*Lily's July Journal*

July 2002

July 27, 2002   Hello all!!!  I bet you all thought I was never going to update the journal again.  When the computer crashed a few months ago I lost alot of stuff and I have to get the disk to load into my computer so I can do my own updates again but for now I have to thank Sue for doing this for me.  Things here have been hectic since Brian has left but I hope that soon they can slow down again.   Lily has been doing FANTASTIC and is my source of joy and comfort.  She has been so forgiving with mommy being preoccupied with things but we have now gotten back into our routine and it is better than ever.  I do not have the hassle of Brian being a...well I will not put it into words here.  Lily and I are truly doing so very well it is almost scary!  We both are so independent and so it is nice with just her and I (and of course Noni has been here the whole time too helping).  Lily is growing, getting bigger and prettier all the time.  We have made many outings in the last few months and it has been nice to be able to get her out of the house and let her see things.   We both have been going to church and she loves it.  She stays with me the whole time but she has enjoyed seeing that there is more to life then Elmo, Oswald, and Rolie Polie Olie.  It is so hard to believe that next week she will be 14 months old already!  We have had a really good summer (aside from all the crap we have been dealing with).  She goes to the mall quite often and we make trips to Target, among other places as well.  Friday night she got to go to her first big "outing" at church and was around other kids for the first time ever.  She loved it, she watched all the other kids running around, playing and she would smile at them, make faces, laugh, and did so very well.  I was not sure how she would like it but the kids were great.  They were all very curious about her and "what's wrong" with her but kids are great at putting people at ea se.  Adults are usually the ones who make things weird.  They thought it was "cool" that she got fed directly to her stomach and wanted to watch me feed her.  The asked about why I suction her, why she lays there, and on and on and on.  I love to answer the questions and I think it is good for Lily too.  She is a social butterfly now and loves to entertain everyone with her many faces, smiles, and "chatter".   All the adults are very nice as well (it was a single parent outing by the way).   I took her over to "play" with all the other kids and tried to make her feel like she was a part of it all.  We ran around as much as we could.  I thought I would feel a little sad seeing all the kids running around and knowing that Lily couldn't do it but really I am so very thankful for Lily that is didn't bother me as bad.   Don't get me wrong, I wish she was doing all that stuff too but because of my love for her...I just think of her as being unique and special.  She is the joy and light of my life!  She loves EVERYTHING about being out and about...the lights, the movement, the people....I am so glad that I can do those things with her and enjoy them.   I better get to bed but I will do my best to be better about sending the updates.....thank you all for being there for me and Lily and remembering us in your thoughts and prayers.  Keep them coming because they are working and helping.   God Bless!!!!!!

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