Rita's mother cam over to "babysit" you, Zekie, and Clayton while we went to dinner. Zeke kept tryig to get you away from her because she kept putting a wet wash cloth on your head ~ and Zeke being an astute nine year old just knew there was something weird about that! I remember Zeke telling me that while Daddy was driving her home. She told Daddy that she was trying to get rid of your hiccups with an old Cayman Island remedy ~ being the wet wash cloth on the forehead. Zekie was always so protective of you! We all love you and miss you SO SO SO much! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: February 28, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a wonderful day, my sweetest little angel! Well, your biggest brother was STILL sick today, so... in we went to TCA. And since your littlest big brother had started coughing (and sniffling) I took him in also. We saw Dr. R, an she confirme that Zekie has a virus! And of course, there is nothing we can do about it. But Clayton was a different story. He was sniffling a lot more by the time we saw the doctor this afternoon, and he had a fever. She was concerned about some of his symptoms, so we had to take him in for an x-ray. And guess what the nurses at the lab did? They offered him CHOCOLATE! They told him that he could have (a bag of chocolates) after his x-ray. So, she looked at Zekie, and said, "Hmmm... should I give these to you to hold? I don't know if you look trustworthy." I just laughed and said, "He IS the trustworthy one!" Can you believe that they didn't trust Zeke with candy?!?!?! They sure didn't know Clayton! I love you, Morgan! You are in my thoughts every minute of everyday ~ thank you! Always remember YOUR MOMMY LOVES YOU SO MUCH!!!!!!! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: February 27, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a wonderful day, baby girl! Zekie came home from school early today ~ he still isn't feeling too great. I love you and miss you so much, Mo-mo! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: February 26, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a wnderful day, sweet girl! Today Zekie stayed hom from school. He had an awful tummy bug. He slept until 11:00 this morning, and I don't think he has ever done that before. I am hoping he will feel a lot better in the morning. I miss you, Mo-mo! and I love you so much! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: February 25, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a wonderful day, sweetie! Tomorrow Zekie has to turn in his basketball uniform, so I wanted to get a few pictures of him in it. We had to take a few of them by your portrait ~ it just seems so right fo rus to do that. We did that for the SMA Candle Lighting Day, the day Zeke started school and the day he got his braces. We just want you to be a part of everything still. Today ~ your silly gose brother (CLAYTON) ~ asked me if he could go into yor room to PRAY! I was a bit overcome, because he usually doesn't ASK me where he can go, and it was so sweet that he wanted to pray in your room ~ So, I peeked into your room where he was, and I heard him say, "Oh Dear Mighty Lord God" and then he noticed your books in your nightstand, and said, "Well, usually, I wanted to read those books. Okay?" Okay, that was okay, too. Oh Morgan!We love you and miss you so much, Mo-mo! And thank you for everything ~ for sending us messages, and staying close to all of us! We love you so much! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: February 24, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope you have had a great day, baby girl! Today I was cleaning our dining room, and I was thinking about how when you were here, I would clean the dining room, and YOU would stay in there with me. You'd just play with your Polly Pockets, or "read" your books, or color, but you wanted to be in there with me ~ watching what I was doing. I really miss that ~ I miss always being with you. Please stay close to me ~ I really need you. I love you so much, Mo-mo! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: February 23, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a wonderful day, baby girl! I forgot to tell you yesterday that I found one of your Polly Pockets in a strange place ~ it was in your crib in Mommy and Daddy's room. We still have your crib in there ~ why ~ I don't know because you rarely slept in your crib! Anyway, it was a nice surprise! Thank you! I love you and miss you so much! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: February 22, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a wonderful day, baby! You sure have been busy, haven't you? Today I took Zekie to get his cast off. We waited for hours before they saw us ~ and "sawed" his cast off (ha ha). While we were in the waiting room, we met two women. Somehow, we all started talking about Heaven ~ and I told them about you. Then one of the women said, "That's it! That's why we are all here together. It's your daughter!" Then she told me that she is a medium! She said that in the spirit world people have the same personalities and sense of humor they had here on Earth. I told her about you and some of the things you do like ~ turning lights on and off, or turning Jennifer and Matt's ceiling fan (and light) on in the middle of the night. It was very nice to talk to them today. I like hearing about Heaven, and spirits ~ and most of all I like the reassurance that you are okay. Thank you, Mo-mo! I love you and miss you so much! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: February 21, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a wonderful day, baby girl! Tomorrow morning am taking Zekie to get his cast off. I wasn't there when they took is cast off last time, Daddy took him, and I stayed home with you and Tayton! The only time I ever saw a cast removed, was with you! I was so scared they were going to cut you the first time... lucky for them, they didn't! I miss you so much, Mo-mo! I love you, baby! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: February 20, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a wonderful day, sweetie! Tomorrow Sissy is going out of town ~ I hope that you will stay close to her while she’s gone. You are always on her mind, but I think she is really going to be missing you this time... You know I pick Clayton up from school everyday ~ at our church, right? Well, he and his friend like to run around in the church yard when we get outside, and today after they were done, Clayton told me he wanted to “go see Morgan.” It was so nice, and so sweet, but unfortunately I was prepared for it. I have to plan to go to the garden. I just can’t go out of the blue ~ it’s too hard for me. I told him that we could go tomorrow ~ I know you understand how I feel ~ you always did... even at two years old. I love you and miss you so much, Mo-mo! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX P.S. Do you want to hear something funny? When I type in the X’s and O’s to you, I look at it when I’m done, and then I usually decide that I need to add a few more X’s and O’s. It seems like I never have enough hugs and kisses for you, baby girl!

Date:: February 19, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a great day, baby girl! Today is Presidents Day. Zekie and Clayton both had the day off. This morning we went out to breakfast, and this afternoon we have been trying to get organized for the week ahead. It has been a nice quiet day ~ the kind of day I loved when you were here. It's just so different now. I always feel like something is missing ~ it is... YOU! I love you and miss you so much! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: February 18, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a wonderful day, baby girl! Today Daddy, Zekie, Clayton and I went to see a movie. It was so sad. The little girl in the movie went to Heaven. When we were leaving I asked Clayton (because I already knew how Zekie felt ~ he told me during the movie) how he liked the movie. He said, "It was a little bit horrible, and a little bit good." That was a pretty good description, I thought. It reminded me that life can be forever changed in just a minute. I feel like there are two parts to my life ~ before we lost you, and after. I miss you, Mo-mo! And I love you so very much! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: February 17, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a great day, baby girl! I love and miss you so much! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: February 16, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a wonderful day today, baby girl! Uncle Billy and Aunt Debbie are home from Jamaica. They won the trip at SMArgaritaville. They had a great time, but it was a long trip home ~ by way of Detroit! I miss you so much, Mo-mo ~ I love you! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: February 15, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope you have had a great day and I love you! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: February 14, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope you have had just a wonderful Valentine's Day, sweet girl! Thank you for staying close to me. I went to Clyton's Valentine's Day party at school, but first I went to the garden where your marker is. Daddy gave me our roses this morning, so I took one over for you. It doesn't feel like Valentine's Day without you ~ I miss the ribbons in your hair, your "Kisses ~ 25 cents" shirt, and you! I saw that Sissy was thinking about you in that shirt this morning. I was thinking that maybe when she comes over tomorrow I could pucker up, and she'd give me that 25k... do you think that would work? Probably not... there are no kisses in the world as sweet as Mo-mo kisses! I miss you and love you so much, baby girl! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: February 13, 2007

Today

HI Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a great day, sweetie bird! Tonight after dinner, Clayton found some pictures that were in a box. They were great ~ pictures of you, Zeke, and Clayton. The pictures are from when we moved into our house. All three of you were so little! And you were so chubby! Daddy and I couldn't believe how chubby you were ~ but you were so adorable! I miss you so much around the holidays. I always like to get cards and treats for you and your brothers. Valentine's Day was always one of our favorites ~ I don't know if it was because of the chocolate or the roses that Daddy would always bring (to YOU!), or the Valentine's cards, but you did love it! I hope you have some wonderful Valentine's Day parties tomorrow, sweet baby! I love you! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: February 12, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope you have had a great day, sweetie! Today I was cleaning out the bookshelf by Daddy's side of the bed, and guess what I found?!? I found a little orange ribbon that was tied in a knot. This orange ribbon had black jack-o-lanterns on it. It was the ribbon that we had for Halloween the year before last. I put your hair up in pigtails, and tied the ribbons on your pigtails. You were so adorable! Then, you told me that you wanted to me to tie one on your wrist to make a bracelet (we had just made yarn bracelets in our "class"). So I did, and you wore it all day. I think that Daddy must have taken it off you that night, and that is why I found it on his shelf. Thank you, thank you for being everywhere, and staying close to me. Valentine's day was so hard for me last year ~ I miss you so much. Please stay close to us, and send some of your angel magic down, baby girl! I love you! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: February 11, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a great day, baby girl! Today I went to Bath and Body Works. They had a new lotion... sweet honeysuckle. I think they tried it a couple of years ago, because I remember that we bought you some of the shower gel and lotion. It was a few weeks after your cousin Haydens birthday. I remember at his party, you, Sissy and "Nana" went to their honeysuckle bush and smelled and tasted the honeysuckle. So when I showed it to you in the store, you really wanted it! I remember you just loved it! But, you loved everything. You were always so happy. Thank you for being my little girl, it always made me so happy. I love you Mo-mo! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: February 10, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope you have had a great day, sweetness! Today I went through the toys in our den. I should do it every other month, but it's been about six months now. Clayton had a lot of broken toys for me to throw out. AND for some reason he has been trying to keep the "original packaging" for his toys. I finally convinced him that he is never going to make millions on e-Bay by reselling his toys in their original packaging! I was going through the basket of stuffed animals, and I found your ice cream cone shorts ~ the ones that are hot pink and white checked with little embroided ice cream cones on them ~ Sissy bought them for you. I knew they were there from the last time I went through the stuffed animals, but I didn't remember, so it was a nice surprise. I love you, baby girl and I miss you so so much!

Date:: February 09, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a great day, sweetie! Well, a lot of people named Morgan have signed your guestbook since yesterday! It's nice to know that more people are learning about SMA. Today I was looking through a magazine, and I saw a diaper ad. It showed two toddlers sitting on the floor with their backs toward the camera, and they had their shirts off so you could see their backs. Do you know what I looked at? Their spines! To see if they were straight or not. They were, but in my mind the perfect spine ~ the spine I spent so much of my life looking at, and massaging ~ is not straight, it has a little bit of a curve. It's your spine. Isn't that funny? The first thing I think of is you. I miss you so much, Mo-mo. I love you! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: February 08, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope you have had a great day, sweetie! Today I went to lunch with a friend of mine ~ one of your doctors ~ and we talked about how smart you always were! I sometimes see Clayton do things that you were doing last year ~ when ou weren't even three yet! I like talking about you ~ and when you were here. I just miss you so much! I love you, baby girl! XOXXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: February 07, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope you have had a great day today, baby girl! Zeke had the day off today so we spent the morning together. First we went out to breakfast, and then we went shopping. He wanted to use some of his Christmas gift cards. When we were out, I saw some Valentine's Day and St. Patrick's Day hair scrunchies, and instantly thought about you. I always liked getting you Valentine's Day shirts, and socks! My favorite t-shirt of yours was the one that said ~ Kisses 25 cents. I love you so much and I miss you! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: February 06, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a great day, baby girl! I was looking at some pictures of you today ~ the ones on our fridge! I really miss you ~ I miss that smile, that voice, that personality of yours so very much! I love you! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: February 04, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a great day! Today Mommy had her first ~ and hopefully last ~ migrane. I just wanted to tell you I love you and I miss you! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: February 03, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a great day! There is something wrong with our keyboard! It keeps missing letters when type them, so when I typed your name just now it said, "Morgan~organ" ~ I thought you wuld think that was funny, silly girl! This afternoon, Daddy laid down in Clayton's bed ~ like he was going to take a nap, and I said "Daddy! Get up!" When I turned around and looked back at him and he had a little slice of sunshine shining through the window right on his eyes. I think that you didn't want him trying to fall asleep, either! Please send some angel magic out for little Isaac Postma. He was admitted to the PICU today. I love you, baby girl! And I miss you so much! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: February 02, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a great day, sweetie! Zeke's basketball team had a game tis afternoon, and even though he can't play for the rest of season we still go to the games. Unfortunately, they lost by two points in the last 20 seconds ~ just like Duke last night. I bet you would love the games ~ especially if Zeke was playing ~ I can just hear you yelling, "Yeah! Zekie!" Claytons favorite phrase was "Get the rebound, Zeke!" When we came home tonight there was a package on the front porch. It said, "To Stacy From Stacy." It is a box of Stacy's Pita Chips. And, guess what??? I went to the web site, and she as a daughter named Morgan, also! Isn't that neat? I thought so ~ I love you, baby girl, and I miss you so much! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: February 01, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan! I hope that you have had a great day, sweetness! I don't think that I told you this, but Clayton is starting to read. He can actually read some of the Beginning Reader books all by himself ~ he actually reads them, not like some little girl I know who memorized them! Anyway, last week we were working on his flash cards and one of the words was "very." I like for him to read the word, and then use it in a sentence. His sentence was, "I am very sensitive." Can you believe that was his sentence?? What a silly goose! I love you, Mo-mo! and I miss you so much! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: January 31, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope you have had a great day, sweetie! You know what??? I miss you! I miss talking to you, taking care of you, everything, Mo-mo! It is so unfair! You should be here ~ you know that I would do anything for you to be here, don't you? I'm not sad ~ I just miss you. I love you so much, and I now that I will be with you again. I love you, baby girl! * Hugs and Kisses * Hugs and Kisses * Hugs and Kisses *

Date:: January 30, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope you have had a great day! Well, today I took Clayton back to the doctor ~ he has an ear infection ~ AGAIN! I feel so bad for him, and I really don't understand it. Zeke had ear infections all the time until he turned five ~ and then Taton didn't start getting them until he was five! Those boys are just trying to keep me on my toes I think! This morning I woke up around 3:00 ~ I was hit with a realization that you weren't here. It's strange, because I really do feel so close to you most of the time. I love you so much, and I miss you more than you could ever know! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: January 29, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope you have had a great day, sweetie! Today I took you brother to the doctor to have his cast put on. I was thinking about the last time he had a cast ~ you were here. It was April of 2005 ~ just after your stay at CHKD. I remembered that I had Sissy ome over to stay with you ~ and Clayton. I was so worried about you, but I knew that Sissy would take great are of you! I wish that I had been worried about you today ~ I wish that you were here. I love you, Mo-mo, and I miss you so much! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: January 28, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope you have had a great day baby girl! Today I was painting ou living room and Clayton was telling me about a "dream" he had about you. There was a man teasing you about not being able to walk, and Clayton said, "YOU CAN'T TALK TO MY SISTER LIKE THAT!" Then, he called the police! I thought you'd like to know he is still dreaming and thinking about you all the time ~ just like the rest of us! I love you and miss you so much! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: January 27, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope you have had a great day, sweetie bird! Well, this morning I had to take Zekie to the doctors office, and then to the hospital for a x-ray. His hand is broken, again... He is really sad, and in so much pain. I feel so bad for him. I guess that his basketball season is going to end early this year. Monday I will take him in for a cast, but until then he has to keep his finger, and hand from moving. Today I tried to tape it up, but the metal splint, hurt his other finger. I said "I think I'll put a cotton ball in between your fingers." Then I said to Zekie, "Do you know where the cotton balls are?" We both laughed, because the last time we talked about cotton balls, I asked him to get me some, and he said, "Where are they?" and YOU said, "They are in the bathroom. Under the sink!" We were so surprised that you knew exactly where they were! But, just like your brothers, you always knew where everything in this house is! I love you, Mo-mo, and I miss you so much! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: January 26, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a great day, my sunshine girl! This morning I woke up thinking about you! I do that a lot, you know? This morning I was thinking about how you and I had started curling our hair ~ I started putting yours in curlers at night to keep your hair out of your face, and away from your bi-pap. But then, I also started curling my hair, too. I think that Sissy probably loved seeing both of us with our hair curled. I don't curl my hair anymore ~ it's not fun without you. I love you, Mo-mo, and I miss you so much! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: January 25, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a great day, baby girl! This afternoon, Clayton had a friend over to play and he showed him "your cradle." The cradle is in our family room now ~ with your blanets, and scrapbook in it. Clayton likes to pick up your scrapbook and look at it. Well, today he said, "This is my sister's cradle, and this is the book about her, and it is filled with our memories." Wasn't that nice? I thought so. We all love you and miss you so much, Mo-mo! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: January 24, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan! I hope that you have had a great day, sweet girl! I meant to tell you earlier this week that Clayton was doing his homework, and he had to color a toothbrush. Well, guess what color he colored it??? PINK! He has so many toothbrushes in dfferent colors, but his favorite one is one of your pink toothbrushes (that you never had a chance to use). Isn't that funny? Well, I love you so much, and I miss you! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: January 23, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan Saville! I hope that you have had a great day, sweetie! I have to tell you this funny little story. Today I was in a strange mood ~ I was a little bit irratated, because I di not get to write to you last night (well, not much anyway). So this afternoon I was driving ~ still in this mood, and guess what I saw!?!?!? I saw a white truck ~ and written on the dust/dirt were the words, "SHAKE & BAKE." I immediately started laughing, because that is what we always called your Vest, the "shake and bake." I can't think of any reason that it would be written on that van, but it made me smile ~ and laugh ~ and I think that is probably what you wanted. You always have helped me put things into perspective ~ thank you once again! I love you and miss you so much! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: January 22, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I love you and I miss you so much! All my hugs and kisses! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: January 21, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a great day, sweetie bird! I was going to tell you last week that I was thinking about Martin Luther King Day two years ago, the day that we mad our Tye Dye shirts! That was so much fun, wasn't it? Do you remember that you and Daddy were doing your shirts the same? We had so much fun, and you were so proud of yourself! I was so proud of you, too ~ like always! I love you, Mo-mo! I miss you so much! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: January 20, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! hope that you have had a great day, baby girl! I love you and miss you so very much! We saw some videos of you tonight at Sissy and GrandDaddy's ~ I just wanted to reach into the TV and hold you forever ~ I'm so sorry that you aren't here. I miss you so much. I love you always! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: January 19, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a great day, baby girl! I love you and miss you! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: January 18, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a wonderful day today, baby girl! Today I found out something new... Did you know that there is a Morgan County in Georgia?? And there is also a Clayton County! I did not see a Zeke County, though. Last night, I laid in bed and just wondered, "how am I still breathing?" I miss you so much, Mo-mo. Sometimes it just sneaks up on me ~ I can't believe you aren't here with me. I love you so much. XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX * Hugs and Kisses *

Date:: January 17, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a great day, baby! Please watch over Erinne and her mommy, Suzanne, for the next few days. Suzanne is having surgery tomorrow, and Erinne is sick. They could use some angel magic, sweetie! Today I saw a little girl with hair like yours ~ it was up in pig tails, and her mommy said she had crazy hair, because it always fell out of the pig tails! All I could think was, "Morgan hair!" I miss brushing your hair, washing your hair, listening to you say, "Daddy! Mommy's hurting my hair!" I miss you, sweetie bird! I love you so much! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: January 16, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you had a great day, sweet girl! Today I was talking about you to someone who you did not meet and the first thing I said to describe you was how SMART you are. Isn't that funny that was the FIRST thing? Not, how sweet, not how beautiful ~ just how smart! You are ~ you always amazed me! Sissy and I were talking tonight about how you knew who had walked through the door just by their footsteps! We love you so much, Miss Morgan! And we all miss you so! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: January 15, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a great day, baby girl! Today I was driving home ~ past Virginia Wesleyan, and they had listed on their marqee that they had an artist displaying their work from December 4th thru February 12th (I think). And December 4th just hit me like a ton of bricks! It was like I was realizing for the first time that you aren't here. I miss you so much! I love you! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: January 14, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a great day, sweetie bird! Tonight I was thinking about when you were a baby... Zekie and Clayton would be running around our house at night (like lunatics) making tons of noise, and you would just sleep ~ like a baby! You were so content with all that noise and activity. It was like you just knew that was your family. You would sleep and sleep until Zekie and Clayton went to sleep, and then you would wake up ~ ready to have fun! I love you so much, Mo-mo! and I miss you, baby girl! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: January 13, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you had a great day, sweet girl! Well, now Daddy has what Clayton had earlier this week! Hopefully, he will feel better tomorrow ~ and Zekie won't get it! Erinne's mommy, Suzanne broke her leg today. Please watch over them for the next few weeks. I love you so much, Mo-mo! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: January 12, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a great day, sweetie! This afternoon Zekie had his first basketball game ~ they didn't win, but they did alright. We all went ~ Daddy, Clayton, Sissy, and me. Clayton was bouncing all over the place, and ended up scrapping his back. He was not very interested in the game, and everytime I said, "Rebound" Clayton would yell, "Hey guys! Don't do what my mommy says!" Sweet little guy, huh? Anyway, I am really missing you, baby. I love you so much! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: January 11, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a good day, baby girl! Last night I gave Clayton and bath, and he let me blow dry his hair. No! He ASKED me to blow dry his hair. This was the second time in a week that he has done this! Both he and Zeke never liked to have their haair blown dry ~ YOU were the one that loved it! I'll never forget the first time you asked me to blow dry your hair. You were about 15 months old, and you saw me blowing my hair dry after our baths, and you said, "My hair, too, Mommy!" and I did it. And you loved it! I remember running downstairs to tell Daddy, and he just laughed, and said, "Of course she wanted her hair blown dry ~ just like her Mommy!" Thank you for that, Morgan! Thank you for letting me be your mommy! When we saw Suzanne, Kevin, and Erinne (over Christmas), Suzanne said that she had noticed a softer side to Clayton... a side that I know he gets from you. I love you and miss you so much! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: January 10, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a great day, sweetie pie! Today I was thinking about you, and your Polly Pockets! I remember that you loved to play like that you were a teenage girl ~ it was funny ~ you would always have the girls "go on dates" with their "boyfriend" dolls. It made Daddy insane! He would ask you questions like, "Are you sure this is not her Daddy?" and you would say "NO!" Then he would say, "Maybe he's her brother?" and you would say "NO!" Then he would say, "Is he her good friend, that is also a boy?" and you would say, "NO, Daddy! It's her BOYFRIEND!" Then Daddy would ask me if as girls we were just born knowing about dating and boyfriends, and (of course) I told him, "Well YES!" Oh Morgan, you are so funny, and FUN! I love you so much, baby girl ~ and I miss you always! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: January 09, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan Saville! I hope that you have had a great day today! The other night when I wrote to you Clayton wanted to know what the XOXOXOX's meant. I told him that the "X's" were hugs, and I showed him by giving him hugs, and that the O's were kisses. Of course I showed him the kisses by giving him kisses, too. He loved it, and just laughed and gigglied as I read the X's and O's to him... "X (HUG) O (KISS) X (HUG) O (KISS) X (HUG) O (KISS)." I know that is exactly what you would be doing ~ laughing and giggling with each hug and kiss I had for you! I love you so much, Mo-mo! and I miss you always! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: January 08, 2007

Today

Hello Miss Morgan! I hope that you have had a great day, sweetie! Well, Clayton developed a nasty tummy bug Saturday night ~ around 1:00am ~ sleeping with Daddy and me! He really felt awful yesterday, but he is much better today... and hopefully by tomorrow he will have made a full recovery. Last night Zekie and I were trying to record "High School Musical" from the Disney Channel, and I was looking for a tape, and I found one of yours... It was from when you were about 16 months old. Oh my gosh! You are so beautiful ~ it felt like I could just reach in to the TV and touch you. I love you so much. I miss your voice. I miss holding you. I just miss everything about you. XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: January 06, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a great day, sweetness! I read that you helped Mackenzie. That's just like you ~ I'm so proud of you. Last night, we had dinner and a movie like we do on Friday nights. Of course, we had your favorite...PIZZA! Well, Clayton somehow managed to get his feet on his plate, and I pointed it out to him, then I called him "SILLINESS!" As soon as I said it, I knew it was one of your words. It was one of those bittersweet moments that I have so many of. Wonderful because it reminded me of you, but awful because it wasn't you saying it. I love you so much, Morgan! And miss you so much each day! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: January 05, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a good day, baby girl! Zekie had the singing part of his audition for the school musical this morning. He is so brave ~ I would have been so nervous. I think that you give all of us a little bit more courage just when we need it, I know you always did for me. Thank you for that, sweetie. I love you and miss you so much! XOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: January 04, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a good day, sweetie! Today Zekie tried out for the school musical! Isn't that awesome? I am so proud of him ~ I know that you would be, too. We all love you and miss you, Morgan! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: January 03, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a good day, sweetie! Today was a difficult day for me ~ it's just so hard starting a new year ~ or ANYTHING else ~ without you. I miss you so much! Thankfully, your brothers help me get through these days. Today, after I picked Zekie up from school, I asked them if they wanted to go by Sissy's house to see her new oven... And, of course, Clayton said "Did Sissy get a Easy Bake oven for Christmas!?!?!" They can always make me laugh! I'm glad they are here. I love you, Mo-mo! And I miss you always! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: January 02, 2007

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a good day, sweetie! Tomorrow Zekie goes back to school. Clayton started back today. We all miss you so much, baby girl! I love you! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: January 01, 2007

Today

Happy New Year, Morgan~Morgan! I hope you have had a good week, baby girl! We went to see Grandma and Grandpa in Michigan. We saw all your cousins, and aunts, and uncles, and Suzanne, Kevin, and Erinne! What a week! I love you so much, sweetie ~ and I miss you every second of everyday. XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: December 26, 2006

Today

Good Morning, Morgan~Morgan! I woke this morning thinking about you (twice)! The first time was around 6:00, and you were just right on my mind ~ thank you! I figured that I must have been dreaming about you. Then, I woke up again around 8:15, and I was dreaming about you! I was missing you so much in my dream, and then I realized it was because I had put you in school (a half day, like Clayton). So, all I had to do was tell the school that you weren't going to be coming back, but when I went to tell them, you were gone ~ someone else had picked you up. I think that is when I woke up. I miss you so much, Morgan ~ you are always on my mind ~ thank you for staying close to me! I love you! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: December 25, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan! Merry Christmas, baby girl! You have been in my thoughts all day long! I miss you so very much. Your brothers had a nice Christmas, and Santa Claus was good to them. Zeke wanted Aerosmith CD's, and Clayton wanted Mega T-Rex, and T-Rex Mountain. They were both very excited when they woke to see what Santa brought. I wonder what you would have liked this year ~ Dora, Polly Pockets, more books? I love you, Mo-mo ~ I hope that you are happy, and know how much you are loved. Aunt Debbie gave Sissy, Nana, and me each a beautiful ornament with your picture in it. It was so nice. I also gave Sissy a Christmas sweater that had a beautiful blond angel on it ~ with hearts and stars all around it. I looked all over the store, and only found two ~ I bought them both. I love you so much ~ we all do! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: December 25, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan. I wanted to tell you that yesterday I moved the cradle from our living room to our den. I have your scrapbooks in there. Sometimes Daddy or I ~ or both of us together ~ will go look at your scrapbooks. Well, Clayton saw them yesterday, and he picked one up, and dragged it across the floor to look at it. It was beautiful ~ I loved seeing him grab that book to look at. I want him to do it all the time. He looked at every single picture that was in that book, and he knew when almost everyone was taken. Thank you so much for being our Morgan, sweetie! I love you! Merry Christmas!

Date:: December 24, 2006

Today

HI Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you are having a wonderful time in Heaven celebrating the birth of Jesus. We are all missing you very much here. I love you so much, Morgan ~ it's so hard to try to celebrate anything without you here. XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: December 23, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a great day, sweetie! Today Daddy went out and bought a Christmas tree. This afternoon Zekie, Clayton, and I decorated it. It looks very nice. I have a lot of angel decorations from last year ~ and I put them all up on "your side" of the tree. Your side is the side next to the window. Clayton does the bottom half of the tree, Zekie does the top half, so I figured that that side of the tree was perfect for you. (I have the little angel figurine that Aunt Debbie gave me on the window.) I hope that you are helping decorate in Heaven. If you are, I know that you are enjoying it! We all love you , Mo-mo ~ and we miss you so much! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: December 22, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a great day, baby girl! This morning I woke up and came downstairs, and there on the island Daddy had four gifts wrapped. One from him, one frome Zekie, one from Clayton, and the biggest package from YOU! It was so sweet, and it made me so happy! He said he couldn't not include you in my birthday. We all love you so much, baby! It was wonderful, and it meant so much to me. I love you, Morgan and I miss you SO, SO, SO, SO MUCH! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: December 21, 2006

Today

Hello Miss Morgan! I hope that you have had a great day! Today Clayton had his Christmas party at school. It was very nice, but we learned that his one of his best friends is very sick and in the hospital ~ please, watch over him and his family, baby girl. I forgot to tell you that Santa Claus was at Clayton's school on Tuesday ~ the day that Clayton was sick. I told him that morning that Santa was going to be at school, and that if he wanted to try to go to school, he could see Santa. Do you know what he said to me?? He said, "It's not the REAL Santa, is it?" and I said, "No. It's probably just one of his helpers." Then he said, "No thanks, I'll pass." What a silly goose! He'll pass! I don't know what to do with him! Today I was talking to his teacher, and she was telling me how smart Clayton is. She said he has such a great imagination and vocabulary. And I told her that YOU were the ONE that REALLY talked! I can't even imagine all the talking that would be going on between you and Clayton if you were here right now ~ BUT, I do know one thing, Zekie probably would have never had a second to get a word in. I love you, baby girl! And I miss you so much!! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: December 20, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a good day, baby girl! Today was Zekie's first day off for Christmas break, so we did some shopping together. Tomorrow Clayton will have his Christmas party. He is very excited, but for some strange reason he is upset that I am bringing juice boxes in! Very strange, hmmm? I love you, sweet girl! And I miss you so much! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: December 19, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a great day, baby girl! Last night I forgot to tell you that Clayton started talking about you ~ just out of the blue... and he said that he saw you! You were sitting down eating ~ a hot dog with ketchup (no surprise there!), mustard, and pickles! Then he said, "And, she had her napkin in her lap!" He was so proud of you! So am I! Speaking of Clayton, he went to the doctor today, and he has an ear infection. So, hopefully he will be feeling a lot better by Christmas. And Zekie is out of school until next year ~ 2007! We love you so much, Morgan ~ and miss you more everyday! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: December 18, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a great day, baby girl! Zekie and Clayton had great check-ups today at the dentist office. Well, Clayton is sick, again! I can't believe it! He has been so sick this year! Today when I picked him up from school, his teacher said that he had been very quiet, and lethargic today ~ I have NEVER heard anyone say that about Clayton! He's usually pretty active, even when he is sick! I love you, sweetie ~ and I miss you so much! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: December 17, 2006

Today

Hi Precious Girl! I hope that you have had a good day, baby! Tomorrow I am taking your brothers to see Dr. Scott, your dentist. Oh Mo-mo, I will miss you so much. Thank you so much for giving me so many memories ~ I know that tomorrow I will be thinking about your visit to Dr. Scott ~ the way you just cried the whole time you were in there, and the minute we left you said what a great time you had! Sissy thought she was going to get off easy by picking you! Boy was she wrong! All afternoon that day, you just smiled that Morgan smile, showing off your beautiful clean teeth! Oh, I miss you so much! And I love you more than you will ever know! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: December 16, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a great day, sweetie bird! I was reading your guestbook, and I saw what Lisa wrote about Mackenzie dancing to the Christmas music. I remember last year I was just amazed that you remembered all the words to "Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer" after a whole year of not singing it! You always amaze me, Mo-mo! Even now! I love you so much, baby girl! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: December 15, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a great day, baby girl! Last night Clayton woke up just screaming about his ear hurting. I looked in your box for the ear numbing drops. I found two boxes that had expired, but one that had not. It was dated 11/25/05. It was so hard to think back to that date ~ it was the day after Thanksgiving last year when we took you in for an ear infection. The drops did eventually ease the pain in Claytons ear ~ I couldn't believe how much it hurt him. He said he felt fine today, and he didn't have a fever, so I let him go to school. He seems fine tonight, so I hope that continues. I love you, baby girl ~ I wish you were here all the time! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: December 14, 2006

Today

Hi Mo-mo! I hope that you have had a great day, baby! Clayton went back to school today. I told his teacher that he had hurt his foot ~ just so she could keep an eye on him ~ and you will not believe what happened! He was SO mad at me for telling her there was something wrong with him! You know his meanest face? The face he gave me was 100 times worse than that! It was awful! Thankfully, this afternoon he seemed to be over his meltdown... BOYS! Tonight we had something very interesting happen here... Zeke showed us an online computer game that he learned about in his Science class. Daddy tried to play it, and afterward somehow ended up in another game ~ an IQ game, a very easy IQ game, and each time he moved to the next level the game gave him a password. Well, on the third level, the password was... MORGAN! Can you believe that?? Just out of the blue, Morgan! Thank you for sending that to us ~ we needed it today, baby girl! I love you sweetie, and miss you so much!!! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: December 13, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a great day, baby girl! Clayton stayed home from school today ~ he was sick, AND he hurt his foot last night. He was in the den jumping from the chair to the couch last night, and as he told Dr. S, "It was fine the first five times, but the sixth time, OUCH!" He's such a nut!! Of course, she asked me if I saw the injury occur... and I didn't (because Clayton would not have been doing that if I was watching him. I was just doing something silly like making dinner! They took three x-rays, and thankfully it's not broken, but it is swollen/sprained! They told me this afternoon to try to keep it elevated for a few hours a day! YEAH! Do you think there is anyway I am going to be able to keep Clayton off his feet for even 15 minutes? I don't either! What if I send him upstairs to his room... do you think that we can call that "elevated"? Hee hee! I miss making jokes with you Morgan! That was always so much fun! It was all so much fun! I love you, sweetie, and I miss you so SO much! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: December 12, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope you have had a great day, baby! Well... Zeke and I are confused... Tonight we received an e-mail from someone who said they were a psycic (that's how they spelled it), and that when she was reading your story she had fleeting images of you in her mind. She said she was going to attach a picture of what she thought you might look like today based on images from your website. Zeke and I decided to take a peek, and that's when we became REALLY confused! The picture she sent was your baptism picture, but you had a YELLOW afro ~ that's right, YELLOW, not blond, YELLOW eyebrows (Uncle Billy would be thrilled to know that), black Harry Potter glasses, and BRIGHT RED lipstick. At first we were taken aback, but then we started thinking about all the times that we would paint pictures that we had of you, Zeke, and Clayton, and how much fun we had doing that. Then Zekie and I thought it was pretty funny! So, thanks for sending us a laugh, baby girl! It's just like your silly sense of humor! We love you!! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: December 11, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a great day, baby girl! Clayton did go back to school today, even though he still has a little bit of a cough. Thank you for watching over him, Mo-mo. You are such a good sister! I'm still having a hard time getting into the Christmas season, but we are getting a little bit of shopping done. I love you sweet girl, and we all miss you very much! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: December 10, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan! I hope that you have had a great day, baby! Today Zekie, Clayton, and I made peppermint bark! Clayton found the recipe in a magazine and he wanted to make it! Everyone here seemed to like it, I bet that you would have liked it, too! We think about you all the time, baby girl! We all love and miss you so much! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: December 09, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan! I hope that you have had a great day, baby girl! Have you seen all the girls named Morgan that have signed your guestbook? It must have something to do with the name Morgan, because you are all such sweet, caring girls. I love you sweetie pie! And I miss you so much! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: December 08, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan! I hope that you have had a great day, baby girl! Clayton stayed home from school. He started coughing the day before yesterday, but last night he really started coughing a lot! I hope that he will be feeling better by Monday. We miss you, Mo-mo! Always! I love you, baby girl! XOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: December 07, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan! I hope you have had a great day, baby girl! Tonight Clayton had his Christmas program at church. Uncle Billy (or Uncle Baby), Aunt Debbie, and Sissy all came to the show. It was hard being there in the sanctuary tonight... just a year ago tomorrow we were all gathered there for something awful and beautiful... your memorial service. I love you, sweet girl, and I miss you so much! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: December 06, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan! I hope you have had a great day! We had a kind of exciting morning here. Daddy woke up at 4:30 this morning because someone was trying to open our front door! Luckily she wasn't a burglar ~ just confused! When I told Sissy about it this afternoon, she asked me how Daddy could have heard someone downstairs trying to open the front door. I told her it was because your Daddy has the BEST ears in the world! I laughed and told her that's why YOU always called for him in the middle of the night! Even if I was sleeping right beside you ~ YOU still would call out, "Daddy!" Tonight Daddy reminded me of how you called out for him even when he was 400 miles away! I was so proud of Daddy. It was last October when you were sick, and Daddy had to go out of town for work. The first night he was gone, our power went out (naturally). And I was afraid to go to sleep that night, so the next night I was really tired, and Daddy figured out a way that he could monitor you all night long. He called my cell phone from his hotel room. Then he put his phone on speaker, and I put my phone on speaker. So when you needed to be rolled over, all you had to do was say, "Daddy!" and he said, "Hold on, Morgan! I'm going to get Mommy to roll you over." Then he called from his cell phone to our house phone, and woke me up to roll you over! It was so smart, and I know that he felt a lot better being able to hear you! Well, I love you so much, sweet girl and I miss you! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: December 05, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan! I hope that you have had a great day, baby girl! I just wanted to let you know I'm thinking about you ~ as always. I love you. XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: December 04, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I did want to tell you that you did make me smile today (I don't know how you can do that even when I am as down as I can possibly be). First, when I heard about the specail visitors you sent to Sissy. I know it meant a lot to her, and I know that she would be thrilled if you sent them to her again. The next was when I was looking through your pictures and I found the one where you were eating, or should I say done eating? You had picked up your plate, and you were pretending to dump it over the side of your tray. I posted the picture on the SMA Support Guestbook http://www.smasupport.com/guestbook/ You are just too cute and too funny, Miss Morgan! I love you so much, baby girl! XOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: December 04, 2006

Today

Hello Morgan. I wish you knew how much I wish I could hold you, and look into your eyes and tell you. Or how much I wish that I could hear you say, "Hi Mommy!" back to me. I wish I could have one more moment with you. I wish that I could remember every second I spent with you. I wish that I held you more. I wish that you were here. I can't believe that it has been one whole year since I have held you, since I kissed your beautiful face, since I last heard your voice. Oh Morgan! How could this have happened? It's so wrong! I'm so sorry. I am. I promised you that I would take care of you, and I didn't. The night that you flew to Heaven, they told me that I could hold you ~ but you were gone, and I didn't want to hold you knowing that you weren't coming back to me. I wish that I had known how long forever was, then, because I would have never let go of you now. I love you so much, Morgan...

Date:: December 03, 2006

Today

Hello Morgan~Morgan. I hope that you have had a nice day in Heaven, baby girl. It's a very sad day for us. I know that you "officially" flew to Heaven on the 4th, but I think your spirit was already flying on the 3rd. I hope that in Heaven, they celebrated the anniversary of your arrrival there ~ like we celebrate your birthday ~ your arrival on Earth ~ here. I know they are happy to have you up there. But, we still miss you so very much here. This morning Daddy, Zekie, Clayton, and I went to church. We donated the flowers in "loving memory" of you. We thought about putting a memorial in the newspaper, but decided not to. We're not ready to do that yet, if ever. It was hard enough to see your beautiful face, and read your name on the page in the paper the first time. Anyway in church this morning, when I opened my hymnal I noticed that there was a program for previous service in the book. That has never happened to me before... Anyway, I opened it to look at the date ~ I thought maybe it was from last week... but it wasn't Miss Morgan! It wasn't from November at all... it was from October ~ October 29th to be exact! Your birthday! I think that may have been your way of letting me know you are staying close to us. It's hard, Morgan. To keep going is the hardest thing I have ever done. I love you so much, and I miss you more than ever, baby girl. XOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: December 02, 2006

Today

Hi Elizabeth Morgan! I hope that you have had a great day, baby girl... I haven't! I miss you so much, Morgan. You know what? Everything I do...reminds me of you somehow, someway. Tonight Zekie, Clayton, and I went to Costco and I saw a Little Mermaid activty set. It had Aerial, her fish friend, and a bathtub. I saw it and the first thing I thought of was YOU! I thought about when we went to Nags Head and we had the hot tub in our cottage. I remember you took two of your Barbies into the tub to play with ~ it was the mommy Barbie, and her little girl Kelly. You were so smart, and had so much fun playing with them! I miss it all so much, Morgan. Do you know how happy I was? I was so happy ~ each and every day. I love you, baby girl! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: December 01, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a great day, baby girl! I love you so much! Last night Zekie was working on the computer, so I did not get a chance to write to you here, but I know that you heard my message. I was thinking about your fingernails... I found something in the van when I was cleaning it out, that looked like one of your fingernails. I'm not sure if it was, but I know exactly what your nails look like, and how much different they are from Zekes and Claytons. I guess that is just one of those things that a mommy just knows about her babies. Tonight Clayton and I went to MacArthur Mall while Zekie was at the Holly Ball (a dance at school). Clayton was very patient while I tried to do some Christmas shopping at Dilliards. I know that you would have had a ball shopping there ~ like we did so many times! He did, however, manage to set off the alarms on the escalator (I didn't even know there were alarms on the escalator). He was so funny when he did it. First, he blushed ~ REALLY BLUSHED, and then he apologized to the little alarm box, and ran off. And then I ran after him laughing. I guess it's good thing we didn't get detained! It's always exciting with Clayton around! On Monday, Zekie will find out if he makes the basketball team. I hope so. Well, I love you Mo-mo! And you know how much I miss you! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: November 29, 2006

Today

HI Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a great day, sweet baby! I miss you so much, baby girl ~ it is so hard for all of us. Today Clayton lined up about twenty stuffed animals ~ I think about half of them were yours ~ and I asked him what he was doing with them. He told me that they were all praying for you. I just miss you so much... I love you, baby girl! XOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: November 28, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a great day, baby girl! You have been busy, haven't you? Today, Lisa (from England) e-mailed me and asked me if you liked elephants. I wrote her back and told her that you did. Then she told me this very strange story... She said "something 'strange' has been happening in my house for a few nights now." Lisa has a lovely cream coloured elephant placed on a very high shelf in the corner on my living room. The shelf is far too high for her children Mackenzie or even Elijah to reach. The elephant is positioned facing the front door which is on the next wall to it. The reason it is like that is because according to the chinese, it brings good luck to have it facing a door. Anyway, for the past three or four mornings, when she came into the lounge the elephant is either facing the opposite way or looking actually into the corner! Each day she has thought it strange and placed it back in the correct position. Then last night before she went to bed, she suddenly thought, could this be Morgan? So she checked the elephant was positioned the correct way and went to bed. When she got into bed she said goodnight to Morgan and said to her - "OK Morgan I know this could be you, but show me proof, move the elephant again." Then she went to sleep......... This morning the elephant was facing the wrong way!!!!!! This morning Lisa e-mailed me and said, "All I can say is that Morgan is the most clever girl I know!! It must be her!" She has moved it back to normal - but, if you move it again, Lisa said she is going to leave it! Whenever you do stuff like that around here ~ I think I'm losing my mind! You are so smart, baby girl! I love you so much, Morgan Saville! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: November 27, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a great day, baby girl! I am so glad to hear that you visited Sissy! I know that's the best gift she could ask for! I love you, Mo-mo! And I miss you so very much! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: November 26, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a great day, sweetie! Clayton is so silly! He just came up behind me with a pen in his hand, and he told me that he was going to write "I love Morgan!" on the back of my jacket ~ what a silly goose! Tomorrow is a big day! Both your brothers will be going back to school after their break, and it's Sissy's birthday. Please send her a special sign ~ I know it will mean a lot to her. I love you so much, Morgan ~ and thank you for all of your angel power! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: November 25, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope you have had a great day, sweetie bird! I'm sorry that I have been so sad for the past few days, I just miss you so much baby girl, and I want you to know. One thing I didn't tell you yesterday was that I found a reindeer ~ a lighted reindeer. We bought it for you ~ you would love it! It moves it head from side to side, and Clayton decided that we needed to put a red bow tie on his neck. He is in our front yard right next to the spiral Christmas tree. Daddy and I were thinking that we may go ahead and buy an outside Christmas decoration for you each year ~ that way you can enjoy it when you look down to Earth! We love you so much, Mo-mo! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: November 24, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you had a great day today, baby girl! I'm sorry that I was so sad yesterday ~ I just miss you so much, and I always will... until we are together again. This morning (not at the crack of dawn) I did a little shopping ~ not much, though. I had a hard time in the one store I went to. Within a few minutes after walking into the store, guess what I heard? A voice over the loud speaker (which I guess was radio music) say, "Hi Mark!" It was the song that you loved to watch, sing and dance to on your Yahoo! videos. Shania Twain's song "I'm having party!" ~ your favorite song! I don't think I have heard it on the radio for a very long time...if ever. I told Daddy about it, and he thought you sent it to make me smile, and I know he's right, but I really just wanted to see you sitting in your highchair dancing to the music. Everywhere I looked I saw things that I thought you would like ~ I found more for you than I did for Zekie or Clayton. I don't think that I am going to be able to go out shopping this year ~ it's too hard still. On my way home, I started thinking about what we did last year the day after Thanksgiving. Do you remember? We took you to see Dr. Mink. You had an ear infection. It was the first time we had visited their new offices. I'm glad that I have a memory of you there. I love you so much, Morgan! XOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: November 23, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! Happy Thanksgiving, my baby! Well, sweetie, I thought that today would be okay, but it was hard. One of the hardest days I have had so far. I don't like to tell you when I'm sad, but I think that you probably understand. This morning it was rainy and cold ~ a perfect day for us to take a nice warm bubble bath! Clayton was a little bit off today ~ he had a few melt-downs. He kept telling me that he couldn't remember Thanksgiving. He probably just misses you. It is so hard for us to do things without you, because you are so missed, baby girl. A few weeks ago, I told Lisa (from England) how much you loved Thanksgiving ~ being with us, making the food, eating the food, everything! She suggested that I set a place for you, and we did. We set a spot for you in the high chair. We even went up to the FROG and found the turkey decorations that you and Clayton made last year. Last Thanksgiving was our last holiday with you, and it is so hard to look back on last year and realize how close we were to losing you ~ how short our time was. I can't stand it, so most of the time, I just put it in the back of my mind. I'm sorry, Morgan. I'm sorry you're gone. I'm sorry that we couldn't keep you here. My heart breaks a little bit more each day without you, baby. I need you. I love you so much...

Date:: November 22, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a great day, baby girl! I love you, and miss you so much! Tomorrow is Thanksgiving. I was making a sweet potato casserole today thinking, "Who is going to eat this?" Your brothers don't even like sweet potatoes. Daddy will eat some, but I think that I made them for you. I love you so much, Morgan! XOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: November 21, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope you have had a great day, sweetie! Today Clayton had his Thanksgiving Feast at school. We signed up to make pumpkin pie ~ because that was what he wanted to make. So this afternoon when I picked him up, he said everyone had pumpkin pie except for, then he told me he doesn't even like it! What a silly boy! Zeke had Thanksgiving food at school also, but he only ate a roll! I hope they are planning to eat more than that here on Thanksgiving! I remember how much you LOVE Thanksgiving food! I will miss watching you eat Thanksgiving dinner this year, sweetie! I love you so much! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: November 20, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan! I hope that you have had a wonderful day, baby girl! You are too much! I had another wonderful dream about you last night/this morning! It was just great! I wrote it down in your journal so I wouldn't forget it. Thank you so much for your visits ~ I really need them right now! I love you so much, Morgan ~ and you know how much I miss you! XOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: November 19, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a great day, sweetie! This afternoon we took Sissy and GrandDaddy downtown. They are going on a cruise to the Caribbean. I hope they have a wonderful trip! The ship was huge! Later this afternoon, Clayton burned his finger... on the stove. But somehow he managed to convince himself it was my fault for having a candle lit. He told me that I should never have a candle lit in our housem because that is when people can get burned ~ okay, that is true, but he did burn his finger on the stove ~ NOT the candle! He is so silly, Morgan! Thank you again for that wonderful dream. I've been thinking about it all weekend! I love you, baby girl! XOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: November 18, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a wonderful day! Thank you so much for visiting me this morning. What a wonderful way to wake up! I wrote about my dream of you in your journal, because I want to remember (every detail of) all your visits. They make me very happy. Thank you so much, Mo-mo! I love you sweetie, and I miss you so much! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: November 17, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope you have had a great day, baby girl! You know, Mo-mo, you are really something! This morning, Lisa e-mailed me and asked me about your bracelet. Your silver bracelet that Elsa found for you. So I told her that Elsa was traveling for work and she came across this bracelet that was made by an Indian Chief to help heal a sick child. I told Lisa that from the day it came in the mail, until the day you flew to Heaven it was never off your wrist for more than a few minutes. Amazingly enough, she and her daughter Mackenzie have the same type of bracelet. That is quite a coincidence, don't you think? You must have thought it was pretty funny! I love you so much, Morgan! XOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: November 16, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope you have had a great day. sweetie bird! Guess what?!?! Last night, after Zekie went to sleep he came back down stairs (I know! He does that all the time!). He Had in his arms the painting he made of Sponge Bob that was hanging on his wall in his room. He said, "Mom, when is Morgan's birthday?" I said, "October 29." He said, "I know, but what was the year that she was born?" I said, "Oh! 2002." He turned over the painting, and said, "Look at this." The date he painted it was on October 29, 2003 ~ your first birthday! We both thought it was neat that he made something that will always remind him of you. I thought it was pretty appropriate since you always pretended to be Sponge Bob (while I was Patrick!). We love you so much, Morgan!! And we all miss you so very, very much!! XOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: November 15, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan Saville! I hope that you had a great day today! This morning I had conferences with Zekie's teachers. It occured to me that last year when I met with his teachers it was to explain to them that Daddy and I would be traveling quite a bit to Detroit for the clinical trials with you. Just one year ago... our lives were so different. After the conferences, we did a little Christmas shopping ~ I know! Can you believe I actually started before December 20th? I think Aunt Debbie must be rubbing off on me! She probably has all her Christmas shopping done by now... for next year! This afternoon we took Clayton to swimming class, and he showed Zekie how he can swim underwater! I was talking to one of the other moms today (the one that asked me how many children I had, and I told her all about you). She asked me if we had planned anything for December 4th... Well, no I don't ~ I don't know what to do. I do know that no matter what we do, you already know how much we love you and miss you. I love you, Morgan! XOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: November 14, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that today was a beautiful day in Heaven, sweetie! Today I was thinking about your toes ~ your big toes, to be specific! They were so cute! I was thinking about how we would decorate your big toenails. We would put nail stickers on them ~ butterflies, holly leaves, even hearts. I miss doing that with you ~ I miss doing everything with you. I still love to do things with Zekie and Clayton ~ we all just wish you were still a part of everything we do, Mo-mo! I love you so much! XOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: November 13, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope you have had a great day, sweetie! Today I told another mom at Clayton's school about you. She was so sweet ~ she had actually red some of the articles about you, and told me just how beautiful you are, and how happy we seemed. It was very nice. I love to talk about you ~ but, it's hard for me ~ just because I miss you so much. It does make me feel better though ~ you will always be a part of my daily life. I love you so much, sweetie! I miss you! XOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: November 12, 2006

Today

HI Morgan~Morgan! I hope you have had a great day, sweetie! This morning we went over to Sissy's and met your new cousin, Emily. She's beautiful! This afternoon it just poured, so we didn't do much. Your brothers are getting ready to go back to school tomorrow, and Zeke starts basketball tryouts tomorrow. I love you, baby girl, and miss you so much! XOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: November 11, 2006

Today

HI Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a great day, baby girl! Yesterday, we drove by Mt. Trashmore. I've been avoiding driving by there this month. The reason? Because last year, November 6, 2005, you, Clayton, Daddy and I went up there to fly a kite! It was a beautiful, warm, sunny day ~ just like yesterday. I remember you holding the kite as it went up, up, up in the sky! You were so happy, so vibrant, and so alive! Oh my gosh! I can't believe you're gone! I'm so sorry, Morgan! I just miss you so much. I love you, baby girl! XOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: November 10, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope you have had a great day, sweetie! Today Zekie and Clayton had the day off so we saw the movie “Flushed Away.” It was a pretty good movie. This evening, Clayton waited for the premier of “The Best Day Ever” Sponge Bob episode. While waiting, we saw the “Where’s Gary?” episode. It was very hard for me to watch ~ I just kept thinking about you. Last year (11/11/05) that episode premiered. Do you remember? I do. You and I teased Zekie because he missed it. We kept saying, “Grandma likes to boogie woogie!” Tonight it had such a different meaning for me. Sponge Bob talked about how much he missed Gary, and how he knew he had taken him for granted. That’s how I feel, sweetie ~ I just never could foresee my life without you in it. I still can’t. I love you so much, Morgan! And I miss you more each day! XOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: November 09, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a great day, sweetie! This morning Daddy and I had our parent/teacher conference with Clayton's teachers. They said he was doing great. You're going to laugh when I tell you the only thing he Needs Improvement on... Did you already guess it? It's TALKING at appropriate times! He is just such a chatterbox! They did mention that he tells some very creative stories with some very nice language. I've noticed over the past two months that he is using a lot of "big" words ~ for example he will say things like, "Well actually, I'd prefer something else." Today he sorted some of his cars, and he showed me the row with "the least" amount of cars, and then he explained to me what "the least" meant. He is starting to sound like... YOU! With all those big words you loved, like "delicious!" I wonder what new things you'd be saying today, baby girl... I love you so much, Mo-mo! XOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: November 08, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope you have had a great day, sweetie! This morning on the radio, they were talking about games that children play. One of the things that Jennifer mentioned was a "Sit & Spin." She said that she had one for Carly! I started thinking about how Judy was always thinking of new and exciting ways to keep you interested in your physical therapy, and she brought a Sit & Spin over for you. It really helped you with your balance ~ I remember watching you just wiggle your bottom to move the Sit & Spin back and forth ~ you would laugh that sweet laugh, and your eyes...your eyes would just dance! I love you and miss you so much, Mo-mo! XOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: November 07, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope you have had a great day, sweetie bird! I love you and miss you so much! XOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: November 06, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan Saville! I hope you have had a wonderful day, baby girl! Today I took your brothers back to the doctor! Clayton was still coughing. Dr. Mink put Clayton on some antibotics, so hopefully he will be feeling much better soon! Tonight Sissy and I were talking about you and your "bicycle." We talked about you would just take off whenever you were driving your bicycle, and how Clayton and Zekie would say, "Morgan's leaving the cul-de-sac!" That was one of my favorite things to hear. And I just loved to see nothing but the back of your head as you took off! You are so funny, and so determined! I just couldn't believe how focused you were on driving down the street! I love you so much, sweet baby! XOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: November 05, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a great day, sweet girl! This morning we went to church. It was All Saints Sunday. We remembered the Saints that have gone before us... to Heaven. We read aloud a list of the church members that have gone before us. Of course, your name was on the list. I must have been a little bit nervous or something, because as soon as the sermon began, I started coughing and couldn't stop. I had to leave the sanctuary. Then when we had communion, I ended up dropping Daddy's grape juice all over the floor. It is amazing how much of a mess less than an ounce of grape juice can make! Anyway, Daddy said we need to start sitting in the back, so that I can make a quick getaway! This afternoon I started going through your medical supplies. You have so much stuff, and we don't need it, but someone else might. I am going to send that out to anyone who needs it, and the rest to SMA Support. I love you so much, Morgan! And I miss you every minute of everyday, baby! XOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: November 04, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope you have had a great day, baby girl! Today I was thinking about your thumbs ~ kind of strange, isn't it?? Well, I was thinking about how they sloped downward, and were so very slender. They were as soft as silk, and were always a little bit colder than the rest of your hand. I really miss your thumbs ~ your beautiful perfect thumbs. I love you so much, Morgan. XOXOXOXOX

Date:: November 03, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope you have had a great day, sweetie! Today after I picked Zekie up from school, we all went to Costco. Zekie needed to get his glasses adjusted, and I started thinking about the day that Daddy, Clayton, you, and I went to Costco. The lady at the eyeglasses counter just could not keep her eyes off of you. The way she was staring at you, I thought she was looking at you because you weren't walking. I had never noticed anybody stare at you like that. Then, she started talking to me ~ telling me how beautiful you were. She asked me how old you were and I told her you were two. She was amazed at how smart you were, and then I told her that you had SMA, and what it was. She said that she did not realize you couldn't walk, she thought you were just very calm ~ ie. the opposite of Clayton whose was jumping from the front of the cart to the back and out! I love that I have so many memories of you ~ and I still have them, Morgan. Even though you aren't physically here, you are always a part of everything we do. I love you and miss you so much!! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: November 02, 2006

Today

HI Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a great day up in Heaven! The weather down here tricked me today. It was nice and sunny when Zekie went to school, but by the time Clayton was ready to go, it was COLD and cloudy! And this afternoon Aunt Jamie e-mailed us a picture of her in Michigan where it was SNOWING like crazy today! We never really saw much snow when you were here, but that's okay, because I don't think that you would have liked it much ~ you're too much like your mommy, and we don't like cold, wet things very much! The one time I did get you out in the snow, I had Clayton on the sled behind you, and once we went down the driveway, he kind of pushed you off the side of the sled (but, he was only about two and half years old then). Well, sweetie bird, I love you so much! And you know how much I miss you ~ I hope tomorrow is another wonderful day for you, baby girl!

Date:: November 01, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan Saville! I hope that you have had a great day, sweetie! Guess what?? Something strange happened this morning ~ are you surprised? I found a little straw hat in our hallway... on the floor... very close to your portrait. It looked like a hat for a little girl ~ because it had a wide brim and it was too small for Clayton's head. I asked him and Zekie about the hat, because I had never seen it before. They knew nothing about it. So then I asked Daddy. He said that he did not see it, either. Last night we did not have any trick or treaters come inside (except for Callie and Aunt Debbie), so I don't think that someone left it here. It just appeared this morning. I have no idea where this hat came from... I hope it was from you, Morgan ~ but I am starting to think I am losing my mind. I know one thing for sure ~ if it was you, I bet you think it is so funny that I am trying to figure out where else it could have come from! I love you so much, baby girl! XOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: October 31, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope you are out trick or treating tonight! Today you have weighed heavy on my mind all day. The first thing I thought of when I woke up this morning was how last year you were going to be Snow White (the costume Aunt Debbie bought for you) and then on Halloween morning you changed your mind! You started the day singing "I'm bringing home a baby bumble bee! Won't my momma be so proud of me?" So you were a bumble bee ~ and the cutest one I have ever seen! Buzz! Buzz! Clayton dressed up as Shrek, and he went out trick or treating with Callie (Uncle Billy and Aunt Debbie's puppy) ~ she was... Princess Fiona! Zekie has finally reached the age where he is too old to go out trick or treating, but he did dress up and go to a Halloween Party. He dressed in black pants, a black shirt, and a black tie, and went as Billie Joe Armstrong the lead singer of Green Day. I stayed home to hand out candy, and I dressed up in the witch costume that we bought last year! I love you so much, and I miss you so much.

Date:: October 30, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! Happy Day after your Birthday! I really miss you, sweetie! I wish that I was with you yesterday ~ and every day. I have a funny story to tell you about. A few weeks ago, I started thinking about what I should do for your birthday. I wanted to get some balloons for your your birthday. I was thinking four, because you would be turning four years old. I had this great idea to release them to the Heavens, so that you could "play' with them. Clayton and I started talking about my idea, and he was just TOTALLY against it. I thought it was because he wanted the ballons for himself ~ and I'm not convinced that didn't impact his decision not to have balloons ~ but he said it was because if we released the balloons Morgan would not be able to "play" with them because "They will explode when they reach the atmosphere." That is EXACTLY what he said! I guess that Clayton is taking after Daddy a lot more than I thought he was. Anyway, he was so against the balloon idea, I didn't push it. Maybe next year!?! I love you and miss you so much each and every day my sweetest baby! I love you so much!! XOXOXOXOXOX Big Hugs!!

Date:: October 29, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan! I hope you have had a great 4th birthday in Heaven, sweetie! Well, I ordered a cake earlier this week ~ a birthday cake for you! It was a pink and purple princess cake. She had a tiara on her head, and a wand in her hand ~ Aunt Debbie thought it looked just like you did on your birthday last year. When I brought it home and Daddy and I looked at it together, we thought it looked a lot like the princess from your dreams... You remember, right? The recurring dream you had. The one where Daddy and I would say, “Did you have any dreams?” and you would say, “OH! I had all the good dreams!” Then we would say “What did you dream about?” and you would say, “I dreamed that the Princess threw me in the trash can.” Anyway, the cake said, “Thank you. Love, Morgan’s Family,” and this afternoon Zekie, Clayton, Aunt Debbie, and I took it to the Fire and Rescue Station to thank them for all they did to save you. It was amazing so many of the crew that was here was there today ~ I think maybe ~ just maybe you planned it that way ~ thank you. I know that they did everything for you ~ and I am so thankful that we have them here, and I just wanted your birthday to be a celebration! I couldn’t see not celebrating such a wonderful day. Sure, we are sad ~ we are all sad, because we miss you so much, but I loved every minute that you were here on this Earth from to moment I first felt you move til the last breath you took ~ I loved every second. I love you so much Morgan, and I miss you more than I thought it was possible. XOXOXOXOXOX P.S. I posted a picture of your cake on the SMASupport guestbook http://www.smasupport.com/guestbook/ Love you!

Date:: October 29, 2006

Today

Happy Birthday, Morgan! I love you! Clayton loves Morgan!

Date:: October 29, 2006

Today

Good Morning and Happy Birthday, Morgan! This morning I woke up and heard a bird singing outside our window. It sounded just like spring. I hope that you have a wonderful birthday celebration today in Heaven. I love you so much, Morgan.

Date:: October 28, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope you have had a great day, baby girl! Tonight, Daddy, Zekie and Clayton watched a "boy movie." I tried to watch it, but it was just impossible. I know that you wouldn't have made it through it either. We probably would have ended up upstairs painting your toenails for your birthday, tomorrow! I wonder what color you would have wanted them painted ~ probably pink. And they would have been beautiful!! I love you and miss you so much, Mo-mo! XOXOXOXOXOXO

Date:: October 27, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that today was a wonderful day, sweetie! You have been busy, haven't you? I just wanted to thank you for the gift you sent today. Were you giving us a birthday present? I think so. You are the best daughter, and most wonderful angel. I love you so much, baby girl ~ with all my heart! XOXOXOXOX

Date:: October 26, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a great day, baby girl! This afternoon we received Clayton's school pictures back ~ one is very good, he looks like he is laughing, and the other one he has his silly smile in ~ I actually like that one, too. He told me, he doesn't have a picture of his baby sister. And I showed him the picture of you that I laminated for him last January. Then he said he needed a picture of him with his baby sister, Morgan. He is always thinking about you! I was looking at the picture on the front of your web page ~ your Baptism picture ~ you know that was taken just three years ago? That is all. Just three years ~ so much has happened, so much has changed. One thing that is still the same, I love you more each day, and I always will! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: October 25, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope you have had a wonderful day, sweetie! This morning I met with the Kiwanis, and talked to them about SMA. They are really wonderful group that is dedicated to serving children. I really enjoyed meeting them. I was telling them that four years ago, I was about to deliver my third child ~ my first (and LONG AWAITED) little girl. When I left it hit me ~ just four years ago. The first time I held you in my arms, the first time I heard your cry, the first time I saw your beautiful face... This afternoon, Clayton started the second session of swimming classes. You won't believe this, but he actually swam under water today! I was really proud of him ~ I know that you would have been, also! I love you and miss you so much! XOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: October 24, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope you have had a great day, sweetie! This month has been pretty busy and I have not told you about all the people that have birthdays this month ~ you are in good company with all the October birthdays! Let's see ~ there was Carly who turned three on the 11th, Papaw on the 12th, Aunt Debbie ~ and the big 4-0 on the 18th, Buki on the 22nd, and then GrandDaddy on the 23rd! Wow ~ that is a lot of birthdays. Your birthday has to be a celebration here on Earth ~ because it was one of the best days of our lives. It is the anniversary of a wonderful day ~ the day we first laid eyes on you. I love you so much, Morgan ~ and I miss you more than I can say. XOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: October 23, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope you have had a great day, sweetie bird! I miss you so much ~ you have always been such a bright spot in my world. Clayton missed swimming class today ~ he is still coughing and I just didn't want him out and wet with a cold. This morning he was singing a little song he made up about... YOU! He sang, "Once there was a little lady named Morgan, and she went up to Heaven..." It was actually very sweet. I hope you heard it. Zekie is going through a rough time right now ~ please stay close to him. He could use some help from a sweet little guardian angel. I love you, sweetie, and I miss you so much. XOXOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: October 22, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan! I hope you have had a great day! Today Zekie went to Sunday school, but Clayton had to stay home. He has a little cold. I really am missing you ~ I want to be with you for your birthday. Oddly enough, that day four years ago was one of the happiest three days of my life, and now it's... it's different. I love you so much Morgan ~ and I miss you with all my heart. Big hugs, baby girl!

Date:: October 21, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope you have had a great day, baby girl! Today we went to the fall fair at Zekie's school. Clayton was so funny ~ the first thing he did was drag me to the gym where the toys are! I don't know how he remembered that from last year, but he did. This evening, Clayton and I went to Toys R Us and bought The Little Mermaid DVD. And guess what Daddy and Zekie are doing? Daddy took Zekie to his first concert! Aerosmith! Zeke was so excited ~ I hope he is having a good time (even with Daddy there). You are always ~ ALWAYS ~ on my mind and I still love you more every day baby girl. You are my precious. XOXOXOXOXOX

Date:: October 20, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope you have had a great day, sweetie! We are doing okay ~ we all just miss you ~ every second of everyday. Tomorrow is the Fall Fair at Zekie's school. Last year, you had a little bit of a cold still, so you stayed home with Daddy in the morning while I took Zekie and Clayton to the fair. Clayton just loves the toys, and last year the first thing that he found was a little Polly Pocket house for you. He pulled me over to it and said, "We have to get this for Morgan." Everyday is hard without you, Mo-mo ~ please stay close to us ~ like you have been ~ over the next week. We need you so much, sweetie. I love you so much! XOXOXOXOX

Date:: October 19, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope you have had a great day, sweetie bird! All day long today I have been thinking about all the funny things you did to make Daddy and Clayton CRAZY! I can see you sitting on the potty putting your little hand through the handle, calling Daddy, and him saying, "Morgan! Do not put your hand under that handle." You would immediately pick up your hand and put it back on top of the handle, but the second Daddy was diverted, you would put your little hand back through that handle and wiggle your fingers ~ just taunting him! You are so funny!! Thank you for giving me so many great things to remember ~ you know I just wanted soo sooo soooo soooo many more! I love you so much, baby girl! XOXOXOX

Date:: October 18, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan! I hope that you have had a great few days, baby girl! You know what? You are truly amazing! I really needed to feel close to you this week ~ and you have been close ~ sending me signs everywhere! Thank you so much Morgan! I love you and miss you so much, baby girl! XOXOXOXOXOXO

Date:: October 16, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan! I hope that you are having a good day, sweetie! I just wanted to let you know how much I love you, baby girl! I hope you know that. I miss you so very much! XOXOXOX

Date:: October 15, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan, baby! I hope that today was another wonderful day for you. I'm really missing you today ~ like everyday ~ it just seems like more today. I wish that you were here ~ more than anything ~ I just wish that you were still here, baby girl. This week, Daddy and I are going out of town again. He is going to Florida for a conference for work. Thank you for all you do for us, sweetie. I love you and miss you so very much! XOXOXOXO

Date:: October 14, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan! I hope you have had a great day, sweetie! Today Clayton and I went to Build-A-Scarecrow to benefit the Children's Hospital. Nana's (aka Aunt Betty Anne) "Circle" puts on the event each year. We built our scarecrow right next to Chris, Kelly, and Hayden. (Theirs was much better than ours was) And as bad as ours was, it got worse from the garden center to our front yard! I think he ~ or she ~ okay IT lost some straw in our van. Then it's pants would not stay up, so Daddy and I safety pinned the pants to the sweater it is wearing ~ have you ever heard of a scarecrow in a sweater? That's not all ~ it has a Liz Clairborne blazer over the sweater. It's kind of a preppy scarecrow. I knew it was bad when people we didn't even know were walking by gasping, and saying, "Oh! That is a really scary scarecrow!" We brought it home and put it in the yard. Daddy suggested that I put the pole into the mole hole we have in the front yard. I did and it must have gone down three feet! So NOW we have a preppy midget scarecrow! Tonight we went out to dinner for Aunt Debbie's birthday. It was so nice. I love you sweetie ~ and I miss you all the time ~ please be close to us, Morgan ~ we really need the angel touch right now ~ I love you, baby girl. XXOOXXOOXXOOXXOO ~ Big Hugs!!

Date:: October 13, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a wonderful few days. We are home ~ it's nice to be back. We missed Zekie and Clayton ~ and, of course you ~ so much! Today I was looking out the window of the plane, and as far as I could see was nothing but clouds. I started thinking and wondering if people in Heaven get their own clouds ~ it really looked like they just went on forever. If they do, I know that your cloud is always close to us, because Clayton always says (when he sees a little cloud), "There's Morgan's cloud." I felt like I was so close to Heaven up in those clouds... so close to you. I love you, sweetie ~ so very much! Big hugs!

Date:: October 10, 2006

Today

Hi Mo-Mo! I hope you had a great day, baby girl ~ or maybe I should say "Big Girl!" Do you want to hear something strange?? Guess what happened today? Are you laughing that adorable little laught of yours? I think you are... you silly girl! Well, last night I turned off all the lights downstairs before I went to sleep. And I thought, "Hmmm... it seems awfully dark down here tonight." Then I realized that the light over the sink was off. Oh well, I wasn't too worried about it ~ so I went to sleep. When I woke up this morning, guess what??? The light to the fish tank was on! I asked Daddy if he did it, but NO! I asked Zekie if he did it, and he said NO! And I know that Clayton wouldn't even come downstairs in the middle of the night. So, I have to believe that Fishsteak has somehow figured out how to turn his light on, or it was something else... I think I'm going to go with the latter ~ I mean Fishsteak doesn't even have thumbs. Then I read the message from Lisa in your guestbook, about how clever you are and that you send signs to let us know you are always near ~ Lisa's exactly right. You are so clever, and we love just love your signs, Morgan. I love you and miss you so much! XOXOXOXOX

Date:: October 09, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope you have had a great day, sweetie! Today Clayton had a field trip to the pumpkin patch ~ and Daddy went with him. They picked out a very nice pumpkin, and they even went on a hay ride (honestly, I'm not sure how much you and I would have liked that). Thank you for all that you do to help us ~ I love that little Morgan Magic! I love you and miss you so much, baby girl! XOXOXOXO

Date:: October 08, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan! I hope you have had a great day, my baby! We went to church this morning. Clayton just loves his Sunday school teacher, Ms. Pat. She is so sweet, and she really likes him. Zekie doesn't seem quite as excited as Clayton is, but we don't have to drag him... so that's good. We just had a quiet afternoon getting ready for the next week. Daddy and I are going out of town for a couple of days this week, so I am trying to get everything organized here. I love you, sweet girl ~ and we miss you more than ever! XOXOXOXOXO

Date:: October 07, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope you had a great day, baby! Today was yucky here ~ we stayed inside most of the day. I framed some of your artwork, and we showed it to Aunt Debbie and Sissy when they came over. I found a sticker with your name on it... in RHINESTONES ~ I put it on your artwork poster! You’d love it! This afternoon Zekie and I went to Costco, and I saw a Dora Castle ~ I know you would have loved it for your birthday. Ummm... it’s hard to believe that in 22 days, you would be four years old ~ I wonder how you would be amazing me now. I love you and miss you so much, baby girl! XOXOXOXO

Date:: October 06, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope you had a great day, baby girl! Clayton stayed home from school today ~ for a few reasons. He has had the sniffles all week ~ or as he says it, he has "the sneezing and the wheezing." He isn't really sick ~ but I thought he could use some "down time." We did go to the library. As we were walking in there, I thought, "Wow! If Morgan was here, we would come here all the time." Then I thought, "Right! Clayton's five years old, and I have only taken him twice." I wish that I had taken you to the library. I know that you would have loved it. The children's section is wonderful. Please stay close to me for the next few weeks ~ I need you. I love you, sweetie bird ~ and I miss you so much.

Date:: October 05, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope you had a great day, sweetie! I meant to tell you last night that Nana (Aunt Betty Anne) came over last night. She brought Halloween goodies for Clayton and Zekie... and she brought a Halloween hair "scrunchie" for you ~ she said it was for me, but I know she was thinking about you when she bought it. I think that everytime she came over she brought you a neat hair clip, barrette, or scrunchie. She loves you so much ~ we all do, sweetie bird. And we all miss you so very much. I love you! XOXOXOXO

Date:: October 04, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope you have had a great day! I love you so much, baby girl! Today I was folding laundry, and thinking about folding your clothes ~ I miss it. I miss making your latte every day, streching your legs, talking to you... I wish that my best girl was here, but I think that you know how and what I feel. I love you sweetie ~ Big Hugs!

Date:: October 03, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope you had a great day, sweetie! I love you! This morning Clayton said he wasn't feeling well and did not feel up to going to school. He does have sniffles, but I think he is okay. I sent him on to school just to give it "the old kindergarten try," and he was fine. I hope he will feel perfect tomorrow. I love you and miss you so much, sweetie! XOXOXOXO

Date:: October 02, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope you have had a great day, sweetie! Today Zekie had the day off from school for Yom Kippur, so he and I went to MacArthur Mall together. Then we picked up Clayton and took him to his swimming lessons. It was a nice day ~ but as always ~ you are the only thing that could have made today better. I love you and miss you so much! Big Hugs!

Date:: October 01, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope you have had a wonderful day, sweetie! Today Clayton and I played with modeling clay ~ your modeling clay. I thought about how much he has changed in the past year ~ I wish that I could see you at four years old, because I know you would be a lot of fun! I love you and miss you so much, Morgan! XOXOXO

Date:: September 30, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope you have had a great day, baby doll! We all went down to the Neptune Festival today, and we split a funnel cake. Sissy and I were talking about taking you to the carnival at Mt. Trashmore last year and how you loved that funnel cake (amazingly enough, I don't remember Sissy letting ME have funnel cakes when I was a little girl). She was pulling it apart for you in little bit size pieces, and she just couldn't pull it off fast enough for you! You always were my little Carb Queen! I love you and miss you so much, Mo-mo! Big Hugs!

Date:: September 29, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope you are having a great day, sweetie bird! I love you so much ~ I just want to give you a big hug! So I am sending you one, baby girl. I love you, Mo-mo.

Date:: September 28, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope you had a great day, sweetie! Today I was at the island in the kitchen and I heard a noise to my left, so I turned and then I heard a noise to my right. I laughed and thought, "Somebody's playing with me!" Thank you. I love you so much ~ do you remember how we would say, "I need you" to each other? I need you ~ I love you and miss you so much, Mo-mo. You are my best girl, forever! XOXOXOX

Date:: September 27, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope you have had a great day, sweetie bird! Clayton had his swimming lessons today ~ thank you for watching over him while he jumped up and down right next to the side of the pool today. I just knew that he was going to fall and crack something. Zekie's progress reports came home ~ he is doing very well ~ I'm so proud of him, and I know that you would be, too. Last night, I had a dream about you. I woke up at 2:16, and all I could think was "Thank you, Morgan for visiting me." I don't remember the entire dream ~ and what I do remember would probably make you laugh... okay ~ here it is (I'm only going to tell you this crazy dream because I never could resist your laugh). Okay, I had you in a stander (that ~ for some reason ~ was more like an electric candle??), and the light started to flicker, so I pulled you out (of course Clayton was right there beside me), and rolled you around ~ it was great I really felt your tummy, and sides, and chest. And I even tickled your sides ~ I saw your tummy move up and down as you breathed ~ we talked and teased ~ it was just wonderful. It was just like a normal day (except for the weird candle bit??). I love you and miss you so much, Morgan. Thank you for visiting me, baby ~ the door is ALWAYS open ~ XOXOXOX

Date:: September 26, 2006

Today

HI Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you had a great day, sweet baby! You have been on my mind all day ~ it almost felt like you were with me ~ except I didn't get to hear your sweet little voice talk, talk, talk to me. I love you so much, baby girl ~ XOXOXOXO

Date:: September 25, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan Saville! I hope you have had a great day, sweetie! Tonight Clayton and I were talking about you right before his bath, and he was telling me about all the people in our family ~ Daddy Saville, Mommy Saville, Zekie Saville, Clayton Saville, and Morgan Saville! He was trying to explain to me how we know people are in the same family ~ by the last name! Tonight I was reading an e-mail that tells you what kind of tree you are based on your birthday ~ Guess what?!? You AND your Daddy are both Walnut Trees! I’m not really surprised, you are both pretty stubborn (but Daddy’s a lot more stubborn than you!) I love you so much, Morgan ~ I hope and pray everyday that you know just how much. Big hugs, baby girl ~ big hugs!

Date:: September 24, 2006

Today

HI Morgan~Morgan! I hope you have had a great day, sweetie bird! Zekie and Clayton went to Sunday School this morning. I forgot to tell you something... Guess what! You know how Sissy and Aunt Debbie have license plates that say “BEAT SMA,” and “STOP SMA.” ~ Well, I just put our new tags on this past week and they say “FGHT SMA” I just want everyone to know about SMA. The next few months are going to be difficult for us ~ please help us through ~ little signs, anything. I love you and miss you so much, Mo-mo! XOXOXOXO

Date:: September 23, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan Saville! I hope you have had a great day, sweetie! Today we rode our bikes all the way to the park with Sissy. Clayton did really well ~ I wish that we could have gone that far when you would "ride your bike." I know that you would have been as excited as Clayton was today. Thank you for all that you do ~ and always did for us, sweetie bird! I love you and miss you so much!

Date:: September 21, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope you had a great day, sweetie! Zekie is not feeling very well tonight ~ I think he just has a cold, but I know that if you were here, I'd be worried to death about you catching it. I love you and miss you so very much, baby girl!! Big Hugs! XOXOXO

Date:: September 20, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope you have had a great day, sweetie! Today it was picture day at Zekie’s school. He HAS to get a haircut this weekend, but he really wanted his hair longer in the picture. This morning I was trying to comb his hair back ~ out of his face ~ and he was so mad at me. I know I was being gentle, but he still complained ~ I think he just didn’t want ME brushing his hair. It reminded me of YOU calling Daddy to brush your hair ~ Silly Girl! Today Clayton had swimming lessons. He is doing really well. When he first jumped in, I think that he must have remembered that when he left his lesson last time, he had actually swam across the pool ~ because he tried to swim across but he sank to the bottom. When he came up (he was fine) he looked over at me and laughed. You three are all so funny! I love you so much, Mo-mo ~ and we all miss you!

Date:: September 19, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope you have had a great day, sweetie bird! This year Clayton has homework (which for some very strange reason Zekie loves!). Clayton is not very happy about it, though. I KNOW that you would have loved homework. I just wish I had been able to find out... Today I walked up to your portrait in our hall and just laid my head next you ~ just like I did so many times when you were here, baby. It felt good, and terrible ~ I just miss you so much, Morgan! I love you, sweetie!

Date:: September 18, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope you have had a great day, sweetie! Today Clayton started his swimming lessons. I was thinking about the last time he did swimming lessons ~ I was pregnant with you! I remember when Clayton and I would get in the water... you started “swimming” too! Kicking ~ arms and legs moving everywhere! You just always loved the water. I love you sweetie, and I miss you so much! P.S. Yesterday was Malorie’s 4th birthday ~ please send her some of your special angel birthday hugs. I love you, baby girl!

Date:: September 17, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope you had a great day, sweetie bird! I'm still not quite back to myself, but this afternoon we did go over to Uncle Billys and Aunt Debbies. The water is COLD ~ but wouldn't you know that didn't stop you brothers (and Uncle Billy) from getting in! I miss you, Mo-mo. I love you so much! Big hugs!

Date:: September 16, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope you had a great day, sweetie! Thank you for helping Daddy get rid of that awful smell in his truck! You are so funny! Thank you for all that you do for us ~ we love you so much! Big Hugs!!

Date:: September 15, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope you had a good day! Claayton wanted to send you an e-mail that God could read to you, that is why we sent that letter from him. We love you and miss you, sweetie bird! Big Hugs!

Date:: September 15, 2006

Today

Morgan! It's Clayton ~ I love you and I miss you very much! And still Clayton misses you and Zekie and Mommy and Daddy and everyone in Virginia Beach ~ and Uncle Billy and Aunt Debbie ~ and Sissy and GrandDaddy ~ and Nana (Aunt Betty Anne). And Clayton is 5.

Date:: September 14, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope you have had a great day, sweetie! Thank you for watching over me today. My surgery went well, and once again the first thing I started talking about was YOU. I miss you so much ~ I wish I could just hold you. I love you, baby girl!! XOXOXOXO

Date:: September 13, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! Tonight Daddy and I went to Zekie's school open house ~ it was great, and he has a lot of great teachers again this year! I was thinking about all the other open houses we had been to... I was alway nervous about leaving you ~ even if it was with Sissy. Tonight Zekie and Clayton went out to dinner with Uncle Billy and Aunt Debbie. I love you and miss you so much! XOXOXO

Date:: September 12, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope you have had a great day, sweetie! Daddy and I were talking about you tonight. We were talking about how he could always get you to sleep ~ all he had to do was take a few deep breaths ~ like he was going to sleep ~ and you were drifting off. I remember how you would say “Daddy! Don’t take your glasses off!” because you knew that meant he was going to fall asleep, and you knew that if he was you were, too. We love you and miss you so much, baby! You are my best girl! XOXOXO

Date:: September 11, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope you have had a good day, sweetie! This morning Daddy and I went to wake Clayton up early this morning (because I was going to work), and guess what the first thing he said was?? “I miss Morgan.” I try to tell him that we will be with you very soon, and that for you it is only like the blink of an eye that we are apart ~ I hope that is the way it works. Zekie keeps trying to cheer us up by telling us that the Mayans believed that the world would end on December 23, 2012. He is so silly. We all love you and miss you, sweetie!

Date:: September 10, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope you have had a great day, sweetie! This morning Zekie and Clayton started Sunday school classes for the new year. They both seemed to have a good time today. This afternoon, I found your motorcycle guy ~ Amazing! I know I looked in those baskets last fall ~ I’ll bet that Clayton probably knows something about this! I started working again last week. It’s good for me to stay busy. But you know... I will always miss you and I love you so much! Big Hugs, baby girl! Big Hugs!

Date:: September 09, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope you have had a great day! This morning Clayton and Zekie were eating breakfast, and Clayton just stared off into the backyard. I asked him what was wrong, and he said he was just thinking about you. Zekie and I looked at each other, and knew exactly how he felt. We just all miss you so much ~ it’s hard. I really hope it’s not hard for you. I hope that you are happy, and know every second of every day just how much you are loved here on Earth. I love you so much, Mo-mo.

Date:: September 08, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope you have had a great day, sweetie bird! This morning, I went into our closet to get my clothes, and guess what?!?!? The lights to your little vanity were on. I know that they were off when I went to sleep last night. And I know that they were off when I went running this morning. I know that Daddy and Zekie would not have turned them on. And Clayton I was with from the moment he woke up until I walked into the closet. And then they were suddenly on. When I tried to turn them off, they did not go off ~ they started playing a little song instead. I hope that you had something to do with them being on this morning, sweetie ~ thank you so much for always trying to help me. I love you and miss you so much!! Big Hugs!!

Date:: September 07, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope you had a great day, sweetie! I wish that I could just hold you right now ~ I need one of your big hugs! Clayton had a great time at school day today ~ you are amazing! He now has five friends at school (out of a class of 14 ~ that’s not bad!). He is like Daddy though, and he can’t remember their names, so I have to keep reminding him. He is so funny! I love you so much, Mo-mo! And you know how much I miss you, baby.

Date:: September 06, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope you had a great day, sweet girl! Clayton started Kindergarten today ~ and I think it was pretty hard for him. You know, he just doesn’t adjust well to change. He told me he doesn’t have ANY friends, and he has a lot of hard work. Mo-mo, could you work some magic and put just one potential friend in his path tomorrow? I would really appreciate it, baby girl. Tonight, Zeke and I were playing a game before he went to sleep, and guess what happened?? You know our trash can lid? Well, it just started swinging out ~ of the blue. No one had touched it for at least five minutes before it started moving. I asked Zeke if he had noticed anything ~ heck, maybe I’m hallucinating ~ and he said, “You mean the extremely paranormal event that just occurred with the trash can lid?” I said, “Yes.” and he said, “Yep. I saw it, too.” Then we both looked over at the trash can, and said, “Thank you, Morgan.” You silly girl! I love your signs ~ I love you and I miss you so much! XOXOXOXO Big Hugs, baby girl!

Date:: September 05, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope you have had a great day, sweetie. Clayton is going to start Kindergarten (at our church) tomorrow, so today we went by to meet his teacher. When we walked in, Clayton said that he wanted to go to see Morgan's garden, so we did. It was only the second time I have been back ~ it's just hard for me ~ because I miss you so much! It was easier today, because it was Clayton's idea. Then we went to his classroom. It is in a different corridor this year, and... this hall has a Coke machine! Tonight when Clayton was about to go to sleep he told Daddy and me that the soda machine is for Kindergarteners, because they are the big kids! Then he sang a little song, "Soda is for Kindergarten!" I think that his reasoning comes from the fact that Zekie gets to eat lunch outside in the courtyard, now that he is an Eighth Grader (the highest grade in Middle School). He is so silly! We all love you and miss you so much, Mo-mo! Big hugs, baby girl!

Date:: September 04, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope you have had a great day today! Zekie wanted me to tell you that he loves you, but he also said he is pretty sure that you know that. Clayton wanted me to tell you that he misses you so much, and he even loves you, and he wants you to come and say the blessing with us. Hayden, your cousin (or second cousin) gave Clayton a "Mega Mask" for his birthday, and Clayton put it on today. It changes your voice ~ I think that you would have loved it! I love you and miss you so much, Mo-mo. Big Hugs!

Date:: September 03, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope you have had a great day, sweetie! This morning we went to Aunt Betty Anne’s (and Chris, Kelly and Hayden’s) for your great-grandmother’s 85th birthday. It was nice, and Grandma was happy. This afternoon, Daddy, Clayton, Zekie, and I started working on Clayton’s “dinosaur dig set.” We set the deck up for the dig, and Paleontologist Clayton had us all digging for fossils while he played around on his gym set. He was telling a new “Knock-Knock!” joke. Your favorite one was: Knock-knock! Who’s there? Banana. Banana who? Knock-knock! Over and over until you said: Knock-knock! Who’s there? Orange. Orange who? Orange Juice you glad I didn’t say Banana! It was so funny, you always said “Orange Juice!” Well, today Clayton said, “Knock-knock! Who’s there? Apple. Apple who? Knock-knock! Over and over until he said: Knock-knock! Who’s there? Lemonade! And then he just laughed his little head off ~ I didn’t understand it at first, and then I got it ~ and I laughed, too. I told Clayton that I bet his little sister was laughing her little head off just like he was ~ isn’t he funny? I love you so much, Mo-mo ~ and we all miss you so much!

Date:: September 02, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope you have had a great day, sweetie bird! I love you and miss you so much ~ you are on my mind all the time. I love you, baby girl.

Date:: September 01, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope you have had a great day, sweetie! The hurricane / tropical storm Ernesto brought a lot of wind and rain to us, but we never lost power. Yeah! They cancelled school for Zekie, and I am happy that they did, because his mouth is really hurting. He still can’t eat anything, but soft foods. Aunt Cathy was planning to leave this morning, but her flight was delayed until 2:00 this afternoon. We were able to spend a few more hours with her before she headed back home, so that was nice. Your little “spider hole” leaked until the rain stopped this afternoon. Thank you for giving me so many wonderful memories in such a short period of time, sweetie. I love you and miss you so very much, baby girl! Big Hugs!

Date:: August 31, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan Saville! I hope you have had a nice day, baby! It has been pretty yucky down here, but we needed the rain. Today Zekie had his braces put on. He also has something called a Herbst Device ~ which looks like some sort of torture treatment, but he’s not complaining (then again, he can’t exactly talk very well). We took a picture of him this morning (before he had his braces put on) next to your portrait, and we plan to take a picture of him next to it when he gets them off. The doctors think that Zekie will hit his growth spurt this year, so we want to be able to see how much he grows. I’ve been thinking about you all day, sweetie ~ I love you so much. I just want to be able to wrap my arms around you and hold you, baby girl. I miss you.

Date:: August 30, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope you have had a great day, sweetie! Clayton and I worked on building his Lego's today. It took us all afternoon to finish his Star Wars B-wing Fighter. I really should get around to watching that some day ~ now that all the boys ~ Daddy, Zekie, and Clayton ~ are into it! Today Clayton went with me to see my doctor for a check up. When the nurse came in, she said, "Oh! I had no idea you had a child in here with you. He is just perfect!" And Clayton (who had just jumped from the exam table to the chair) just smiled up at her with the biggest grin and said, "Thank you." Then she said, "He is just precious. Is he your only one?" Clayton piped up and said, "Oh no! She has my brother, Zekie, who is thirteen, and my baby sister, Morgan, who is in Heaven." He always tells everyone about you, sweetie! We all do! We love you so much! BIG HUGS!!

Date:: August 29, 2006

Today

HI Morgan~Morgan! I hope you have had a good day, sweetie! We had a ladybug visit us today, and Clayton and I were hoping that you sent it to us. We all miss you so much, but you are always in our thoughts. Tonight Clayton wanted me to wear my "fishie" sundress ~ just like yours. He has never asked me to wear a certain outfit before, so I thought it was strange. He said he liked it because you have one, too. I love you so much, Mo-mo.

Date:: August 28, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope you have had a great day, sweetie! Well, we are getting all ready for Clayton's birthday tomorrow. Do you remember the party ~ our "school" party ~ that you, Clayton and I had for you on your birthday last year? I have been thinking about that all day today. Today I made Clayton a "5 year old Prince" birthday crown. This afternoon, Clayton was dancing around singing about his birthday, and said "I can't wait until my birthday! We're going to have streamers, balloons, and confetti!" Of course, I had not even thought about that (because we aren't going to have a "party" until he goes back to school). So tonight, I ran out to get the streamers and balloons ~ and after Clayton went to sleep, Zekie and I decorated the FROG. I hope he will have a good day ~ I know that he would love to get a sign from you! I love you, sweet girl and we all miss you so much!

Date:: August 27, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a great day today, sweetie. This morning I took Clayton to church with me, and... he was PERFECT! Can you believe it? He held his hymnbook, "read" the words, and sang. Of course, he was singing (and luckily I was the only one who could hear him), "I don't know the words to this song, but I'm going to keep singing. La la la." We went to a reception for Reverend Will after the service. Clayton remembered that Reverend Will always came by to sing to you ~ here at home, and in the hospital. Do you remember that? I remember how happy you were to see him when we were transferred out of the PICU into the step down unit in the hospital last year. You were so chatty, and bright. Your eyes just danced. I love you so much, Mo-mo, and I miss you all the time.

Date:: August 26, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope you had a great day today, sweet girl! Clayton wanted to go to our school in the FROG as soon as he woke up this morning ~ I couldn’t believe it. It was just like you! After his schoolwork, we went to the Farmers Market with Aunt Cathy. Clayton wanted to see the baby chicks. Of course, once he saw them he wanted to hold them. I was afraid that he would love them (or squeeze) them to death ~ you know Clayton! This afternoon, Nana came by with Hayden ~ your cousin (or second cousin). He is very sweet, I wish you had been able to get to know him better, you would have just loved him. I love you so much, sweetie ~ and I miss you all the time!

Date:: August 25, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope you have had a great day today, sweetie! Thank you for all your help getting our ring back. I didn’t realize how much that ring means to me ~ not because of the ring, but because it’s your ring ~ you wore it on your finger. But it’s back safe and sound. Sissy and I were talking about you today, and how Sissy taught you to say, “Diamonds are a girl’s best friend.” Then I remembered one day ~ it was either after Valentine’s Day, or after Judy’s birthday ~ when Judy walked in you immediately noticed that she had a new sapphire ring. You said, “Judy, I like your ring.” and Judy laughed and said, “Morgan! I should have known you would noticed it.” I think that she immediately handed it over to you, and you did awesome with your “side sitting” that day. I love you so much, Morgan ~ thank you for all the wonderful memories you gave me just by being you.

Date:: August 24, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope you have had a great day, sweetie! Zekie went back to school today, and he had a great day. Clayton and I did his program ~ I was pretty surprised that he was actually excited about it. He does miss you, though. We have your chair and desk in the FROG, right beside Clayton’s, and that is exactly where he wants it. We put up the August calendar (I know it's pretty late in the month to do that). Today is your cousin Gracie's fifth birthday, and only five days til Clayton's. I hope she had a wonderful birthday. Last night, when I was falling to sleep I was thinking about your little toes ~ they were so tiny, and thin (compared to Clayton’s Fred Flintstone toes). I was thinking about stretching them, and kissing them. It felt like you were right here ~ it is so clear ~ the memory of your toes has not faded at all. I’m glad, because I always want to be close to you, close to the time when you were here on this Earth with us. I love you so much, sweetie!

Date:: August 23, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope you have had a great day, baby girl! Tonight we went out to dinner with Uncle Billy and Aunt Debbie. Zekie goes back to school tomorrow, so we thought he’d like to have a night out. Clayton doesn’t start back for a few more weeks, so I am going to start a program with him tomorrow. Hopefully he won’t miss Zekie too much. Daddy reminded him that he liked to work with you and me. I think (and hope) he will like it. I really loved working with you, Mo-mo. I was always so proud of everything you did, and you always tried so hard. I am so proud of you. I love you, sweetie, and I miss you so much!

Date:: August 22, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope you have had a great day, sweetie! This morning we had our first milk delivery to our house. Zekie is now drinking tons of milk (and I even drank some ~ it is so good). Clayton will not have anything to do with this “delivered milk.” He is so upset ~ he doesn’t like the box on the front porch, and he won’t even try the milk ~ and you know how much he loves his “milky.” He tried to explain to me that we can only drink milk that we buy from the grocery store ~ he likes milk from the store, not from real cows. Oh well, I think that he will like it once he tries it. I took Zekie and Clayton to get their hair cut today. Zekie has been growing his hair out since March, and it was long. The lady that cut Clayton’s hair used the clippers on him, and he said, “Mommy! She is shaving my face! I’m becoming a man!” He is so silly! I love you and miss you so much, Mo-mo!

Date:: August 21, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope you had a great day, sweetie! I woke up several times in the middle of the night last night thinking about you. I must've been dreaming about you. Tonight we were outside playing basketball, and Zekie pointed out a "vapor trail" that was white, but the jet looked pink ~ hot pink. He said it was a sign, and the next five shots I took I made. Zekie laughed and said, "Yes ~ that was definitely a good luck sign!" Thank you for that help ~ I needed it! I keeping thinking about Gracie ~ I feel so bad for her parents ~ I just know how they feel. I hope that Grace is learning how to send signs to them ~ please help her with that. I love you and miss you so much, Morgan!

Date:: August 20, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope you have had a great day sweet girl! Zekie is trying to get all the fun in that he can before he goes back to school on Thursday. Today we went over to Uncle Billy and Aunt Debbies. Zekie had a great time playing volleyball with them. Aunt Debbie and I talked about you ~ it was nice. We all love you and miss you so much, sweetie!

Date:: August 19, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope you had a great day, sweetie bird! I looked at the sky today today, and it was amazing ~ it looked like somebody had scribbled throughout the sky ~ I hope so! Your Aunt Cathy ~ Daddy's sister ~ is here. She is here to help Erin (her daughter ~ your cousin) and Mark with their new baby. Clayton has been talking all about babies being born ~ I guess with TWO new cousins it's only natural. Today he told me that you and he were supposed to be twins. He was looking at some pictures of you and him on your website, and he said, "Look! We look like twins!" You did ~ you really did. You are just such a big girl ~ so tall ~ with those long legs! I love you so much, Mo-mo. XOXOXO

Date:: August 18, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I'm back. I didn't want to let the day pass without telling you about some good news. This morning, Tory had her baby ~ so you have a new cousin ~ a little girl, named Emily. She is tiny ~ just 6 lbs. 4 oz. ~ smaller than Clayton was (he was 6 lbs. 4.5 oz.) ~ but she is healthy, and Sissy says just beautiful. And this afternoon, your cousin Erin had her baby! She had a little ~ well, BIG boy! He was 9 lbs. 8 oz. His name is Jonathan (I'm not sure how they are going to spell it). I guess he is your second cousin. Two new cousins in one day ~ amazing! Please keep an eye on them, sweetie! I love you!

Date:: August 18, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope today was a great day for you, sweetie bird! You have a new friend in Heaven today, Grace. I hope you will show her how to send signs to her parents. They love her, and are going to miss her so much ~ just like we love and miss you, baby girl. Grace always reminded me of you ~ especially when you were a baby. I hope they find a cure for SMA soon ~ no one should ever have to lose their precious children. I love you so much, Morgan. Big Hugs for my best girl!

Date:: August 17, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope you have had a great day, baby girl! Today I had Zekie try on his pants for school, and they were all 2 inches too short ~ he has grown a lot this summer (and I think it is all in his legs). So, we went out and bought him new shirts, pants, and a few more ties. Your brothers were so bored shopping, but I know that you would have loved it! I miss you all the time, sweetie bird, and I love you so much!

Date:: August 16, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope you have had a great day, sweetie! Today Zekie, Clayton, and I went to the Farmer's Market. We bought a seedless "Sugar Baby" watermelon, and some corn on the cob. You probably don't remember this, but when I was pregnant with you, watermelon was my favorite food! Then after you were here, YOU loved watermelon, too! I remember cutting up watermelons at the island, and you, Clayton, and Zekie would just sit there eating the watermelon as fast as I could cut it up. I love you so much, Morgan! Memories of when you were here with us are my favorites ~ I love you, baby!

Date:: August 15, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope you have had a good day, sweetie. Last week, when we were gone, Chase (Aunt Debbie and Uncle Billy's kitty cat) went to Heaven. I found Chase when I was college, but he was always Uncle Billy's cat. I hope that Chase is snuggling up to you, and not stealing your food. Now you have two pets with you Daisy, and Chase. Tonight we all went for a bike ride ~ Clayton is a nut! He tries to ride his bike and look up in the sky ~ nobody can do that! It reminded me of how you liked to "drive" your bike and look up at the sky. At least I always knew what you were looking at ~ the jets! I love you so much, Mo-mo. Big hugs!

Date:: August 14, 2006

Today

Dear Morgan~Morgan! I hope you've had a great day, sweetie! Tonight at dinner I was watching Zekie eat his chicken, and I remembered how we would watch you, "Chew! Chew! Chew! Like a pirahana!" Clayton always seemed to do something to distract Daddy and me, and then you'd swallow! I think you two had it all planned out. Zekie always thought it was so funny. I love you so much, Morgan, and I think about you all the time, but I think you know that. Big hugs, baby girl!

Date:: August 12, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope you have had a great day! We are home from our vacation. We missed you so much ~ there is such a big hole in our little family without you here. Clayton found a sea snail (which I have never seen before) and he named it "Jewelry." He thought that you would like that ~ I think that you would have liked the name "Jewelry," and I think that you would have liked the shell (it looked like a small conch shell that was off-white with specs of purple and brown), BUT I am pretty certain you would not have liked the snail inside. They are huge, and slimy! I know you know how much we all thought about you and talked about you ~ like we always do ~ we just miss you so much, Mo-mo. I love you sweetie bird!

Date:: August 04, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope you have had a great day, sweetie! Daddy is coming home tonight ~ and hopefully he will be able to stay for awhile this time. I am not going to be able to use my computer for the next week, but you know I always "write" to you and think about you. Uncle Billy's birthday is Sunday, please make sure he has a great day. Clayton has started to call him "Uncle Cheepee" instead of "Uncle Baby." Speaking of Clayton... He just asked me if I was sending you an e-mail, and I said, "Yes." He wanted me to tell you: "I love you and miss you so much! Bye Clayton... and Mommy... and Zekie... and Daddy." He is so silly! I guess you heard what he said last night (it really isn't appropiate for me to write about here) ~ I told Daddy, and he said, "Well, you know that Morgan was just laughing her head off when she heard that!" I imagine you were, sweetie! I love you, Morgan, and I miss you so much...

Date:: August 03, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a great day, sweetie. Zekie wanted me to tell you hi and he misses you. He also wanted me to tell you how smart Clayton is ~ Zekie was pretty smart when he was four years old also, and I know that you would have blown us away. Morgan, we all love you so much, sweetie ~ I hope you know just how much. And we miss you more everyday, sweet girl. XOXOXO

Date:: August 02, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan Saville! I hope that you have had a great day, sweetie. This afternoon, Zekie, Clayton, and I went to Costco (Daddy's favorite store) and I saw the cutest little Baby Einstein outfits. I almost walked over and looked at them. If you were here, you'd have one tonight. I remembered how much you liked your Baby Einstein videos ~ and the time that you wanted wanted to watch "Baby Bach Numbers." Do you remember that? You were sitting at your table, and you said to Clayton, "Baby Bach?" and he said, "Baby Bach Numbers?" and you said, "Yea!" Then I watched him crawl up the bookshelves, pull out the video, and pop it into the VCR. I was so proud of how were able to control your world ~ you are so smart. I love you so much, sweetie ~ and I miss you more each day.

Date:: August 01, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope you have had a good day, sweetie. It was so hot here today. We even had a smog alert ~ I don't think that I have ever heard of one here before (although, I read that we this was our second since mid July). In the paper it said that people with respiratory complications should avoid being outside today. The first thing I thought of was you. We would have done something fun inside, though. I love you so much, Morgan. Please look after Erinne. She has done really well since her surgery, but tonight Suzanne had to take her back to the hospital. She has had a fever, lower stats, high heart rate, and she is sleeping 20 hours a day. Thank you for watching out for her, sweetie. I love you and miss you so much, baby girl!

Date:: July 31, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope you had a great day! Today Clayton and I went to the beach. There wasn't a cloud in the sky ~ except for one pale pink one. I noticed it, but I didn't think that Clayton would. Then he did and he said, "Hey Mommy! Do you see that pink cloud? That's Morgan's cloud!" I said, "I think you are right, and I think that she is watching her silly brother." I hope you were, sweetie. I love you and miss you so much.

Date:: July 30, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a good day, sweetie. I miss you so much, baby girl ~ I know that you know I do, and I'm just sorry that I can't be stronger for you. I'm being selfish, and I'm sorry. I think about you all the time. Today I was going to go to Kroger, and I remembered that they had those "popcorn puffs" that you loved so much. So I ended up at a different grocery store instead. I just couldn't go in there. I love you so much, and I miss you more than I can tell you, sweetie. Big Hugs!

Date:: July 28, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope you have had a great day, sweetie! We are back from Nags Head, and Daddy is on his way home. Last night, Zekie, Clayton and I went go-cart riding. I think that you would have liked it. I was thinking abouthow much you liked that dragon roller coaster at Mt. Trashmore last summer ~ that big smile on you face that lit up my world. I love you and miss you so much, baby girl.

Date:: July 28, 2006

Today

July 27, 2006 ~ Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope you had a great day, sweetie. Today Zekie, Clayton, and I drove to Nags Head for a "mini-vacation." Daddy has been out of town for work so we decided we would go somewhere, too. I was driving, and I saw a sign that said, "REST AREA - 3 MILES." I had put that rest area out of my mind. But when I saw the sign, it took me right back to March of 2005 ~ when we pulled into that rest area to revive you. I miss you so much ~ oh Morgan, we would have done ANYTHING to keep you here. We weren't ready to let go ~ we still aren't. I love you so much, baby girl.

Date:: July 26, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope you had a great day, sweet girl! Tonight we went over to Uncle Billys (or "Uncle Baby") and Aunt Debbies. They have a new puppy named Callie ~ she is so cute ~ I think you would like her. Today Aunt Debbie e-mailed me a picture of her and I showed it to Zekie and Clayton. Clayton said, "She's kind of cute, and she looks a lot like MORGAN!" She was wearing a little pink collar, and had a barrette in her hair ~ so maybe the barrette threw him off?? I don't know ~ HE IS YOUR BROTHER! I miss you, baby girl ~ and I love you so much!

Date:: July 25, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope you have had a great day, sweetie bird! I love you so much! Some nights I just dream about you all night long ~ last night was one of those nights ~ I woke up exhausted. I think that a lot of my dreams are about trying to somehow "win" you back. I do whatever I need to do to get you back, and then I wake up ~ without you. Judy called today ~ we were out bike riding. She said that she had a dream about you, too. So did Sissy ~ Sissy told me that you just said, "Hold me. Hold me, Sissy." I can hear your voice saying that. I hope I always do. I love you and miss you so much, Morgan ~ Big hugs, baby girl!

Date:: July 25, 2006

Today

July 24, 2006 ~ Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope you have had a good day. I love you and miss you so much, Morgan. XOXOXO

Date:: July 25, 2006

Today

July 23, 2006 ~ Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope you have had a great day, sweetie. Tonight Clayton and Zekie were pretending that Daddy and I were the "waiter" and "waitress." I thought about how much you would have liked to play that with them. I could almost hear your voice calling me, "Waitress!" I love you so much, Mo-mo.

Date:: July 22, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope you have had a good day today, sweetie. It has been really hot here. Too hot for Clayton to go outside ~ and I am still being a little (over) protective, because he was so sick last week. I know that if you had been here, we still would have gone swimming. I really miss playing with you in the pool ~ "doing the bunny hop. Hop! Hop! Hop!" Well, I miss you everywhere. I love you so much, Mo-mo.

Date:: July 21, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope you have had a gfreat day, sweetie bird! Tonight we remembered Aunt Penny with a small private service. We will all miss her here, but I know that she is with you in Heaven. This has been a difficult year for our family ~ I just feel numb. I miss you so much sweet girl ~ I hope you know how much your mommy loves you.

Date:: July 21, 2006

Today

Morgan! I miss you so much! So does Mommy and Daddy and Zekie and Sissy and Aunt Debbie and everybody misses you, too. Love, Clayton

Date:: July 20, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan, baby! I hope that you had another great day, sweetie. I miss you so much ~ more each day. It is almost impossible for me to imagine living the rest of my life without you. It is so hard everyday ~ I just miss you so much ~ I wish that you were still here. I love you so much, baby girl.

Date:: July 19, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan, sweetie. I hope you have had a great day. You know what? I really like dreaming about you ~ I always feel like you are right there ~ I can touch you, hold you, talk to you. You are just so close. I miss you so much ~ I love you, baby girl.

Date:: July 18, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope you have had a great day, sweetie. Tonight, Daddy is trying to read Charlotte's Web to Clayton ~ do you remember when I read it to you last summer? Well tonight, Clayton kept telling us that he was not "interested" in hearing that book. Daddy changed the words to make it more interseting to Clayton. He said (or "read"), "Where is the dinosaur? Which one the T-Rex or the Allosaurus?" Clayton knew Daddy was teasing ~ just like he always did when you were there reading with them. We all miss you so much, Mo-mo. I love you, baby girl.

Date:: July 17, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope you are having a great day, baby doll. Clayton is still sick, and he has lost a lot of weight ~ he looks so thin. Tonight before he went to bed, he kissed a picture of you in the upstairs hallway. Then we talked about how much we love you and miss you. We do ~ so much. I love you, Mo-mo.

Date:: July 16, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope you had a great day, sweetie. Clayton is still not quite himself, but he was talking about you today. We had pepperoni bread when Zoey, Sheila and Rachel were here, and today Clayton asked if we had any left. I told him no, and then he said, "I think that invisible Morgan ate it all." You do love your pizza! I was thinkinga bout how you could eat two pieces of pizza at a time, and I think that one time you ate three pieces! I am so proud of you and all that you did ~ by yourself. I love you and miss you so much, Mo-mo.

Date:: July 15, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope you have had a great day, sweetie! Clayton is still not doing well. It has really had me nervous. When Dr. Stevens came in, she asked him how he was feeling, and he said, "I'm not complaining." He never does. I really hope he is better soon. Thank you for watching over him, and Erinne! She is doing really well ~ she is even getting up now ~ what a girl! Not even a week after major back surgery, and she is already sitting up. I know that you are keeping a close eye on her. Aunt Beth, and Aunt Jamie drove down from Michigan yesterday, and picked up Zoey, Sheila, and Rachel. We had a great week with them ~ I wish we lived closer so that we could get together with them more often. I miss you so very much, sweetie bird ~ I love you...

Date:: July 12, 2006

Today

HI Morgan~Morgan! I hope that your day has been great, sweetie bird! Clayton is still running a high fever, but he doesn't seem to have any other symptoms. I was so worried about him last night. Thank you for watching him. Tonight, Daddy took Zekie, Zoey, Sheila, and Rachel on a Dolphin Watch cruise. I hope they will see some dolphins. Clayton was very sad that he could not go with them, but I took him to get a Slurpee. Clayton wanted me to tell you that you are sooo, sooo cute. He was talking about you today at the doctors office, and how you and Zekie always cried when you get your shots. We played "I Spy," but I have to say you were much better at it than he is. Every time I go there I "see" you sitting on the steps to the exam table ~ with your hair in a pig tail, your "Hollywood Girl" t-shirt, and your black and hot pink leggings with the hearts and stars on them. I miss you and love you so much, baby girl.

Date:: July 12, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! Thank you for everything. Erinne is doing well, and Clayton is so much better. I was so scared last night. I knew you'd watch over him. I saw a lot of signs from you yesterday at the beach ~ and I love them ~ I just wish that instead of signs I had you. I miss you so much and I love you, sweet girl.

Date:: July 10, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope you have had a great day today, sweetie! Thank you so much for looking after Erinne. You are a great guardian angel! Your cousins Zoey, Sheila, and Rachel are here with us ~ I just wish you were here, too! You would love it! All these girls! I love you and miss you so much, sweetie bird!

Date:: July 09, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! We are back from Michigan. I tried to post letters to you while we were gone, but I had some problems. I will post them later this week, but I know that you already know what I have been thinking. Aunt Penny went to Heaven on the Fourth of July. I know that you are probably one of first people she wanted to see. I am glad that she is out of pain, but I am going to miss her here. Tomorrow is Erinne's surgery, please watch over her, and send lots of angel hugs and kisses to her, Suzanne, Kevin, and Liz. It is going to be a hard day ~ I wish I could be there with them. I love you and miss you so much, sweetie! XOXOXOXOXO

Date:: July 03, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope you are having a great day, sweetie bird! I love you so much! We are going to Michigan. I miss you so very much ~ I miss packing your things, getting you ready, everything. Oh, Morgan ~ it was just so perfect with you here, sweetie. I love you and miss you so much, baby girl!

Date:: July 02, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope you had a great day, sweetie! Tonight we were talking about how you just loved to drive away in your “bicycle.” I remembered telling Daddy that you left our cul-de-sac before Zekie did. Zekie remembered how upset you would get when I said we had to turn around. Sometimes, you would pretend that you were going to turn around, but then you would take off away from me! Other times you would just refuse to drive home ~ those were the days that I had to “drive” you home. You were always so funny! I love you, so much, Morgan. And I miss you more everyday, baby girl!

Date:: July 01, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope you had a good day, sweetie. Today I took Clayton and Zekie to Costco (Daddy’s favorite store). We were walking through the frozen foods, and Clayton said, “Mommy, do you want to fight SMA?” I said, “Yes. I do Clayton.” Then he asked me why. I told him that I didn’t want any other mommys, daddys, or brothers to have to lose a child they loved so much. Tonight, he was “helping” me make dinner ~ I think you were MUCH better at that ~ and he told me that he thought Uncle Billy’s and Aunt Debbie’s doggie, Daisy had SMA, because she went to Heaven, too. Please help him through this, Mo-mo. You and Clayton are so close, and so much alike ~ I know that you would know how to help him better than anyone, sweetie. I love you so much, baby girl, and I miss you forever.

Date:: June 30, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope you have had a great day, sweetie! Clayton has started playing the harmonica ~ and he’s actually pretty good. Tonight he played his songs for us, and then he tried to teach me how to play. I know he would have loved to teach you how to play, too. We love you and miss you so much, Mo-mo!

Date:: June 29, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope you have had a good day, sweetie bird! Today Zekie, Clayton and I went down to the Oceanfront to see MJ. This trip to Virginia Beach is her graduation present from her dad. MJ made the memorial web page for you ~ it was so thoughtful. It was nice to see her, Brenda, and Janice. We talked about you, about her sister Emma ~ it was just nice to be able to talk about you, and how funny you are. No tears ~ just happy memories. I love you so much. All my hugs and kisses to you baby girl!

Date:: June 28, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope you have had a great day! I was talking to my cousin about Aunt Debbie, and he reminded me that she took dance lessons. I hope that she has taught you how to dance. I know you’d would love it ~ especially with the way that you would always ask me to dance with you when you heard a song you liked. Those were my favorite times dancing ~ ever. I miss you so much, Mo-mo. Next week, we are going to Michigan to see Grandma and Grandpa, and all of your aunts and uncles and cousins! I am hoping that some of your cousins will come back to Virginia Beach with us for a few days. It will be nice to spend time with them. We are also going to see Suzanne and Erinne. Erinne has her scoliosis surgery next week. They could use some angel magic, too. Suzanne is going to take an unpaid leave of absence until Erinne is out of the woods. Thank you, sweetie ~ I know you know how much Suzanne taught us about how to take the best care of you. I love you so much, Mo-mo. Please give Aunt Debbie a big, BIG hug ~ hopefully, I might even feel it.

Date:: June 27, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope you have had a good day, baby girl! Today Zekie, Clayton and I were driving to the bank, and Clayton said, “Who misses Morgan?” He asks us that a lot ~ I think he just wants to know that it is okay to keep missing you. Of course, Zekie and I said, “I do!” Then Clayton asked me the hardest question. He said, “Why did God have to take Morgan to Heaven?” I told him that God must have a special job for you in Heaven, probably watching over your brothers. I really don’t know, though. I wish I did. All I do know is that you are the best little girl, and I loved each and every moment I was with you ~ we all did, sweetie. I love you so much, Morgan.

Date:: June 26, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope you have had a great day, sweetie! I miss you so much! Today I e-mailed some children’s book publishers about the book that Wendy-Lou wrote. Hopefully I will hear back from them soon. I would love to get this book published. It is just perfect, and shows what a bright outlook you had each and every day. I love you so much, Morgan ~ and I miss you more everyday.

Date:: June 25, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope you have had a great day, sweetie! I was going to tell you about something very special a few days ago, but I have been so sad about Aunt Debbie. I wanted to tell you about a wonderful person that you probably remember. Her name is Wendy-Lou. I know you met her last year at Hayden’s birthday party. She is very pretty and has an adorable little boy. Well, she has been working on something very special, and from the looks of it she has spent a lot of time working on it. It is a children sensory book. It is very colorful with a lot of different textures and shapes. The name of the book is, Morgan would say, “It’s a beautiful day!” It is about the changing seasons, and it is just gorgeous. Wendy-Lou sent it to me for me to keep or to publish with the proceeds going to FightSMA. This week I am going to find out about getting it published. It is just wonderful. It is amazing how many people have been touched by you, sweetie. I love you and miss you so much!

Date:: June 24, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan. I hope you have had a wonderful day, baby girl! I know that my Aunt Debbie is with you now. I imagine she had a big hug for you. I told her you had the best “big hugs!” She is going to love being with you, and getting to know you, and I think that you will really love her, too. Today wasn’t a really nice day here, but the clouds were gorgeous. I saw a cloud that looked like a little girl with her hair pulled back in a pony tail, and her arms open ~ it reminded me of you. I hope Aunt Debbie took you out to sail the clouds. I love you so much, Morgan and I miss you more each day, sweetie bird.

Date:: June 23, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope you are having a good day, sweetie. My Aunt Debbie is still here ~ hanging on. I think that she was waiting for her other son to get here. He is here now, and we just don't want her to suffer. Last night I did not know that my other other aunt (Aunt Penny) is also not doing well. Please give them both "Big Hugs" from your mommy when you see them. I love you and miss you so much, baby girl.

Date:: June 22, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan, my sweet baby girl. My Aunt Debbie is not doing well at all. Her body is starting to shut down. The hospice nurses believe that she is very close to the end. I feel so helpless. Morgan, she will be with you very soon. I went to see her this afternoon. She wanted to say something to me. She tried, and tried ~ but the words just couldn't come. Hughie, and her best friend thought that she wanted to tell me that she would take care of you in Heaven. She has always wanted a little girl, and I know that she will take wonderful care of you. I hope that you will teach her how to play tricks on us down here. Please send some comfort to Hughie, Shane, Eddie and all of Aunt Debbie's friends and family. I love you, sweetie ~ and I miss you so much. Thank you for being my little girl.

Date:: June 21, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope you have had a great day, sweet girl! I miss you so much! Daddy and I were talking about you ~ how tall you would be, how your feet would have touched the bottom of the pool this year, how long your hair would be, how many times Sissy would have been on me to get your bangs trimmed. We all miss you so much. Tonight I talked to my cousin, Hughie. He has been taking wonderful care of his mom (my Aunt Debbie). Unfortunately, she is not doing well, at all. I told Daddy that I was sad, and that Hughie is sad. Clayton overheard me (which is very strange, because 99% of the time when I am talking directly to him he doesn’t “hear” me). He asked me why I was sad. I told him it was because my aunt is very sick. He said that you don’t have to be sad when people are sick, because they can go to the doctors and get better. So, Daddy and I had to explain to him about cancer, and the kind of cancer that she has. We told him that she couldn’t get better. Then he wanted to know if she was going to die. He got very sad ~ his eyes welled up with tears, and his bottom lip curled downward, and he said, “I miss Morgan.” He sounded like he was sobbing when he said it, but he wasn’t crying(you know Clayton never cries). Morgan, please help Clayton through this. He has very deep feelings for you, just like you do for him. Help me and Daddy to help your brothers ~ Zeke seems okay, but I know this is the worst thing that has ever happened to him, also. And please keep an eye on both of my aunts. I love you and miss you so much, sweet girl!

Date:: June 20, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope you have had a great day, sweetie! Today Clayton swam across the pool by himself ~ without floaties, or his water wings that he always called his “muscles.” We really miss you in the pool. I love the way you would chase Clayton and Zekie around the pool trying to get him ~ they did, too. I was thinking today about how you would get so cold, and your lips would turn pale blue, then I would say, “Morgan, it’s time to get out of the pool.” Then you would say, “I’m not cold.” With your little chattering teeth ~ you are so adorable. I loved to hold you after you would get out ~ I love you, sweetie bird!

Date:: June 19, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope you had a great day, baby girl! I forgot to tell you yesterday that Clayton and I found a turtle in our backyard. It was a pretty big turtle ~ bigger than my hand. He (or she) was so cute when he came out of his shell. He only had three legs ~ one of his front legs was missing. Clayton named him, “Sharkey,” but he took off yesterday afternoon. It is amazing how many animals we have in our backyard. Do you remember the momma bunny and her babies that were here last summer? I remember almost every night when we would eat dinner they would hop right in front of our window to eat. I remember how much you liked to see them. I miss you sweet girl, and I love you so much.

Date:: June 18, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan Saville! I hope that you have had a great day, sweetie! Today is Father’s Day, and your Daddy missed you so much. I hope you know how much he loves you little girl ~ you just lit up his whole world. This morning Zekie wanted to get up early and serve Daddy breakfast in bed. Unfortunately, Daddy woke up at 6:00am, so Zekie and I ran downstairs to make breakfast before he got out of the shower. Then we gave him a hawaiian shirt, and some shorts. He held up the shirt, and Clayton noticed how blue Daddy’s eyes were. Then Clayton said, “I have blue eyes, too.” Of course, he doesn’t ~ he has the brownest eyes I have ever seen, and I told him so. Then Clayton looked at me, and said that my eyes were brown. Then he looked at Zeke and said his eyes were green. Then he said, “Are Morgan’s eyes green?” I said, “Yes, Clayton. They looked a lot like Zekies.” Then Daddy said, “Morgan’s eyes were green on the outside, but in the center, they had splashes of brown and gold.” I remembered that one day this past fall, Daddy just stared at your eyes for about a half an hour. He said you were looking at him like he had lost his mind. He will never forget exactly what color your eyes are. My cousin had her little girl (well 8 lbs. 11 oz. ~ not that little) last night. Thank you for watching over them. We love you so much sweetie, and we miss you so very much!

Date:: June 17, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope you have had a great day, sweet girl. I forgot to tell you that yesterday, Clayton was talking about you, and he said, “Morgan was perfect. Perfect at everything...except poking me!” Then I said to him, “Well, the way I remember it, she was pretty perfect at poking you, too.” Then he said, “I think that what you think is perfect, is not the same as what I think is perfect.” You loved to poke him ~ and it was so funny. I don’t think that it really made him at crazy, as he tried to make us believe, though. He loves to talk about you poking him. Please watch over my cousin, and her baby. She has been in labor all day today, and they decided to do a C-section this evening. I miss you baby girl ~ and I love you SO MUCH!!

Date:: June 16, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan! I hope you have had a great day, baby! This afternoon we went to Chuck E. Cheese. Your brothers had a lot of fun, but when we walked out to the car, the first thing we did was Purell our hands. We all felt germy ~ even Clayton. I thought about you, and I love thinking about you. I want you in all my thoughts, even if you can’t be here. I miss you so much, Morgan. My chest feels so heavy, sometimes I think my heart may just fall out. I love you so much. I have loved you since I was five years old ~ you were and are even more perfect than I could have ever imagined you. I know that I will be with you again ~ it just seems like an awful long time to wait. I love you sweet girl!

Date:: June 15, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a great day today, sweetie! Today Clayton and I went to the park. He and I went to the “truck,” and a butterfly flew over and sat down in the sand right beside us. Clayton said, “Look, Mommy! It’s a butterfly.” I said, “Yes, it is. It’s a pretty butterfly.” Then he said, “It reminds me of Morgan.” I think that is because of all the butterfly dresses, and shirts, and toenail stickers you have. I like it that he thinks about you so much. He always tells me he is happy because you are in his heart. I think I must have said something like that to him at some point. I know you are in his heart, and in mine, and everyones heart that you ever meet. Jennifer said that somebody was playing with their ceiling fan, again. Do you know anything about that? I hope so, and I know that they like having visits from you. I love you so much, Mo-mo ~ keep visiting us, sweetie bird ~ I miss you!

Date:: June 14, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope you have had a good day, baby girl. It was a yucky rainy day here, today. I took your brothers to the bookstore, and then they did some art projects. I miss doing projects with you ~ tie dyes shirts, finger painting, bead bracelets. They love to do them, too ~ it just feels like something is missing ~ YOU! We love you sweetie, and we think about you all the time.

Date:: June 13, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope you have had a great day, sweet girl! Thank you for making sure that everything went well with Sissy’s procedure today. Oh, Mo-mo... I can’t believe that you aren’t here. I know you don’t want me to be sad...but I am. Today was just a normal day ~ a day when we would have gone swimming, ate lunch on the deck, read books, taken a nap, gone swimming again, and then make dinner. It is the ordinary days that are now so hard. I miss you so much, and I love you forever.

Date:: June 12, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope you had a great day, baby. I miss you so much! Today I took Zekie and Clayton to the dentist ~ Dr. Scott. When we left, Zekie said, “Mom, when Morgan came to the dentist, which chair was she in?” I had not really thought about it and I said, “Well, Zeke, she was actually in the seat you were in.” They have about 10 seats, so it was kind of neat that you were both in the same one. He said that as soon as he sat down, he felt like it was the seat you were in. That was neat. I miss you so much. Please keep an eye on someone very special ~ I think you know who ~ over the next few days. I love you so much sweetie bird!

Date:: June 11, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope you have had a good day, baby girl! Today Clayton and I worked on cleaning out his closet ~ that was fun! I found a pair of your shorts in his drawers, and your yellow leggings in his closet. I already had seen the leggings, I just wasn’t ready to move them down the hall to your room ~ yet. I do that ~ I don’t know why. I have one of your bathing suits hanging in the laundry room ~ I always want something of yours to be hanging with the rest of our clothes ~ I can’t explain it. I’m sad ~ very sad. I miss you so much. It just hurts ~ that we can’t be with you, that you can’t be with us. I really thought that if we loved you enough, and took the best possible care of you ~ you would be with us forever. We all love and miss you so much, sweetie...

Date:: June 10, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope you are having a good day, baby! This morning I took Zekie and Clayton to see the movie “Cars.” This afternoon, I was thinking about the last new movie you saw ~ “Madagascar.” I was thinking about the part when the zoo animals get to Madagascar, and the “Party” animals started singing and dancing to “I like to move it, move it. I like to move it, move it!” I remember you singing that song and wiggling ~ moving ~ in your seat. You are the cutest, funniest little girl! I just love you so much ~ you are my perfect little girl. Mo-mo, please help Cassie send some signs to her family, especially Skylar. Also, Erinne had an injury at camp this past week, and her arm is fractured. She is going to have spinal surgery this summer, so if you can do anything to help that arm heal quickly... we’d appreciate it, sweet girl. Thank you for looking out for us here ~ although, I’d rather be looking out for YOU here, baby girl! I love you so much, Morgan ~ my sweet baby.

Date:: June 09, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan! I hope you have had a great day, sweetie! I love you! KISS! KISS! I just want to pick you up and hug you, squeeze you, kiss you, tickle you! Yesterday, when I was trimming the azaleas ~ I stopped when this bird came hopping through the bushes toward me, and almost hopped right onto my hedge clippers. It scared me ~ I thought the bird was going to attack me! Then I heard her call, “Cheeep!” “Cheeep!” and the answer ~ a very soft “cheep cheep cheep.” I thought, “OH NO! I have destroyed their home!” The mommy bird was frantic calling her babies. She was hoping, calling, hoping, calling ~ trying to find them (or so I thought). I could see the panic in the way she jumped around, and I recognized it ~ I had had that same feeling the day we drove you home from Nags Head last March. I had to help her find the babies ~ even though, I knew if I touched one, she would never return. Finally, I found them ~ they were all safe in their nest ~ less than two inches away from where I had been trimming the bush. I was just amazed that a little bird was able to stop me. And then it hit me, she was a mommy trying to protect her babies, and she did. I placed a branch over the nest ~ leaving room for the mommy bird to get in and out. She spent the rest of the afternoon, and all day today gathering food for those three babies ~ I don’t think they ever sleep ~ they just sit in that nest with their little mouths open waiting for her. You would have loved to watch them, they are right outside our dining room window, and they are so cute. I wish that you had been able to see baby birds when you were here. I know that you have probably seen some wonderful and amazing things in Heaven ~ I’d like to be with you to see your reaction ~ the thrill and wonder that could light up your eyes. I miss you sweetie ~ I miss you so much. And I love you more than ever.

Date:: June 08, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope you had a good day today, sweetie. Today was the first official day we were able to sleep in ~ of course, Clayton made sure we were all up by 7:00am. This afternoon, I cut back our azaleas. I thought about the last time I did it. Daddy didn’t want me to do it, he wanted to, but I really like to do it myself. So, he sat on the deck with you, with the phone in his hand ready to call 9-1-1. I kept looking at the deck today ~ remembering how you looked sitting in Daddy’s lap ~ the two of you just talking to each other about everything. Daddy just loved to tell you about planes, clouds, trees, flowers ~ and you always listened to everything he said. We all miss you so much ~ and we love you forever!

Date:: June 07, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope you are having a good day today, sweet girl. Today my cousin Hughie’s children came over. I know that you remember Hugh V, but you never met Haley. She is almost three months old now, and very sweet. We walked around the house. She saw a picture of you, and just stared at it. I told her that it was a picture of my little girl, Morgan. You are my little girl ~ you always will be. Thank you for watching over our family right now ~ I know you must be busy, but I hope you are happy. I hope that Daisy is chasing you around, licking your face, and that you are just laughing that wonderful laugh of yours. I love you and miss you so much.

Date:: June 06, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope you had a good day today, sweetie! Today was Zekie’s last day of 7th grade! To celebrate he and three of his friends went to Jillian’s at Waterside after school for lunch ~ in a LIMO! Zekie won the limo certificate at the SMArgaritaville auction. I took Clayton with us, and they all had a great time. At Jillian’s I ran around trying to keep up with Clayton, but I kept looking behind me ~ like there was something else I needed to do besides follow him around. I finally realized what it was ~ I wanted to check on you. You are always with me, and I know you always will be. I love you so very much, sometimes I’m not sure that I even realize just deeply I love you.

Date:: June 05, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you had a good day, sweet girl! I know that there is a new angel in heaven, and I hope that you will show her how to send her family signs that she is okay. Please help comfort the Stein family, who lost their little girl Amanda over the weekend. I saw Amanda’s mom in April at the FightSMA conference ~ she was so nice, she said that she was so sorry, and just did not know what to say. She was heartbroken for me ~ I could see it in her eyes, and now here I am heartbroken for her, and I really don’t know what to say either. I’m trying to stay happy for Daddy, Zekie, Clayton ~ and YOU! It is just so hard to see a silver lining when the rain won’t let up. I hope that tomorrow will be a better day, and please stay close to someone special. I love you and miss you so very much, baby girl ~ Mo-mo!

Date:: June 04, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope you had a good day, sweet girl. Clayton had a much better day today ~ thank you. I talked to Suzanne tonight after she took Erinne to camp. Please keep an eye on Erinne this week. I have had a difficult week, but I am very thankful that I have friends like Suzanne that I wouldn’t have if it weren’t for you ~ thank you, again. You made my life so much more wonderful than I ever dreamed it would be, baby. I just wanted you to be here with us ~ hmmm, I was going to say a whole lot longer, but the truth is ~ forever. I am sorry if there was anything that we could have done differently or better. We always wanted to do what was best for you. I know that you must know that, Mo-mo. You are my best girl, and I love you with all my heart forever.

Date:: June 03, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope you had a good day, baby girl! I hope that you threw a frisbee for Daisy, and maybe took her for a walk ~ or a run! I didn’t do much today ~ it was yucky and rainy here. Tonight I was thinking about all the things I miss about you ~ your feet ~ your legs ~ your voice ~ your little jokes. Oh Morgan ~ what am I going to do without you? I need you ~ we all need you. Please help Clayton feel better. This has been a hard week for him, and you always were and always will be his best friend. I love you and miss you so much, sweetie.

Date:: June 02, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a good day today, baby. Thank you for visiting me in my dreams last night ~ I think you must visit me a lot, but unfortunately I don’t remember all my dreams ~ I wish I did. Today Clayton and I were driving to pick up Zekie, and he said, “I miss Morgan! Everybody in this whole world misses Morgan. People in Michigan, the people in Florida, and that guy (he was pointing to a guy on a motorcycle) we all miss Morgan. Yes ~ yes. We do ~ we all miss you. I love you, Mo-mo.

Date:: June 01, 2006

Today

I forgot to tell you something, sweetie (even though, I’m sure you already know about this). Today I was working on the deck, and Clayton said to me, “Mommy, you know what?” and I said, “What?” He said, “Morgan came back to be alive...." (I just waited to see where this conversation was going ~ you never know) "And she went over to the stairs, and she pulled a nail out of the handrail...." (I still was not sure if this was his imagination or what) "Then she went away, and took the nail with her.” Of course, we all know that Clayton took that nail ~ but I’ll bet you must have thought it was pretty funny that he was going to try to blame you for it! I love you, Mo-mo

Date:: June 01, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope you have had a great day today, sweetie pie! Last night and this morning I was reviewing German (a language that I never even took) with Zekie for his German final today. And I learned a new word ~ “Morgen” ~ it means tomorrow in German. I also learned ~ Guten Morgen! ~ that means “Good Morning” in German. I wish I had known that when you were here, because I would have loved to have said that to you every morning! Zekie and Daddy decided that it was a good thing I didn’t know it then, because I would have made you crazy saying it. I like it though ~ and I’m going to keep saying it anyway. It reminds me of you ~ and how much you loved the mornings. I love you and miss you so much, baby girl.

Date:: May 31, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope you are having a good day, baby girl! Today when Clayton and I were driving to pick up Zekie from school, I heard the song “In My Daughter’s Eyes.” Of course, I started crying ~ when I heard the line, “I hope you’ll see how happy she made me...” You made me so happy ~ happier than I ever knew I could be. Well, Clayton said, “Mommy, are you sad?” and I said, “Yes, Clayton, I am sad.” He said, “Do you miss Morgan?” and I said, “Yes. Yes, honey I miss her very much.” He then told me, “You don’t have to miss Morgan, Mommy, because she is always right there in our heart.” “Does that make you happy?” I smiled and said it did make me happy. It does ~ I have told him that about you, too, and I am very glad that he is really listening to me, and he feels you in his heart, too. You know, Mo-mo ~ you ALWAYS knew when something was wrong with me, you were very in touch with my moods and feelings, and I think that is something that Clayton either learned from you (or something you somehow managed to give him). I love you and miss you so much, baby girl, and I would have done anything to keep you here with us ~ even just one more day.

Date:: May 30, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan ~ I hope that you have had a good day, and I really hope that you know each and everyday how much I love you and miss you. I hope that these letters reach your soul ~ wherever it may be right now. I know that when you were here, I told you all the time how much I love you, how special you are, and how much I need you. I remember asking ~ even begging, on some occasions ~ you to stay here with me, and you always said you would. I think that is why you send me so many signs, so that I know you are here ~ but I just want to hold you, to touch you ~ oh! I just miss you so much ~ I love you sweet girl! Big Hugs!

Date:: May 29, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope you have had a great day, sweetie! Well, what started off as a pretty bad morning turned into a beautiful day ~ thank you so much for teaching us how to be happy with what we have. Zekie, Clayton, and I spent the afternoon playing, “Hide and Go, Zeke!” (as Clayton calls it), Simon Says, Mother May I?, and football (I have no idea why Clayton loves this game). It was a gorgeous day here in Virginia Beach. A day that you would have wanted to spend out on the deck, swimming in the pool, and just being outside. And it would have been just perfect! We all miss you so much, sweetie. Life is so different without you here everyday ~ you are the piece of the puzzle that made our family complete. We love you so much!

Date:: May 27, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a good day today, sweetie. Today we took Clayton to his first “real movie” in a “real theater,” not the Cinema Café. We saw “Over the Hedge.” He told me that he thought his chair was trying to eat him, because the seats fold up automatically. When we were walking out of the theater, I could almost see Daddy pushing you in your stroller with us. You are always with us ~ we love you and miss you so much, baby girl!

Date:: May 26, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a good day, sweetie! Clayton graduated from preschool today! Luckily, Zeke had an early dismissal so he was able to be there for the ceremony. Zekie is so funny ~ he kept asking me, “Can you really call it a graduation when you move from four year old class to five year old class?” He seems to have forgotten that he did it, too. He is such a silly boy! Mo~mo, please keep an eye on some very special people that need a little guardian angel right now ~ my Aunt Debbie, Aunt Penny, Courtney and Carol’s little boy, Aaron. I love you so much sweetie, and I will miss you each day until I am with you again. XOXOXO

Date:: May 25, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope you have had a good day today, sweetie. I decided to plant some flowers today, now that SMArgaritaville is over. Of course, there were not a lot of flowers to choose from this late in the season. The best looking flowers were called “Mexican Heather.” They are small purple flowers, and they reminded me of you ~ I know that you would love them. I think about you every minute of every day. Every thing reminds me of you ~ and it makes me happy. I love you so much, Mo-mo. P.S. Please send lots of "no more ouchies" to a special little girl we know ~ Thank you, sweetie bird!

Date:: May 24, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a wonderful day today, sweetie. Thank you for all the sweet signs you send me, and for staying close and watching over us. You are my best girl ~ always! Now that SMArgaritaville is over, I am really going to have to try to keep myself busy. Tomorrow is field day at Clayton’s school. They are having a pizza party afterwards ~ shhhh ~ don’t tell Uncle Billy or Zekie! Then Friday is his last day of school. He is going to be graduating from four year old class, and then going to Kindergarten! I love you so much, Mo-mo! I wish that you were here with us, baby girl!

Date:: May 23, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope you have had a good day today, sweet girl. I hope that you are playing with Daisy a lot, too. She is a sweet doggie! Today I started to clean up (our dining room) from SMArgaritaville. I could really use my little helper ~ YOU! Do you have any idea how much I just love to be with you? It was so much fun, and I was so happy, Mo-mo. Happy to be with you, Clayton, Zekie and Daddy ~ it was just perfect. Today, Mr. Bear is off to Kansas to visit with Charlie and Lily. I love you and miss you so much!

Date:: May 22, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a good day today, sweetie bird! Do you remember Tonya (your “HIYA!” buddy) and her son, William? They came here for SMArgaritaville. Well, this morning I found out that they had to make a detour on their way back home ~ to the hospital. William has a virus, but they did release him from the hospital, and he seems to be better today. I hope that you can watch over your friends when they aren’t feeling well ~ just this past week, Erinne had something brewing, Malorie had a cold last week, and now William. I’m sure that you know that, now that SMArgaritaville is over, we have another project we are working on. Thank you so much for staying close to me, and helping me through the past five and a half months, and the three years before that. We would love (and could really use) your help with this one, sweet girl. I think about you all the time ~ every song reminds me of you, every place I go, everything I do. Morgan, I hope you know how much I love you and miss you, baby.

Date:: May 21, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope you have had a good day sweetie-pie! I’m sure that you know yesterday morning, Uncle Billy and Aunt Debbie suddenly lost their baby doggie, Daisy. She was the youngest, so this was a complete shock, for all of us ~ especially them. I hope that you and Daisy are playing and having a wonderful time together. She is really smart, so you can teach her a lot of neat tricks. Do you remember seeing Uncle Billy and Zekie playing, “BANG!” with her? I can’t wait to see all the new tricks you’re going to teach her. Last night was SMArgaritaville, and we raised over $21,000.00 for SMA treatment and research. Thank you sweetie, for being there with me ~ thank you for being the best little girl, and the sweetest little angel. I love you and miss you so much!

Date:: May 20, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you are having a great day today, sweetie. Today is the big day ~ SMAgaritaville! I hope it goes well, and that Mr. Bear enjoys the party, and the Oceanfront! This morning he went with me to get my hair cut, and his fur styled. Oh, how I wish you were going to be there tonight. Tonight I am going to try to be happy. I am happy ~ not as happy as I would be if you were here, but I feel like I am still fighting for you. I love you so much, baby girl.

Date:: May 19, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope you have had a great day today, sweetie! Mr. Bear and I went to get our nails (and his claws) done today, and we meet two of the nicest people. I told them all about you. The lady, Nadia, asked if you ever got into trouble. I told her about how you would poke Clayton, or sing to make him crazy! I even told her about the night that you were poking Clayton while Daddy was reading, and he told you that you were going to go to time-out. Do you remember the next morning, you told me all about it? You said, “Daddy was mad at me. He had angry eye brows.” When I told her that, she laughed, “Angry eye brows!” When they left, they each gave me a generous donation to Morgan's Buddies. There are some really wonderful people in this world, thank you for helping me meet so many of them. I love you and miss you so much, baby girl! XOXOXO

Date:: May 18, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope you have had a great day, baby! Well, Clayton did not have school today. It was parent-teacher conference day, so he went to Sissy’s this morning, while Daddy and I went to school. For some reason, Zekie did not want to take Mr. Bear to school with him today ~ teenagers! And Clayton did not want to take him to Sissy and Grand Daddy’s ~ I think he was afraid that Mr. Bear might get preferential treatment. When I picked Clayton up, we stayed for a little while and visited with Aunt Frances, and Uncle Tim. I am really missing you a lot right now. I wish you were going to be here with us ~ well, I wish you were here everyday. I love you, baby girl!

Date:: May 17, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a good day today, sweetie bird! We had a pretty busy morning today. First, we went to drop Zekie off at school. Clayton had to have Mr. Bear ride in his lap (in his booster seat ~ he even made me make sure that his arms and head were adjusted just right, so that Mr. Bear could see ~ that silly brother of yours). Today at school they were planning to celebrate Clayton’s birthday since his birthday is in the summer. So, after we dropped off Zekie, we went to Naas Bakery to pick up cupcakes. They are the ones I always ordered for Zekie’s school parties because they are so good, and they put little rings on top of each cupcake. I thought about how much you would have liked the smiley face rings we had on Clayton’s cupcakes. Clayton brought Mr. Bear into the bakery with us. He and Mr. Bear stood in front of the glass case where all of the cupcakes, cookies, cakes, and doughnuts are displayed staring at all the sweets. Then we were off to my doctors office for some blood work ~ Yuck! When they went to take the blood, Clayton covered his own eyes, and turned Mr. Bear around so that he (Mr. Bear) did not have to see it. Then we took Clayton to school. I explained what Mr. Bear was doing here in Virginia Beach, and that he was traveling around the globe visiting SMA families. She said they would be happy to have him stay with Clayton today. So, Mr. Bear went to school. I’d like to think that he was doing the same things that you would do if you were here ~ although, I don’t know if I would have wanted you to go to school (just yet ~ maybe later). I just wanted you to be healthy and happy. And you always have been ~ except for a few colds. I love you so much, sweetie ~ I miss your little kissable cheeks, that sweet little dimple. I love you so much, Mo-mo!

Date:: May 16, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a good day, baby girl! Tonight Aunt Debbie came over, and we sat down in the den, and GUESS WHAT?? The light behind her flickered. She said, “Did you see that?” I did, but didn’t want to say anything. Zekie said that he had noticed it and it did it again. Then, the lamp on the table next to the sofa started to flicker. Daddy came in, and unplugged the lamp, and plugged it back in ~ it still flickered! Aunt Debbie said she thinks I need to bid on the lamp from Mary Barnett’s. I think that somebody was playing with the lights... again! Silly girl! I hope you were, and I hope you had fun. Today Mr. Bear came to stay with us for a few days. I will tell you about all the things that he does this week. I hope that you went to a big birthday party today for Devon Stants, Laura’s son. Today is also Erinne’s birthday. I hope that she has had a great day. I love you and miss you, sweet girl!

Date:: May 15, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a great day, sweetie! Clayton is much better tonight, but Zekie called me from school today, and I think he has caught something. Tonight he had a fever. Hopefully, he will feel better in the morning. Today something funny happened, and I know that you would have been laughing your little head off if you had been with us (although, you probably were with us and laughing). I went to the pharmacy to drop off a prescription for Clayton. He kept telling me that he was too sick to leave the house (he wasn’t, though ~ the prescription wasn’t even for his cold, it was for his eczema), so I decided to just go through the drive-through. The pharmacist said he wanted to see if they had it. They did not, but they could order it for tomorrow. That was fine. Then he said, “I need to make sure he is in the computer.” Clayton said, “I don’t want to be in the computer. Let’s just drive-off.” He was so funny ~ I couldn’t help but laugh ~ of course, he was totally serious. Tonight when I told Daddy about it, Clayton did laugh, so at least he realizes how silly he was being. I know that you would have been laughing, too ~ or, you may have agreed with him, and said, “I don’t want to be in that computer either! Let’s go!” You are so funny ~ I miss your little laugh, your sweet voice, and funny comments! I love you and miss you so much, sweetie!

Date:: May 14, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope you have had a great day, sweetie! Clayton is still not feeling well, hopefully he will feel better by Tuesday (we think). Today I went to Sissy’s house and saw Aunt Frances and Uncle Tim. They are here this week, and will be at SMArgaritaville. It was nice to have Aunt Frances with me today ~ she understands how I feel, even when I don’t. And Zekie! He is the sweetest little (big) boy. He has that sense, that you have ~ he knows when I am upset, and he is right there by my side. He doesn’t have to say a word (although you always did) ~ he is just comforting to be around. You would always say, “Mommy, I think you need a big hug!” And you were always right! I needed so many of your big hugs ~ I still do, but don’t you worry, little girl ~ I’m going to collect them all when I get there! Oh, Morgan, I love you and miss you so much, baby girl! Big Hugs!

Date:: May 13, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan Saville! I hope you had a great day today, sweetie girl! Did you see the letter that Clayton wanted me to type to you? It was all his own words ~ he even doubled checked to make sure that I put the “Amen” in it. I’m not sure why ~ maybe he thinks that when you talk to people in Heaven you end with “Amen.” He is still very sick ~ even worse than a few days ago. I hope he feels better soon. I’m glad that you aren’t sick. I’m glad that you don’t have to wear your bi-pap 24 hours a day ~ do nebs and “shake & bake” every four hours. Although, if I had my choice between this way, and that way ~ I’d pick all the treatments ~ I just want you here. I know you are ~ I just miss your face, your voice, your smell, your kisses. I love you so much baby girl, and I miss you so much.

Date:: May 13, 2006

Today

Morgan, We love you so much, and you love us. Morgan, we want you to be safe. I you so much, and you love me so much. You are a sweetness. Amen. Love, Clayton

Date:: May 12, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope you had a good day, baby! Well, your small big brother is still coughing, but I think he is on the mend. Today we saw my cousin, Shane, and his two sons. Clayton had the best time with them. Do you remember the last time they were here, two years ago? Those three boys just ran and ran around the back yard, and you sat on the deck with us, watching them. The boys had long hair then, and your hair was ~ well, let’s just say... short (You were still kind of bald). I wish that Shane had had more time to get to know you ~ he would have just adored you. Zekie brought home a terrific Mother’s Day gift for me today ~ a 98 in German! Morgan, baby ~ I hope you know how much I love you, and I would do anything to have you back here with us, sweetie. I know that you are always here, and always trying to help us get through each day. I love you so much!

Date:: May 11, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope you have had a great day today, sweetie bird! Thank you for the sign today ~ the “Morgan” sign ~ it made me smile ~ no, it actually made me laugh. You are so good at sending me signs exactly when I need them, and I really did think that it was pretty funny that I saw a sign that said “Morgan.” I hope that means that you are helping us with everything. This morning Clayton woke up coughing his little head off ~ I took him to see Dr. Lisa, and thankfully it is just a cold. I hope he feels better tomorrow. He is so depressing to watch when he is sick, because he just lays there ~ he is so not Clayton. He is sweet like you though, he never complains, and when I ask him how he feels he always says he feels great ~ you two are always so positive! I love you and miss you so much, baby ~ I think about you every minute of everyday ~ you are my best girl! Big hugs, baby!

Date:: May 10, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a good day today, sweetie. Thank you for all of your help ~ getting me through everything. I am still working on SMArgaritaville ~ even Clayton is saying that we are having SMArgaritaville to help FightSMA. He is so funny ~ he really, really wants “The Hot Wheels Bucket.” He actually reminds me of YOU! I was talking to Aunt Debbie on the phone about the “H-O-T W-H-E-E-L-S Basket” (which I spelled out ~ I think), and I told her that I had to hide it because Clayton was after it. Clayton was on the computer, and he stood up and walked right into the dining room, and moved the boxes, and t-shirts that were “hiding” it. He held up the bucket, and said, “It’s May now!” (I told him that it could not be opened until May, and only if we won it in the auction.) Here I thought I had done such a great job hiding it, and he knew exactly where it was ~ it just seemed a lot like you! I remember once I “hid” the checkers game in the hall closet, and when Clayton asked where it was, YOU said, “It’s in the closet. In the hall.” I was amazed because you were in the den when I put it away! You are just too smart! I love you so much, sweet girl ~ and I think about you all the time, but I think you already know that.

Date:: May 09, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a good day today, sweetie! Today I caught up on all the laundry while Clayton was at school. I love and miss the way that you and Clayton played, “Name the Laundry Game!” Remember I would hold up someone’s clothes and you and Clayton would see who could guess whose clothes I was holding? You are so good at that game! I was always amazed at how well you knew our families clothes. Today when I was taking some clothes upstairs, I noticed something very neat in our front hall. I have noticed it before, but it didn’t really “hit” me until today. We have that little mirror across from the steps, and today when I was coming through the dining room, I realized that I can see your portrait in the little mirror before I get into the hall. Then, I turn in the hall, and there is your portrait, again! It is awesome ~ like a double dose of Mo-mo! I love it! I love you and miss you so much sweetie-pie! XOXOXO

Date:: May 08, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan Saville! I hope that you have had a great day today, sweetie! This morning I went to see the movie, “Hoot” with Zekie’s class. It was nice ~ even though he did not sit with me ~ he was happy with his friends. That’s okay ~ he knew I was there, and that’s all that really matters. I read part of the book to you this past fall ~ I wish that I had read you the entire book, but I really thought you were a little young for it. The message of the book, and the movie is such a good one. It shows teenagers how they can stand up for the things that they believe in, and how to do it the right way. At one point in the movie, one of the characters says, “We have to stand up for these owls, because they can’t stand up for themselves.” Zekie and I both thought of the children with SMA. Of course, I am your Mommy, and I was going to stand up for YOU anyway ~ that’s what mommy’s do. But now that you are not here, I feel like I still need to stand up for the babies and children with SMA. At the end of the movie, a song (by our favorite Jimmy Buffett ~ who is also in the movie ~ talk about getting ready for SMArgaritaville!) is played. It is called, “Good Guys Win,” I know that you would love the song ~ it is just the type of music you love. I think about you all the time, sweetie pie! I love you and miss you so very much!

Date:: May 07, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope you had a great day today, sweetie! Uncle Billy and Aunt Debbie are home from their vacation. Yeah! They came by this morning to bring some goodies over. The last time they went, they had a purse made with your name woven into it. I was looking at it the other day, and I found your comb and pop-up monkey puppet in it. It was perfect for you to drop things into. Zekie has been keeping me busy running him all over Tidewater with his busy social calendar ~ oh, to be 13 again! I am happy to do it, though. I just want him to be happy ~ and Clayton, and YOU! I love you all so very much! I don’t know how I got so lucky to have such great children. I love you and miss you every day, baby girl!

Date:: May 06, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a great day, sweetie pie! Today we had a meeting with some of the volunteers for SMArgaritaville. It was nice, we talked about you, and how I know you are always near me. You give me so much strength, just like you always have. I was telling them about how you didn’t really seem to mind not being able to walk, and you really didn’t care for your “bicycle” ~ your favorite mode of transportation was the “Mommy-Mobile!” I’m glad it was, because I got to hold you so much more than I would have if you were driving your “bicycle” around. I love you and miss you so much, sweetie bird! Please stay close to us, and help us successfully get through everything for the next few weeks. I love you!

Date:: May 05, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a great day today, baby girl! Daddy is home from California! We went to the airport to pick Daddy up, and Clayton and Zekie wanted to hide so that we could scare Daddy. Well, while we were sitting there with newspapers to hide us, he walked right by us, and we missed him. We are definitely not spy material. I know he is happy to be back here with us ~ it is so hard to be away. I love you and miss you so much, sweetie pie!

Date:: May 04, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a great day, sweetie! Today I saw Jim at The Wave ~ do you remember him? You were only about 15 months old the last time you saw him. I showed him a video of you, and he said, “Oh, those dimples!” I remembered that he had noticed your dimples when we first met him, also. You do have the greatest dimples! We talked about SMA, SMArgaritaville, and you. I love you and miss you so much, Morgan!

Date:: May 03, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a good day, baby! I had a great dream about you last night ~ I hope that it was you visiting me. I always love to watch you sleep ~ you are so beautiful, and peaceful. You are not going to believe this... today, Clayton was talking about you and he referred to you as “the sweetness” ~ instead of “the craziness” like he usually says. He just said, “I love Morgan. I miss Morgan. She is the sweetness.” I have to agree ~ you are the sweetness! You know, your cousin, Zoey is really missing you right now... do you think that you could send her a sign to let her know you love her, and you are okay? I know it would mean a lot to her, sweetie. I love you and miss you so much, baby girl!

Date:: May 02, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a great day, doll baby! For the past few days Clayton has been pretending that you are here. He talks to you, and he even told me that you tripped him. He really misses you ~ A LOT! Zekie misses you too ~ I am glad that he has his school work to keep his mind occupied. I know that this summer is going to be hard on all of us. We all miss you so much, Morgan. Today I was thinking about how soft your back is, about the way your strawberry was a little bumpy, the way your spine felt. I just want to hold you, baby girl. I love you so much!

Date:: May 01, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a good day today, baby! This morning Aunt Debbie and Uncle Billy went to Jamaica for a (much needed) vacation. I found a little beach bag at Ron Jon when we were down there for Aunt Debbie ~ and it reminded me of you ~ I have no idea why ~ it is orange (not purple) but it was a floral pattern. Maybe it reminded me of the orange flower that Kim McAdams (Skyler's mommy ~ www.planetsma.com) gave you in South Carolina a few years ago. Then this afternoon, Daddy went to California! Sissy thinks that we should stay with her, since we always (ALWAYS) lose power when Daddy leaves town. Stay close to Daddy, Mo-mo ~ I think that you will like California, and he always needs you nearby. I love you and miss you so much, sweetie bird!

Date:: April 30, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope you have had a great day today, sweetie! This afternoon we went to the dedication ceremony at Buff’s Garden (at 47th Street & the Oceanfront). Buff’s Garden is a beautiful walkway down to the ocean. The day after your birthday this past year, I went for the dedication of my uncle and Papa’s stones. Sissy ordered one for you too, sweetie pie ~ it is very nice, and very close to the beach. The garden is open to the public, and today I heard them say that some people have been married there, and even baptized there. I thought to myself Hmmm, maybe one of the boys will get married there. There was a wonderful singer, who sang “Angels Among Us,” and Mayor Myra shared her story and battle with breast cancer. Cancer is awful, Mo-mo. Some of the people that have cancer are sometimes in a lot of pain. I feel so bad for them, but then I also remember that you were never in pain, and I am grateful for that. I love you baby doll, and I miss you so much!

Date:: April 29, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan! I hope you have had a good day, sweetie. Today has been one of those days that I just miss you so much! I’m not sad ~ I just miss you. I miss taking you shopping, I miss doing art projects with you, I miss your conversations, I miss your big hugs! I just miss you! I think about you all the time, baby. I love you and miss you so much!! XOXOXO

Date:: April 28, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a great day today, sweetie! Today is Daddy’s birthday. Clayton and I were looking at cards and he found one that said, “To Daddy from your Little Angel.” It was a Valentine’s Day card ~ strange that we found it in the birthday card section, two months after Valentine’s Day. Zekie and Clayton signed Daddy’s card, and then we just had to sign your name, too. We all just want to keep you close to us. Tonight Zekie went to the “Hang Out” night at school. He had a great time, and we saw Mrs. M! She is coming back to school on Monday, and we are so excited ~ happy that they are home, and happy that everything went so well. I love you and miss you so much, doll baby.

Date:: April 27, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan! I hope you have had a great day, sweet girl! I am home, and I am happy to be home. It was an exciting week ~ lots of new research, grants, and things going on with SMA. I wanted to tell you that on my way to Washington on Tuesday ~ I took a wrong turn ~ I know ~ Surprise! Surprise! Well, I ended up at Fort Myers... It’s not really a big deal, as soon as I pulled up to the gate, I knew that I had made a mistake. I said to the guard, “Ooops! I made a wrong turn, could I just turn around?” He said, “Okay. Just pull in for a security check.” There were about six guards ~ at least one with a rifle (I really think there were two) ~ and I had to open all the doors, the trunk, the hood for them to search the van. There was one wonderful guard that went to the trunk, and he saw your picture, and he said to me, “Is that your daughter? She is beautiful.” I told him that yes, you are my daughter, and yes, you are beautiful. Then I told him about SMA, and how we lost you in December. He was so nice, and I could see in his eyes that he was truly sincere. You would have liked him. I am so thankful that you reach so many people ~ STILL! And I am super grateful that YOU have the ability (still) to turn something negative into something positive ~ only you!! I love you and miss you so much, baby girl!

Date:: April 26, 2006

Today

Hi Mo-mo! I hope that you had a great day today, baby. Today I went to some meetings in Washington, and Brian W. talked about how Mommy called him when you were in the hospital last year. He is so dedicated to the children with SMA, and I am so grateful that he was always there to help us. Tonight, we saw part of the Fighter Mom DVD. They had some video of you on it (I knew they would), and you know something?? You are just so sweet and beautiful. I grabbed onto Tonya's arm when I saw you as Daddy and I were getting you into your stander. So many of us love you so much, Morgan ~ even some people that you never met. I have a funny story to tell you but it is going to have to wait until tomorrow (my internet service is acting up). I love you and miss you so much sweetie, and I think about you every second of every day. Thank you for giving me the strength to get through each day without you. I love you!

Date:: April 25, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you had a great day today. Mommy is in Washington DC for the FightSMA conference. I saw William and his mom, Tonya ~ remember your, "Hi Yah!" buddy? I also saw Martha, Terri, Dr. Bach, Brian W., Cheryle, Iceis and Mary B. and a lot of other people. You know that when Zekie and I see those vapor trails ~ we always think about you, right? It is because one day we were talking about how you were like a shooting star ~ you were here and lit up the world, then gone ~ but, boy was it wonderful! Today I was driving, and I thought I saw a vapor trail, but it was a cloud ~ in a line ~ strange. I watched it, and it turned into a figure that looked like a girl with long, slender legs (does that sound like anyone you know?? Not Sissy!). Then, it looked like it had wings on the back of it. I smiled and thought it looked like an angel. I looked up again ~ just to make sure I wasn't imagining it, and that angel not only had wings, but a halo around it's head also. Thank you for your signs ~ I know that you stay close to me and give me strength. I love you and miss you so very much, sweetie girl!!

Date:: April 25, 2006

Today

Date:: April 24, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan! I hope that you have had a great day today, baby girl! Tomorrow I am going to Washington. I am really going to miss your brothers and Daddy while I am gone. I wish they could come with me. I just don’t like to be away from any of you. I love spending time with you all ~ even if we are just hanging out doing nothing ~ it has always been just wonderful to be with you all! Clayton does not want to ~ well, actually, he doesn’t want me to go ~ but (of course) Zekie does. I remember when I went up there in June of 2004. Daddy video recorded you talking to me ~ saying, “Mommy, I love you!” Sissy and I must have watched that a million times in the two days we were gone. It is still on my computer, but I have not been able to watch it ~ yet. I know that you will let me know when to watch it. I love you and miss you so much, sweetie!

Date:: April 23, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan! I hope you have had a good day, sweetie! This morning Zekie and I went to the grocery store, and out of the corner of my eye ~ I saw a little girl that was wearing an outfit exactly like one of yours! It was such a shock! I thought, “I should be dressing my Mo-mo in her outfit like that today.” I miss you ~ on days like today, I want to be sitting out on the deck with you, reading to you while you splash your feet in the water of your baby pool, and eat your snacks. I’m not sad today ~ I just miss you, baby girl. I know that you are here ~ I pick up on the signs you send, but I still want to hold you, and hug you, sweetie! I love you so much!

Date:: April 22, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I love you!!! and (of course) I hope that you have had a great day, baby! Your Aunt Debbie and I are so in sync with each other. Today we both went to Hilltop to do the exact same thing. Of course, she made it there first, and called me just as I was pulling into the parking lot. I don’t know how I would have made it through the past few months (or years, really) without her. She is like a sister, and a best friend all in one ~ and I know that Aunt Debbie loves you as much as if you were her own daughter ~ and I know that you have always known that, too. By the way, sweetie pie, Daddy was extremely appreciative that the lights kept flickering off in the FROG (it is amazing that we still have problems with that light, and your Daddy is an electrical engineer), while I was trying to show him the diamond necklace that Kane Marie Gallery donated for the auction. It is beautiful, and I know that my little princess girl would have loved it! What is it that your Sissy taught you to say last year?? Oh yeah... “Diamonds are a girls best friend!” I love you and miss you so much, sweetie!

Date:: April 21, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a great day today. I forgot to tell you this yesterday, but I wanted to tell you that I think Clayton has been invaded. He has been so, SO sweet. Yesterday morning I asked him what he wanted for breakfast ~ oatmeal or cereal? You will not believe what he said! “I want something as sweet as you, Mommy.” So, I said , “Cereal?” and he said, “I was thinking chocolate chips!” What a little nut ~ thinking that I was going to just hand over chocolate chips for a little flattery! I always think of you when he says that kind of sweet stuff, because that is how you always (well ~ usually) are. This morning Clayton had a field trip to Botanical Gardens (or Mechanical Gardens as he says it). I went on the trip, also ~ mostly because he just wanted me to go. I have a hard time talking to other parents still. I didn’t want anyone to ask me any questions about my other children, because I don’t think that I want to explain that I have three children ~ two great boys, and one beautiful daughter that I can not hold, touch, or hug anymore. I stayed close to Clayton, and watched him interact with his friends. Clayton really tried to “herd” one of his friends around ~ nudging (very slightly ~ the other boy did not even notice) him this way and that way ~ I thought about you the entire time. I was almost grateful that you did not walk because I think he would have made you crazy if you had been trying to walking beside him, and he was trying to guide you to where he wanted you to go. I think that you both have way too much of your Daddy in you to be “guided” anywhere that you don’t want to be ~ okay! okay! maybe too much Mommy, too. I love you so much, and I miss you every day, sweetie! I know that we will be together again.

Date:: April 20, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan! I hope you have had a great day, sweetie! Today started out rather nice. I enjoyed watching those crazy birds outside this morning, and thought about how much you would have liked watching them. It just occurred to me that our breakfast time always lasted a lot longer when we were watching those silly birdies! Well, this nice day did not last long. I have not told you this yet, but you probably already know that my Aunt Debbie (NOT your AUNT DEBBIE ~ AUNT DEBBIE) was diagnosed with an inoperable cancer earlier this week. I did not want to tell you, because I was hoping that they might be wrong. Today, Sissy took my cousin Hughie to see his mom, and they were in an accident. They are okay, but I know they had a special little angel watching over them ~ it could have been so much worse ~ Thank you so much, my precious little angel! My aunt looked just wonderful when I saw her today ~ it is so hard to believe that she is so sick. She has a great spirit and a wonderful attitude about all of this. But, I know that a lot of it must be for her boys ~ she is just... just... being a great mom, comforting her boys even though she is the one in so much physical pain. Please stay close to her ~ she is an amazing woman. I love you and miss you so much, baby girl.

Date:: April 19, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope you have had a great day today, sweetie bird! Ummm... Morgan... do you know anything about the noise I heard in your room this morning? I was walking upstairs, and I heard something that sounded like there was a thumping coming from your room. I slowly walked in, but nothing was there. I have had a lot of dreams about you, but they have not been the kind that I wake up from and remember every detail. They are vague ~ and they are normal. Just normal ~ just like everything was before December. I love you and miss you so very much, baby girl! Always!

Date:: April 18, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a great day, sweetie! Next week I am going to Washington DC for the FightSMA research conference. I know that we will hear a lot of exciting news and breakthroughs ~ not that it really helps us personally anymore. I just want SMA to be cured. I don’t want parents 10 years from now to go through what Daddy and I are going through now. And it is not just the parents ~ it’s brothers, sisters, aunts, uncles, grandparents, cousins, friends ~ all affected by SMA. You know, Mo-mo, your cousins, Rachel, Sheila, and Zoey want to raise money for research. They are such sweet girls, and they just love you so much ~ I wish that you had been able to see them more. You would have had a ball with them! I love you and miss you so much, Morgan! Please stay close to the people that need a special guardian angel right now ~ there are a lot of them ~ and I know that there must be a very important reason that God needed you in Heaven, sweetie! I love you so much!

Date:: April 17, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan-Morgan! I hope that you have had a good day, my baby. There is a new angel in Heaven today ~ Baylee earned her wings this morning. She is a doll ( http://www.fsma.org/photoalbum/family/peterman.shtml ) I know how hard this is for her parents. Your brothers did not have school today, but it was rainy and dreary here in Virginia Beach. So I took Zekie and Clayton to ToysRUs ~ I must have been feeling sorry for them. They are sweet though ~ they kept looking at things that you would have wanted. We laughed in the aisle where they had the girls dress up clothes. I remember when I bought you some of those dress up clothes thinking that you were going to have so much fun dressing up in them. BUT, NO! You could not stand them ~ they had lace and sequins and apparently they were just very uncomfortable because you said, “Take this off! Take this off me!” I was so disappointed, because I knew that you were just going to love the dress up clothes ~ oh well, I am glad you always had your own opinions. I love you and miss you so much, sweet girl!!

Date:: April 16, 2006

Today

Hi Baby~Girl! We need some help from you. There is a little girl named Baylee in Alabama that choked Friday. She has been intubed and unresponsive since. If you keep an eye on her, sweetie ~ I would really appreciate it ~ and I know her parents would, too. I love you, baby!

Date:: April 16, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan! I hope that you have had a wonderful Easter today, sweetie-bird! Last night I woke up three times in the middle of the night thinking about you ~ I had two dreams and everything was perfect ~ just like life before December 3rd 2005. One time I woke up and I was calling you, “More-cake!” I had forgotten that I called you that ~ my sweet little More-cake! I love you so much! Then today Clayton was talking about you and he referred to you as “Baby-cake!” ~ I have not heard him say that in over a year. I love you and miss you so very much.

Date:: April 15, 2006

Today

Happy day before Easter, Morgan! I miss you so much ~ everyday is hard, but holidays are really bad ~ I can’t stand to go holiday shopping even for the boys ~ it is so hard. I see the little girl toys and outfits ~ things that you would like, and I just get ill. Today I thought I was going to just fall apart in a store ~ maybe run out screaming, maybe just start sobbing ~ I didn’t though ~ I just held it all together ~ and to be perfectly honest, I am getting sick of holding it together. I miss you. I want to be with you. My life was perfect when I had you and Daddy and Zekie and Clayton here with me. Thank you for giving me three years of wonderful. I don’t know if I can make it through this though, sweetie. I miss you so much ~ not just my baby, or my girl, but YOU! You, Morgan, the little girl that made me be a better person. The little girl that taught me how to love someone unconditionally. Oh Morgan ~ I love you so much.

Date:: April 14, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a great day today! Today Zekie and I went out to ask for donations to SMArgaritaville. Beach Accents donated the cutest little Bearington Bear called “Felicia & Flutterwings.” It is so sweet ~ the little bear has a dragonfly beside her ~ I think that you would have really liked it. One of the owners of the store said that she wanted to pick out just the right thing ~ for you ~ for SMA research. She was so nice. There are some really nice people in the world that I have met because of you and because of SMA. I love you so much, Morgan, and I miss you more everyday. XOXOXO

Date:: April 13, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a great day today, sweetie. Zekie has been helping me fold the inserts for the invitations to SMArgaritaville with your picture on it, and he is so careful with each one. He is so sweet ~ I feel so bad for him, because he misses you so much ~ Clayton, too. Clayton just talks about you all the time. Tonight I was reading to him, and Daddy came in and Clayton said to Daddy, “Daddy, I need to tell you something. I love you and Mommy.” Daddy said to him, “I love you two, too!” Then Clayton said, “You mean us four. One ~ Clayton, Two ~ Mommy, Three ~ Zekie, and Four ~ Morgan!” and Daddy said, “You are right, Clayton. I love you four.” We all miss you and love you so much, Morgan ~ I would do anything to bring you back here with us ~ I just miss you so much...

Date:: April 12, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a great day, sweetie. I miss you so much Morgan. Sometimes, I just don’t know how I am going to go on. I don’t know what I would do without Daddy, Zekie and Clayton. They are so wonderful. I feel very lucky to have them here, and to have shared you with them. Clayton really seems to know when I need his “sweetness.” Today he asked me for some milk “Can I have some milk sweet mama?” (this is his new way to ask me for milk), and I was trying to remember how much milk he had already had so I did not immediately answer him. Then he looked at me and said, “You’re cute!” He is so funny ~ he is already trying to use flattery to get what he wants ~ I’m glad he does that kind of stuff, because I really need to laugh sometimes. Zekie is just amazing! He is so smart, and so sweet ~ I am so proud of him. Today his report card came in, and he made Honors again this grading period. He is just wonderful, and I am so thankful that I have the greatest children I could ever have ~ you are all so different, and so perfect ~ you all have made my life so much better. I love you sweetie girl, and I miss you so much!

Date:: April 11, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a great day today, sweetie! This morning, I woke Zekie up at 6:39 ~ 3 minutes before he “turned” 13! Wow! It’s hard to believe that your brother is a teenager! Now that he is 13, he can download songs from iTunes. He found out today that he could also download videos. One of the videos available was a Dora video. He said to me, “Now, Mom, who has an iPod that would download Dora?” At first, I was thinking the same thing, but then I said to him, “You would for Morgan,” and he got the biggest smile on his face and said, “Yeah I would have. Now I get it.” Thank you for that smile I saw on his face Morgan ~ it was so real, so deep ~ I don’t see a lot of those on him anymore, but I think that I always will when he thinks about you. I know that you know how much he loves you, but I’m not sure if you know how much he likes you ~ he just likes everything about you ~ you are such a neat little girl. We all miss you and love you so much, sweetie bird!

Date:: April 10, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a great day today, sweetie! I really miss you, baby girl! What am I going to do?? Tonight Clayton made a beautiful masterpiece ~ he took a piece of paper and on one side he put “boy” stickers ~ footballs, soccer balls, basketballs, and rectangles (when they became “boy” things, I am not sure). On the other side he put “girl” stickers ~ castles, mirrors, princess crowns, and spirals (again, I’m not sure when spirals became “girl” things). One side was for the girls ~ you and me, and the other was for the boys and "mens" ~ Clayton, Zekie and Daddy. He wants to hang this piece so that we can see both sides of it ~ I guess that will be our big project for tomorrow. I loved being “the girls” with you, baby. I miss my best girl so very much, Mo-mo. I love you, baby girl!

Date:: April 09, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a great day today, my love. Last night Zekie had some boys from school sleep over ~ although I don’t think that they did much sleeping (or any at all)! Clayton was so funny ~ he was trying to fit in with the big boys ~ he wanted to play video games (that are too hard for him) with them, and then he started bragging about his best friend ~ Kevin (Erinne’s older brother). Clayton has decided that Kevin is his best friend, even though they live 700 miles apart, and have only met three times. Clayton kept saying, “My best friend, Kevin is 14 years old.” “My best friend, Kevin plays hockey.” “My best friend, Kevin is really, really tall.” I know that if you were here, you would have been right there with Clayton trying to fit in ~ at least for a little while. I remember last spring when Zekie was working on a science project with Jacob ~ Zekie kept trying to get his sweet adorable little sister to say he was cooler than Jacob ~ do you remember that? He would say, “Morgan, who’s cooler Zekie or Jacob?” and you would bat your little eyes at him, and give him that gorgeous smile, and say, “JACOB!” Then poor old Zekie would have a fit! And you just laughed! You are so funny ~ it makes me smile just to think about that. Thank you for giving me so many great memories, Mo-mo ~ I really needed one today, baby girl! I love you and miss you so very, very much!

Date:: April 08, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a great day today, sweetie pie! Today we celebrated Zekie’s 13th birthday! I can’t believe he is going to be a teenager in just a few days! He invited some of his friends from school to sleep over, and go see Ice Age 2. Uncle Billy and Aunt Debbie went to the movie with us, and then came over to sing, “Happy Birthday!” to Zekie. Before we saw the movie, I was thinking about how much you would have enjoyed it. Now that we have seen it, I am not sure that you would have liked it as much as you did the first Ice Age (and for some reason that makes me feel better). It was much scarier than the first one was ~ even Clayton was a little nervous. When the movie first started, Clayton whispered to me, “Let’s get out of here.” I know if Clayton was scared, you would have been too. Please know that we all miss you so much ~ and that even when we have happy moments in our lives ~ they just aren’t the same as they would be if you were here with us, baby girl. I love so very, very much, my sweet baby.

Date:: April 07, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan, sweetie bird! I hope that you have had a wonderful day today! You know that I am dealing with a pretty funny situation right now, don’t you? A few years ago, I think that I would have lost my patience with it, but now I just think it is so funny! Today I started laughing out loud, because I think that you have a hand in this, and I think that you are laughing your little head off every time it happens! I love you so much, I love you funny little personality, your sweet nature ~ you are just the most perfect daughter I could ever have! I am so proud of you, and I am so thankful that I am your mommy. Thank you so much, baby doll! I love you and miss you!

Date:: April 06, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a wonderful day today, sweetie! Today our neighbor came over and she mentioned how “you were wise beyond your years.” She even remembered that I told her about the day we were at the park with Aunt Debbie, and you said, “Mommy, you look like you need a big hug.” It really meant a lot to me that she remembered that. You and I have such a special relationship, Mo-mo. You were always so connected to me. I think that you still are. I will miss you everyday until I am with you again, but I know I will be with you again. Thank you for sending signs, and for watching over all of us ~ all the people that you knew and love, and all the people that knew and love you. You truly were an angel on Earth, and I know that you are very special angel in Heaven. We have some good friends that had some bad news today, please help guide them to a better place ~ they are wonderful people, and deserve only the best. Hopefully this is a blessing in disguise for them. I love you my sweetest little angel girl! XOXOXO

Date:: April 05, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a great day today! I know that you have been busy! Aunt Penny is doing well after her treatment yesterday. Sissy seems to be feeling much better, although I wish she would just rest and recover. And I am on the mend, too! This morning after I dropped Clayton off at school, I sent out a little package to our friend Malorie in Michigan. On my way home, I drove by the church. I must drive by the garden at the church at least four times a day. And I always look over there, now. Well, today the sun was just shining down into the garden ~ it was beautiful, you could see the sun’s rays just lighting up the entire garden area. And in there, I saw Will (our minister) sitting on a bench. He was probably working on his sermon for Sunday. Do you remember how he came to the hospital almost every day when you were there? He sang, prayed, and always encouraged us. He actually baptized you in our living room, because I was afraid you would get sick if I took you to church. He came by often, and always had a song, and a prayer for you. I remember last Valentine’s Day, he even sent “Valentine Carolers” to our house because he thought you would like it ~ and you did ~ you just loved all the children that came to sing and all the Valentines they brought you. I have had a difficult time going back to church since December, but I think it is time. I love you so much, baby girl, and I miss you terribly.

Date:: April 04, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope you have had a great day, baby girl! Thank you so much for watching over Sissy today. Sissy is home from the hospital ~ she sounds groggy, but okay. And thank you for watching over me. Daddy took me to the emergency room around 2:30 this morning ~ my tummy was hurting. I thought it might be my appendix (with the way things have been going lately ~ it wouldn’t have surprised me).They did blood work and took x-rays, and thankfully it was not my appendix. They think that it is just from the surgery I had a few weeks ago. Clayton was so sweet last night ~ he told me knock-knock jokes all the way to the hospital. It reminded me of something that you would have done. At the hospital, they gave me some IV pain medication, and I was very loopy when the doctor came in. He asked me how long I had been in pain, and I said, “Since December.” I don’t know why I said that, but the only thing that has hurt me since December is not seeing your beautiful shining face each morning, afternoon, and night. Please try to keep an eye on our Aunt Penny in Florida. She went into the hospital today, and could use a sweet little angel on her side. I love you and miss you so very much, my precious baby girl!

Date:: April 03, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan, sweetie! I hope you have had a great day today baby girl! I love you so much. Thank you for watching out for Sissy today ~ but she is not out of the woods yet ~ I’m not sure that I will feel okay until I actually talk to her. Her procedure was scheduled to begin at 1:30 (but it was delayed until 3:30). Grand Daddy finally talked to the doctor around 9:30 tonight, so it has been a long day for him and Sissy. Today was very difficult for me ~ first because it has been four months since December 3, 2005 ~ and because I just don’t trust my instincts about things anymore. I thought that you would be fine ~ but you weren’t... I miss you so very much, sweetie ~ It just hurts so much. Please always know how very, very much I love you my baby girl!

Date:: April 02, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a great day today. Today Zekie, Clayton, and I worked out in the front yard while Daddy cleaned the garage. He started to clean off some of your equipment. He found the Prince magnet, and the lego book you liked to play with. I think he just couldn’t go on after that ~ he misses you so very much. Your Daddy just loves his little girl so much, and he is heartbroken that you are not here. We all are ~ just some days hit us harder than others. Sissy is going back into the hospital tomorrow ~ please, keep an eye on her ~ I really need her. I love you and miss you so very much, Mo-mo.

Date:: April 01, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope you had a great day today, sweetie ~ and I hope that you were able to play lots of April Fools tricks! Last year you said, “April Fools!” almost the entire month of April! I think that was because Zekie’s April Fools trick on me was so memorable! DO you remember what he did? It was awful! I had cleaned the kitchen floor that day (amazingly enough ~ I cleaned the floor again today ~ what was I thinking?), and he put a rubber band on the kitchen sink sprayer hose. When I turned on the water, it sprayed me, and the rest of the kitchen. You were in your high chair by the table, but YOU stayed dry! When I screamed, you screamed, too! I can almost hear you, “Aghhhhhh!” Then, of course, once you and Zekie realized I was SOAKED ~ you both laughed your crazy little heads off! It was actually a pretty good trick, although I was not very happy about the floor being wet. He has not done anything to me today, but I am being very careful ~ I know he must have something terrible planned. I miss you sweetie, I wish you were here to play April Fool tricks... I love you so, so much!!

Date:: March 31, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope you have had a great day today, baby doll! Today, Zekie was inducted into the National Junior Honor Society at Norfolk Collegiate. I was so proud of him, and I know that you would have been, too! We (Daddy, Sissy, Clayton, and I) went to the ceremony. It was about an hour and amazingly enough Clayton was perfect (well, very close to perfect) throughout the entire ceremony. I would have taken you with us, too. It is really quite an honor for Zeke. Even though we were celebrating Zekie’s hard work and good grades, I think that we all missed not being able to share it with you. We all love you so very much, sweetie pie! And we miss you more each day...

Date:: March 30, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan! I hope you have had a great day, baby girl! I have sent out all of the butterflies! Yeah! It turned out to be a nice little FUNdraiser. I think that you would like the butterfly night lights ~ you were always so funny making sure that your Barbie night light was on every night! Tonight I went to the FROG (Finished Room Over the Garage), and I was trying to organize some things up in our little “classroom.” I went through your desk, and I found your red eraser ~ I could just see your sweet little hand holding that eraser ~ not that you ever erased anything with it! I am so thankful that I feel like you are so close ~ the images I have of you in my mind are so clear, they have not faded at all ~ I hope they never do. I love you so much, baby girl! Big Hugs! XOXOXO

Date:: March 29, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan Saville! I hope you have had a good day today, sweetie! I was thinking about how much you loved to tease Daddy, and I actually smiled. You are so funny ~ and I don’t think that I have ever seen anyone make him as crazy (well, maybe Clayton)! Today when I picked Clayton up from school, I noticed that all the children in his class had their art projects (from a few days ago) out and ready to go home. They were eggs, but they were cracked so that you could see what was hatching from the eggs. I looked at the eggs, and all the children had sweet little chicks, baby birds, and ducklings hatching out of their eggs. They were so cute! And then I saw Clayton’s. You are never going to believe what his egg was hatching! An alligator! I know you would have said, “Aaaaahhhh! An alligator! I’m scared! Aaaahhh!” when you saw it. Then Clayton would have kept showing it to you, and you and he would have had a ball playing all afternoon. Tonight he took your picture off of the fridge, and he started to sing “I miss this three year old girl! I miss Morgan!” You know, we all miss you and love you so very very much...

Date:: March 28, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope you had a great day today! I painted the hall where your artwork is hanging today. I was thinking that I wished I had done it when you were here. The hall looks so much better, and you loved to sit on the stairs there. I think that you would have liked to have something to look up at. Wow! Sometimes ~ it just hits me so hard that you are gone ~ I try to make it through the days without focusing on the fact that you are gone. But, when that realization hits me ~ oh, it just hurts so much more than I ever thought anything could. I miss you so very much, Mo-mo. Thank you for being my precious little girl ~ I love you!

Date:: March 27, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan! I hope you have had a good day, sweetie girl! I know you were busy this afternoon ~ silly girl! Thank you so much for sending me all those little signs ~ they mean so much to me. We all miss you so much, and we think about you constantly. I wish that I could hold you, hug you, kiss you ~ you are my best girl! I love you so much, Morgan!

Date:: March 26, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope you have had a great day sweetie! I haven't been feeling all that great for the past few days (physically) but I am doing better now. Daddy probably wouldn't let me carry you if you were here ~ but, you know I'd have to sneak in some holding time with you. Today Zekie, Clayton, and I framed some of the artwork that you all have done over the past few years. We picked the Christmas present that you painted with the square sponges, the brown bear you made with the paper plate, and a painting that you made on a large piece of yellow paper. They are all just beautiful, and I love having them up where I can see them everyday! I miss you and love you so much, baby girl!

Date:: March 25, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope you have had a great day, sweetie! I have been sleeping in your bed for the past few nights ~ I just miss you not being there beside me. I miss the sound of the bi-pap, and the air blowing in my face. Sometimes, I even hear the alarms go off ~ three beeps for heart rate, six beeps for O2. I just want to hold you, to feel your tummy move up and down as you fall asleep. I want to talk to you, and listen to you, listen to your dreams, your thoughts, your ideas. I love you so much, baby girl.

Date:: March 24, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope you have had a great day today! I think I had a dream about you last night ~ it’s kind of fuzzy, though. You were asking me about my bandages from my surgery, and you wanted to see my boo-boo’s ~ just like you did when I had my gall bladder surgery. You were so sweet, wanting to kiss the boo-boo’s on my tummy. That is what I need now ~ some of those special Morgan kisses! I have to tell you that Clayton has tried to fill in for you with asking about the bandages. I love you so much, Morgan ~ you are in my thoughts all the time. I miss you, baby girl!

Date:: March 23, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you had a great day today! Thank you for watching over Mommy today ~ sweet girl! I had a little surgery, but it was very quick, and I feel fine ~ just a little groggy. Guess what? My veins rolled again ~ the one in my hand actually blew out like the one in your foot did last June. They had two nurses trying to get my IV line going, and they had to stick me three times. Normally, I would not have been laughing about it (because I am such a WIMP!) ~ but today I was ~ it just made me think about you. You are so sweet, you never once complained about your foot hurting, and now that I know how it feels ~ it hurts ~ you are just a doll! I love you and miss you so much, baby girl! Big Hugs!

Date:: March 22, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan, baby! I hope that you have had a great day today! I love you sweetie bird! I miss telling you that every morning ~ I miss my good morning hugs, and kisses ~ I miss you, baby girl! You know that the faucet in Mommy and Daddy’s shower has a leak ~ remember when you would sit on the potty, and it would say, “Drip! Drip!” Well, Daddy decided to fix it last night ~ I don’t know why, because it has been that way for at least the past three years. Well, he cut a hole in the wall to get to the cut off valves ~ but there weren’t any! Daddy decided to wait until this morning to cut off the main water line to our house ~ that way if the 30 year old valve broke, we could call the city out to stop the leak. So, this morning Daddy went to the hardware store, and while he was gone, there was a knock on the door. Guess who was there? The City of Virginia Beach ~ Public Utilities. They had come out to replace our water meter, and the main water valve in the front yard. When Daddy came home, I think that even he was convinced that there had been a little angel working hard to send her Daddy a sign. He needed a sign that was just for him ~ and he knew it was! I think that he feels bad that you never visit him in his dreams, but I told him that you probably try, but whenever you hear his snoring you just fall fast asleep ~ just like you did here. I found a tiny little sleeping angel statue, and I placed in on his bedside table ~ just so he knows you are always near. I miss you so much, and I love you forever!

Date:: March 21, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a great day, baby doll! I love you so very much! I think that I am doing better than I have been over the past few days. I just miss you so very much ~ the pain just consumes me at times ~ I just have to take it in limited doses. Okay, well, Mo-mo a lot has been going on. First, last week our cousin, Hughie had a little girl (well, Kim, his wife did) ~ Hailey, so you have a new cousin to keep an eye on. And, if one is fun, then two is ... more fun! Also, this afternoon our friends, Jennifer and Matt had a little (well ~ big 8 lbs. 2 oz., and 21 inches) BOY ~ Nicholas! Please keep a watch over these new babies, so their mommy’s and daddy’s can get some sleep over the next few months. Thank you, sweetie. I also wanted to tell you that Erinne went to Canine Assistants training on Sunday. She is getting her very own service dog! I am very excited for her ~ I know that this will give Erinne more self confidence, and independence ~ something that Daddy and I always wanted for you. Last night I looked at some of her pictures from yesterday ~ her first day ( http://www.our-sma-angels.com/ErinneRose/just_me7.htm ), and in the second one on the left ~ I could just see how happy and thrilled Erinne was ~ I could imagine you being that happy. I am so happy for Erinne and Suzanne that I was just in tears. Oddly enough, the first dog that Erinne met yesterday was named “Morgan.” Can you believe that? Suzanne said it made her smile! I love you and miss you so much, Morgan~Morgan!

Date:: March 20, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope you have had a great day today! Well, I guess you know I have been a little bit more depressed than usual lately. I think I am doing much better now, though. I know that you are helping me every step of the way, baby girl ~ you have always given me the strength I needed to keep going. I still miss you very much, and I love you forever!

Date:: March 19, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan, baby! I hope that you have had a great day today! Guess what?!? Daddy got his hair cut yesterday, and was able to donate it to “Locks for Love.” This morning, he had his glasses off, and I thought about what you would have said to him, “Daddy! Put your glasses on!” You were always so worried he was going to try to put you to sleep if he took his glasses off. I also thought about the fact that you aren’t able to tell us what you think about his haircut, but I think that you would have said, “Daddy, I like your new haircut!” I can almost hear you say it. I love you and miss you so much, baby girl!

Date:: March 18, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope you have had a great day today, baby girl! Do you know what a nut your mommy is? I have been anxious and worried for the past several days, and I have no idea why. Maybe I am just a little bit out of sorts right now ~ I can not believe how difficult this is ~ I miss you so much ~ I just can’t seem to grasp this. Please know how much I love you, sweetie ~ I wish more than anything that you were still here with us. We all love you and miss you so very much, baby!

Date:: March 17, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan, baby! Happy St. Patrick’s Day!! I hope that you have had a great day today ~ and remembered to wear something green! I found your St. Patrick’s Day ribbons that I bought for you last year ~ you would have just looked adorable with those ribbons in your hair. Clayton wore his green “turtle shirt” today, and they had a St. Patrick’s Day celebration ~ Sissy picked him up from school and said that he was wearing a Leprechaun mask/hat. Zekie decided that he was only going to wear a tie with a little bit of green in it ~ teenagers! (well, almost) Oh, Morgan... I can’t seem to figure out what to do with my life. It was so easy when you were here ~ I knew what I wanted to do. I love you and miss you so very much, baby girl!

Date:: March 16, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope you have had a great day today, sweetie! Guess what? Zeke received a letter in the mail today that said he was accepted into the National Honor Society Junior Division! We are so proud of him, and I know that you would be so excited for him! This has been a very difficult year for him ~ he loves you so very much. Of course, Clayton loves you, too. Tonight when we were eating dinner he said, “We have four places. We need to have five places. One for Zekie, one for Daddy, one for Mommy, one for Morgan, and one for ME!” He was counting with his fingers while explaining this to me. We do need five places, Morgan ~ we all need you. We love you and miss you so much, baby girl!

Date:: March 15, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope you have had a good day today. Today Zekie had a half day of school today. He and Clayton and I spent the afternoon together, trying to frame some of their artwork. I would like to frame one of your big pictures, also ~ it has just been difficult for me to look through your projects. I miss you so much ~ Do you know what I love about you? EVERYTHING! You are just the best ~ the perfect daughter for me. Thank you for letting me be your mommy, sweetie ~ I love you and miss you so very much!

Date:: March 14, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan, sweetie bird! I hope you have had a great day today. I have been thinking about how funny and smart you are, baby girl. Today I had to take Zekie to see Dr. Karp. I thought that he had hives, but it seems to be some sort of bug bites instead. Can you believe how many times we have been to TCA in the past two months?? I was thinking about you sitting up on the steps when we went there in November. You looked so grown up, and just beautiful. Of course you are a beautiful girl, but more than that, you are beautiful inside. I could look into your eyes and just know that you were happy, and it always made me happy. I love you and miss you so very much! XOXOXO

Date:: March 13, 2006

Today

Morgan! It is now 10:55pm, and everyone is asleep (except me) ~ and guess what?? That carousel has started laughing again ~ it has laughed three times in the past two minutes ~ and no one is even in the den. Thank you, baby girl! I wish that I could go in there and just find you and pick you up and hold you my precious baby ~ I love you so very very much!

Date:: March 13, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope you had a great day today, sweetie! I have had you on my mind all day, baby girl! Oh, I miss you so much! Tonight, I was checking my e-mail, and Zekie went into the den to read. He sat down on the sofa, and about a minute later the carousel started to "giggle" for a second ~ we have a lot of toys that make noise. We looked at each other, and he said, “It usually plays music first.” I said, “I know.” He looked back over at the carousel with his “angry eyebrows,” and it giggled again. He fell back into the sofa, and it giggled again. He sat up straight, and it giggled again. I told him to stop moving around, because it must have been detected his movements. I turned back to the computer, and that carousel giggled again! I said, “Zeke!” and he said, “Mom, I didn’t move!” And the carousel giggled AGAIN! “ZEKE!” I looked at him, and he was perfectly still, and the carousel giggled again, and again, and again. Once I knew that Zekie wasn’t moving ~ it just stopped. It did not make another giggle, not even when he got up from the sofa to put his books away. It was very funny, Morgan ~ and we both thought it reminded us of your funny little sense of humor ~ I hope it was! I love you so much, baby girl! I miss you...

Date:: March 12, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan! I hope you had a great day today, sweetie! Do you have any idea how difficult it is to be here without you? Of course, I miss you so very, VERY much ~ but I’m talking about the day to day stuff ~ stuff that YOU completely understand. Tonight, I was in the bathroom unpacking my soap, lotion, etc. from the trip, and Clayton walked into to the bathroom. He looked at the soap and the lotion ~ which are in containers that look the same ~ and said, “What in the world! Mommy, you have two of these soaps!?!” I said, “No, Sweetie ~ One is lotion, and one is soap.” Then he looked at me and said, “That is the silliest thing I ever heard! I don’t get it!” and he left. You never questioned our soap/lotion containers! In fact, you always knew which one was which. BOYS! They aren’t all bad, though ~ Clayton was talking about you tonight, and he said, “Mommy, you know which girl I love best?” (I’m never 100% certain what he is going to say, so) I said, “Who?” and he said, “MORGAN!” Zekie still has your bunny ~ he took it out of his pocket a lot in Florida ~ I think he wanted to make sure that it was safe. We all love you and think about you all the time, precious girl! I love you! I love you! I love you!! XOXOXO

Date:: March 12, 2006

Today

Saturday ~ March 11th ~ Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope you had a good day today, baby girl! We did not get home until after midnight ~ but I have been thinking about you all day. Zekie and Clayton watched Harry Potter and (as Clayton says) the Coblet of Fire on the way back home. I know that you would have wanted to watch Dora the Explorer or Sponge Bob. It was a long drive, but I know that you would have been great. We all missed you so much this week ~ like always, but it was really hard this week. You are so important to all of us. Without you to share happy or exciting things, we all feel some emptiness. I think that we always will. We all love you and miss you so very much, Mo~mo!

Date:: March 10, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan, baby! I hope you have had a great day today. Today we went to Discovery Cove. I think that you would have really liked it. I don't know that you would have warmed up to the birds, but I think that you would have enjoyed the water, and swimming all around. Clayton was very nervous around the birds, at first. But soon, he was renaming them. He named one the "doorbell bird," because it sang everytime someone new (especially him) came in. He even tried to feed them out of his hand. A Cuckoo bird came and landed on Daddy's shoulder, and he did not even have any food. Then Zekie sat beside Daddy, and the other Cuckoo bird sat on Zekie's shoulder. The first bird sat on Daddys shoulder for about 15 minutes just chirping in his ear (I was a little bit nervous that he was going to peck Daddy's ear, because he kept chirping right into it). Later, Zeke was feeding a small orange, yellow, green and blue bird, and he wanted me to get some more food. I went to take the cup from Zeke and that silly bird bit my finger. It did not hurt ~ at all, but Clayton did go all over the Discovery Cove telling EVERYONE that would listen, that his mommy was bitten by a bad birdie. It reminded me of something that you would have done. We are going home tomorrow, and I am glad. It has been a nice vacation, but very hard. It is hard to keep on going without you here. I hope that you know more than I do about life after Earth. I hope that we will be together for eternity, and I hope that you know how much we all miss and love you baby girl! We do! We love you and miss you so very much!

Date:: March 09, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you had a great day today! Today we went to Kennedy Space center. We took a bus tour to a simulated launch pad, and the Apollo/Saturn V Center. It is rally amazing how big the orbiters are. We all went to an IMAX movie after the tour, and as soon as the lights went out, Clayton wanted to leave. I just knew that you would have wanted to leave, too. It was too dark, and too loud for either one of you. It worked out pretty well, because Clayton was able to meet an astronaut, and have his picture taken with him. I saw a t-shirt in the souvenir shop that I would have had to buy for you ~ it was light pink with silvery/glittery lettering that read, “Rocket Scientist.” It would have been perfect for my brainy little girl! We miss you so much ~ you are such a big part of our family. This morning Clayton was singing, “Morgan, I love you. Morgan, I miss you.” I usually talk to him when he starts talking or singing about you, but I just listened this time. Oh, Morgan baby ~ we just love you and miss you so very much!

Date:: March 09, 2006

Today

Wednesday ~ March 8th ~ Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you had a great day today! Today we went to see Aunt Frances and Uncle Tim. They have a beautiful house on the Indian River. You would have just loved the big open deck in the back yard that overlooks the river. But, I think that you would have really loved Aunt Frances and Uncle Tim’s bedroom ~ it overlooks the river, and the view is just amazing! We saw dolphin, and pelicans all over the place. It was beautiful! Aunt Penny and Bill also came over, and we had a wonderful lunch. I wish that you could have been there, Morgan. I wish that they had been able to get to know you better, to listen to your wonderful vocabulary, and funny sayings. We think about you all the time, sweetie, and we love and miss you so much!

Date:: March 07, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you had a great day today! We all think about you all the time. This morning we went to the swimming pool here. I think that you would have liked the pool, but it was not as warm as you like it. I watched Daddy, Zekie, and Clayton in the pool. I know that if you had been here, you would have been in the pool with Daddy, and I would have been in the pool with the boys. You just love to float around in the pool with your Daddy. They had pool-side hair weaving, airbrush tattoos, and beading. I think that you would have wanted to make something with beads ~ probably a bracelet. This afternoon, Zekie and I were standing in a line waiting to ride a roller coaster, and I looked around at all the teenage girls, and I just thought about you ~ how much I miss you, and will always miss you. I love you so very much, sweetie bird!

Date:: March 06, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope you had a great day today! We went to Cocoa Beach, but I think that you already know that. After a few hours of playing with Zeke and Clayton in the water, Daddy went to read, and I went up to our towels to lay out, while Clayton was busy trying to bury Zekie in the sand. Well, guess what?? A lady bug landed on my hip. I put my hand down to it, and it jumped right into my hand. Do you have any idea how many times I have been to the beach in my life? Probably, at least a thousand. Do you know how many times a lady bug has landed on me? Never ~ ever! I showed Daddy, and he held out his hand, and that lady bug would not go to him. He said "She's just like Morgan, she just wants to be with you." Finally, it did go to Daddy for about a minute. Then it hopped back over to me, and sat on my tummy for a few minutes. Then it flew away, and right back down on my leg, then away, and back, and away again. About two minutes later, Daddy said that a lady bug had landed on him. I said, "It is probably the same one." He said, "No, it's different." I thought that he must have studied that first one very closely to see that it was not the same. Then he said, "Look." The first one was red with a lot of little black spots ~ just like the one you had played with about two years ago. This second one (the one that landed on Daddy) was all black with just two large red spots on either side. I told him that I thought it was a "man bug." It was definitely more masculine then the one that landed on me. It is so nice to have signs from you, but you know that we would prefer to have you. We love and miss you so much, baby girl!

Date:: March 05, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a great day, today! Today we went to Sea World. Zekie has been there (recently) and so he was like our tour guide. I don't know if you would have liked the Shamu Show (the killer whales are so big and they splash ~ A LOT), but I know that you would have loved the dolphin show. Clayton sat on Daddy's lap, and his jaw just dropped when the dolphins popped out of the water with a man standing on their "noses." I saw a little girl fast asleep in her stroller that looked a litle bit like you did when you were about a year old. Just a tiny bit of blond hair, and chubby little legs ~ just like yours! When we were leaving the Shamu show, I thought that if you had been with us, I would have been crazy ~ worried about germs ~ there were so many people there ~ coughing, sniffling, and sneezing. I think that I would have risked it, though because I know you would have had so much fun. Oh, Morgan ~ I love you and miss you so much, baby girl! XOXOXO

Date:: March 04, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a great day today. We are here ~ safe and sound ~ in Orlando, FL. This morning we stopped at a McDonalds for breakfast on the road. I was driving, and Daddy was *trying* to get some sleep (not easy to do with Clayton talking to him). As we were pulling out, I noticed that there was a guy wearing a bracelet just like the silver one that you always wore. I have never seen anyone with a bracelet just like yours before ~ it just made me smile. We pulled back onto I-95, and less than a minute later, I saw a billboard that read: "For the people ~ Morgan & Morgan." ~ it was a law firm. I again smiled, almost laughed that these two events occured within about two minutes of each other. You are a funny girl, Morgan~Morgan! Tonight, Aunt Frances and Uncle Tim came up to Orlando, and took us out for a wonderful dinner. It was great to see them ~ I wish we lived closer. We are planning to go see them on Wednesday. I can't wait ~ I have never seen their house except in pictures. I love you and miss you, sweetie ~ I had no idea how difficult it would be to be here without you. I miss you more everyday, baby girl! XOXOXO

Date:: March 03, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a wonderful day today! Do you have any idea how many catalogs we get? I loved going through the Playthings, Lego (you silly girl) and CWD kids catalogs with you. Sissy always liked The Wooden Soldier catalog with all the beautiful little girl dresses. A few days ago, I opened up the CWD kids catalog ~ I wanted to look at the FightSMA outfit ~ and, I just couldn’t keep looking through it ~ it was too hard. Every time, I look at a catalog, I think about you ~ and what you would like. Yesterday, the Restoration Hardware (I don’t even know how we got on this list) catalog came ~ I figured that was pretty safe ~ we never went there, it wasn’t children’s clothes, or toys. Sounds good, right? Well I opened the catalog a little bit past the middle right up to: The Morgan Collection! It is a leather furniture collection ~ but there you were ~ I just had to laugh! Isn’t that so funny?!? Of course, Morgan you are EVERYWHERE! I just love the little reminders, though ~ We are off to Florida tonight, and I hope that we will have internet access. If not, please know that you are always in my thoughts, prayers, and dreams. I love you and miss you so much, baby girl!

Date:: March 02, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a great day, baby girl! Tonight, while we were having dinner, Clayton just stared outside. He said, “Mommy, what are those purple things in the sky?” I looked, and said, “Hmmm ~ they look like clouds to me.” He said, “Why are they purple?” I looked at them, and said “It looks like the sunlight is reflecting on them to make them look purple.” He said, “Well I think that is Morgan’s cloud!” We all agreed that it could be, and if you had your choice, you would have picked a purple cloud! Today, I was looking at your baby pictures ~ do you know that you have always had the most beautiful, delicate fingers ~ from the moment you were born. They are just beautiful. I remember somebody in the hospital said that your hands were made for diamonds ~ and they were! What is it that Sissy taught you? Diamonds are WHAT? “A girls best friend!" Right? I love you so much, Mo-mo!

Date:: March 02, 2006

Today

Hi Mo~Mo! I just wanted to let you know that I'm thinking about you (like always) ~ I love you so much, my sweet baby girl! XOXOXO

Date:: March 01, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope you have had a beautiful day today! Zeke is doing well, although he does miss you like CRAZY! He is still carrying the little pink beanie bunny in his pocket that he bought you when you were in the hospital. Clayton loves to put his hand in Zekie’s pocket, pull out the bunny, and say, “Zekie, why are playing with Morgan’s favorite bunny in the whole wide world?” Zekie just rolls his eyes, and ignores him (which is actually pretty hard to do). Clayton is ~ well ~ Clayton! He is so funny. Today he made “a thing you hang on the door knob.” Sissy came by this afternoon and saw it. She said, “Clayton this is wonderful. Would you make one for me?” He looked at her, and held his hands out (like a halt signal), then began waving his hands, and said, “No can do, Sissy! I made this at school today, we aren’t going to be making them again tomorrow.” Isn’t he so silly? I know that you would have made one for Sissy, and she would have loved it! We all love you and miss you so much, baby girl...

Date:: February 28, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope you have had a great day, sweetie-pie girl! I love you! I want a kiss and a big hug ~ I miss you so very much! I love the way that you would pucker up your lips to give me kisses ~ you are just so adorable! I still haven’t been able to pack for our trip ~ I just really wanted you to go with us. Oh, Morgan there are so many things I wanted to do with you and share with you. Going to Florida was just one ~ and really not one of the important ones. The things that I wanted to do, were the things that you liked to do. I wanted to take you for your first hair cut. I wanted to show you how to make a baby foot prints by putting your fist in the ink blotter, and then topping them off with finger prints. We had so much fun with finger prints ~ you are so creative ~ Remember, you wanted me to make a mouse with your finger prints ~ and it was just too cute! I just wanted to be with you ~ teach you, learn from you ~ just like it was. Please know how much I love you and miss you, sweetie! All my kisses!

Date:: February 27, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you had a great day today, sweetie! Today I was reading a book with Clayton about the human body. I think that you would have liked this book, because you know so much about the body ~ you always knew your body so well! I remember when we were in Nags Head last year and you had that cold ~ you would never wear that bi-pap, but (that week) you knew that you needed it. Just like you knew when you needed to be coughed with the cough machine. I was always amazed at how well you knew your body especially at two years old! You are so smart! I am so proud of you Morgan Morgan Saville! I love you, baby girl... and I miss you more than I ever thought possible.

Date:: February 26, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan! I hope you had a great day today! Today was Sissy and GrandDaddy’s anniversary, and after I reminded them of it, I worked on planning for SMArgaritaville. My day really perked up when I saw the rainbow in our hallway this afternoon. I hope that you sent that to us ~ I still don’t know what to make of all the strange things that happen here, at Uncle Billy’s and Aunt Debbie’s, and at Jennifer’s, but it makes me feel better to think that you are sending us signals. You are such a sweet little girl. I hope that you are happy ~ playing, jumping, and running ~ I know that you have been running all over Virginia Beach! Sweetie, you don’t have to try to comfort me ~ I’m the mommy, and it is my job to comfort you. I just want you to be happy, I want you to have fun, and just know that I will be with you before you know it, and we will NEVER be separated again. Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE the signs, and I honestly do need them ~ but please don’t worry about me, baby. Oh Morgan, I love you and miss you so very much! XOXOXO

Date:: February 25, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope you had a great day today, sweetie-bird! Today, Daddy, Zekie, Clayton, and I were looking at Clayton’s school work from this past week. He made a rainbow, and it is beautiful. You always made the best rainbows, too. I remember that you and Clayton always wanted to make rainbows ~ you loved to finger paint them, color them, use a paint brush, and remember the blo-pens I bought for you?? You loved to do that too! I guess I can tell you now ~ the reason I bought the blo-pens was to help your lungs. I was amazed at how well you did with them ~ you always amaze me, baby girl! Tonight, I was also looking at the rainbow napkin holder that you, Zekie, and Clayton made. It was so hard to get all those popsicle sticks to stay together, that we had to get Zekie to help us ~ I think it was your idea, too. I kept spilling the popsicle sticks, and you said, “Zekie! I think we need some help!” You are too cute, and smart! I miss you so much, baby girl! I know that we will be together again, someday, but it seems like such a long time to wait. I love you more and more each day, sweetie!

Date:: February 24, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you had a great day today! Yesterday, Zekie received a letter in the mail from school. It says that he may be considered for the National Junior Honor Society! We are so proud of him, and I know that you are, too. I imagine you would be saying, “Yeah, Zekie! Let’s have a party!” He isn’t very hopeful that he will make it, because he needs letters of recommendation ~ but I am sure that if he thinks about it, there are a lot of people who would write letters. It is hard to celebrate without you here, but I know that you would want me to be happy with Zekie. You are such a sweet little girl. We all miss you so much, Morgan~Morgan, and we love you so much! XOXOXO

Date:: February 24, 2006

Today

February 23, 2006 ~ Hi Morgan~Morgan! Tonight Daddy and I were talking about the first time I ever curled your hair ~ do you remember it? It was Christmas 2004, and we were going over to Sissy and GrandDaddy’s house. Sissy always likes to see Mommy’s hair curled, so I was curling my hair, and you were sitting in your lounge chair next to the vanity in Mommy and Daddy’s, and you asked me to curl yours too. You said, “Curl my hair, too, Mommy.” So I did ~ I was so nervous because I was using a hot curling iron, and I was afraid I was going to burn you, but you were so good about getting your hair done ~ at least that first night ~ after that, I think you were just over me messing with your hair. I love you and miss you so much, baby girl!

Date:: February 23, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope you are having a good day, sweetie! This is a quick note to let you know that I won’t have access to my computer tonight, but I am still going to write you a letter ~ I will just send it tomorrow. I really just wanted to let you to know that I am thinking about you ~ as always! I love you sweetie pie, and I miss you so SO much!

Date:: February 23, 2006

Today

February 22, 2006 ~ Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope you had a great day today! This morning, our good friend Jennifer sent me an e-mail... have you been playing games with her? She told me that this past Sunday night she woke up knowing she'd had a dream about you ~ you know one of those dreams that you know what the dream was about, but the details are kind of fuzzy? Later in the morning, her husband said "you didn't notice the ceiling fan and light come on overnight, huh?" Jen was like, no...missed that....well, he said that sometime during the night, their fan and light over the bed came on and woke him up; the remote for it was across the room on the dresser, so it wasn't like they'd rolled over on it or anything, and none of the clocks were flashing, so she didn't think they’d had a power failure....just unexplainable? Then, Miss Morgan...it did it the next night, too. Just the light came on, no fan....but it did wake up Jennifer and it was at that moment she remembered my stories like that at our house. She just thought; what a weird coincidence (?) that it started the night she dreamed about you! Morgan, you are so funny! I know that you know how much Jennifer cares about you, and I hope that you were playing with her ~ maybe, next time not in the middle of the night? She gets up so early, and I’m sure that for the next six months she is going to have a lot of broken sleep with a new baby. I hope that you will watch over them, and make sure that they are all safe, and healthy. Carly, her daughter (who is just a year younger than you) sends big girl hugs to you! I like to think that you are playing, having fun, and visiting the people that care about you ~ it is so sweet of you to try to help us get through this. But, you are a sweet little girl! I love you, baby girl, and I miss you so very VERY much!

Date:: February 21, 2006

Today

Hi Baby Girl! I hope you had a good day today. Guess what!! Both of your brothers made it through the day today at school! Yeah! I hope that means we have “turned the corner.” Today while they were at school, I cleaned the kitchen floor. I noticed that it was so quiet, and then one of the toys started “ticking.” It went on for about thirty seconds. It was strange, because I wasn’t even in the den. I miss you so very much, Morgan. Today I was thinking about how perfect my life was ~ with SMA in it. It was perfect, you are perfect, and I knew that each and everyday that you were here with us. Now, SMA is gone from my daily life and my life will never be perfect again. Sometimes, it just hurts so much to think about you not being here. What am I going to do without you? How can I go on? Oh, baby, I know that you must be giving me strength and guiding me, or else I would just be a basket case. Thank you for always helping me, sweet girl. I love you and miss you so much, sweetie pie! XOXOXO

Date:: February 20, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a good day today, baby girl! Today I was cleaning under your crib, and I found your Halloween “bracelet.” You are so funny ~ I bought the Halloween ribbon for your hair, and you wanted me to “make a bracelet” on your wrist with that ribbon ~ you love your bracelets! I miss your little wrists. I miss stretching, and compressing them. I know exactly how big your wrist is around ~ my thumb would overlap the top of my middle finger when I put it around your wrist ~ your wrist is so little, but then again you are only three years old. Just three years old... I miss my three year old ~ thank you so much Morgan for being here with me for three years ~ I wish (I know I say that all the time) that it had been longer. Today is Grandpa’s birthday, I hope that he has had a great day. Daddy called and talked to him earlier ~ it is cold up there. Actually, it’s cold here, so I imagine it must be FREEZING in Michigan. I love you and miss you so much, sweetie! Stay warm!

Date:: February 19, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan, silly girl! I hope you had a great day today, sweetie! This morning Zeke and I were in the den, and one of the lamps started dimming ~ low to high ~ very fast. Every time we looked at the light, it would not do it, but as soon as we turned away ~ it dimmed again! It was so funny! Zekie and I just laughed! Then Zeke noticed that the light was the one that we had had your “switch” on ~ the switch that you could bang to turn the fan and the light on. I looked at the plug, and GUESS WHAT?? It is still hooked up to your switch! I hope it was you, and I hope that you are happy. I woke up this morning, and found myself in negotiations with God ~ I was trying to get you back ~ of course, as I was waking up I really thought that God was going to give you back to us, but as my head cleared, I realized it was all a dream. I know that I can’t get you back, but it doesn’t keep me from wanting you here with me. I love you, and miss you so very much, Morgan, baby.

Date:: February 18, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan! I hope you have had a great day today, baby girl. Today is Nana’s (Aunt Betty Anne’s) birthday. I hope that she has had a wonderful day. Do you remember for your birthday she brought you that beautiful Barbie princess cake? You just loved that cake ~ it was so beautiful! Nana loves you so much ~ she is always thinking about you. Every weekend she would come by with clips for your hair, little nail polishes, or something else that she thought might be good for you to play with. We are so lucky to have her! Today Aunt Debbie and I worked on SMArgaritaville for a little while. Uncle Billy is making DVD’s of you’re the articles they did on the news about you to send out with our sponsorship packages. You are such a smart, fun, and beautiful little girl, and I want everyone to know who you are. You have such a wonderful attitude, positive outlook, and independent spirit, and I want people to see that just because you could not walk, you are still a vibrant little girl. I love you so much ~ BIG HUG ~ and I miss you so very very much. A HUNDRED KISSES.

Date:: February 17, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan! I hope that you had a great day today. Tonight I took Zeke to “Hangout Night” at school, and when we got into the van to leave, I could see your picture in our foyer through the dining room window ~ you were the last thing I saw when I left the house. When I pulled back into the driveway, the first thing I saw was your picture. I never noticed it before, but then again I don’t go out much at night. I really like that though, because when you were here, you were always the last one I said goodbye to and the first one I checked on when I came home. Thank you for being there for me. Clayton was very upset tonight when I did not bring Zeke back with me. I explained to him that Zekie was at school, and he said (barely able to breathe), “It is night. We don’t go to school at night. You need to go get Zekie now.” Daddy and I both tried to explain that Zeke was having fun with his friends, and we would get him in a little while, but Clayton just would not stop. I think he is nervous ~ he doesn’t want Zeke to go away, and not come back. We all miss you so much, baby girl. It is just so unfair to us. I hope that you are happy in Heaven, and while Earth may not be as wonderful, we would have done everything and anything to make your life as close to perfect as we could. We all love you so much, Mo-mo! XOXOXO

Date:: February 17, 2006

Today

February 16, 2006 ~ Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a great day today! Zekie has been sick again this week. He saw Dr. Mink today, so we are hopeful that his prescription will help him feel much better. Clayton went with us, so he will probably be sick again next week ~ it seems like they are taking turns ~ one week Clayton, the next week it’s Zekie. Dr. Mink asked Zeke if he could swallow pills and, of course, Clayton was the one to answer, “Dr. Mink! I can’t swallow PILLOWS! I’ve tried and tried [this was news to me], but I can’t swallow pillows. It always makes me cough!” Your brother is too funny! Today when I took Clayton to school, we saw a little girl in his class, and I said, “Isn’t that your friend?” He said, “No. My friend is Morgan. Morgan is the only girl I love.” He does love you so much, and I know how much you love Tayton ~ so, I will keep telling him (and Zekie) for you. I wonder what you are doing up there in Heaven, baby girl ~ I wonder what you would be doing if you were here. I love you and miss you so much, my sweet baby...

Date:: February 15, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a great day today. Today was much better for me. Yesterday was just so difficult ~ I miss you, Sweetie. Today I focused on you, the all the wonderful and great things about you ~ not the fact that you aren’t here. I looked at your pictures, and remembered the way that you laughed ~ your laugh is one of the three (the other two being Zekie’s and Clayton’s) sweetest sounds I have ever heard. I love the way that your eyes would twinkle, and hear that sweet giggly laugh that started deep in your tummy. Just thinking about your laugh makes me want to pick you up and give you a “Big Hug!” I love you so much, my sweet little girl, and I miss you more each day. And, Morgan, thank you for helping me get through each day without you, baby.

Date:: February 14, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! Happy Valentine’s Day, Sweetie-bird! I hope that you have had a wonderful day. This morning I went to Clayton’s school for a tea. You would have been so proud of him ~ he was wonderful! He knew every word to the song they sang, and he sang loud. I remember when we sang our “Good Morning Song” in school you were always the one that sang the loudest! Today was difficult for me ~ I miss you so very much. This afternoon, when Sissy came over, the lights flickered, and I heard a noise that sounded like a mouse scurrying around ~ Sissy saw the lights flicker, and heard the noise, too. I hope that it was a sign from you. Flickering lights, water running, strange calls to my cell phone, “shooting stars” ~ what more could I ask for? Just you, sweetie ~ just you. I love you and miss you so much. XOXOXO

Date:: February 13, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a great day today! Tomorrow is Valentine’s Day, and I have had such a hard time getting into it. I just miss you! I’m not sad tonight ~ well, I am always sad without you here, but I'm not a wreck. I am happy to be writing to you, although I wish you were here. This is kind of funny ~ you would laugh at your crazy mommy! Today I was going through the Valentine’s candies that I bought for Zeke, Clayton, and Clayton’s teachers ~ and I was laying them out (talking out loud to myself, like always) ~ just naming who each was for. “Zeke” ~ I put down a box of candy. “Clayton” ~ I put down a box of candy. “Morgan” ~ I put down the box of candy. Are you trying to get a box of chocolate through telepathy? You would ~ you are so smart! I hope you have a wonderful Valentine’s Day party tomorrow ~ just like the one in my dream. I’m so proud of you Morgan! I love you and miss you so very much, Sweetie!

Date:: February 12, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a great day today! Tonight, we went to Sissy's house with Aunt Debbie and Uncle Billy. While we were there, it snowed, not much but it was pretty. I remember a few years ago when it snowed. You, Zekie, and Clayton were sliding down our driveway on a sled. I was so nervous that Clayton was going to somehow hurt you, but he was very careful. Tonight, Clayton stood outside at Sissy’s house, and stuck his tongue out trying to catch the snowflakes on his tongue. I think that you would have liked that, too. Daddy would have taken you outside, and I bet I would have seen you and Daddy with your tongues out. When Clayton came in, he told us that it was snowing water! I think that he was disappointed that snow didn't taste like milk or candy. I think that you would have been thrilled, though because you just loved your water. Oh, Morgan we just miss you so very much, and continue to love you more each day. XOXO

Date:: February 11, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope you have had a great day today, baby girl! Today Zekie, Clayton, and I made chocolate heart candies. I was thinking about how much you love CHOCOLATE! I remember every time I had a piece of chocolate in my mouth, you would say, “Mommy, what are you eating?” and it didn’t matter if I was right next to you or in another room ~ you always knew when I was eating chocolate (it must have been one of those weird mother/daughter connections). Clayton wanted to make his hearts a little different this year ~ he wanted to make his with stripes, polka dots, and smiley faces ~ it actually worked out very well. After they had hardened, he put aside five pieces, and he told me that he wanted to share them with his family. One for Daddy, one for Zekie, one for Mommy, one for Morgan, and one for Clayton. The he asked me how many days it would be before you come back here. I told him that you were probably not going to really come back, not like you were before. Then he took the candy that he had set aside for you, and he put it in the fridge to save for you. He thinks about you so much, and I am glad that he talks about you as much as he does ~ you are his best friend. You are a very special little girl, because you made all of us feel like we were your best friend. Oh, Morgan, I love you and miss you so much, baby.

Date:: February 10, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you had a great day today! I think that Clayton is starting to feel better. Daddy and I put the monitor in his room so that we could hear him. Last night after everyone had gone to sleep, I was downstairs in the kitchen, and I heard Clayton make some noises that sounded like you. Those little sounds...so sweet. Oh, I wish that they were your sounds. We all miss you so much ~ Daddy and I really wanted to take care of you forever ~ we wanted to protect you, and keep you safe. You really made us both better people. We worked so well together ~ for you. You taught us so much. Tonight we had pizza for dinner, and I was using your Barbie plate. Clayton looked at the plate, and he asked, “Mommy, is that pizza for Morgan?” We all think about you all the time, baby girl. We like to talk about you, and the funny things that you did and said. We will miss you until we are with you again, and we love you so much, Morgan!

Date:: February 09, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you had a great day today, Sweetie! Today I took Clayton to see Dr. Mink. He was still coughing a lot last night and this morning, so I figured it was time. Dr. Mink put him on an antibiotic, so hopefully he will be feeling much better tomorrow. We saw a lot of our friends in the office ~ they have been the greatest. They always let me take you in the back of the office so that we were not exposed to any other germs. They really love you, Morgan. I remember when we would sit in the back, everyone would come by to say, “Hi!” to you. They were always so proud of how well you were sitting, or mentioned how beautiful you were, and I was so proud of you, too. You just have the greatest personality, a gorgeous smile, and a wonderful spirit ~ you have it all! I love you so very much, baby ~ I just ache for you ~ this hurts so much ~ I’m trying ~ you know, I am, but I just don’t know how much longer I can stand this much pain ~ I miss my little girl. I miss the dreams I had for you. I miss your big hugs. I’m sorry, Morgan. I love you baby girl, and I miss you so very much!

Date:: February 08, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a great day! Well Clayton is still coughing, if he is not better in the morning, then I will call TCA for an appointment. Zeke had the day off from school, and we had planned to do something together ~ just the two of us. He was very understanding when I told him that I would have to keep Clayton home today ~ he was just worried about Clayton’s awful cough. In fact, Zeke kept referring to Clayton as “the poor little guy.” I was doing some laundry this afternoon. I pulled the clothes out of the washer to put in the dryer, when I realized that someone had left a piece of paper in his pocket (DADDY!). Of course, the paper was now in ten separate pieces that I had to remove from the inside of the washer. One piece was stuck at the bottom ~ almost stuck into the base of the spinning thing. I pulled on it, and out popped a ring. It looks like a child’s ring. It has some sheer fabric on the top that is spiraled around to make it look like a little pink flower. I asked Zeke if it was his, or if he had bought it for you (he was always buying you jewelry), and he said that he had never seen it. I asked Clayton if someone at school had given it to him, and he said, “No, it’s Morgan’s.” I knew that I had never laid eyes on it before, and it could not have been yours or I would have seen it. I even called Daddy at work to ask him if it was his (or if he had found it, or knew what I was talking about). Of course, he had no idea. He did say that it may have been one of our nieces that was here in December, so maybe it is. But if it isn’t, and I can’t explain it ~ I’m just going to think that it is something from you. Thank you so much for always being there when we need you ~ you are such a thoughtful and precious child ~ I don’t know how I am going to go on without you, Sweetie. You are my best girl ~ I love you and miss you so very much.

Date:: February 07, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a great day, today. Zeke seems to be over his “bug.” Clayton was not feeling a “little much better” this morning until 9:00am, and he suddenly felt “much much better,” (I think he just wanted to go to school.) Unfortunately, Erinne is not feeling well. She has a double ear infection, and she had a fever last night. Hopefully this will stay away from her lungs. If you could keep an eye on her, I would be very happy. I miss you so much Morgan ~ I wish that I could hold you, sleep next to you and listen to you breathe. Listen to your funny jokes, your sweet voice, the songs you would sing. My life will never be the same. Everything in my world happened before or after December 3rd. And everything before December 3rd was good ~ it was all good. But, I knew it was all good ~ I knew that when you were here, I just really thought it was going to last so much longer, baby girl! I love you and miss you so very much...

Date:: February 06, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan, baby! I hope that you have had a great day today! Zekie is back in school feeling all better, and Clayton is feeling, “a little much better.” He really wants to go to school tomorrow. You always wanted to get back to your schoolwork, too. I don’t know if you would have liked going to school that wasn’t at home ~ you loved to be at home. I remember no matter where we were (unless it was Sissy and Grand Daddy’s or Aunt Debbie’s and Uncle Billy’s) ~ shopping, a doctor’s appointment, anywhere ~ you would always say, “Let’s go home now.” This was your home, and you knew everything about our house. One day this past fall, I asked Zeke for some cotton balls, and he looked at me and said, “Cotton balls?” like he had no idea where they might be. You looked at him and said, “They are in the bathroom under the sink.” I was in shock ~ it’s not like you were crawling around and into everything. I just had no idea how you knew 1.) what cotton balls were or 2.) where we kept them. But you were exactly right. I can’t even begin to imagine all the things that you have filed away in that brilliant little mind of yours ~ but you always amaze me. Thank you, sweetie, for being you. I love you and miss you so very much, Morgan. XOXO

Date:: February 05, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a great day, baby girl! Last night, I laid in bed just thinking about you ~ it was nine weeks yesterday ~ and it was two months since I last held you. I try not think too much about that last day, but it is so hard to do. How could I have known how quickly things were about to change? It was such a beautiful morning. Thank you for that and every morning you helped to make even brighter and better. Well, I think that Zekie is on the road to recovery ~ he seems much better today. Clayton seems much worse, though. He is really coughing a lot now. I was thinking about when he was sick last March. I was so worried that you were going to catch his cold. I purelled my hands, I changed my clothes, and wore a face mask each time I touched him, so that I would not bring the germs back to you. But, you ended up catching it anyway. Maybe I should have done things differently, but by the end of that cold, I knew that we could take care of your respiratory issues. I’m thankful that there aren’t any colds in Heaven, and that you will not have to go to the hospital, but to be honest, I’d rather spend ten days in the hospital with you, then be here for a second without you. I love you and miss you so very much, sweetie bird!

Date:: February 04, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan, baby! I hope that you have had a great day in Heaven. Your brothers are now both sick ~ and the worst part is that I think they have different viruses. Zeke has a “tummy bug,” and Clayton has a runny nose, and fever. Now, I guess they will exchange bugs ~ they like to keep me on my toes. Today I cleaned out my vanity ~ I knew it would be difficult, so I had avoided doing it. It was actually pretty nice ~ I thought about you a lot, but I remembered all the fun things that we did up there. I found MORE scrunchies, some of your soft curlers, and the makeup that you always wanted me to put on you. Daddy thought it was so funny when you would say, “Mommy, I need eyeshadow!” and then you would close your eyes, or when you would say that you needed lipstick, and pucker up! He would look at me and say, “How does she know this stuff??” You just did. I remember how you just loved to watch me put makeup on ~ for about five minutes ~ then it was your turn! I can almost see your little thin eyelids closed waiting for the eyeshadow ~ you are just so beautiful ~ you never did and never would have needed makeup. I love you and miss you so very much, my beautiful baby!

Date:: February 03, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you had a great day, today, especially playing with me this morning! Id like to thank you for making cleaning the floors in the kitchen and laundry room fun! You know that I have cleaned the floors twice since my bracelet broke (01/14/06) in the dryer ~ this bracelet, that I had worn for over a year, broke the same night I kept spilling the beads on yours. I was able to put it back together, and I had thought that I had found all of the beads ~ purple, clear, and pearl-like. So today, I started mopping in the laundry room, and as I was putting the mop down on the floor, I saw a pearl bead! As soon as it registered in my mind what is was, I raised the mop to find the bead. It was no where! I looked all over the floor, all over the mop, and could not find it. Okay ~ so I must have just imagined it ~ in the exact same location that the bracelet had broken! I put the mop back down, and pulled it toward me, but I heard a scratching noise across the floor ~ The BEAD! I thought. I picked up the mop, and out popped a purple bead... Okay, again I looked all over the floor (under the dryer) still no pearl. But I did find a clear bead! Morgan!! What do you know about all this, you silly girl?? I started laughing at loud ~ it was just so funny, and just like you to make something as ordinary as mopping the floor so much fun! I continued to mop the floor, and several times, I heard that scratching noise, but I never did find that pearl ~ maybe another day, and I will love it just as much as I did today! Thank you so much! Today Aunt Debbie and Uncle Billy came back from their ski trip, and they brought us a beautiful purple and white stained glass angel that says, ”Morgan,” on a little silver heart. We love it, it is perfect! Morgan, baby ~ I love you and miss you so much!

Date:: February 02, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan, baby! I hope that you have had a great day today! Today is Groundhogs Day ~ Happy Groundhogs Day, sweetie! I love you! Today I worked on the sponsorship letters for SMArgaritaville ~ I never wanted to do any thing in memory of you, only in honor of you, so this is very difficult, but it keeps me distracted. Most people say that (grief) pain comes and goes like “waves.” It does. I try to stay busy, but when there is a lull ~ a “wave” will just crash down on me ~ sometimes I don’t even see it coming. When the big waves hit, I don’t even feel like coming to the surface, I just wish that the ocean would swallow me ~ but, why shouldn’t it feel like that? You are the most perfect little angel, and the beautiful, smart, funny daughter that I have dreamed of since I was a little girl. Then the “wave” will pass ~ it still hurts, and I still miss you, but I know that you would be very sad to see me sad. I know that if you could, you would give me one of those special Morgan smiles, and a “big hug.” That really does help keep me going. Do you remember when Zeke recorded you saying, “Mommy, I love you!” ~ he knew I couldn’t resist that sweet little voice, so every time he wanted to ask me something that I was potentially going to say, “No” to, he would play that before he asked (just to soften me up). He is so silly! I know that you have a lot of work to do up there in Heaven, but if you could watch over our friend (and teacher) Mrs. M and her husband over the next weeks, I know they would appreciate it, and so would I. Thank you, Morgan for being you, for making my life so wonderful, for teaching me so very much in three short years ~ it’s hard to believe it took me seven years to get through college, especially when you taught me so much more in half the time. I love you and miss you so much, baby girl!

Date:: February 01, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope you have had a good day today! Today I was folding laundry, and I was thinking how much I miss not having my five piles of laundry ~ It's amazing ~ I want more laundry! I was folding the whites, and I looked at the pile of white clothes on the floor, and I saw something that just about took my breath away. It was a shirt, that looked just like one of the seamless undershirts that you wore under your TLSO or Benik. Instead it was one of Zeke’s t-shirts, but that second that I thought it was yours, I was so happy ~ happy to be doing your laundry, again. I was thinking about the day that Clayton was talking on the phone (to Sissy or Daddy), and you were telling me whose clothes I was folding and then Clayton said to the person he was talking to, “Morgan is naming the laundry” ~ remember I would always hold up the clothes and ask you, “Whose is this?” I was always amazed that you knew exactly whose clothes were whose. You are just so very smart, my sweet girl! I love you, and miss you so much, baby.

Date:: January 31, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan, baby! I hope that you have had a good day today! Today, Clayton fell while trying to climb up our bookshelves, and he cried. He’s okay ~ I know that you’re probably worried that he cried, because he never cries. He did tell me about twenty minutes after it happened, that his left side was hurting, so I called our doctors to see if I should take him for an x-ray. Although, with all the milk he drinks, I think he would have had to fallen off the roof the break something. Luckily, they were able to work us in to see Dr. Stephens. They are in their new offices, and I have only been there once before ~ with you, in November. I walked right in today ~ it was strange ~ I didn’t run in (opening the doors with my antibacterial wipes), sign in (with my own pen), then go back to the car (for a quick purelling) and wait for them to call on the cell phone (or as you would say “cellaphone”). I sat down in the waiting room ~ not worried (okay, not worried much) about all the germs in the waiting area. I saw and talked to some of the ladies up front, that have been there for us since you were diagnosed. They are and were amazing ~ they jumped through hoops to get your equipment, and Synagis approved. I know that you were never thrilled to be there, but it was really nice to know how much they care about you. When Clayton and I went into the exam room, I saw the steps to the table, and I remembered how you sat on those steps when we were there. Then I remembered you playing “I spy” while we waited for Dr. Mink. You were so good at “I spy” ~ I loved the way you would say, “Hmmm ~ I spy something RED!” and if I didn’t immediately guess it, you would look directly at the object. Then you would say, “Okay, Mommy, it’s your turn.” In November, Daddy was with us, and you kept skipping him ~ just like you did when we were there with Zeke. It was always just you and me! You made me feel so special, those boys you just made crazy (but in a good way)! I am so thankful that we had the best pediatric group (the doctors, the lab, the admin staff, and the nurses) ~ your life was so much better because of them. I think that we would have had to hospitalize you in October, when you were sick, if we did not have all the equipment that we needed to take care of you here ~ and we had all the equipment because of them. I know you didn’t like the hospital (I remember in the PICU, after a treatment, you said, “Mommy, let’s go home now.”), so I’m glad you didn’t have to go back for another stay. You are always on my mind, sometimes it is hard for me to put into words how I am feeling, but tonight was (apparently) not one of those times. I love you so so much, baby girl! I wish I could kiss your little nose after saying that to you ~ I miss you so much.

Date:: January 30, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a wonderful day. Today Clayton and I went shopping, and he did not want to ride in the cart ~ he kept telling me, “I’ll be fine, if you let me walk.” Of course, we know Clayton, and we know that he would have not been fine ~ he would have been...GONE! Once he realized that I was not going to let him down, he started playing YOUR game! “Aaaahh! We're gonna crash!” Thanks (I'm smiling, Morgan) for teaching him that one ~ everybody kept looking at me like they were afraid I was going to hit their cart. He also picked out three Lego toys for you ~ they were little Lego castles, houses, and people ~ I know that you would love them! Valentine’s Day is coming up, and I know that it is one of your favorite holidays, so today I bought some Valentines flowers for you, and put them in our boxes on the front porch. I wanted to buy you a wooden heart to paint, or some of the Valentine ribbon to put in your hair ~ but I settled on the flowers. Thank you for visiting me in my dream last night ~ I feel so lucky to get these presents from you, my precious girl! I love you so, so much, and miss you every second of every day.

Date:: January 29, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a good day. Today you would have been three years and three months old, here on Earth ~ I hope you celebrated! Today I was thinking about your personality, and how close you and I were ~ you always knew when I needed to hear you say, “Hi, Mommy!” or “We are best girls!” or “Play with me, Mommy!” I regret every time I did not play with you when you wanted me to ~ not that it happened all that often, but even one missed opportunity weighs heavy on my mind, and heart. I wanted you to grow up and be a secure and independent woman ~ I had no idea my time with you would be so short, or I would have played with you every minute of everyday ~ I think that you already knew that, but I have to tell you. Thank you for being such a wonderful and remarkable person. Here I was the mother ~ the person who was supposed to guide you, and teach you, and yet you actually ended up guiding and teaching me more than I could have ever learned anywhere else. I love you, Morgan ~ and I miss you so very, very much.

Date:: January 28, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan, my little sweetie bird! I hope that you have had a good day today! Clayton and I slept in until 9:00 this morning, and we woke up, the first thing he said was, “We have to take Morgan to the little kids hospital, because they can fix the little kids.” I think that he must have had a dream about you. He is always thinking about you. Zeke does, too. Today his report card came in the mail ~ and (you are going to be so PROUD of him) he made HONORS. I know that you are probably going, “Yeah!! Zeke!” with a great big smile on your face! You have always been the best little cheerleader for your brothers. He said, “I’ve never made Honors, before.” Then we thought about it, and he said, “Maybe a little angel was helping me.” Maybe, maybe not. I know that he has worked pretty hard to catch up, and he has some of the best teachers in the world. I think that you would have liked them ~ I already know that you loved school, but having the right teacher makes the biggest difference. You never had a chance to get to really get to know your teacher (after the first assessment), Miss Ellen, but I have talked to her, and I know that you would have loved her. Thank you for being such a wonderful sister ~ they know how lucky they are. We miss you so much, baby girl, and love you more and more each day.

Date:: January 27, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a wonderful day, and a lot of fun (especially this morning)! Today, I had planned to pay our monthly bills, and balance our checkbook. First, I went through our bills to see if anything looked strange. I was looking at our cell phone bill found a charge for wireless data on December 18 at 3:49pm. The charge was $.02 ~ not a big deal or anything, but it was about 24 hours I received that strange message (“I neeede uuu tuuu”) on my cell phone. I called Ntelos to see if they could tell me the origin of the charge, and the woman I talked to said she had no idea. She thought that it could be and internet charge, but she had never seen a charge that low for any internet services. So, no explanation there... Now, you know that I am obsessed with balancing our checking account, and every (EVERY) month I always balance to the penny. Well, today I went to balance and I was off ~ for the first time in over five years. I worked on it for an hour and a half, and still could not find my discrepancy. Do you want to guess how much I was off?? 2 cents! So, first the phone bill, then the checking account ~ and both 2 cents. I don’t know if it was you ~ but if it was I really appreciate your 2 cents, you silly girl! Oh ~ I love you so much, and miss you more and more everyday ~ thank you for sending me signs that you can still play with me and have fun with me ~ even if it makes me crazy ~ although, knowing you, I bet that is your favorite kind of fun! The kind that makes me crazy ~ I can just see you laughing and giggling so hard watching me looking for that 2 cents! You are so funny and cute and sweet! I love you, Mo-mo!

Date:: January 26, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a good day today! Last night, I had a dream about you ~ I don’t remember much except that Daddy was carrying you through a doorway, and people were walking by, but he held the door open for them while holding you, and he had the biggest smile I have ever seen on his face. I woke up right away ~ you were so close ~ and I wanted to hold you, too. I wanted to be as happy as Daddy was, but I woke up and weren’t here. I did love seeing you in my dream though. Your big brothers have been thinking about and missing you like crazy today, too. Clayton has apparently been thinking about you a lot. He has not really said much, but I think that he is a lot like Daddy. He has been thinking about the problem: you are in Heaven. He has also been trying to think of a way to fix the problem: to bring you back. Daddy does that, too ~ he always wants to fix problems. I hope you know how much we love you and miss you sweetie bird! XOXOXO

Date:: January 25, 2006

Today

Hi baby girl! I hope that you had a good day today. Thank you for helping Suzanne ~ she was released from the hospital this afternoon, just in time to take Erinne back to another hospital tonight for a sleep study. Hopefully, this will give the doctors some more information about what is going on with Erinne right now. She had a hard night last night, being without her mommy. I know that you are watching over her though. Aunt Debbie, Daddy, Leigh (from FightSMA headquarters in Richmond) and I went to Geico today for their volunteer fair. It was a wonderful event, and the employees there are so giving and generous with their time and energy. It was so nice of Jack to help us spread the word about SMA, and it was just great to be able to talk about you, and how wonderful you are. I watched the FightSMA DVD they made with you, and I just love it ~ I love the way that you wanted to give me a “big hug” at the end of the video. Your voice sounded so sweet, so familiar ~ another bittersweet moment. You sounded just so close ~ and so far. I miss you so much. How did you get to be such a special little girl? Thank you so much for letting me be your mommy ~ I love you so much, my baby!

Date:: January 24, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you had a good day today! Tonight, Suzanne (your godmother) was admitted to the hospital with chest pains. If there are any strings you can pull up there to get her out (and better), please do ~ Erinne really needs her mommy to be home with her. Today, I picked Zeke up from school early, because he wasn’t feeling well ~ I think that he and I have finally caught what Clayton and Daddy had last week ~ they seem much better now, so hopefully this will pass quickly. Tomorrow, we ~ Aunt Debbie and I ~ are going to a Volunteer Fair at GEICO. Our next door neighbor and friend, Jack was able to provide us this great opportunity to raise awareness of SMA. I really just wish that you were here to show everyone how smart, happy, and beautiful you are ~ SMA and all, just PERFECT! I miss you and love you SOOO SOOO much, baby doll!

Date:: January 23, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a good day! Today Clayton and I saw Judy ~ it was great to see her, but I would have rather that she had been here to give you a workout. And... Sissy and Grand Daddy are home! We saw Sissy tonight ~ she slept in very late (until 2:00pm) I guess her internal clock has not caught up yet, but knowing Sissy it will be by tomorrow ~ she is amazing! When she came over tonight, I thought about how excited you always were to see Sissy, everyday ~ your eyes would light up, and smile would appear across your face as soon as you heard the door open ~ so I know that you would have been thrilled to see her after three weeks. And she would have been thrilled to see you, too ~ to hold you and get your hugs and kisses. She would have told you and Zeke all about her trip, and you both would have listened to every word ~ and asked questions. I’m sure that you would have picked up the term “Tasmanian Devil,” because you love BIG words, and because it would have made Clayton crazy if you had called him that. Clayton was kind of listening ~ apparently he had a lot of "work" (everything he does on the computer is work) to do on the computer, because he kept disappearing from the den. I hope you know that you are in my thoughts, and my heart every second of every day. I love you so very much, and miss you more than I thought possible, sweet precious baby...

Date:: January 22, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you had a great day today! Sissy is coming home later tonight. We have all missed her and Grand Daddy. I talked to her a little while ago, and she said that she missed me. I know exactly how she feels...I miss my daughter, too. I just wish I knew when I could see you again. Seven weeks! I just can’t believe it! I still expect to see you when I look around the corner into the den. Tonight, I was walking through the laundry room to the bathroom ~ and I had to stop, and do a double take. I caught out of the corner of my eye a towel hanging in the laundry room that looked like one of your sweaters that I would hang to dry. You are everywhere ~ in every thought I have, in everything I see. I have stopped picking up your hair scrunchies around the house, because as hard as it is for me to run across them, I am even more afraid of the day that I won’t. So, I leave them there ~ to keep you right there ~ someplace that I know I can be a little closer to you. You are my best girl ~ forever ~ I love you so very, very much. XOXOXO

Date:: January 21, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a nice day. Clayton is still not feeling well, and today he laid down upstairs in our room watching DVD’s. Most of the ones he was watching today are ones that he has not seen since you have been gone. He keeps saying how much he misses you ~ so he is sick and depressed. It is heartbreaking. Do you remember how Daddy set up the TV’s for you and Clayton to watch the same DVD, when you two were sick in October? He had the little player set up right next to you, and then he hooked up the bigger TV to it, so that Clayton could see, too. I know that you loved being together when you were sick ~ I think that Zeke was jealous that you two were sick together. I do remember, though that everyday when Zeke came home from school he ran right upstairs to see you, and see how you were feeling ~ now that I think about ~ Sissy did, too. We all love you so much, baby girl ~ I miss you more and more everyday...

Date:: January 20, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan, baby! I hope that you have had a good day, today. Clayton has been in school for just three days, and he already has a cold. I was thinking about the three colds that he has had in the past year ~ before this one. The first one was in March ~ we tried so hard to keep you and Clayton apart, and after five days I really didn't think that you were going to get it ~ but then you did, and it was awful! That was when you stayed at CHKD for the first time. Daddy and I learned so much about how to take care of you when you were sick, so we didn’t think that we would have to go back. The second cold, was the one he caught in the beginning of June ~ I kept you in the living room, and Clayton in the den. Each time I would go from you to him, or him to you ~ I would put on a new mask, use the Purell, the gloves, and put on a drape. But you still caught it. It was not a very bad cold, and you really recovered fast. The last one was in the end of September ~ it was an awful cold ~ maybe worse than the one you had in March. Daddy and I did the "hospital protocol" that we had learned (treatments every four hours), and we were able to keep you home the whole time ~ it felt so good to know that we did not have to take you to the hospital, and that you could get better at home ~ where you wanted to be. In late October, Daddy had to go out of town for work. He was gone for three nights. The first two nights, I took a little nap with you, and made sure that I was awake before Zeke went to sleep. The last night, (I had only had 2 or 3 hours of sleep in two days) I was exhausted, but I was afraid to go to sleep, because I didn't think that I would hear your alarms if they went off. Daddy was worried about us ~ so he had a brilliant idea. He had me call him at the hotel on my cell phone with the speaker phone on, then he turned his speaker phone on ~ so he could hear everything. You wanted to roll over after a few hours, and you called him, “Daddy!” and he said to you, “Hold on Morgan. Mommy will be right there.” (Of course I was dead asleep right beside you ~ but you ALWAYS called Daddy). He called our house on the land line, and it woke me up, and I rolled you over. It was very neat that he could talk to you instantly the second you needed him when he was over 300 miles away. He is a pretty smart guy! It was strange today ~ not to be worried about Clayton’s cold, not to have the fear that this could be a hospitalization or pneumonia for you ~ I’d rather worry about it than be where we are ~ in a place where we don’t have to worry anymore. I love you so much, and I miss you ~ your smile, your voice, your everything, my sweet girl...

Date:: January 19, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a great day today! Today I was rubbing Clayton’s hair, and I noticed how different it felt from yours. His hair feels much more coarse than yours ~ although he still has that soft baby hair ~ it is just not nearly as soft as yours was. I remember putting my hand behind your head and feeling that long silky hair run through my fingers ~ I remember brushing the underside of the back of your hair while you were laying down before bed every night ~ I miss it so much. Oh, Morgan ~ I don’t know what to say or do anymore. Everything was so clear to me when you were here. Now... now, I feel just awful. I need one of your “Big Hugs!” Sweetie... Please know how very much I love you, and how much we all miss you...

Date:: January 18, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~ Morgan! I hope that you have had a great day today, baby girl! Clayton went back to school today ~ he is in the same class, so that is nice, and I’m sure easier for him. I stayed there for a little while, after I dropped him off. I ran into our friend, Dana and talked to her for a while. She is so nice. While we were talking, Ms. Katie told me that Clayton’s class would be coming for music in a few minutes. Dana asked me if I needed to “hide” so that Clayton would not see me ~ I said, “No. Clayton will not get upset at all if he sees me. Zeke and Morgan would, but not Clayton.” In fact, Zeke still might. So, Clayton’s class walked by, and he looked me right in the eye, turned his head away really fast, and raised his fingers a little (I’m taking that as a wave ~ I know I’m grasping here). Then I came home ~ oh, it is just so very quiet. Oh Morgan, I see you everywhere, and find myself listening for you, looking for you, even expecting to see you. I miss you so much, the pain is so deep, I feel like it could just swallow me, and sometimes I just want it to. I hope that you are happy ~ that is all that I ever wanted for you. I love you and miss you so much baby...

Date:: January 17, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a good day. Today, we decided that it would be good for Clayton to start preschool again. It is very hard for him to be here alone with me all day without his best friend here. I think that it will be good for him, but it will probably be very hard for me. Clayton has been very good lately (picking up his toys without an argument, going potty on time ~ not five minutes too late). Today, I was thinking that if you were here, you would be so proud of him ~ I remember when we were potty training him (after you were pretty much trained) you were always so encouraging. You were like his own personal little cheerleader ~ I know that it really meant a lot to him. He loved to hear you say, “Yeeeaaaahhhh! Tayton!” So did I. You are just the sweetest little girl... We love you and miss you so very much, precious baby girl.

Date:: January 16, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a good day! Today was a holiday, Martin Luther King Day. Do you remember what we did last year? We made tie-dye shirts! We had so much fun ~ you and Daddy worked on yours, and his together. I remember you wanted a lot of green on yours. You and Daddy made yours with diagonal stripes, and Daddy’s looked like a bulls eye! We were having so much fun that we forgot it was Monday, and that Judy was coming for physical therapy ~ but Judy (patiently) waited for you to finish up, and clean up. You really loved that shirt you made ~ and you were so proud of it ~ you would say, “I made it myself!” I think Daddy really loved it, too, because almost every time he would get you dressed after your bath, he would put that on you. You sure did look gorgeous in it ~ and I can tell you, not everyone can wear tie-dye and look good. We love you sweet girl, and miss you so much!

Date:: January 15, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a good day! Did you see the snow we had here? If you did you must have been up early ~ because it disappeared quickly. This has been a difficult weekend ~ I miss you so much ~ it is overwhelming. I try to stay busy, because when I start thinking about you, it hurts so very much to know that you aren’t here with us. Last night, I laid down in bed around midnight ~ that is when my mind starts going into overdrive ~ my heart starts pounding so hard it shakes the mattress ~ and I just can’t sleep. I couldn’t stop thinking about you, the things you said, the things you did, your sweet personality ~ Oh! It is just not fair! It is not right! When you were diagnosed with SMA, I never asked ~ Why? I immediately knew that it would be okay ~ that we would do everything to monitor you, keep you healthy, and try to keep your life as normal as possible. I knew that I would devote my life to you, and keeping you here, and happy... So, what happened?? Now, I want to know WHY? I would have done anything for you, Morgan, and I never would have thought twice about it. I just wanted you to grow up and be the special person I know you were going to be ~ you have so much to offer the world. Some people think that I'm strong, but I’m not ~ you gave me strength ~ all I ever had to do was look into your beautiful eyes, or see that breath taking smile and I was recharged ~ I need you ~ I need you so much. I’m sorry that this letter is so down, baby girl ~ I really do try to be positive, but I just miss you so very much. I do want to tell you one thing that happened last night as I laid there in bed wide awake. Around 3:45am, Clayton (who is still sleeping in our room) made a noise ~ it wasn’t a Clayton noise ~ not grunt, or a snore. It was a Morgan noise (and I have never heard him make a noise like that before) ~ it was a sigh ~ a high pitched “hmmm.” It was a sound that you made every night when you were sleeping ~ you always sounded so content, and totally at peace. I loved to hear that sound ~ and I have missed it. After he made the sound ~ that almost made me jump out of bed ~ I was remembering that being your sound, and he did it two more times! I hope that you sent that sound ~ it made me feel so good to hear it, and I was able to fall alseep soon after I heard it ~ thank you, sweet girl! We love you, and miss you so much, baby girl!

Date:: January 14, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a great day! I miss you so very much. How can it be possible that you have been gone for six weeks? It seems like you were just here, and it seems that you have been gone for so much longer... Tonight Daddy, Aunt Debbie, and I were looking at your ultrasound pictures ~ there is one that is a perfect print of your adorable little foot, another of you that looks like you are showing off your left arm bicep, and another that really shows your profile with your beautiful little turned up nose. I just couldn’t wait to meet you ~ and you are everything ~ and so much more ~ than I could have ever dreamed for in a daughter. Thank you so much for being my little girl ~ I love you and miss you so very much, baby girl...

Date:: January 13, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a good day! Tonight Sissy called from Tasmania ~ she said she was going to see the Tasmanian Devil this afternoon there ~ No, Morgan ~ Clayton is still here in the US. She wanted to tell me that she has been thinking about you ~ all the time. I know how she feels, I do, too. Aunt Debbie and I have started planning SMArgarittaville. We are planning on having Jimmy Buffet music (I know, you love Jimmy Buffet!), and “luau-type” food. We hope that it will be fun, and raise a lot of money for research. SMA has to be stopped. I know that you were a little overwhelmed last year, but I think that you would have loved it this year ~ especially because you knew so many of the songs we are going to play. I miss you so very much ~ I just ache... I love you so much, baby girl

Date:: January 12, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~ Morgan! I hope you have had a great day! I forgot to tell you about this yesterday, but you are really going to love this story! Zeke had a Spanish project due yesterday. He had to name five body parts, five colors, and five articles of clothing. So, he went upstairs to your room, and pulled out your Polly Pockets House of Style (I put it upstairs, because I did not want Clayton to destroy it ~ and since it was your favorite, it is very special to me). He ended up taking your magnetic Polly Pocket to school, and pulled it out in Spanish, and said “This is my sister’s Polly Pocket doll.” He is very proud of you, and misses you so much (you know he must, if a 12 year old is taking a Polly Pocket to school). I bet you are probably laughing right now just thinking about it ~ I hope so, you sweet, happy girl! We love you and miss you so, so, SO much, precious girl!

Date:: January 11, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope you had a wonderful day! I have been trying to get Clayton to go back to our home preschool ~ I think the only reason he went when you were here with us, is because you always made it seem like you were having such a good time, and he didn’t want to miss it. Today though, he was finally ready! We read a Russian folktale called “The Little Snow Girl.” (This will teach me to read the story BEFORE I go over it with him.) It was about a man and his wife, that did not have any children, but wanted a child (kind of like the little gingerbread man). So, one day they built a little snow girl ~ of course, the next day she came to life, with beautiful long blond hair, and they were very happy. Clayton said, “My little sister, Morgan has blond hair.” I said, “Yes, Clayton, she does.” He said, “Maybe we could build a snow girl.” then he thought, “But, it’s not snowing.” I said, “No, it isn’t.” (and it doesn’t look too good for snow ~ today it was 67 degrees). Then he thought some more, and said, “My sister Morgan isn’t a baby, she’s a girl, and she is three years old.” Then he said, “Maybe we can built a snow girl the next time it snows.” He really misses you so much ~ we all do. His world is so different without you here ~ you are his best friend. I just wanted to let you know how much he thinks about you ~ in everything he does. We love you and miss you so much, Morgan ~ sweet baby!

Date:: January 10, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan, baby! I hope you had a great day! I miss you so much, baby girl. I want to hold you, I want to hug you and kiss you. I love you so much. I forgot to tell you something yesterday. One of Zeke’s teachers (that was also one of mine ~ but oddly enough, she looks younger than me), sent me a beautiful silver keepsake box. It is in the shape of a heart ~ your favorite! The top part of the box comes off, and your silver bracelet fits inside ~ perfectly. When you take the top off, you have two hearts, and they fit together to make one. You would love it ~ it very shiny, and pretty! I love you and miss you so much, precious girl!

Date:: January 09, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a wonderful day! I miss you so much my sweet girl! We all do. Today Clayton was on the potty, and it “ran” (the ONLY time it did that today), and he looked at me and said, “Mommy, did you flush this potty?” I said, “No.” Then he said, “Invisible Morgan!” I’m still not sure that it was you, but I do think that it was very funny that it happened while he was on it! You are always so much fun! We love you and miss you so very much, baby girl!

Date:: January 08, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you had a beautiful day! Sissy has been in New Zealand for a week now, and I hope that you are staying close to her. I know that she would love to share her vacation with you. I talked to Aunt Frances today. They were planning to come here while Sissy and Grand Daddy were gone, and fill in. They were really looking forward to spending time with you and Clayton this month. It was nice to talk to her, because she knows exactly how I am feeling ~ she lost her son (my cousin) Adam, when he was 19, and then they lost, Gabe, five years later, when he was just 19. I hope that you have been able to spend some time with them in Heaven. Adam probably just loves you, and has a ball with your name, “Hello Morgan. Can you play the organ?” He loved to rhyme. You and Gabe probably are doing Colgate commercials, because I remember that he (like you) had one of the biggest, and brightest smiles I have ever seen. I miss your smile, sweetie ~ but I’ll never forget it. It is something that is so deeply etched in my mind, I just couldn’t. I hope that you are happy, and that tomorrow is another beautiful day for you, baby. I love you and miss you so much, baby girl! XOXO

Date:: January 07, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a beautiful day. Today (after having a breakdown) I went to your room. I again laid down on her bed with the fan on. I was thinking about how much you loved the fan to be on. I think that you were just a little bit over a year old when you really noticed the fan, and from then on the fan had to be on every night. I was always afraid that you would get too cold, but Daddy always told me that you were like him, and liked it cooler. I think that as you got older, you picked up on some of my thoughts about being cold, because you had started wanting us to turn the fan off when you were still wet and in your towel after your bath. As soon as you were dressed though, you wanted that fan back on. I guess he was right, because you loved to have that fan on. You are so adorable, and I love the way you always knew exactly what you wanted. I love you so much, baby girl! Big Hugs!

Date:: January 06, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a great day. I wanted to tell you that Zeke’s shower radio has been having some interesting problems for the past few days. He said that it started shutting off every two seconds while he was in the shower listening to a song he liked. He figured that the batteries were going dead, but he really wanted to hear that song, so he kept turning it back on. Once the first song ended, another song (that he did not really care about) came on. He thought that the radio would just cut off again like it been all throughout the first song ~ but it didn’t. It stayed on the entire song. It must have been around this time, that I heard Zeke shout, “Morgan!” I wasn’t sure if he was having a breakdown or what, so I just listened. He did not yell her name again, and I was beginning to think that I had just imagined it, but he came out of the shower and told me the whole radio story. We hope it was you ~ Funny Girl! I went into your room tonight, turned on your light and ceiling fan, and I laid down on your bed. I just laid there thinking ~ about you, about where you are, and what you are doing. I have been reading about Heaven. From what I understand, there is peace and harmony. There is no sickness. There is no sadness. I worry so much about you, and whether or not you are happy. I loved my cell phone when you were here, because I could go to the grocery store, and call home to check on you, or talk to you. I wish there was a way that I could check on you now ~ of course, I’d probably call everyday (several times a day) ~ but I really wish there was a way. I hope that the strange things that happen around here (lights flickering, monitors going off, Zeke’s radio going off, etc.) are all signs that you are happy, and having a good time playing with us. We love you and miss you so much, baby girl!

Date:: January 05, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had another beautiful day. We all miss you so much. Zeke has been carrying one of your beanie babies in his pocket (the little pink bunny rabbit that he bought you when you were in the hospital in March), and he only takes it out when he takes a shower. Well, last night, he thought he had lost it. We searched high and low, and finally found it. He was in a panic ~ it makes him feel closer to you when he has it with him. I’m glad that he has been able to find something that comforts him. Clayton misses you so much, too. Our downstairs toilet has been “running” on and off for a couple of weeks now ~ it is strange because it doesn’t do it every day ~ maybe two days a week. Every time Clayton hears it, though, he tells me, “Invisible Morgan just went potty.” or he will say to you “Morgan, stop playing with the toilet (sounds like toy-let, when he says it ).” I forgot to tell you that a few days ago, Clayton and I were talking about Heaven, and he asked me, “How did Morgan get to Heaven, way, way up in the sky?” I said that I thought that God had reached his hand down from Heaven, and picked you up, and carried you very gently back to Heaven. He kind of looked at me funny, and then he said, “Oh. I was hoping she’d rided a jet!” I told him that I really didn't know how the transportation worked to get to Heaven, so it is possible that you did in fact ride in a jet. He seemed much happier with that answer. I know that you know how much all of your aunts, uncles, cousins, and grandparents miss you, too. And of course, Daddy and I miss you so very much. We think about the things you would say, or do, and we laugh or cry (sometimes both). I hope that you are happy, like you always were here ~ I hope that you are being taken care of, that you are not sad, or scared, and I hope that you can feel the love for you here on Earth all the way to Heaven. I love you and miss you so much, baby girl.

Date:: January 04, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! Thank you for helping Suzanne and Erinne today. They released Erinne late this afternoon, and she has a holter monitor so that the doctors can see what Suzanne is seeing on the pulse-ox at night. We don’t want what we think happened to you to happen to anyone else ~ EVER! I hope you have had a beautiful day! I want to thank you so much for starting our days together that way. Everyday was a beautiful day! Some days were stressful, some were fun, some were boring, some were exciting, but everyday was a beautiful day ~ just like you always said. I was so lucky to have you there to remind me of that each morning. That was always your message to us ~ we are all here, we are all together on this Earth, so how could it not be a beautiful day? I hope that your message can reach the people that don’t realize that through the stresses, the problems, the troubles ~ it can still be a beautiful day. The day that you were diagnosed with SMA (June 20, 2003) I made a decision: I would not shed a tear over SMA as long as you were here, and I never did when you were here. Yes, we had a lot of obstacles, and a lot to learn, but it was never unbearable (not even close) ~ as long as I could look into your eyes and know that you were counting on me & Daddy to do everything we could to make your life wonderful. Thank you so much, Morgan for making everyday with you the better than the last. You always made everything easy for us. We love you so much, sweetie bird, and miss you more and more each day. All my kisses, baby girl...

Date:: January 03, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope you have had a beautiful day! Today Clayton and I tried to go back to school ~ it was hard for him ~ he misses you so much! In all honesty, it was hard for me, too. It is so difficult not to hear you sing, “The Good Morning Song,” to not hear you say, “Good Morning, Mommy, and how are you today?” or “Good Morning, Tayton, and how are you today?” My favorite part was when you always reminded me to clap and cheer for you two when your part of the dialogue was done. “Clap your hands, Mommy!” “Say what smart children we are, Mommy!” You were the funniest, sweetest little girl I have ever known ~ thank you for being here with me ~ I just wish that it had been so much longer, baby girl. Tomorrow Erinne (http://www.our-sma-angels.com/ErinneRose has an appointment with the vent clinic. She has started to have some brady episodes, like you did. Her heart rate dropped pretty low over this past weekend, and they want to find out what is going on. I know that you are keeping busy trying to comfort Daddy, Clayton, Zeke, all of your aunts and uncles, cousins, grandparents, and me ~ but if you could help Erinne and Suzanne through this appointment, I’d really appreciate it, and so would they. I’m worried, but I feel good that they are actually going to try to figure out what exactly is going on. Thank you for being the wonderful, caring, and sensitive little girl that you have always been! I love you so much, my precious girl!

Date:: January 02, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a beautiful day today. Today I was thinking about all the wonderful, funny, and smart things you would always say. I laughed just thinking about those cute little things, then the next second, I was in tears knowing that I won’t hear them again out of your mouth. How can it be that you are not here? It just seems so wrong. You have so much to offer the world, you are so smart, and so happy. I want you to know that I was happy every minute I was with you, and I am so grateful that I had the opportunity to be your mommy ~ I just miss you so very much, Morgan, and I love you with all my heart.

Date:: January 01, 2006

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! Today we started the New Year off right ~ cleaning (Yuck!). Tonight I was ironing Clayton’s sheets (why? I have no idea!) and I was just thinking about you, and ironing your sheets, and pillowcases. The lights began to dim, and brighten ~ over and over again. I called Zeke to look over at the lights ~ and they stopped. He looked back at what he was doing, and it started again. I called him again, and he looked ~ NOTHING! We did this for about fifteen minutes, and finally he caught it. After Zeke saw it, the lights did not dim anymore. I don’t know if it was a sign from you or not, but I like to think it was ~ and it reminded me of your funny little sense of humor. I love you so very much, Morgan ~ you are always my best girl. Big Hugs!

Date:: January 01, 2006

Today

Happy New Year, Morgan~Morgan! I miss you so much. I wish I would just wake up from this terrible nightmare, and you would be here. But day after day I wake up, and you aren't here. I know that my life will never be the same ~ oh, Morgan ~ my heart hurts so much, I want to hold you, to dance with you, to be your mommy here on Earth again. This gets harder each day... I just miss you so much... I love you, baby girl

Date:: December 31, 2005

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! Happy New Year! I hope that there is a big party in Heaven tonight, and I hope you have a ball! Sissy and GrandDaddy are leaving tomorrow for three weeks, and we will miss them so much. I told Sissy to have a great time, and I hope you stay close to her, so that she can show you all the sights in New Zealand. Do you remember when we went to the Caymans with Sissy and GrandDaddy? Sissy just loved getting a hold of you ~ and sending me off to do something else. She was so funny, she just wanted to spend as much time as she could with you, and “fatten” you up! That was such a great trip, and you were so good. I remember when we were going through security in the Norfolk Airport, and the only one of us that they wanted to really search was ~ YOU! Daddy was carrying Clayton, and I had you in your car seat/carrier. They wanted me to open your diaper so they could check ~ for weapons, or explosives, or something. I was appalled that they would even think something like that. Luckily, our pediatrician, and friend Dr. Lisa was there, and she helped me get you out of the car seat, and checked out by security. She was also on our flight to Atlanta, and I was extremely comforted to know that we had one of the best pediatricians on the plane with us, especially since you were so young (less than 4 months old). You were a great little traveler ~ and I was so proud of you, and still am. I love you and miss you so much ~ I’m sending all my biggest hugs and kisses to you tonight, baby girl...

Date:: December 30, 2005

Today

HI Morgan~Morgan! We are back home now. I have been writing to you on notebook paper for the past few days, because I was not able to get online. I still miss you so very much. Today I was driving, and I just could not believe that you were gone, I knew that if I looked in the backseat you would be there ~ just smiling (or singing) away in your car seat. I just find it so hard to believe... We all miss you so very much. I hope that you are happy, comforted, and not scared of anything. I will be with you again, and we will have eternity together. I love you and miss you so much, baby girl!

Date:: December 29, 2005

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! Tonight we went to Kevin’s hockey game (Kevin is Suzanne’s son ,and Erinne’s older brother). It was very exciting, and I can see how it could become addictive. I sat next to Erinne, and she was so patient with me ~ she explained everything that was going on to me, and what the team needed to do ~ I even followed the game. I can see Erinne coaching the Red Wings in twenty (maybe less) years! I don’t know that you would like a live hockey game (too cold for you), but I think you might have liked watching it on television. Liz, (Erinne’s MDA camp counselor, and Suzanne’s right hand) joined us at the game. You met her in Virginia Beach (but would not talk to her). It was nice to see her again, and she told me that she had dedicated her senior project to you. Kevin’s team won the game, and we were all very excited! We went to Ruby Tuesdays for dessert. Clayton spent most of the time there trying to karate chop and torment poor Kevin! I know that if you had been there, you would have joined in on the fun with Clayton, and either poked Kevin or bombed him with french fries! I love you and miss you so much, baby girl!

Date:: December 28, 2005

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! Today we are at Grandma and Grandpa Saville’s house. Aunt Beth, Aunt Jamie, Uncle John, Uncle Rusty, Aunt Penny, cousins Sheila, Zoey, Rachel, Tobias, and Kathleen all came over this afternoon. In the evening, Aunt Jen came from WA, and Suzanne (your Godmother) came over, too. It was so nice to see them, and tell them all the clever and crazy things you liked to do. I wished that we had been back here more often in the past year, so they could have seen for themselves what you are like. You have just changed so much in the past year ~ you are funny, smart, sweet, and absolute joy to be around! I love you so much, Sweetie, and I am so thankful that I am your mother!

Date:: December 27, 2005

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! Today we were driving through the mountains in Pennsylvania, and I saw a huge snow covered mountain that had hundreds of trees also covered with snow, and ice, all the way down the mountain. It was beautiful! My first thought was how I would love to show you that mountain. Then I thought, you probably have a much better view than what I saw. I guess this is part of the “new normal” they talk about. Every happy, beautiful, or joyous moment I experience will always have a bit of sadness to it knowing that I can’t share these things with you. You never leave my thoughts, but it hurts so much more when I do things that I would love to be doing with you. I love you so much, baby girl!

Date:: December 26, 2005

Today

Dear Morgan~Morgan, I hope that you had a nice day today. We are in Pennsylvania, and tomorrow we are going to see Grandma, and Grandpa Saville. Today we went skiing, and as I was coming down the hill, I was thinking about whether or not you would like it. I decided that you probably would not, because it is so cold, and you just did not like to be cold. I think that you would like the tubing though ~ of course, we would dress you very warm, and even put an extra blanket on you (if you wanted it) ~ I can picture your face, and eyes so excited to be moving so fast. I hope that you have a chance to try tubing in Heaven. I know that you know you never leave my thoughts ~ I miss you so much, sweetie ~ I feel like I am missing a critical organ. I find it hard to breathe, eat, or sleep. I love you so much, my best girl!

Date:: December 25, 2005

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! Merry Christmas! I love you! I hope you had a wonderful day, and a great celebration. Grandma gave us a sculpture of Christ with a little girl ~ it is beautiful, and the little girl looked as if she was comforted holding onto Christ. I hope that you are smiling. We had a good morning ~ talking, remembering and thinking about you. We all miss you so very much. We miss your funny comments, your beautiful smile, your gratitude for everything, and your happiness that could fill our home. We picked out toys from the toys ads that we thought you would like, and the boys told me why they wanted you to have those things. We wanted you to have the Dora Talking Dollhouse ~ because you seemed very interested in that, especially with the swimming pool. Clayton also picked out a “Doodle Monster” (for himself) and a “Cuddle Doodle” for you. These are stuffed animals that you can write and draw on. He said that he would not even scare his sister with the “Doodle Monster” by drawing a spider on the its’ tongue. He is so silly! Zeke picked out a Barbie DVD, and a pink flower, and butterfly tent, flashlight and sleeping bag. We picked out some other things, too, and asked the angels to make sure that you had them ~ so I hope you enjoy them ~ we just wish that we could have seen your face. We love you, and miss you so very much, baby girl! Merry Christmas!

Date:: December 24, 2005

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a good day. I know that you must be getting very excited about Christmas ~ I hope that they are planning a HUGE party in Heaven to celebrate the birth of Jesus! I know how much you love parties ~ I can see you now with your princess crown, and a beautiful party dress! I bet it will be the most wonderful celebration, and you will have a ball! We miss you so very much here, and our Christmas will not be the same without you. It breaks my heart to think that I won’t be able to see the excitement in your bright eyes tomorrow morning after Santa Claus comes. I love you so very much my sweet little baby girl!

Date:: December 23, 2005

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you had a good day today. It seems like today was such a long day! I missed you so very much. I have not wanted to do any shopping this year, and everywhere I went I just saw things, heard songs, thought thoughts that just kept me focused on you ~ and how very far away from me you are. I heard a song from the movie Tarzan, and I really did not think that it was going to get to me, but it did ~ out of the blue. The song is “You’ll be in my heart”: Come stop your crying It will be all right Just take my hand Hold it tight I will protect you From all around you I will be here Don't you cry For one so small, You seem so strong My arms will hold you, Keep you safe and warm This bond between us Can't be broken I will be here Don't you cry 'Cause you'll be in my heart Yes, you'll be in my heart From this day on Now and forever more You'll be in my heart No matter what they sayYou'll be here in my heart, always Morgan I hope that you know how hard I tried to keep you safe and warm, to protect from colds, and the effects of SMA. You were so strong ~ especially for one so small ~ not just physically, but emotionally, too. I really thought that my love for you could keep you here ~ I wanted it to, and I still wish it had. I miss you so much, your smile, your voice, your hair, your smell... I love you, baby girl.

Date:: December 22, 2005

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope you have had a good day! I know that you probably know that today is my birthday ~ how old is Mommy? “Twenty-one!” (This is a Mommy and Morgan game/joke we played ~ she always said “Twenty-one!” What a sweetie!) I was thinking about my past birthdays, and remembered that ever since I figured out that I was a little girl (and could have babies of my own) I always wanted to be a “mommy.” I have been so blessed to have had three of the best children (even Clayton) in the world. I love Zeke and Clayton so much, but I really felt complete when you were born. I was so happy. Each one of you have a very special place in my heart that is all your own. You are the most perfect little girl, and have the best attitude I have ever seen. Morgan I am so thankful to have had you in my life for the past three years with me ~ I have experienced the greatest love between a mother and daughter, and have even become a better daughter, because of what you taught me ~ you made me a better person than I ever imagined I could be... I miss you so much, my baby girl, and I will love you forever...

Date:: December 21, 2005

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope you had a good day. I have really missed you today. We went out to dinner tonight, and I sat there feeling so empty without you on my lap, asking for french fries with ketchup. You were always so cute with your ketchup and french fries ~ the way that you would dip them (or your fingers ~ silly girl) so gently into the ketchup. I want you to know that you are in my thoughts and in my heart and on my mind every second of everyday. I love you and miss you so much, precious girl.

Date:: December 20, 2005

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope that you have had a good day! Today was a difficult day for us ~ Your big brothers really miss you. Clayton had me rub his tummy for about 20 minutes, because he said "My tummy hurts because Morgan is gone." Then he asked me if my tummy hurts too. I told him that my tummy does hurt too (I did not go into how much my heart and head hurt). Zeke is trying very hard to be happy, because he knows how much you liked it when he was happy, but I told him that it is okay to be sad, too, and that you would understand. We all just want you to know how very much you are loved! All of our hugs and kisses to you, precious little CRAZY girl!

Date:: December 19, 2005

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! Tonight I was trying to get Clayton ready to take a bath, and when I helped him out of his shirt, he said, "I got your nose, Mommy!" It hit me right in the stomach ~ hard! Oh, it sounded just like you ~ the same inflection, the same pitch. It was so hard to hear ~ and to know that I can't hear those words out of your mouth. Another interesting thing that happened tonight was that Zeke was reading in the FROG, but he did not turn the reading light on. He laid down on the sofa to read, and a few minutes later the light just came on. This was the same light that kept going off when Daddy was trying to read last week. But tonight, when Zeke was reading his assignment, it came on and just stayed on. Zeke called me upstairs to tell me what had happened. I laughed, and asked if he knew that the light had gone out last week ~ he did not. Anyway, we would like to thank you, Morgan for turning on the light for Zeke to read tonight. We love you and miss you so very much, Baby Girl!

Date:: December 18, 2005

Today

Hi Morgan~Morgan! I hope you had a good day. I made cookies with your brothers today, and I have to say that you are far better at helping make cookies than they are. We made your favorite peanut butter and jelly thumbprint cookies. I looked at all the thumbprints, and they seemed so much bigger than the ones we made together in October. You were so good at making thumbprints ~ I am so proud you! We love you and miss you so much!

Date:: December 17, 2005

Today

Hi Morgan-Morgan! I hope you had a good day. I know that you are either going to think that I am totally insane, or you are going to laugh your little head off (I suspect the latter), when I tell you this. Today Aunt Debbie and I were in the hallway, right in front of your picture, and my cell phone started vibrating. I had turned it to “vibrate only” yesterday when I went to see the doctor. So, I opened up my phone, and it was not a call, and it was not a new text message. It was a scrolling message with an image of the Earth above it, and something that looked like an antenna coming out of it. The message said, “I neeede uuu tuuu” and that was it. Aunt Debbie saw the message, but when I showed it to Daddy, all the phone said was “Stacy Saville.” Now the message is not in my text message files, and there is no history of the call. So, I think that I am going to believe that it was a message from you. It just makes me feel better to know that I am getting signs from you. I hope it was you... I miss you, and love you so very much.

Date:: December 16, 2005

Today

Hi Morgan! Oh ~ I really miss you tonight. I watched Clayton fall asleep, and I just missed not seeing you fall alseep ~ not that you would ~ you would have fought sleep ~ like you always did. I feel so empty without you here ~ I miss your voice and your "big hugs." I miss my best girl. I hope and pray that you are okay, and that you know how much we love you and miss you. Good night my sweet angel. XOXO

Date:: December 15, 2005

Today

Hi Morgan-Morgan Saville! I hope that you had another beautiful sunny day in Heaven. Tonight, Clayton was running around and his pants kept falling down, and he said "Morgan, stop it ~ you are making me CRAZY!" I remember how just two weeks ago, you were poking him in bed while Daddy was reading to you, and he said the exact same thing. We all really miss you here. Zeke came home from school early today. He has done really well, but sometimes, it just hits him that you aren't going to be here when he gets home. I know how he feels... We love you and miss you so very much, my precious little angel.

Date:: December 14, 2005

Today

Hi Morgan-Morgan! I love you! I miss you! I just wanted to thank you for helping me laugh today ~ I mean really really laugh. I thought I might not ever again. Tonight, Daddy was reading up in the FROG (Finished Room Over the Garage) where we would have our home preschool classes. Well, the light over his head went out ~ and we both looked at each other ~ you know that weird, kind of freaked out look. Daddy tapped the lamp shade, and the light came back on, and he said, "Morgan." Then it happened again, and Daddy really screwed the light into the socket well. And he had that same look on his face as he did when you would do things just to make him CRAZY! Being an electrical engineer, he then told me it was just an electrical problem. But then it happened again, and I just laughed and laughed and laughed. At three years old, you would be right at that age where turning on and off lights would be a fun thing to do, especially since you were not able to do that here. I hope that you had fun, and got a kick out of seeing Daddy so upset ~ I know I did! I love you, and miss you so much my silly girl!

Date:: December 13, 2005

Today

Morgan ~ Thank you for helping me get through the day today. Clayton has been talking about you and asking about you all day today. He told me that he wanted to write something very important to you, and I asked him what that was, and he said he wanted to tell you "I love you." Thank you for helping him understand why you have gone to heaven. It has helped me also to talk to him about it. Today he read you the Dinosaur Book that doesn't have any words, I reminded him that you did not like that book, so he read you the book about the puppy. I know that you must have loved listening to him. He also told me that he was very mad when the men (the rescue workers) came to our house. He thought that they were going to hurt you ~ I explained to him that they were trying to help you. I hope that he understands. Morgan-Morgan, I love you so much, and I know that you are working overtime trying to help us be happy again, but we will always miss you until we are with you again.

Date:: December 11, 2005

Today

Morgan Morgan, I hope you know that last night I had a dream about you ~ I dreamed that you were in the hospital ~ but it was set up much more like a five star hotel (more your style). I dreamed that they told us that you were not going to make it, but you did ~ your tummy started to move up and down like it always did when you were breathing on your own, and I called Daddy over to look at your tummy, and you opened up your beautiful eyes and smiled right up at me, and said, "Hi Mommy!" and then you turned your head to look at Daddy and you said, "Hi Daddy!" Then I woke up! I wish I had stayed with you longer. Thank you for dropping in to say Hi! I love you, and miss you so much! All my kisses to you baby girl!

Date:: December 10, 2005

Today

I am so grateful that there are no cough machines in heaven, and that you don't have to try to trick me into not coughing you ~ you silly girl! Morgan Morgan ~ I love you.

Date:: December 10, 2005

Today

Morgan baby, words are just not enough ~ I love you so much, and I miss you so very much ~ we are always best girls.

Date:: December 06, 2005

Today

Oh Morgan, my baby, I miss you so much! You are my best girl! I love you! I love you! I love you!